Typically Atypical
by Ms Elaura
Summary: Now officially into Book 2! This is the saga of a female soldier who finds herself in Middle Earth during the Fellowship of the Ring, and after. Not your typical girl falls into Middle Earth story -- presenting Typically Atypical
1. The Intro

The Intro - Or - Everything except the actual HOW I ended up in Middle Earth 

**Author's Notes:**

**This entire story was lost during the "great crash". I did not have a backup on my harddrive and was only able to retrieve the first two chapters from Google's "cached" pages. Those two chapters are original, with very little editing. The rest of the story up to chapter 16 is re-written from memory. If any of my previous readers see that I have left out anything, please let me know and I will do my best to fix it. After chapter 16, I resumed the story where I left off. **

**Thank you to aelfwine and Wyn Telemnar for your help and support. Your encouragement has brought me out of my depression over the loss of my story and helped me decide to re-write it and not just give up altogether. **

**Thank you to my other reviewers for encouraging me the first time through. **

**My heart goes out to everyone else who lost their accounts as well as their stories. **

**Original Author's Notes: First attempt. That will be obvious. possible Mary Sue . . . at least the POV is a female OC . . . but as the title suggests, she ain't typical. Don't really know where this is going, either. **

**I claim ownership of none of J.R.R. Tolkien's original plot or characters; however, Elaura and her story Typically Atypical are Copyrighted 2008. **

* * *

So, I was sitting at my computer as I had done so many days before, reading LOTR fanfiction. I hadn't slept after getting off night shift and I had been smoking a LOT and drinking a couple beers with nothing more substantial on my stomach than an apple, an overripe kiwi and a few grapes. Naturally, insanity began to overtake me. I'd begun my daily readings with angsty, tragic stuff . . . you know the drill . . . rape, torture, character death. When I found a particularly well-written one that struck a little too close to my heart, so I switched to more light-hearted fare and ended up with a few humorous "death to Mary-Sue" ficlets. I learned a long time ago to limit my searches to the ones marked "completed" but by the time I had read my fifth single chapter parody I was pretty sick of all the poorly written, poorly spelled, slang-type fics that have Elladan and Elrohir calling each other 'Dan and 'Ro and I finally felt like I was going to lose a few slices of overripe kiwi when I got to one that referred to Arwen as "Winnie".

I jumped when the phone rang, tempted to let yet another message register on my answering machine so that it could blink at me just that much faster . . . I haven't actually checked my messages in nearly a month and it's been longer since I checked my snail-mail. I'm afraid to even look at my Outlook Express! Six email accounts full of penile and herbal breast enhancement spam. So the phone was ringing. Which one? Was it the vonage or the local phone? What did it matter anyway? In this modern world of communication and travel all I really wanted to do was shut it all off and crawl into my bed and hide under the blankets. So I gave into temptation and watched the blinking number 9 become a number 10 and wondered fleetingly why I could no longer hear the messages as they were recording and what would happen when it reached 100 when there is only room on the display for two digits.

I spend my time when I am not reading fanfiction living in my imagination. Sometimes I am living as a makeup artist on the set of the LOTR (buddy-buddy with all the actors whose names I can remember) and sometimes I am living in Middle Earth pretending I am NOT a Mary Sue and changing sad little details of the story that do not fit into my "happily ever after" sensibilities. Oh, when I'm not doing that, I'm actually a soldier. Meaning, I put on ACUs or BDUs every day and crawl into a different kind of cave and answer phones and type reports on a computer - your tax dollars at work.

Back to the story, such as it is:

I finished another beer as the phone began to blink 10 and opened another pack of Marlboros. It was 12:37 in the afternoon . . . Okinawa time. 37 minutes past my daily dose of Zoloft and pain medication. I groped around the freezer for another 90 second microwaveable wonder of modern science, popped it in and waited impatiently for the tasteless entree to become way too hot to eat because as we all know if we drop the heating time by ONE second it'll be cold as ice in the center. I was overtired and not particularly hungry but I had to eat because the medicine bottle tells me I have to (although it also says not to drink while I'm taking it and I ignore that). So I thought to myself "what the fuck?" and let my vision tunnel. Then came the sparklies. Anyone who knows what a migraine is like knows what the "sparklies" are. When your peripheral vision starts to go dark and little sparks of light begin to shoot in from all sides like white hot metal from a grinding wheel. I had two choices, choke down a little food, take the pills and make the room as dark as possible, or stare at the computer, reading the little white type against the black background and ride out the headache. Again I thought, "what the fuck?" and decided to ride it out. There was a pattern of bad choices developing and although I recognized it, I just didn't much care anymore, so I switched to whisky and went with it.

Naturally, my old mind just couldn't take it and I spun out. At this point I don't care what neuropathy or quantum temporal physics landed me in Middle Earth. I just opened my eyes to a bright sun where it shouldn't have been, and a headache worse than any I'd ever had before. How did I know I was in Middle Earth? I didn't. The Nine Walkers did NOT wander up to me and introduce themselves, nor did I find a mall-map with a big YOU ARE HERE arrow on it. I just pretty much figured I had to be in Middle Earth because I wasn't in my barracks room in Okinawa anymore and it seems like everyone ends up in ME eventually anyway. Besides, it LOOKED like Middle Earth, or at least what I've always imagined Middle Earth to look like.

There I was, laying in the middle of a disused dirt road, wearing a set of old blue cotton pajamas with tiny flowers all over them, terrycloth slippers and no underwear. Not a pretty sight, considering I'm 36 years old, six-foot tall, 185 lbs and looked like I had had too much to drink and not enough sleep. At my best I can turn a few heads, but au naturel I look pretty, well natural. And I had a blistering headache.

Now, I've read all of Tolkien's published works and seen all the films (including the extended versions) as well as read too many fanfics to count . . . and they all have meshed in my addled mind to the point that I have no idea what is book-verse or movie-verse or alternate universe anymore. I couldn't even tell you which elves were original Tolkien creations and which were developed later. I also don't know any more Elvish than _"hannon le"_ and _"mellon nín"_ and the occasional noun. I might be able to wring _"mae govannen"_ out of my little grey cells if it will keep me from being riddled with long straight arrows with pretty feathers on one end and sharp points on the other . . . maybe.

There I was, in the midst of my very own fanfic, with a "what the fuck?" attitude and a head filled with tiny dwarves with hammers and pickaxes mining their way through my skull.

Although the road seemed dusty and disused I had the sense to roll off of it and ended up in a shallow ditch with my back leaning against the side towards the road in a semi-sitting position taking feeble stock of myself:

First: I'm not in great shape for a soldier, I spend too much time on my ass and I feel older than I am most of the time.

Second: I'm lousy at land navigation and since the sun is a little off of high noon I have no idea whether it is morning or afternoon or which way is east or west.

Third: Assuming this IS Middle Earth and I DON'T wake up from this insanity, I might have to figure out how to get water and food. If I'm going to be in this reality, I might as well stay alive, after all.

Fourth: Since I can't readily recognize any distinguishing landmarks; there are mountains and valleys and rolling plains and no apparent deepening shadows or deadly-looking marshes or talking forests in the vicinity; I have no idea where or WHEN I am in Middle Earth.

Fifth: I have none of the things that I have come to depend on for survival, ie. coffee, cigarettes, chapstick, my medication, my handy-dandy Gerber, sunscreen, or toilet paper.

On the plus side, it's not winter, I did just eat something and at least I hadn't decided to sleep naked today.

That said I came to the conclusion that I was obviously not in Kansas anymore Toto and since roads generally go from one populated place to another I figured I might as well follow this one and keep an eye out for scarecrows, tinmen and cowardly lions. I was hoping that I would run across SOMETHING useful before monkeys started flying out of my ass. Or at least before the caffeine and nicotine withdrawal turned me into the tenth Nazgûl.

I stood up and looked up and down the road. My memory of Tolkien's maps was so fuzzy it didn't matter which way I went and since I couldn't see anything promising in either direction I went left. Why left? Why not?

As I walked at a fairly leisurely pace, I retreated back into my mind as is my tendency. "What usually happens in fanfics?" I asked myself. Frighteningly, I answered myself, "The OC eventually bumps into a main character somewhere and they exchange a lot of confused dialogue in languages that neither understands until someone's universal translator kicks in and they understand one another." Hm, it could happen.

After all, if this is a dream I should be able to control it somewhat, right? So at that point I decided to test my theory. Usually in the dreams that I am self-aware I can fly. I figured it couldn't hurt to give it a go so I attempted a few Superman-style "up, up and away" moves and nothing happened. Not promising. OK, if I were in a dream, I've just busted the myth that people can control their dreams when they realize they are dreaming. People say you can't feel pain in dreams . . . I pinched myself. It hurt, go figure. Myth two busted. People also say that you can't read in dreams. I squatted down in the road and wrote my name in the dirt with my finger. I could write it and read it. Myth three busted. Or maybe this wasn't a dream?

I stood up and continued walking and talking to myself. I think I was talking out loud to myself at this point; there wasn't anyone around so I can't be sure. Not a dream . . . maybe I'm in a coma and this is my brain giving me a new reality to pass the time as I veg-out. I couldn't think of a good way to test that theory so I went with it. I said to myself, "Self, you are in a coma and as your brain turns to mashed potatoes you are entertaining yourself, so far, so good. Don't fuck it up."

My next thought was about what I would do if I found myself entwined in the major happenings at the end of the third age. For some reason Katherine Janeway entered my internal dialogue and muttered something about the "prime directive" and again the words "don't fuck it up" came back to me. I began to consider two possibilities :

One, that I am a major player and I am here for a reason and I CAN change things for the better.

Two, that I am a major player and I might not want to face the consequences of messing with Master Tolkien's life's work.

A third possibility flitted through my mind that I was a minor character and that I was going to die of exposure a nameless, faceless extra whose bones were going to end up bleached in the sun on this very road, but I quickly put that out of my head because it would suck royally.

All the while I continued walking. The sun was bright and I made an attempt to mark which way my shadow was lengthening. The road I was traveling seemed to be heading east-west with me going east. I was glad of that mercy; at least I wasn't traveling into the sun. In the distance, I could see what looked like the dust trail of a car driving up a dirt road. I knew there were no cars in Middle Earth so I decided it must be a rider on horseback traveling at least at a gallop, if not all out running like a bat out of Hell. I kept my eyes on it but I knew that there was a 50 chance it was not a friendly so I decided to get off the road. There was some scrub growing a little ways off to the side so I got myself on the other side of it and kept the road on my right, hoping that I would have the chance to flag down the rider before it whizzed past me - if I could tell soon enough whether or not it was a good guy. As the dust trail approached, I could see that it wasn't just one rider and although colors are a little tough to distinguish at a distance I could at least see that these were not brightly clad people. Dark green or blue maybe and the horses were probably brown or black. I didn't see the sunlight glinting off armor either, indicating that they were probably not riders of Rohan or knights of any reputable army. Still holding out hope that they might be rangers or elves I stood behind the scrub and watched them speeding towards me. I was still making my way forward slowly along the scrub when I realized there were three riders and there was something about them that just wasn't right. They weren't reflecting any light at all. Not good.

As they approached at a quick pace I was becoming concerned about what I would do if they stopped. I was pretty sure by this time they were Black Riders . . . would they smell me? Did they know at this point that I was of no interest to them or would they kill me for sport? I remembered a fanfic about a fox that was killed by a Black Rider for sport and I wasn't exactly a match for anyone, let alone three nasties on horseback. The first two sped past me as I crouched behind the bushes, but the third slowed. It came to a stop in the road and turned to face where I was hiding. I knew that by this time I was smelling pretty ripe and even if I wasn't the shampoo and conditioner I had used when I showered before going to work last night was heavily scented. I couldn't hide so I stood up and faced the Dementor wanna-be.

"Shire . . . Baggins . . ." it hissed at me.

Two things flew through my mind at that moment: Farmer Maggot did NOT get killed and the hobbits were NOT on the road. So I pointed my thumb in the direction I had been walking away from (west, if you were paying attention) and didn't say a word.

Now at this point you might be thinking that was a shitty thing to do . . . after all anyone who knows ANYTHING about the LOTR knows that if the Black Riders were still asking for Baggins they were on their way to the Shire and most likely I was on the road between the Shire and Rivendell. However, give me a fucking break. They were ALREADY going west and I had no idea where the hobbits might be at this time. If I had pointed north or south or even east I might have been pointing directly at them as they are NOT on the road . . . right? I had no idea where exactly I was, if I was between Buckland and Bree or between Bree and Rivendell and I also had no idea whether they were ahead of me or behind me. I figured the best thing to do is keep the riders going in the direction they were going, because as Tolkien wrote it, the Black Riders were going to be late either way.

My blood was running cold but I stood there trying to appear expressionless and the rider turned and started after his comrades. I was paralyzed for a bit and when they were nothing but dust trails in the distance, I realized I really had to relieve myself . . . fast! I drew on some long-forgotten camping skills and began looking for some leafy bush or tree nearby to use as toilet paper. Preferably something wide, soft, without fuzzies or pricklies and moistureless. Last thing I needed was a Middle Earth version of poison ivy on my nether regions. Suddenly, I realized that I didn't even have my towel. What kind of multiple-reality hitchhiker goes off without their towel?! I laughed at myself and the lame _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ reference and continued to look around for some fairly soft and dead foliage. Although my pj's had three pieces: long bottoms, a tank top and a three-quarter sleeve shirt that snapped up the front, I was loath to use any part of it to clean myself because with night coming on I had the feeling I would need every stitch I was wearing. Shortly (thank God . . . or the Valar . . . or my twisted imagination), I found a bush that had some broad, dead leaves and grabbed a sturdy branch, pulled down my bottoms and leaned away from it. I finished my business, let myself air-dry as long as I could keep myself from falling over and grabbed a few leaves. I figured if I used my left hand, I might just remember to not rub my face with it or eat with it until I found some water to wash up in.

At this point, as I had had no sleep and little food or water, reality began to creep into my brain. I needed cover, I needed water and I needed food. This was no dream. I was beginning to feel a chill in the shadows as the sun continued it's trek into the West and my mouth was dry and my stomach was getting noisy.

I also began to wonder if there were trolls, orcs or wargs around these parts. I was now certain only that I had entered this story before Weathertop, and my brain was feeding me information that I couldn't be sure was from the LOTR or maybe from _The Hobbit_. I could really only be sure that I was on an east-west road somewhere between Mordor and the Shire, since I couldn't really know at what point the Riders were in their search. There were mountains way off in the east, but I couldn't be certain whether they were the Misty Mountains or the Mountains surrounding Mordor (Ephel Duath, although I couldn't recall the name at the time).

I decided I would think about that tomorrow and started looking for a place to sleep. Water and food could wait, I was just so tired. I knew two things about Middle Earth . . . stay away from strange forests and stay off the road. So basically, I trudged up the road another thirty minutes or so and found a soft spot under the scrub. I couldn't see any other cover close enough to the road to keep it in sight and at least the bushes provided a little concealment. Exhausted, I dug a little into the leaf litter, curled up and fell asleep hoping that it wouldn't get so cold during the night that I would wake.


	2. The road goes ever on

And on . . . by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**I have had to add a few more days of travel. I realized that my timeline was slightly off in the original version. If you had counted the days that my heroine was actually in Middle Earth, you would have found that she entered Middle Earth on or after Weathertop. That would have made the Black Riders basically in the wrong place at the wrong time. Besides, she can go a few days without food and she's going to be rained on. Wish me luck with this. I'll be rewriting until Chapter 7, let's hope the two ends meet. **

**Standard Disclaimer. **

**BTW, anything in italics is what my heroine is thinking to herself. **

**IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist.**

* * *

I awoke the next morning very cold. My pjs were damp with dew. It had gotten very chilly in the night, but I hadn't awakened. All I could do was snuggle deeper into the leaf litter and pull my knees up inside my shirt like a little kid. I unwound myself in the pale, early-morning sun and realized my headache had gotten worse. It was joined now by excruciatingly sore joints and every part of my body that had been in contact with the cold, hard ground was as painful as a bruise.

As I was moving, I felt little droplets of dew falling off the bushes around me so I scrambled under them on my back and lay there shaking the branches trying to catch the water in my mouth. There wasn't much, but it was something. I tried not to think of what other things fell into my mouth than water and decided not to spit them out because I didn't want to lose any of the moisture. _"If there were any bugs in that, it's just protein, right?_ I thought to myself. I crawled out from under the bush and started walking, heading into the ever-brightening sun. I moved slowly at first, letting my arms and legs get used to moving again. Withdrawal was in full swing, not just from caffeine and nicotine but I was also feeling a little depressed and a lot of rebound pain from not having my medication. All of this together made me a very unpleasant person even for ME to be around, but since I have never been a practitioner of Astral Projection, I was stuck with myself.

"Another fine mess you've gotten yourself into." I muttered as I trudged down the road.

"Oh, I suppose it's all MY fault we're stuck in the middle of nowhere with no food and water?"

"WE?! You're starting to sound like Gollum."

"Now I suppose you're going to blame ME for joining the military? 'Join the ARMY,' you said. 'See the WORLD,' you said. Well, we're bloody well seeing the world NOW aren't we?!"

"Don't yell at me! It's your stupid brain that's gotten you here. If you hadn't been eating, drinking and sleeping The Lord of the Rings, you might have dreamt up something better in your coma!"

I couldn't argue with that. I'm lying somewhere in a hospital dying a slow, excruciating death of dehydration and malnutrition and all my mind can think of to distract me is to stick me in the hot sun dying of dehydration and malnutrition. Stupid brain damage.

I scanned the horizon and the lands around me looking for something familiar. I didn't recognize anything in particular, but I did see a line of dark green crossing my path far in the distance. In my travels across the US, specifically the Midwest, I noticed that such lines usually indicated a river or stream. Taller trees and bushes grow near water. Unfortunately, I've never had a good sense of distance so I couldn't tell whether this tree line was a day's walk away or a week's. I continued my dialogue with myself, I don't really know if I was talking out loud or just thinking, because there was nobody around to hear me anyway.

"Let's see, I remember a report I once did on death and dying . . . 'A healthy person who gets no water whatsoever, including from food, would probably last about 15 days. Death by dehydration for a sick person may happen in as few as four days.' Am I healthy or sick? I'm definitely sick in the head, but I'll assume I'm at least in good enough condition to last a week. After that, I'll probably be too weak to move anyway so I guess I have seven good days of travel if I don't find water. I don't remember how long a person can go without food, but I seem to recall plenty of hunger strikes in the news lasting a month or more."

That was assuming I couldn't find food and water in the meantime. Even though I was frustrated and not really in my right mind, I knew there was food and water all around me, if I could just find it. First of all, my brother, being something of a "super-soldier" had explained to me many survival techniques, in gory detail. For instance, you can eat roadkill; all you have to do is determine which parts of the meat are still good. I decided to save that for at least the thirtieth day of my forced hunger strike if not later. He also told me about insects. "Bugs are great!" he said. "Full of protein. Keep you alive indefinitely." _Yummy! What else, what else? I know there was something else! Give it up, brain or I swear I'll kill as much of you as possible the next time I get my hands on a bottle of whisky!_ "Oh yes! I remember, he told me how to determine if vegetation is poisonous! You eat a tiny bit, wait six hours and if you don't get sick you eat a little more and wait another six hours! Well, it doesn't look like I have anything but time, so I'll give it a whirl!"

I spent some time inspecting the bushes on both sides of the road still moving east as quickly as I could. Eventually, I found some berries. They looked something like small blackberries in various stages of ripeness and they were hanging on a vine. Some looked like they had been nibbled by critters and there were a lot of seeds and bird droppings on the ground around the bush the vine was growing on. "That's promising; at least there are animals that don't find these deadly." I took off my shirt and tied a knot in one of the sleeves. I picked as many of the ripest berries as I could find and dumped them into the sleeve and then tied the shirt around my waist carefully, trying not to squash my cargo in the knot. I then picked one more berry and pulled it apart so that the little sections were separated. I put one tiny section into my mouth, chewed it carefully and swallowed, hoping it wasn't one of those extremely rare fruits that were so poisonous the tiniest bit would kill a rhinoceros. Why a rhino? Again, why not? I wondered what the whole thing might taste like; since the little bit I ate seemed to have very little flavor at all. I checked the position of the sun in the sky, it was just barely touching the mountaintops in the distance, and I decided not to eat another piece of the fruit until the sun was directly over my head.

I got back on the road and continued walking. My lips were getting chapped and my mouth was dry. I had a Basic Training flashback and remembered a drill sergeant saying that if your lips were chapped you could use the oil from the side of your nose to lubricate them. My brain also coughed up a little tidbit about sucking on small pebbles to keep your saliva going so I tried both techniques and they helped a little. I could feel the sun beating down on my face and shoulders and knew I was getting one hell of a sunburn, but there wasn't really anything I could do about it. When the sun was high overhead I pulled another section off the berry I had in my hand and popped it into my mouth. "At least it's juicy. If it doesn't kill me, I'll get some moisture from it," I muttered to myself. "I'll have another bite at dusk and if I'm not dead by morning, I'll try a whole berry."

I kept walking; taking rests every now and then, and started to get peeved. Actually, I was pissed. "Where the hell IS everybody?" I yelled. "If I'm on the 'Great East Road' it should be crawling with elves and rangers looking for travelers! If I'm on some road between Gondor and Mordor, I'd think that I'd have been waylaid by Faramir's people by now. If I'm in a fanfic, I'd love to get my hands on the author. Whoever it is, they SUCK!" Time passed and the only thing that changed was the position of the sun and the fact that now it was my back getting sunburned. At dusk, I thought, _What the fuck?_ and popped the rest of the berry into my mouth. It was sweet and tasted, well, green. I can't really describe what green tastes like, but try to imagine the difference between a Granny Smith apple and a Red Delicious. That difference is what the berry tasted like. I began looking for a good spot to sleep. I found a place under the scrub alongside the road which also hadn't changed in my day's travel. This time, I dug a deeper hole in the leaf litter. I untied the knot in my sleeve, poured out the berries in a pile and put it back on. I pulled all the leaves and dirt back over me hoping it would keep me warm and maybe even a little drier and mercifully, I fell asleep quickly.

* * *

_Shereen Jegtvig; ©2006 About, Inc., A part of The New York Times Company._


	3. Westron isn't English is it?

The Language Barrier - Or - Westron isn't English . . . is it? by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**If you'll check the timeline at the end of RotK, you'll find that that the Black Riders split up fairly early in their search. On September 23rd: "Four Riders enter the Shire before dawn. The others pursue the Rangers eastward, and then return to watch the Greenway. A Black Rider comes to Hobbiton at nightfall." My story assumes that they continue to split up and regather and split up again, which is supported by the fact that Glorfindel only drives off three Riders at the Bridge of Mitheithel on the 11th of October. **

**  
You may ask why the Black Rider my character met on the road was still asking for "Shire . . . Baggins"? It is quite possible this was his way of asking if she had seen Baggins **_**of the Shire.**_** Despite her previous assumption, she has arrived in Middle Earth on the 8th of October, AFTER the attack on the camp under Weathertop (October 6th). **

**  
Please disregard my notes on the previous chapter pertaining to this. After studying the timeline, I decided to leave it the way it was originally, adding only one full day of travel. Sorry about the confusion. **

**  
Standard Disclaimer.**

**IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist.**

* * *

I awoke at dawn much asfthought I had better not move until I could clear the sleep out of my head. I opened my eyes to dirt and leaves and had the feeling there was a reason I should be careful about moving, though I couldn't remember what it was. My stomach growled and I remembered the berries. I didn't want to roll over on them and squash them, "Now where did I put them?"

I turned my head, looking for the small pile. I saw them a little bit away from me and they looked like they were moving. "Hey!" I yelled, "Those are MINE!" A mouse jumped and ran away as fast as his little legs would carry him. I rolled toward the pile to see how much damage had been done. There were a couple half-eaten berries and a several small, cigar-shaped droppings around the pile. "Little bastard! Good thing I couldn't catch you, I'd be having ratatouille for breakfast! 'Well, you can live on it, but it tastes like shit.'" I remembered that last line from _Crocodile Dundee_ and thought maybe I wasn't quite hungry enough for skewered rodent yet. "Besides, what am I going to do, eat it raw, fur and bones and all? I haven't even got my pocketknife." I shook the branches over my head and tried not to think about the bits and pieces of whatever it was falling into my mouth with the dew. Again I rose carefully, feeling like I was 80 years old, letting my joints and muscles warm up to the idea of another long day's walk. I wasn't sick and there were no pains in my stomach that I couldn't attribute to hunger so I sat next to my pile of berries and ate. At first I'd planned to just eat one or two and wait to see if I would get sick, but then I figured "What the fuck?" and ate half the pile. They were sweet and juicy and I felt much better. I re-tied the knot in my sleeve and put the rest of the pile back in and tied the shirt around my waist again.

I got up, still very sore and stiff and I realized slippers were NOT the most comfortable footwear for long journeys. My headache had eased off a bit, but was still there. My sunburn was pretty bad and it felt weird to be both hot to the touch and bone chillingly cold inside at the same time. I looked to the east and could see that I had gotten quite a bit closer to the tree line. "I may reach it today! That would be great. There's probably critters living in and around that water, maybe even people!" I got back on the road and headed east again. The sun was bright in my eyes and intensified my headache. I had been working night shift for most of my three years in the army and the bright yellow ball in the sky was not my friend. "Hm, Gollum and I have a lot in common. Maybe if I meet the little bugger, we can compare notes."

When the sun was over my head, I could hear the water and see a bridge in the distance. I quickened my pace, not bothering to stop to rest. "I can sleep under that bridge tonight. I might even be able to build a fire. A vine, a couple of sticks and some dry twigs . . . I know I can do it. I saw _Castaway_ three times! There's probably fish in that water, too. Mmmm . . . fish. 'We only wish to catch a fish, so juicy-sweet!' Well, that tears it, I've lost my mind completelyf, no ring of power required."

When I finally got to the bridge, I stumbled straight to the water's edge and lay down on my belly to drink. I didn't even bother to cup my hands, I just sucked it right into my mouth. After I hfad drunk my fill, I rolled over and rested my head on a rock and let the cool water rush through my hair and over my hot shoulders. I had intended to just lie there, looking at the clouds through the trees until I had the strength to make camp, but I must have drifted off to sleep because the next thing I knew I was being shaken.

_SHAKEN?!_ I should have realized that anyone who wanted to do me harm wouldn't have bothered to wake me first, but in my sleep-addled state I jumped and sat bolt-upright. This turned out to be a bad thing for two reasons: First, the person who was doing the shaking was leaning over me and I crashed into them when I sat up. Second, I had been laying on an incline and there was an inordinate amount of blood in my brain so when I sat up so fast I got a headrush. Between the sudden pain in my nose and the headrush, I nearly fainted. When I got my bearings and opened my eyes I saw a person sitting beside me in the mud. I had knocked him on his ass. I could see he was a male and I was so glad to see someone who wasn't dressed all in black and hissing at me that I leaned forward and hugged him tightly, like a little kid would hug their mother's knees.

He stiffened in the embrace in the pan-reality, universal sign for "You are invading my personal space" and I let go immediately and scooted backward . . . right back into the stream. He looked startled for a moment, but regained his composure as well as his feet immediately. He offered me his hand to help me up and I let the water clean the mud off my right hand and took his assistance. I brushed my wet hair out of my face and looked at my hands, they were smeared with blood. I instinctively grabbed the bridge of my nose and tilted my head back. I looked at him through my fingers and saw that there was no doubt, he was an elf. _"Bae gobannen"_ I said through my blood stuffed nose and attempted to bow, though it was quite impossible with my head tilted back.

He looked at me with his mouth opening and closing like a fish, after all, I suppose it isn't everyday that an elf comes across a half-dead, river-witch who rises and greets him in his own tongue. In a flash, he remembered himself and returned the greeting beautifully, complete with bow, _"Mae govannen."_

I then discovered the problem with knowing a greeting in another language. He immediately launched into several quick questions in a musical language that I could not understand. _So much for the universal translator idea,_ I thought. I shrugged my shoulders in another pan-reality, universal gesture for "I don't know what the fuck you're saying."

He caught on instantly, elves are pretty sharp after all, and tried again in a slightly less musical language that sounded almost familiar, but he was speaking so fast I couldn't catch anything. I shrugged my shoulders again and sighed. He led me up the bank and back on to the road. He looked me over, apparently scanning for injuries and weapons. His eyes lingered over my nose and my sunburn, which was very obvious because the strap on my undershirt had slipped off my shoulder and there was a contrasting white stripe where it had been. I pulled it up and quickly put my shirt back on, or tried to. I put my hand in the tied sleeve and found the berries. I took it off again and untied the sleeve, letting the berries fall out. I pulled the shirt on again, the cool wetness felt good on my shoulders. The elf had bent down to look at the berries and looked up at me with his eyebrows raised. I was reminded of Elrond's so-called "Eyebrow of doom" and smiled. Then it occurred to me that this elf might know something about those berries that I didn't and I stopped smiling. He gathered the berries up and gave them back to me and I felt better. I took my hand away from my nose because I could no longer taste the blood running down the back of my throat and I groped my pants for pockets I already knew weren't there. I looked down and found a small decorative pocket on my shirt over my left breast that I had never noticed before, probably because it is one of those fashion accents that isn't big enough to put more than a tissue or in this case, a few berries in.

The elf stood up and I tried introducing myself in a "Me Tarzan, you Jane" pantomime. I touched my chest and said my name. Again, he caught on instantly and I pronounced my name slowly and carefully to make sure he got it right. He used the same gesture and said something that sounded very much like "Glorfindel." Things were starting to click. This was the bridge where Glorfindel was going to leave the jewel for Aragorn. "Don't fuck it up" came back to me and I realized I had to figure out a way to get Glorfindel to point me towards Rivendell and LEAVE me. I didn't want to delay him, he HAD to run the Black Riders off the bridge and meet Aragorn or Frodo would fade before he ever got to Rivendell.

Glorfindel's horse came up to where we were standing, "Asfaloth," I muttered absently. I glanced at the elf and saw he had that gaping fish-mouth again. I considered it would be better if I didn't let on quite how much I knew about the story, so I looked across the bridge and pointed east and asked, "Imladris?" hoping to change the subject. He smiled a closed-mouth smile and nodded, "yes" so I turned away from him and started to walk across the bridge hoping he would get the message. I felt a hand touch my shoulder gently and flinched because of my sunburn. I turned and tried the only thing I could think of to get him to let me go on my own, I pointed back up the road to the west, held up three fingers and said, "Nazgûl."

He knitted his brows and looked up the road. With a very concerned look on his face, he gestured towards his horse. He hopped up on Asfaloth's back gracefully and held out his hand to me. I sighed and took his hand. There was nothing I could do now; I just hoped that I wouldn't distract him from his mission too long. He lifted me up in front of him and took off east across the bridge at gallop.


	4. This was NOT in the books!

Personal Hygiene in Middle Earth - Or - This was NOT in the books! by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**I remember the least about Chapters 4 & 5, so they are combined. If I leave out anything important, please let me know and I'll work it into the next chapter somehow. **

**Insert Standard Disclaimer here. **

**IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist.**

* * *

Glorfindel and I rode hard and silently into the deepening shadows of the east. I'd had some experience with horseback riding and motorcycles and between the two I knew when to lean into turns and how to allow my body to move with the horse. Unfortunately, I also knew enough to be terrified at the speed we were riding and silently prayed that Glorfindel and Asfaloth could see what was ahead of us, because I certainly couldn't. It began to rain and I started to shiver. Glorfindel wrapped his cloak around us, it was warm and light like a wool/silk blend. I could feel his body heat against my back and although I was frightened out of my wits and getting pelted in the face by rain, I soon felt myself drifting off to sleep. My last thought was _I sure as hell hope he's got a good grip on me, if I fall off at this speed, I'm dead._

I dreamt about the dusty road I had traveled for the past two days through what seemed like a wasteland. Things that didn't occur to me as I was walking came back to me in my sleep. The only wildlife I had heard, or seen for that matter, was a squeak and the brown blur of the mouse I had scared away from my berries. I had met no travelers on the road except for the Black Riders who seemed to loom in every shadow of my dreamscape. I had a desperate feeling of being lost in a place that should've been familiar to me.

Ahead, in the distance, I could see trees and mountains, to the left and right of the road was nothing but endless acres of low-lying scrub and short yellow grasses. Behind me, rocky hills with their tops sheared off gave me the feeling that big nasty monsters were hidden behind them waiting for me to turn my back. In my dream I had a map of Middle Earth; the places were marked but I couldn't read the names.

Just then, the sky lit up in a flash and I heard a thunderclap that made me jump. I whirled around to see sparks and flames dancing on the top of the highest hill behind me, "Weathertop!" I shouted in my dream, spun around and began running as fast as I could. I ran towards the mountains, but instead of getting closer, they shrank further and further away. I heard hoof beats behind me. I kept running and the sound of the Riders got louder in my ears. Just as they overtook me, I jumped.

I woke to the feeling of warm liquid running down my lips, the distinct taste of iron in my mouth. The steady thumping of the Asfaloth's hooves apparently started my nose bleeding again. I turned slightly to face Glorfindel and he slowed our pace, eventually to a stop. I'd been trying to catch the blood in my hands to keep from getting it all over everything so when we stopped and I turned to look at my companion my face was smeared with blood and my hands were full. He looked at me and his expression was somewhere between sympathy and amusement; if I hadn't known better, I might have thought he was trying to stifle a laugh (come to think of it, I didn't know better and he probably was). I have to admit I must've looked pitiful.

He pulled a small cloth out of the front of his tunic and began lightly wiping my face (trust an elf to remember his towel). I could tell by the feeling as he wiped the blood off my face that my nose was very tender and very swollen. I examined his face to see if my nose had left a mark and I found nothing, not even a little bruise.

_Must be nice,_ I thought to myself. He shifted a little and produced a water skin from under his cloak, it was leather, horn-shaped and had a strap attached to either end. I uncorked it and took a sip, swished it around in my mouth and spit it out; I took another small sip and swallowed, and then I handed it back to him. My nose had stopped bleeding and I let the rain wash my hands clean. It was still dark and I had no idea how long or how far we'd ridden. As he tucked the cloth back into his tunic, I turned back around and we raced off again.

We veered north off the road, moving fast through dense underbrush. Asfaloth was sure-footed and it felt like we were following a path, although I couldn't see it. We rode into an area of trees (I later discovered that this was the southern edge of the Trollshaws) and the branches closed in overhead shielding us from the rain. Soon we approached a widening of the path and we slowed to a trot. Two elves stepped out on either side of the path and Glorfindel jumped down and greeted them. He then helped me off the horse and I stood shakily for a bit trying to regain my land-legs. The three spoke for a few moments in Elvish and Glorfindel mounted his horse again and rode off the way we had come. _"Hannon le,"_ I said quietly after him, but he didn't even turn around.

The two elves led me away from the path to a tight, cave-like thicket. It was dry and there was a small fire burning. It reminded me of the thicket Bambi was born in. I walked over to the fire and squatted, leaning into it and rubbing my hands together. The elves came into the firelight and I could see that they were male and they were twins. _"Mae govannen, Elladan, Elrohir,"_ I said as I stood and bowed. I suppose I startled them by knowing their names and they exchanged the fish-face for a split-second and then returned my greeting in perfect unison.

I squatted again and since my ankles have never been very strong it didn't last long and I plopped down onto the ground on my butt. The three of us sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, _I guess Glorfindel told them I couldn't understand him,_ I thought, and then my stomach growled . . . LOUDLY. The twins both grinned at me and began puttering around. One unrolled a dusty brown bedroll behind me and the other busied himself inside his pack, which was on the ground beside him. He put some leaves and water in a pot and put it on the fire. I was looking forward to tasting Elvish tea and silently hoped there was aspirin in those leaves. Three small wooden cups were produced from the pack as well as a cloth bundle.

One of the twins unwrapped the bundle and gave me a handful of dried fruit and nuts and some salted meat. I smiled gratefully and thought I should offer them some berries. I pulled the berries out of my pocket and opened my hand to the elves; they looked at each other with a strange smile and raised eyebrows and gestured for me to keep them. _What is it about these berries? Nobody seems worried about me eating them, but I keep getting these weird looks. First Glorfindel, and now the twins. Curiouser and curiouser . . ._ I popped a berry into my mouth and one of the twins snickered. I gave the laughing one a puzzled look and put the rest of the berries back in my pocket. The tea came to a boil while I was munching on the trail mix and meat and the elf closest to the fire poured it into the cups. Mine was too hot at first so I let it cool and steep for a while.

They gestured for me to lie down on the bedroll and I scooted back and lay down on my right elbow facing the fire holding the warm cup in both hands. One of the twins covered me with a cloak that resembled Glorfindel's. I slipped off my slippers and over-shirt and put them close to the fire to dry being careful not to squash the berries. I lay there, testing the temperature of my tea with little sips, studying the elves while they spoke softly to one another.

They were dressed similarly to Glorfindel: dusty, travel-worn, brown boots, trousers and tunic which looked like they were cut from the same piece of leather. Underneath the tunics they wore long-sleeved, peasant-style linen shirts in muted tones; one dark blue, the other grey-green. I remembered Glorfindel's was a deep maroon which went beautifully with his lion's mane of golden hair. All three had worn heavy leather bracers on their wrists, swords and sword belts, bows, arrows and quivers. They also wore similar hooded cloaks in varying shades of brown, green and grey. I finished my tea and one of the twins began to sing softly. I couldn't understand the words, but almost immediately I couldn't keep my eyes open. The only sounds I heard as I drifted off to sleep were the sweet song and the patter of rain on the branches of the thicket.

When I awoke, the rain was still coming down pretty hard and the day was gray. The twins were gone and the fire was out, but I really didn't have any reason to think they were gone forever, so I wasn't worried; as long as I stayed put and stayed quiet, like Bambi, I should be safe. I sat up slowly and tried to remember my dreams. I couldn't. I looked around the thicket and found a water skin and a pile of trail mix on a cloth nearby. _Jeez, do ALL elves know about bringing a towel?_ I sat there and finished off the fruit and nuts and washed it down with water. The trail mix tasted pretty much like cardboard and the meat and tea had been fairly tasteless as well. I was disappointed that because of my nose I couldn't smell and therefore I couldn't taste anything. I was probably lucky I couldn't smell anything though, after three days with no soap, deodorant or toothpaste I couldn't see how the poor elves could stand to be around me.

I was also lucky I didn't have a mirror. My hair was like straw and was getting matted in places so that if I didn't brush it soon I'd have to cut it all off. My face was bruised, swollen and sunburned. My fingernails were broken and filthy. I was altogether dirty, smelly and hairy. I couldn't believe I was in the land of the beautiful people and I looked like Ursula the sea witch.

I finished the self-assessment about the same time I finished my "breakfast" and I began to feel a familiar tingling. _I wonder how far you have to go from an elven camp to relieve yourself so that they don't smell it the second they come back?_ I put on my slippers and folded my shirt and stood up. I grabbed the cloth the food had been piled on and examined it to make sure it wasn't an heirloom handkerchief and found it was just a torn square of old clothing or something. Then I walked out of the thicket looking for a clearing where the rain was coming through the trees in the hopes of maybe wiping myself down. I took a few steps and turned around to make sure I was crushing enough grass so that I could find my way back. It wasn't exactly a "do no harm" policy, but I wasn't about to get myself lost and I was NOT going to foul the place where I ate and slept, especially since I was a guest. I picked my way through the weeds and found a gentle slope away from the thicket about fifteen yards away. _First things first._ I located a strong sapling and some appropriate foliage and pulled down my pjs. I grabbed hold of the sapling and leaned away. When I was done, I realized there wasn't any sense in air-drying in the rain, although the cool water did feel good on my bare backside. I used the leaves for their intended purpose and pulled up my pants. By this time, I was quite soaked and getting a little chilly, so I rubbed my hands with a few wet, sweet-smelling leaves and headed back to the thicket, allowing the cloth to get as wet as possible on my way back.

When I returned, I found one of the twins was back and had rekindled the fire. Suddenly it occurred to me that if the elves were behaving in character, one of them had been watching over me the entire time. I suppose I should have been mortified, but three years in the military had desensitized me. I entered the thicket and took my place on the other side of the fire, being careful not to sit on the bedroll in my wet pjs. I put my shirt back on to cover up the rather prominent headlights poking out of my undershirt for modesty's sake (his, not mine) and slipped off my slippers and put them next to the fire to dry. I began trying to loosen the knots in my wet hair with my fingers. The elf started digging through his pack again and held out something that to me looked like a blessed gift from the Valar. He held it out to me; it was a simple wooden comb. I took it with an enthusiastic _"Hannon le!"_ and he smiled broadly. I raked the comb through my hair for a good long time, cursing under my breath as I fought the particularly nasty snarls, but eventually I got it straightened out. I looked around the thicket for something to tie it back with, but there was nothing. Not even a leather bootlace. I remembered a scene from _Thelma and Louise_ where Susan Sarandon tore up a shirt and tied strips around her neck and I started looking over my pjs for a place where I could afford to lose some fabric. I found a spot on my right pants leg cuff that was threadbare and began tearing it away. It didn't come off as cleanly as I would have liked, but it was elastic enough. So I slipped it off my foot and wound it around my hair several times. I'm sure I looked like a biker babe who had ridden the dusty trail a bit too long, but I felt better.

I handed the comb back to the elf who was watching me, fascinated. I felt like an insect in a jar. I picked up the cloth and wiped off my face and hoped that I had at least moved the dirt around a little. I looked down at my hands and immediately wished I hadn't. They were filthy, my fingers and nails were encrusted with dried blood and dirt. I wiped them vigorously and had a brief thought: _No wonder Orlando Bloom was always calling Viggo Mortensen a "filthy human." If he really was going all out on the method acting thing, he must've been pretty rank._ I smiled to myself at the thought of Liv Tyler having to get up close and personal with him, but I imagined that if Arwen's brothers could stand sharing their quarters with me, Aragorn was going to be just fine. I decided against asking to borrow the elf's knife to clean my fingernails with, it would have been too complicated a charade and if there was a misunderstanding I might have ended up with a new opening in my body; so I got up and walked over to a nearby bramble. I broke off a sturdy, thin twig and went back and sat on the imprint my wet butt had made in the dirt and went about cleaning the crud from under and around my nails. After a while we shared some more trail mix and water and I pulled a couple of berries out of my pocket and popped them in my mouth. The elf smiled and shook his head as I did so and I thought: _I have GOT to find someone who speaks English! What are these things and why does it amuse the elves so much when I eat them?!_

As dusk fell, I could only tell because the grey sky got darker grey, the other twin returned. The two elves exchanged a few words and then began to pack up. One of them put out the fire and the other started putting things back in his pack. I took this as a sign we were about to vacate the premises and I looked around for something I could help with. I motioned that I was willing to carry something and one of them handed me the water skin I had been using which I put on over my head so that the strap rested between my breasts and the pouch rested on my right kidney, cork-side up. As we were about to head out, I put my damp slippers back on and picked up the cloth, holding it out to the nearest of the brothers. He closed my fingers around it and gestured that I could keep it. I was so excited! _My very own towel! I finally have my very own towel!_ I felt like Dobby getting a piece of clothing! Of course if I had thought about it, I would've realized he probably wasn't being generous, he just didn't want the nasty thing back! So I proudly tucked it into my breast pocket, trying not to squish the berries.

They indicated for me to walk between them through the forest as we left the thicket and found the "path." I assume there was a path, the going wasn't too difficult for me, but I sure couldn't see any path. _I don't remember any of this from the books! Are Elladan and Elrohir supposed to be anywhere near Rivendell right now? What part did they play in ensuring Aragorn and the hobbits made it to Rivendell safely? Wherever they are supposed to be, I'm going to slow them down,_ I thought ruefully. They both pulled up their hoods against the rain and I proceeded to get absolutely soaked. _The gentlemanly thing to do here would be to offer me one of their cloaks,_ I grumbled to myself. _On the other hand, they didn't shoot me on sight as a trespasser and they shared their food, water and shelter with me so I suppose I shouldn't be complaining._ We walked along like this for quite some time, the twins moving soundlessly and me feeling like the proverbial bull in a china shop. Even my slippers were squishing loudly. Just when I thought I would have to figure out how to tell them I needed a rest, we broke through the trees and into a clearing. I had lost my bearings long ago and it was almost pitch dark now. I was shivering and trying very hard to keep my teeth from chattering. We stopped and I heard a half-whistle, half-chirping sound and then the clear sound of hoof beats. The elves greeted their horses and I thought: _Oh thank God!_ When I saw there were two horses. I suppose I was assuming too much when I thought I would get to ride, but luckily Elladan and Elrohir were behaving in character and they boosted me up onto one of the horses. One of them sprang up behind me (effortlessly, of course) and wrapped his cloak around me the way Glorfindel had done. I was very thankful for the warmth, though I realized it must have been like wrapping up a cold, wet, stray animal to him.

We rode off at a gallop and at some point the elf on the other horse said a few words in Elvish and rode away into the darkness. I fell asleep shortly after that and still have no idea how long we rode. I didn't dream that night thankfully, and by the time the grey sky was beginning to show signs there was a sun rising somewhere in front of us, I could hear the faint sounds of water. Soon, I could discern the faint shapes of trees and a wide, flat area opened in front of us. _The Ford of Bruinen! Finally, something recognizable._ There was an expanse of true forest on the other side of the river and I could see that the mountains were much closer even through the rain. The horse confidently walked down the bank into the river and up the opposite bank. We stopped just inside the tree line and the elf unwrapped his cloak from around me and we dismounted, well actually, he dismounted, I just kind of half-slid, half-fell off the side of the horse.

**This has been the hardest chapter for me to rewrite. It is also the longest so far. I don't know why it has been so difficult, maybe the crash interrupted my "flow" or maybe it's just writer's block. I hope the differences in style between the original chapters and the rewritten ones are not too apparent.**

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	5. My most embarrassing moment I hope

My most embarrassing moment . . . I hope by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist. **

****

Insert standard disclaimer here.

* * *

The sky was still grey, but the rain was lightening to a constant drizzle. Just enough to keep me soaked, but not enough to limit my field of vision. I walked around a bit, swinging my arms in front of me in a move reminiscent of Clark Griswold's "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is CRAZY" scene from _National Lampoon's Vacation_ to get my joints to move again. I took a moment to appraise my traveling companion while he was tending his horse:

Gorgeous . . . check.  
Long, raven hair . . . check.  
High cheekbones and chiseled features . . . check.  
Slim, toned body . . . check.  
Perfect skin . . . check.

I sighed loudly and turned away towards the river. I slipped off the water skin and wondered if he would let me wash up? "If I'm going to meet anyone important today, well I mean, more important than the Balrog-slayer himself and the sons of the Lord of Imladris, I'd like to at least not look and smell like I've been wrestling with a pig in shit." I was apparently talking softly out loud to myself, because I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to face an elf with a VERY concerned look on his face. At first, I thought he might've just thought I was nuts, then I went over what I had said. _Did I just say "balrog" and "Imladris" in the same sentence? Oops._

"Balrog?" he asked.

"Glorfindel," I replied, hoping against hope that that would make some sense to him. He raised his eyebrows in a manner that made me think of Elrond's so-called "Eyebrow of Doom" again and I smiled despite my predicament. He half-smiled back and looked at me as if I might have a balrog hidden in my pants, so I pulled out my "towel" and motioned toward the river in the hopes that it would change the subject. He nodded "yes" and, after I had gathered up all the berries I had scattered about when I pulled out the cloth and piled them in a safe place, he led me back down to a little alcove-type spot in the riverbank with a postage-stamp sized plot of sand and slowly running water.

I was pleased to see that it was enclosed from about my waist down with big rocks, at least on two sides. He walked slowly off, scanning the tree-line on both sides of the ford. I took off my shirt, hoping not to get it dripping wet and laid it on one of the rocks, then I squatted into the shallow pool. The bottom was covered in small smooth river rocks, so when my ankles gave out, I sat down in the water. I peeled off my undershirt and pants, and shoved them behind me out of the current. I grabbed my treasured cloth and started rubbing my filthy body. A few of the dirtier spots were not coming clean, so I picked up a handful of sand from the "shoreline" and rubbed it into the areas where the dirt was ground in. Soon, I discovered that most of the dirty spots were bruises in varying stages of healing. I washed my face and felt that my nose was still very sore and seemed to be slightly ajar. "GREAT! On top of everything else I broke my nose on Glorfindel's chin and now I'm going to look like Owen Wilson!"

I studiously did NOT look for my reflection in the water and went ahead and washed my pits and other unmentionables. When I was done, I rinsed my cloth really well and tossed it up on top of the rock with my shirt. Then I slipped out of my grimy slippers. I tried scraping them with my fingers, but that wasn't cutting it so I vigorously rubbed them against the nearest submerged rock. When they were as clean as they were going to get, I did the same with my pants and undershirt. I thought seriously about washing my over shirt, and pulled it down intending to just wash the cuffs, which were dirtiest. My cloth came tumbling down too and slipped into the current. I dove for it, clinging desperately to the one useful thing I had acquired so far. My clothes scattered and I scrambled to gather everything up. When I had everything clenched in my hands, I turned back toward my alcove, spotting not one, but THREE elves on the near shore staring at me. I was so stunned I tripped again and landed face-first in the little alcove.

"Fuck-fuck-fuckity-fuck-FUCK!" I muttered and hoped they wouldn't come running to see if I was ok, mercifully they didn't. Not getting my over shirt wet was now moot, so I washed it quickly and rinsed everything as well as I could. I stood with my back to where I remembered the elves to be standing and rung and twisted all the water out of my clothes. I pulled the pants back on and realized that either the fabric was stretching or I was shrinking, because the crotch was hanging about mid-thigh and they wouldn't stay on my waist. I pulled them up and tied a knot in the waistline, then I put on the undershirt and shirt and tucked the cloth into the breast pocket.

I trudged back up the shore in my squishy slippers and made my way to where the three elves were having a hushed conversation. _As if I could understand them anyway,_ I thought miserably. Naturally, they looked at me with curiosity and I nearly forgot my manners completely until each of the newcomers bowed and said, _"Mae govannen."_ I replied in kind, infinitely less gracefully, but apparently well enough for them to see that whatever fits of insanity I was prone to were transient. Introductions of a sort were made in the "me Tarzan, you Jane" style and I discovered the newcomers were named Lindir and Arwen.

My turn for the gaping fish-mouth routine . . . "Arwen?" I asked incredulously. "THE Arwen?" As if Arwen was as common a name as Mary. She smiled graciously and even appeared to blush as I tried to get my eyes back in their sockets and my mouth to close and stay that way. All the while, my previous traveling companion was gathering up his gear again. I looked to him and he gestured towards the two new elves. Arwen walked over to him and handed him a small bundle, I figured it was more trail mix and I was glad he was getting a replacement for the food and cloth he had given me. He kissed her on the forehead and they exchanged some quiet words and he hopped up on his horse disgustingly gracefully. He looked at me and smiled so I waved and said "Farewell." Arwen turned to me with a surprised look and said questioningly, "Fare-well?" Her brother grinned broadly and turned and rode off back across the ford.

I raised my eyebrows and said very slowly, "ye-ss."

"My brother said you could not understand the Common Speech." Arwen was speaking very slowly and clearly, although with a thick accent I couldn't place.

"I can't, I mean I couldn't. They were speaking so fast . . ." I trailed off. At this point I was thinking maybe the universal translator thing WAS kicking in until Lindir spoke to Arwen in Elvish and I was lost again. "I'll be damned, Westron IS English!" I exclaimed and they both looked at me again.

"You will be damned?" It was Lindir speaking now, "Why?

"It is an expression where I come from," I replied.

"You mustn't say such things! Not in these times," Arwen said.

"My apologies, I will be more careful what I say in the future."

"Please do," Arwen replied a little stiffly.

_Fan-damn-tastic! I've been in Middle Earth less than three days and I'm already making a lousy impression. Next thing you know I'll be blurting out something in the Black Speech! It's a good thing Arwen didn't inherit her grandmother's ability to read minds . . . I hope._


	6. Rivendell at LAST!

Rivendell at LAST! by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist.**

* * *

It was pretty obvious Lindir and Arwen had no intention of hanging out at the ford so I started looking around on the ground to make sure I wasn't leaving anything behind. The water skin was gone from where I had left it; I supposed it went with its owner. I found my pile of berries and although I didn't think I would be needing them anymore, my curiosity about them was piqued so I gathered them up and wrapped them in my wet "towel" and stuffed the little bundle back into my pocket. Without speaking, Arwen began walking into the forest and Lindir gestured for me to fall in behind her. My clothes were clinging to me wetly and my feet were going "squish-squish" as we entered the forest. It was only a little misty by this time and although I was moving as quietly as I could, in comparison to the elves I was tromping through the forest like a drunken dwarf. I stumbled over tree-roots and got painfully smacked in the face by low-hanging branches. Several times, Lindir had to catch me before I landed flat on my ass after tripping over something. I began to sink back into my mind, watching and listening. My brain picked these quiet, lonely times to relinquish drips and drabs of Tolkien's books. _This land is very different than how it was described in The Hobbit. This area used to be like the wasteland I was in a few days ago, when the rocky hills were still visible behind me. Bilbo described it as flat and rocky and boggy with gullies and deep ravines. Now the forest reaches almost to the very banks of the Bruinen and even to the other side. Of course, it's been something like 80 years since Bilbo traveled this way with the dwarves. I guess a lot can happen in 80 years._

I began to feel melancholy. Arwen was so beautiful and the other elves I had met so far were like Greek gods. They reminded me of the portraits of the proud Native Americans that had always adorned my childhood home. My family had a strong connection with Native Americans and one of my great-grandmothers was actually full-blooded Delaware-Cherokee. The elves' long, straight, shining hair, their strong, elegant features, their determination to do what was right and their inherent "oneness" with nature were all reminiscent of the noble tribes of the Americas. The elves' skin tone was lighter in general; however, Glorfindel definitely had a tan. Their clothing and the fact they carried swords was in contrast to what I knew of Native Americans, but their use of leather and their bows and arrows and knives (though thinner and more graceful than those of the Native Americans) cemented the connection in my mind.

Arwen was the first female I had met and her clothing was different. She wore a light dress with deep blue bodice and pale blue chiffon sleeves that flowed down her sides like an ethereal mist. Lindir was dressed much as the twins and Glorfindel, but his trousers and tunic were of a heavy green cloth and his shirt was pale green. They both wore cloaks, and swords and knives on their belts, but neither had bows or bracers. Arwen's hair was black and braided like her brothers' and her eyes were nearly violet. Lindir's hair was silver and loose and his eyes were a deep, expressive grey.

The forest around us felt young and fresh. Yellow pine needles and moss covered the ground and here and there were patches of tiny flowers where the sun probably peeked through the treetops in clear weather. Suddenly, I was aware of the sounds of wildlife. Something I hadn't heard much of since I landed in Middle Earth. There were birds flitting from tree to tree and buzzing insects. When I turned to look, they were always just on the corners of my peripheral vision, but they were there just the same. A few times I thought I caught sight of a cotton tail hopping away or heard the sound of light deer hooves bounding off. _They are probably coming to see the elves and when they see me they run away._ I thought and sighed. I didn't realize it at the time, but after three days without my Zoloft I was probably spiraling into a rebound depression. My next thoughts made me positively morose :

_I am alone. I am in a strange land in terrible times. Even though the events I have knowledge of have not yet occurred, now I realize that I will never see the Shire before it was scoured. I will never see Boromir with his father and brother in their fair city. I will never meet Frodo before he was touched by the evil blade of the Witch King. It's true that in my world, I never knew a time without war, but now, as far from home as I could possibly be, I know what I have lost because of it. I will never see the hobbits as they were before they set out on their quest. I feel in the depths of my soul the pain those tender hearts will have to bear. Even if all goes exactly as Tolkien wrote it, I'll never see this land as it once was . . . untouched by evil. The elves are already diminishing; the men of Númenór will never recover their lost grandeur. I know that Gandalf will fall in front of those who love him most. I know that Boromir will be tempted by the ring and only find his salvation in death. I know that Pippin and Merry, barely out of childhood when this adventure began, will be whipped and tortured and transformed by their ordeal. I know that Gimli will learn to love those he cannot save and fall in love with one he can never have. I know that Legolas will, before this land sees another summer, lose his peace in the land of his birth and will be tormented by it for years. I know that Éowyn and Éomer will lose both their beloved cousin and the only father they ever knew. I know that Faramir will lose his brother on a quest that should have been his own and that his father will resent him for simply surviving and then commit suicide. I know that Arwen will be forced to choose between her father and her husband. I know that Frodo and Sam will go through a greater hell than Dante could ever have dreamed and in the end, they will still be separated. I know that Aragorn, who bore the weight of his ancestors' guilt, will forever be burdened with the events of these dark days. Someday soon I'll have to face them all. Someday soon, I'll have to share my burden of knowledge with Gandalf. He'll hear my words and maybe even find hope in them, that darkness will not cover his beloved Middle Earth, but I find little gladness in it. I know that I'll meet people who will be dead before the Dark Lord is destroyed. Do I protect my heart and stay aloof, or do I embrace them with tears in my eyes and the weight of their doom on my heart? My guilt will even be worse than Aragorn's because he'll do what he has to and I must allow this evil to come to pass because I'm afraid that by attempting to change it, I would bring doom to them all._ "The curse of the Mary Sue," I mumbled softly to myself and sniffled.

Arwen stopped and turned to look at me. She saw the tears in my eyes and I looked down. We stood there in awkward silence for a few moments when my stomach growled so loudly it seemed to echo. I looked up sheepishly and Arwen grinned. Lindir snickered behind me. I was embarrassed, but thanked the Valar for breaking the tension.

"My apologies. Elrohir told me you rode all night and had not eaten. You must be tired and hungry. Let us sit and rest a while." Arwen spoke quietly and gestured for me to sit.

"Actually, I'm really quite thirsty," I replied and felt an odd sore spot on my back as I sat down._ Where the hell did THAT bruise come from? Oh shit, that's right where the water skin was resting. It must've been between me and Elrohir all night. God, that had to be _

_uncomfortable for him!_ "Arwen, what is the Elvish phrase for 'I'm sorry?' I have a feeling I'll be needing that one frequently."

"'_Amin hiraetha.'_ Why do you think you will need to apologize?" she asked as she took a bundle from the pack she had been carrying and unwrapped it.

"Oh, just a feeling I have. Please tell me you have something other than trail mix in that."

"I do not know what 'trail mix' is, but I have bread and cheese. We packed only enough for a day's journey when we received word that Elrohir was bringing you to the ford. My father, Elrond, Lord of Rivendell, is very interested in how you came to be unescorted on the road with no weapons."

"Believe me, my Lady, I'd love to know how that happened, too." She looked puzzled and handed me a piece of bread and a hunk of creamy yellow cheese.

Lindir held out a water skin to me and said, "Be careful with this, Little One. It is a very strong wine. It will strengthen you, but if you drink too much, we will have to carry you all the way to Rivendell." He had a very heavy accent and spoke more quickly than Arwen. I stared at him blankly as I tried to sort out what he'd said.

"Oh, you mean I'll get drunk?" I asked as I took the skin. "As much as I'd like to get bombed right now, I think I'll take your advice. _Hannon le._"

"You are welcome, Little One," he replied with a grin. "That is what I meant. What does 'get bombed' mean?"

"It means to get so drunk you can't remember your name or where you parked your, um, horse."

"I see. This would be desirable to you?" He was speaking slower now and with a tone similar to how a person might talk to an idiot or a child, or a child idiot.

"On second thought, no, not really," I lied as I uncorked the skin and took a small sip. "MMMmmm, this is very good. I can tell it's pretty strong." It tasted like a full-bodied red, something like a pinot noir, but I never actually saw it. I ate the proffered bread and cheese. They were soft and light although the flavor was mild and because of my broken nose I couldn't really taste it. I remembered the berries and pulled the cloth out of my pocket and unwrapped it. "Arwen, what are these and why does everybody seem to laugh when they see them?" I asked as I showed them to her.

Arwen blushed and giggled musically, but did not answer my question. Instead, she stood up and began to repack the rest of the food.

I looked at Lindir who was having trouble stifling a laugh. "Well, will YOU tell me what they are? Are they dangerous?"

"They can be, Little One. But not for you. Where did you find them?" He asked.

Arwen shot him a glance and was obviously on the verge of laughing herself silly when Lindir stood straight up with a look of complete innocence and exclaimed, "Not for ME, my Lady! I was merely asking for a . . . friend."

"Of course, Lindir." She replied and said, "We should continue our journey. I would like to make it home before supper." She turned and her shoulders shook as if she was giggling again, but I heard nothing.

I was completely confused. I put the bundle of berries back in my pocket, determined now to get an answer, and stood up, brushing crumbs off my chest. I took a final swig of the wine and handed the skin back to Lindir reluctantly. He took a surreptitious gulp and slung it back over his shoulder, looking at Arwen. "I will never hear the end of this, will I my Lady?"

"I will be the soul of discretion, Lindir," she replied and suddenly I could hear Gandalf in my mind: "Valleys have ears, and some elves have over merry tongues." I felt very sorry for Lindir, even though I had no clue why.

I looked down at the ground and saw a white, moss-covered rock near where I had been sitting. I wracked my brain to remember what the significance of the white rock was. _Come on brain! Throw me a crumb . . . crumbs? Breadcrumbs? OH! The white rocks mark the path to Rivendell! Only my brain could connect Hansel and Gretel with Middle Earth!_ I decided to keep my eyes peeled for more white stones, but I never saw another one. _Thank God Arwen and Lindir know where we're going. I would be lost in a heartbeat. Bilbo did imply that if you didn't know exactly where Rivendell was you could look forever and not find it._ Fortified by the wine and the rest, I was able to keep going. I wasn't really tired since I had slept as we rode last night, but my head still ached, my nose still throbbed and my joints and muscles constantly reminded me of what lousy shape I was in. I was getting used to the trek, though. I stumbled much less often and Lindir only had to steady me once before we finally broke through the forest and stood on the edge of a steep ridge.

"Oh, it's even more beautiful than Tolkien described it!" I gasped as I looked out over the valley of Rivendell.

"Tolkien? I do not recognize that name. Do you, Lindir?" Arwen asked.

"No, my Lady. Perhaps Lord Elrond may know it, but I have never heard him speak the name." Lindir then spoke to me, "Who is this Tolkien?"

"Um, he was a great writer where I come from. He wrote extensively about Middle Earth's peoples and history." I replied, wondering what cats I was going to have to herd back into the bag.

"Where exactly DO you come from?" Lindir asked and raised his eyebrows.

_Do all elves do that or is it specific to Rivendell elves? Now what do I say?_ I prayed for a plot bunny to jump out of nowhere and save me from the one question I had been dreading since I arrived in Middle Earth, but nothing happened and the pause was lengthening. "I would like to discuss that with Mithrandir, first. It's hard to explain and I think he's the only one who might understand. Will you accept that I come from a land very, very far away?"

"We shall have to accept it, if it is all the explanation you are willing to give," replied Arwen but then added, "but I must know for the safety of Rivendell, do your people ally themselves with any of the forces of Mordor?"

"Honestly, my Lady, as far as I know, I am the only one of my people in Middle Earth. I am most definitely not allied with the Dark Lord. If I had the weapons of my homeland, I would 'deploy, engage and destroy' him myself. As it is, I just want to live through another day."

Lindir then put his hand gently on my shoulder, I flinched because of my sunburn and he instantly took it away. "I am sorry to hear that you are alone. Your people must have been great indeed for you to believe that you could take on Sauron all by yourself." He said.

I thought about tanks and guns and ballistic missiles and replied with a touch of anger, "Great and terrible, Lindir." I looked down the ridge and said, "Am I going to be able to get down there?" hoping to change the subject.

"You will as long as you stay between us," Arwen replied lightly. I could tell she sensed my unease.

I took one last, long look at the valley. The sun had finally broken through the clouds; even though it was now well past noon, the valley was bathed in light. A stream meandered along far below me. The trees were green and the air felt as fresh as spring though I knew it had to be fall. There were glades of lush grass and wildflowers and paths of white running in all directions. Arwen began the long zig-zag path and I followed her with Lindir behind me as before. As we descended, the air began to feel warmer. Although I kept my head down most of the way to keep from falling, I noticed the pine forest we had been walking through gave way to hardwoods at the lower elevations. The sun began slipping behind the ridge and the near end of the valley was falling into dusk as we reached the bottom. There was a lovely wooden bridge spanning the stream I had seen from on top of the ridge and wildflowers of every color were closing their petals for the night. I found myself listening to the trees singing . . . _Don't be silly. You can't hear trees, that must be elves!_ As I thought this, I looked out onto the field we had come to and saw a gathering of elves nearby.

"Would you like to rest here while I speak with my kinsmen?" Arwen asked.

"Yes, thank you," I replied and sat down right where I was. Lindir offered me the wineskin again and I took a couple sips and handed it back to him. He watched me closely until I finished, then he took a sip himself, corked it and walked over to the group of elves.

_He has no intention of carrying me and I don't blame him._ I lay down on the soft grass intending to watch the clouds and quickly fell asleep.


	7. My ACTUAL most embarrassing moment

The ACTUAL most embarrassing moment of my life by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist.**

* * *

I don't know whether or not I dreamt, but when I awoke I had the awful feeling I was late. I jumped to my feet, still bleary-eyed and confused the way only catnaps can make you and Arwen was standing in front of me, startled.

"What time is it? I'm late for PT formation!" I shouted. Then it all came back, the reason I didn't hear my alarm was because I was in Rivendell. I don't have PT this morning because it isn't morning and Arwen Undómiel is NOT a PT instructor. I tried to shake the cobwebs out of my head and stumbled.

Arwen reached out to steady me, "'PT formation?' You have been dreaming. I do not think the time matters, only that we have arrived before dinner."

"Oh, right. Thanks. How long was I sleeping? Where did Lindir go?"

"Only a few moments. Lindir went with the others to the house. He will tell my father that we have returned."

"Arwen, what day is it?"

"October the twelfth. The year three thousand-eighteen of the Third Age, to be precise," she replied as if she thought I was joking.

"My God! It was still August when I left my home! What the hell happened to September?" I exclaimed, stunned. _And what happens if Aunt Flo comes to visit?! I need to learn a lot and learn it fast!_ I decided not to even THINK about what happened to the year 2006.

We began walking towards the bridge and I could hear the gurgling of the stream. "What you say makes little sense," Arwen spoke again, "You have said that you come from a land far from here, yet you have only been traveling a month. However, you are obviously not of any of the lands that I know to be within a month's walk of here. Your clothing does not appear to be strong enough to withstand a journey of any length; it looks more like something one might wear to bed." She paused a moment, then asked pointedly, "How long have you been walking? Were you attacked? Were your horse and belongings stolen?"

"This is something I will have to discuss with Mithrandir, Arwen. But to my knowledge, I was in my own room less than five days ago. I have not been attacked; my things have not been stolen. This is all I had on me when I left, except for a gold necklace with a cross on it that's gone," I sighed. "It doesn't make any sense to me, either." I felt my neck where my necklace always was. I never took it off and wondered why it would be the only thing I was wearing that didn't come with me.

"Father may be able to help you understand. He would like for you to join us at his table tonight, you can discuss it with him then, if you would like."

"Yes, that's a good idea." Then I had a thought, "Will I be able to clean up and change before dinner?" I certainly didn't want to meet the Lord of the Last Homely House in my pjs and a day's worth of sweat. We were crossing the bridge; it was narrow and made of white stone. It looked a little long for the small stream it was built over.

"Of course!" Arwen replied and the next thing she said made me wonder if maybe she _could_ read my mind, "the stream is shallower and slower than in the early summer. The snows on the mountains have stopped melting and will soon begin building again." And just as I was relaxing a bit over my appearance, she added, "Oh, but Father wants to have a look at your nose before you go to your room to change."

_Oh no! I AM going to have to meet Elrond looking like this! Hey, what does she mean, 'have a look at my nose?!'_ Just as I was about to voice my concerns, we arrived at the foot of a wide stone staircase leading up to a beautiful house. Elrond was standing at the top of the steps with his arms outstretched. He was wearing a glorious floor-length robe of blue velvet with silver threads woven in intricate patterns. The cuffs, neckline and hem were embroidered with blue and white jewels. His hair was as black and shining as his children's and braided in a similar fashion, one small braid over each ear pulled to the back. His eyes twinkled violet like Arwen's in the lamplight of the house.

Arwen ascended the steps gracefully like a royal gazelle and embraced her father warmly. "Ada! You behave as if I have been gone more than one day!"

"These are dangerous times, my daughter. I am concerned for all my children. Lindir told me you spoke to Elrohir at the ford and that he reported that Elladan was also well," then his tone turned grave, "but I have had no news of Estel, I am worried."

"Estel will be fine, Ada. You will see," she replied in a manner that would brook no argument.

I had been climbing the short stair during this discussion and had just reached the top when Arwen turned to me. _How the hell do you greet a Lord of the Eldar?!_

"Father, this is . . ." but before Arwen could finish the introduction I panicked and fell on one knee with my head bowed.

"My Lord Elrond, it is an honor to meet you," I said to the white stone porch.

"I do not believe I have been addressed so elegantly in ages!" Elrond laughed. "My, you are a polite one."

I blushed furiously, and felt his hand under my chin, gently pulling me up. Then I was standing in front of Elrond, my chin in his hand.  
"Now, let's have a look at you. I understand you did this on Glorfindel's chin?" He said as he turned my head from side to side, examining my face. I saw his other hand pass in front of my eyes and then, quick as lightning Elrond grabbed my nose between his strong fingers and yanked it straight.

And then it happened . . . between the sickening crunch and the blinding pain I opened my mouth to scream but instead, I threw up. I would love to say that I threw up in front of Elrond; I would even like to tell you that I threw up on his shoes, but no . . . I threw up tiny bits of dried fruit and nuts, bread and cheese and red wine (hey, apparently it WAS red) all down the front of Lord Elrond's beautiful velvet robe. I grabbed my face and fell to my knees with my forehead on the floor between his feet. There was probably bits of vomit falling off his robe onto the back of my head, but all I could feel was the pain in my nose and the reeling of my stomach. I had my eyes squeezed shut, but I could feel tears and blood and bile streaming down my face. There I was, big, bad sergeant in the United States Army laying prostrate and crying in a pool of blood, puke and tears over a little nosebleed. I was mortified. Then Elrond said the only thing that could have made it worse . . . HE apologized to ME!

"Oh, my child! I am so very sorry," he said as he swept me up into his arms. "I should have realized you were too weak from your travels to be able to withstand that. I simply did not want you to have to anticipate me resetting your nose. It would have healed quite badly if I had not." He carried me carefully; my face pressed to his vomit-soaked chest, down a short hall into a room with a bed and laid me down on top of the bedspread. Arwen was already in the room on the other side of the bed, and she immediately used her fingers to gently keep pressure on the bridge of my nose. I tried to sit up, to keep from messing up the bed, but she held me down and spoke soothingly in Elvish. Various elves brought clean white towels and filled a basin on the nightstand with water. Another elf stripped Elrond of his soiled robe and helped him roll up the sleeves of his crisp white linen shirt. Elrond and Arwen worked together quickly with the precision of a pair of army medics who had been through many battles together. While Arwen kept my head tilted back and held the bridge of my nose, Elrond took narrow strips of what felt like gauze bandages and pushed them carefully into each of my nostrils. I fought to keep the blood that ran down the back of my throat from coming back up and gritted my teeth. It felt like an eternity had passed before they were finished but the blood and vomit had barely started to dry on my face.

"There. I have instructed the healers to make up a tonic for the pain. You will sleep comfortably tonight. Shall I assume you will not be joining us for dinner?" Elrond asked in a sweet, soothing voice that sounded confident, sympathetic and a little amused all at the same time.

"Thag you, by Lord. I thig I'll just stay here. I'b dot bery hungry right dow. I'b so sorry about your robe," I replied, fighting the urge to start crying again. Elrond spoke a few words in Elvish to Arwen, who was gently cleaning my face and neck with a wet cloth.

"Not to worry, Little One. It was not my favorite. It itched terribly. Good night, you will feel better in the morning," he said and left the room.

"Father is going to change for dinner. He will check on you again before he retires," Arwen said quietly. Just then, another elf came in with a china cup and saucer. I sat up just a little and Arwen took the cup and offered it to me. "Drink this, you will feel much better, soon."

I drank the potion and closed my eyes. I briefly thought that I would never be able to sleep on my back in a semi-sitting position with my mouth open, when Arwen began to sing softly. She took the cup from me, helped me out of my overshirt and covered me with a light blanket. The last thing I remembered was the image of white clouds and the feeling of a cool summer breeze against my face. I didn't even wake up when Elrond came to check on me.


	8. Another myth BUSTED

Cats have Elves? - Or - Elves don't get dirty? Another myth BUSTED! by Elaura

**Author's Notes: To my readers, please go back and read the previous chapter, the update is there! Just as I was rewriting the story, a whole complete chapter just slipped my mind :( Thanks so much to eiluj for jolting my memory that there should be a chapter in between with the review!**

IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist.

* * *

The next day I awoke and lay still with my eyes closed for a while. I could see through my eyelids that the sun was bright. I pondered the events of my recent life, from what happened last night, backward through the last few days. I knew instantly that it hadn't been a dream. There was light and a breeze; my barracks room windows were always shut and the heavy curtains were always closed because I worked night shift. I could hear the sweet song of birds, but no annoying alarm clock was beeping at me and I couldn't hear the normally ever-present clanking of the flagpoles outside. The bed was soft and smaller than the two hard twin beds I had pushed together in my room in Okinawa to make one king-sized bed. The pillows and linens were impossibly light and silky smooth, very unlike the crappy stuff I bought at the PX. There was no doubt I was NOT in my barracks. I'd slept very well. No dreams that I could remember, but I began to realize whatever tonic I drank last night had worn off. I'd gotten used to the tiny dwarves mining their tunnels through my skull, but this morning they were joined by cave trolls pounding Grond against my sinuses. I heard Sean Bean in my head: _"They have a cave troll."_ I counted ten thumps and decided I should probably get my day started before they managed to break though the front of my face like the nasty critter in the movie _Alien_. I slowly opened my eyes and was staring at an ornate ceiling. It was painted and carved in shapes of planets and stars, the sun and the moon, clouds and birds. The foot of the bed was made of a light wood, also carved in intricate patterns. I peeked under the coverlet to see what I was wearing. I still had on my dirty undershirt and pj bottoms. I wiggled my toes to see if I was wearing my slippers, I wasn't, and my calves burned. In fact, as I gingerly shifted, I found that my entire body was really fucking sore. I closed my eyes again, hoping to sleep a little while longer, but after a few minutes of listening to the orcs in my head chanting "Grond" I thought _There's nothing for it, just get up and get clean . . . you're going to be in pain either way so just get on with it._ I sat up slowly and swung my legs over the side of the bed towards the window. I hurt worse than I ever had, even in Basic Training. Even my breasts were sore. Not surprising, really, I had been walking and riding with no bra for five days.

The window had white gauzy sheers flowing like mist in a warm fall breeze. Through the window I could see green grass and white paths and the occasional Greco-Roman lawn statue. Well, probably not Greco-Roman, but that's the style anyway. In truth, Michelangelo would have looked like an amateur next to the Elven artists who decorated this valley. There were birds of every conceivable color, in the trees and on the ground. I noticed one pretty little peacock strutting by in shades of pink and red. _Hm. I wonder if the flamingos are blue and green, then?_ Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a fluffy white tail twitching lazily on a nearby stone bench. I stood carefully and leaned on the low windowsill. "A cat!" I whispered, stunned. "There are cats in Middle Earth?" It apparently heard me; it stood and walked to the near end of the bench so that I could bask in its grandeur, the way all cats do. It had long, snow white fur, pink ears and nose and deep green eyes. It stretched and lay back down looking regal and bored. "Elves have cats? Who knew?" I muttered and then realized it's more likely that the cats have elves.

I turned away from the window and scanned the room. It was bigger than my barracks room and was separated by the simple furnishings into three distinct areas: the bed, the sitting area and the writing area. Three walls were half paneled with the same light wood of the bed and the fourth was fully paneled, this was the one behind the headboard. There was a desk and small chair pushed against the wall opposite the window and at the foot of the bed was a small wooden chest. There was a tall table with one shelf between its legs to my right against the wall. It had a large white ceramic basin and pitcher on it and a mirror hung above it; I deliberately did NOT look into the mirror. The headboard of the bed was also against this wall; the nightstand next to it on the opposite side from where I stood. To my left were a small fireplace and two high-backed chairs with thick, pale-grey velvet upholstery. There was plenty of room to walk between the areas and as I was strolling around I noted that on the chest was a pile of clean white towels, on the desk was a quill pen, ink pot, a stack of parchment and a candle and on the nightstand was a small china teapot and matching cup and saucer. "Royal Doulton with hand-painted periwinkles," I muttered, thinking of Hyacinth Bucket. _"Bouquet, Bouquet,"_ she said in my head. I poured a cup of what looked like tea and thought I would rather have had a beaker of coffee, thank you very much. I sipped the tea and went back around the foot of the bed gathering up a towel as I went. As I expected, the pitcher was full of clean water so I filled the basin and set the pitcher on the shelf underneath. I laid the towel on the bed and sat sipping my tea, gathering my strength for what I knew had to come next.

"I don't WANT to! You can't make me!" I said to myself.

"You have to. You have to do it eventually, why put it off?"

"But they're all so gorgeous! I don't want to know! It's better not knowing."

"Your imagination is worse than reality. Anyway, you can't do anything about it if you don't at least look."

"I hate you."

"I know."

As my internal dialog came to a close, the tea, which was apparently another tonic, had the effect of taking the edge off the pain in my body, though my face was still pounding. I finished off what was left in my cup and put it back on the saucer on the bed. I picked up the towel and stood directly in front of the mirror with my eyes cast down. Slowly I lifted my gaze; what I saw was nothing short of monstrous. "ARGH! You said my imagination was worse than reality! You lied to me you bitch!" I shouted at my reflection. I've never been vain, I've never had a reason to be, but I looked so bad I nearly burst into tears. I didn't want to cry again, because with my nose plugged it made me feel like I was suffocating, so I fought back the tears and took grim stock of myself. My hair had mostly pulled out of the ponytail and it was sticking out all over with twigs and spider webs and pieces of dried gunk that made my stomach lurch again. My forehead was burned to a bright pink and had dirt swirled in patterns that resembled waves. My eyes were black and my nose was three times its normal size and a lovely shade of purple. There was blood and dirt in every wrinkle making me look much older than 36. I had scratches here and there and my cheeks, chin and neck were also bright pink and smeared with dirt. My lips were cracked with scabby patches. I sighed loudly and wet a corner of the towel. I started wiping my forehead and did my best to use enough pressure to get the dirt off, but not so much as to be painful on my sunburn. I continued this, gritting my teeth against the pain, turning the towel and rinsing it until I'd finally sorted out what was dirt and what was bruise. I pulled out the remains of the ponytail and ran the wet towel over my hair, wiping off the gunk and spider webs and picking out as many twigs as I could. Then I washed my hands and ran them over my hair to slick it back. Lastly, I dipped a clean corner of the towel into the water left in the pitcher and wrapped it around my finger. I scrubbed the fur off my teeth and tongue and sucked the water out of the towel, swirled it around my mouth and spit into the basin. I could still taste the sour bile mixed with blood and poured some more clean water into my teacup and swished it around my mouth and spit again.

Just then there was a quiet knock on the door. I turned toward it and said, "Come in," hoping it would be Arwen. A female elf I didn't recognize came in carrying a bundle of what looked like clothing and had a pair of pale green slippers on top. _Of course the Lady of Imladris has better things to do than wait on a stray Adaneth that followed her home. "Mae govannen,"_ I said to her and bowed slightly.

"_Aur maer,"_ she replied and set her bundle on the desk beside the door.

I walked over to the bundle and fingered through it. _"Hannon le,"_ I said and smiled at her. There was a matching pale green dress under the slippers and a couple of other pieces of clothing I couldn't readily identify. I looked at the elf and asked, "Do you have a latrine?" She looked at me puzzled. _Duh! Even if she does know the common speech, she isn't going to know military jargon._ I tried again, "a bathroom?"

She smiled and nodded "yes." I looked down at my pjs and really didn't want to put a clean dress over my dirty body. "Do you have a robe I could put on?"

She smiled again and pulled a light grey cloak from the bottom of the bundle and handed it to me. "Wonderful! _Hannon le!_" I said and put it on over my pjs. I looked around for my slippers and found them tucked neatly under the foot of the bed. I also spotted my nasty over shirt crumpled up next to them and carefully pulled it out. I took the bundle of berries out of the pocket and set them on the night stand. I then walked over to the basin and dropped the shirt in it, intending to wash it later. I slipped on my slippers, picked up the bundle of clothing and a towel and pulled the hood of the cloak over my head and looked to the elf, "Lead on, O kinky turtle!" I said.

She turned and I followed her out into the hallway, keeping my head down so my face would be hidden. I shuffled along behind her, not paying much attention to the architecture, just trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. We didn't pass anyone actually, but I wasn't taking any chances. I guess I was expecting to be taken to some sort of communal outdoor bath house, something like what you would find at a campground, but the bathroom she led me to was quite different. She opened a door in the middle of a hallway. It led into a steamy room tiled in white marble. There were several sinks against the far wall with stone benches in front of them and mirrors over them. In the middle of the room was a shallow tub built into the floor. It was round like a three or four-person hot tub and from the steam rising off the surface it looked to be quite warm. There was another door to the left and the ceiling was open to the sky. I looked around for a toilet, I knew as soon as I got in that warm water I wouldn't be able to hold it and I wasn't about to pee in someone else's bathtub. I didn't see one and turned to my escort, "Toilet?" I asked. She gave me another confused look; she seemed to be good at that. "Commode? WC? Loo? Crapper?" Nothing. _God! Two places in the universe with no toilets: Middle Earth and Starfleet!_ Just as I was beginning to think elves didn't pee, I made a charade of squatting and I could see the light bulb go on over her head. She grinned broadly and led me through the door on the left. She closed the door behind me and I was facing something I never expected: a toilet. I don't know why I'd imagined that a race of intelligent beings who had been around for thousands upon thousands of years would not have eventually invented indoor plumbing, but I was amazed, nonetheless. _Good grief! Give them some credit! After all, even Ancient Rome had indoor plumbing!_ It was higher and of a slightly different shape than I was used to, but it was made of glazed porcelain or ceramic and looked very much like a normal toilet. There was no tank that I could see, but there was a golden chain hanging nearby. I turned around and did what people normally do in bathrooms. The room was the same white marble and in a corner was a little table with something else I never expected: toilet paper. I leaned forward and took a few pieces off the top of the stack. It was grey and not exactly paper. It was more like tightly woven spider's silk cut in rectangles and folded into squares. I finished my business and used the "tp" for its intended purpose, then stood up, pulled up my pjs and turned around. _I've gotta see this!_ I pulled the chain, hoping it wasn't actually some sort of bell or gong. Green water swirled into the bowl and as soon as it touched the "paper" the little squares dissolved; then it all swirled out of a hole in the bottom of the bowl and was gone. I left the room and went back to the bath.

The elf was gone, so I stripped and slipped into the water. The hot water burned every scratch and was a tiny bit too warm on my sunburn, but I adjusted and leaned back. "Ooohhh, this is nice." For the first time since I'd found myself in Middle Earth I felt good. Just when I was thinking life couldn't get any better than this, the elf lady returned carrying a basket. As I've said before, I'm not terribly modest so I didn't even try to cover myself. She set the basket on a nearby bench and dropped something that looked like a pomander into the water. Instantly the water turned a deep aqua and I could almost taste Spring in the air. I had always assumed you had to be able to smell to get the effects of aromatherapy, but my muscles stopped aching and my skin tingled. Then she produced a cake of soap and a washcloth. I took them from her and stared at the soap in amazement.

"You do not have soap where you come from?" she asked, speaking to me for the first time.

"We do, I just didn't expect elves to have it," I replied honestly.

"It is a common misconception among the other races that the Eldar do not get dirty. As a matter of fact, we do get dirty and often come home at the end of the day smelling of sweat. What you do not realize is that we take cleansing oils and those cloths you found in the other room everywhere we go. We all have our favorite mixtures; did you not notice the scents?" Then she looked at my nose sympathetically and added, "No, I suppose you have not been able to smell anything since that happened."

"No, not much," I admitted. "Do you have anything I can wash my hair with in that basket?"

"Feel free to use the soap in your hand." She held up a lovely little glass vial, "This is for afterwards. Use this on your hair after your bath, before you braid it. There are other things here you might find useful. I will return when you are finished and take you to the kitchen to get something to eat. Please, take your time, _mellon nín._" She picked up the basket and set it on the floor next to my head and turned to leave.

"_Hannon le,"_ I sighed happily to her back. I marveled at her use of the phrase "my friend" as I rummaged through the basket. " 'Useful' she said, GLORIOUS is what I say!" I said to myself as I realized what was in that basket. There was a lovely carved wooden comb, an ivory handled toothbrush with what looked to be natural bristles, various vials and jars. I opened one and it looked like paste, I tasted it and it was minty! "Toothpaste!" I said with delight. I opened another jar and it had a soft, fluffy fur-ball and underneath it was silky powder. On the bottom of the basket was a little metal nail file with a point on one end. This last item brought tears to my eyes. I won't bore you with the details of my bath, but believe me, I DID take my time!

* * *

**Am I Right Copyright 2000-2006. by Charles R. Grosvenor Jr.**

**Elvish Translations:  
**_**Mae govannen**_** - Well met  
**_**Hannon le**_** - Thank you  
there is some confusion about the usage of **_**Hannon le.**_** It is a Sindarin phrase and although some scholars of Elvish believe it should be **_**Le hannon,**_** I have left it the way it is used in the movie.  
**_**Aur maer**_** - Good morning  
**_**mellon nín**_** - my friend **

Thanks eiluj for correcting this for me!

**Please note the Elvish phrases are translated at the end of the chapter. Although it's likely most elves in this time period converse in Sindarin, Tolkien did not provide a great deal of Sindarin words in his writings. The Elvish I use is from various websites and has been expanded upon with Quenya and there may be terms from the movies, videogames and other fantasy sources. I do not claim accuracy; it's just a story after all.**


	9. Meeting Bilbo Baggins

Meeting Bilbo Baggins - Or - The Berries Explained! by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist.**

* * *

As I bathed, I noticed there was more heat near the bottom of the tub indicating an under-floor heat source. Eventually, the heat at the bottom was no more than the rest of the tub and then the water started to cool. _Very nice way of saying "If you stay in there much longer, you're going to come out a raisin!" Elves are so polite and subtle. They remind me of the Japanese._ I looked at my hands and they were getting pruny, so I rinsed off and got out of the tub. I wrapped myself up in a towel, picked up the basket and took it over to the benches by the sinks. The sinks were porcelain like the toilet and each one was set in a free-standing cabinet. There was one golden faucet for each basin and they came out of the wall under the gilt-framed oval mirrors. I had washed my face in the tub, so the only thing I needed water for now was to brush my teeth. I considered the environmental concerns of a valley, because my mind was very relaxed and I felt a little high. _I don't suppose they are too worried about water conservation, but on the other hand, where does the sewerage go? Maybe it's magic? That would be a use for Vilya the fangirls never thought of . . . sewer treatment._ I giggled at that thought. I knew then that there HAD to be something in that pomander, because I hadn't giggled since I was in grade school. I rooted through the basket for the toothpaste and toothbrush and wondered idly if I was going to get the munchies, too. I put a little paste on the brush and ran a tiny bit of water over the brush. It felt wonderful to finally clean my teeth! When I was done, I rinsed my mouth well and then absently wiped down the sink and faucet. _I guess some army training never really leaves you._ I dried my toothbrush and put it and the paste back in the basket.

Next I took out the powder and puffed it all over; I wished I could smell it. Then I pulled out the small glass vial and comb. The vial was lovely, it looked like it may have been lead crystal and it had a single Elvish rune carved into it. I uncorked it and since it was a small container and probably wouldn't take much, let a single drop fall into the palm of my hand; it had the consistency of syrup. I rubbed my hands together and ran my fingers through my hair, expecting them to get caught in snarls and mats. They went through like it had never been tangled in my life. _Ancient Elven Secret,_ I thought and went ahead and combed it, although I really didn't need to. I had a mental picture of what Elrond or Lindir might look like without this little hair-care product and began giggling again. I searched through the basket for something to put my hair up with. I found a long, pale-green satin ribbon that matched my dress, but there were no hairpins or ponytail holders. I'd never been very good with my hair, usually settling for a ponytail or a bun or even a French twist for special occasions. I sat there struggling to tie back my hair which was now way too soft and silky to hold the ribbon. Just as I began to get angry, my elven escort returned.

"Your arms and shoulders must still be very sore, would you mind if I braided your hair for you?" she asked.

"Oh, yes please; thank you," I replied, very grateful that she'd given me an out and I didn't have to explain that I couldn't do my own hair. She worked swiftly and before long I had a small braid over each of my ears joined with the rest of my hair in a large complicated plait down the middle of my back. Even the braid felt soft against my bare skin. She had woven the ribbon into the plait and tied the ends around the tip. "Thank you again," I said when she finished. I walked over to the folded pile of clothes I had set on the bench by the tub and set the slippers on the floor at my feet. They were made of pale green silk in the style of ballet slippers. They fit me perfectly and I was amazed. I couldn't imagine an elf female with size 11 feet. I then picked up the dress and turned it over in my hands looking for a way to get in it.

The elf stepped closer and as she helped me figure out which end of the dress was up she spoke, "You do not appear to be familiar with our style of dress. What do you wear in your homeland? If you can describe it to our tailors, we could have something made for you that might be more comfortable."

"Actually, the women where I come from dress in trousers and shirts similar to the men. Well, not exactly like the men, except in uniform."

"Oh, are you a warrior of your people?"

"Yes, although I'd be pretty useless in a swordfight. I was more of a messenger in my country's army," I replied, not wanting to go into the fine points of the Signal Corps if I could avoid it.

"We have female warriors as well, but they wear dresses at home. You do not have to dress as we do however, no one will think ill of you."

"Thank you, _mellon nín,_ but I think I should wait to see if Lord Elrond will let me stay in Rivendell before I make plans for a larger wardrobe." She had that puzzled look again and I hoped that it was a "why wouldn't he let you stay?" look rather than a "what the hell is a 'wardrobe'?" look. She laced up the bodice and I was surprised to find that it supported my breasts very comfortably. Then she led me over to the mirror to look. The shoes made my big feet look tiny and the floor-length dress was fully-lined (thank God, since I was apparently expected to go commando), pale-green silk. The bodice was a darker green and heavier weight silk. The long sleeves flowed down my sides like chiffon, just like Arwen's pale blue dress from yesterday.

I saw that the skin of my upper chest and neck had gone from pink to brown during my bath and the bright pink on my face had faded a good deal as well. I guess it was too much to hope that the bruises would magically disappear though. I had been smiling until I saw the dark purple discoloration and my companion apparently noticed when my face fell. She said gently, "Lord Elrond made sure it would heal straight, do not worry."

I realized what an ingrate I was being and replied quickly, "Oh, I'm sorry. The clothes are absolutely beautiful, thank you very, very much. I have complete faith in Lord Elrond. I'll be good as new soon, I'm sure of it." I turned with a smile that I hoped she couldn't tell was only half-hearted and picked up my cloak and put it on.

As I pulled up the hood, my elven guide inquired, "Are you cold?"

"Yes, a bit," I lied. I gathered up my dirty clothes and wrapped them in a wet towel. Then I picked up the basket and the bundle.

"Oh, you may leave those here," she gestured to the clothes. "They will be laundered and returned to your room. The basket will also be returned for you. Now it is time for you to eat, it is well past time for the mid-day meal and you have not had breakfast either. You must be famished."

Of course at the mention of food my ever-vocal stomach growled and it actually DID echo in the marble-tiled room. I couldn't help but laugh. My escort laughed too in the sweet musical tones I'd come to associate with the elves. Their laughter was always merry and lacked any hint of derision. It never felt like they were laughing at me out of meanness even when they were definitely laughing at me. In this way, the elves reminded me of the Asian people I had met while I was stationed in Korea and Okinawa. Often I found that when I would trip or drop something, they would cover their mouths and giggle, not out of malice, but in a way that said: "Yes, isn't that silly! We all do things like that, don't we?"

She led me out of the bathroom without another word and we walked down the hall. I stayed between her and the wall and continued to keep my head down and my face covered. Soon, we turned a corner and came to a door. She opened it and let me enter in front of her. It was a big room with several huge stone wood stoves on the far end. Against the walls were floor to ceiling cabinets and pantries. There was an enormous rectangular table in the middle with wooden benches along both sides. Sitting on a pile of cushions on the wooden bench half-way down the table was a very small person with very hairy feet. In front of him was a plate of biscuits, a mug of something frothy and a parchment. He had a quill in his hand and an inkpot nearby. Although he didn't look up when we entered, there was no doubt in my mind who he was: Bilbo Baggins!

"Master Baggins, I would have brought you a plate of biscuits if you had rung for me," The elf lady said to him in a motherly tone.

"Of course you would, my dear! Of course you would. I may be older than when first I came to Rivendell, but I am not an invalid yet. You would have brought me tea instead of ale though, I know it! Besides, you seem to have your hands full at the moment," he said looking at me. "Who is this, now?"

"Oh! Master Baggins! What an honor it is to meet you!" I exclaimed not waiting for the introduction.

He motioned for me to sit across from him, "Have a seat and share my biscuits with me. There's enough ale for the both of us as well, I'd warrant. Have you been on any adventures?"

"I think I could say yes I have. But in truth I don't know when my normal life ended and where my adventure began," I replied. The lady elf busied herself with bringing plates and mugs and biscuits and ale to the table.

"Begin at the beginning; that is always the best place to start." Bilbo pushed his parchment aside and looked at my hood. "Is there a face under that hood? I'd like to see who I'm talking to."

I slowly pushed my hood back, bracing myself against a horrified look or worse, pity.

"Good heavens!" He laughed. "If I had a gold coin for every elf I've seen around here with a nose like yours I'd be sitting on a pile bigger than old Smaug's! I think Elrond spends most of his time resetting the noses of young warriors who get a little overzealous on the training field. They swear they don't deliberately aim at each other's faces, but don't you believe them!"

I grinned and relaxed, suddenly I didn't care about my nose anymore. _I guess Orlando Bloom was well cast, considering he's broken more bones than you can shake a stick at, INCLUDING his nose._

"Now, who have you been sparring with, my girl?"

"Actually, Glorfindel . . ." I began and Bilbo cut me off.

"Don't tell me you've been fighting with THAT one! You must be quite a warrior to take HIM on."

"Well, um no. Actually, I was sleeping by the river, or rather, IN the river when Glorfindel found me. When I woke up, he was leaning over me and I sat up too fast and smashed my nose into his chin."

"In the river? What a remarkable place to sleep. Not surprising you broke your nose on HIS chin; he's got a very hard head in more ways than one, if you get my meaning."

The elf set a fine table of fresh fruits and berries, biscuits, bread and ale. I was surprised to see that she even had a mug herself. She sat with us and watched Bilbo as a niece would watch a favorite great uncle. His mug never emptied and before he finished his last biscuit, his plate was full again.

I sampled a bit of everything as we chatted about my adventures and I found the ale to be very smooth. Although I couldn't really taste much, my stomach was filling nicely and I was enjoying Bilbo's company very much. Then I spied a blackberry and had a thought. "Master Baggins, may I ask you a question?"

"Only if you stop all that 'Master Baggins' nonsense. Bilbo has always been good enough for me and I'll not go putting on airs now."

"Of course, Bilbo. Well, when I was on the east road I found some berries and whenever I offer them to an elf, they either laugh or blush. Could you tell me what they are?"

"I will if you describe them to me. I know just about every plant that grows between here and the Shire. What do they look like?"

"They're sectioned like a blackberry or a raspberry. They grow on a vine like a blackberry, too."

"Tell me, what do they taste like?"

"Well, they taste green not unripe, but like a green apple without the apple. It's hard to describe."

He got a very sly look on his face and asked, "Did the leaves have bright yellow veins?" He had a distinct twinkle in his eyes too.

"Come to think of it, they did! What in the world are they, Bilbo?"

He laughed heartily. "Those, dear girl, are an old remedy for an even older malady! I had no idea elves even knew about them. You see, when a mature male hobbit begins to, shall we say, slow down in the bedroom, his wife finds this berry and makes a sweet jam out of it. He eats it on toast and Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has no more problems with his candlestick!" He laughed himself nearly silly at that and the lady elf blushed furiously.

I broke out in an all-out, gut-busting belly laugh! "VIAGRA!" I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. Between gulps for air I managed to sputter, "No WONDER!" I made a mental note to give the rest of the berries to Lindir, but I did not breathe a word of it.

"Who did you offer them to?" Bilbo asked, still laughing.

"Glorfindel, Elladan and Elrohir and Arwen and Lindir. The males all laughed or looked at me strangely and Arwen blushed."

"Arwen! Now that's a laugh and no mistake! Maybe if she'd spent more time with her brothers growing up she might not be so shy now. I'll bet she DID blush!"

By the time we finished laughing, Bilbo was beginning to get tired. I made a show of straightening up and stretching and then barely stifled a yawn. "Thank you for the excellent company, Bilbo, but I am still a little road weary. Do you mind if we continue this another time?"

"I think I'd like that very much. I haven't laughed this much since the last time Gandalf came to visit. I was just thinking about taking a nap, myself. Would you two lovely ladies care to walk me back to my room?"

"I'd love to!" I said as I stood and helped the elf clear the table. Bilbo gathered up his things and made his way to the door just as we finished. We followed him into the hall and walked on either side of him the short way to his door. It was made of a lighter wood, both in color and in weight and it was round with a knob low to the floor and right in the middle. _They are making him as comfortable as possible._

"Have a good nap, my dear," he said as he smiled and closed the door behind him.

We turned and continued to walk towards my room. I'd left my hood down and must have been smiling because we passed several elves in the hall and they all smiled and greeted us. When we reached my door, my elven companion smiled at me and asked, "You are not really tired are you?"

"Not really, but I think I'd like to rest a while anyway. Oh, if you happen to see Lindir, would you tell him I would like to talk with him when he has a moment?

"Of course. I will come back before dinner. Would you like to eat at Lord Elrond's table tonight? No offense will be taken if you would rather take your evening meal in your room or in the kitchen. You are still injured and need your rest."

"I think perhaps I will eat in my room tonight. I'm still not feeling up to meeting a lot of people yet. You're sure it's ok?"

"Of course, _mellon_. Rest well," she said and left me at my door.


	10. Lindir and Erestor

Lindir and Erestor by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**This is another two chapters combined. I like Lindir and decided to make him a bigger part of the story earlier on than in the first version. My previous audience also might notice my character is becoming more comfortable with her surroundings and is a little less suspicious this time through. Can't be helped, hope it doesn't ruin it for any of you. **

**And thanks to all my reviewers for your kind words! I'm trying as hard as possible to reach where I left off before the great crash, but this update speed will last only 'til wednesday 'cos I'm going back to work after being on sick leave **

**IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist.**

* * *

As I watched my Elven escort walk away, I actually saw her for the first time. I'd been so caught up in myself I hadn't even taken the time to really look at her. She wore a simple beige linen dress with no ornament. Her bodice was a deep chocolate and laced up the front with matching ribbon like mine. Her hair was a darker, browner blonde than Glorfindel's and it was braided very much like she had braided mine. I tried to remember the color of her eyes and realized I hadn't ever looked her in the eye. _That's awfully shifty of me, not looking people in the eye. I'm going to have to fix that._ I've always done for myself and never had servants, but in literature and movies I noticed the best and most experienced "home management personnel" prided themselves on being unnoticed. Personally, the concept of servants has never really set well with me. In any case, it was becoming obvious to me that there were a lot of elves behind the scenes in the Last Homely House and my companion was probably one of them.

I turned and reached for my doorknob. The door was a heavy wood, dark in contrast to the white walls of the hall. It was intricately carved, as was just about everything else, in patterns of vines and flowers, trees and leaves. The hardware was golden; I say golden but most probably really made of gold, although I couldn't think of what they mixed it with to make it strong enough for plumbing, hinges and doorknobs. I thought it was not likely to be plate, since I knew this house had been here for ages and there was no sign of wear. I opened the door and stepped into my room. I saw immediately that the bed had been changed and made. The basket of goodies was on the floor next to the desk to my left. The desk was just as I'd left it and the teapot, cup and saucer were back on the nightstand again. I walked around past the fireplace and chairs and saw my pajamas neatly folded on the chest at the foot of the bed.

Beside them were my blue terrycloth slippers looking almost new and a stack of clean white towels. On top of the towels was my treasured cloth the twins had given me, cleaned and pressed. _Oh no! The berries were wrapped up in that! I was going to give them to Lindir, damn! Oh well. It was really nice of them to wash and fold my stuff._ I slipped off my cloak and hung it by the hood on the bedpost. The four-poster was taller than me and my cloak barely grazed the floor. The posts were ornately carved, of course. I walked around to the table with the basin, it'd been cleaned and there was fresh water in the pitcher that was nested inside it. I was just turning to sit on the windowsill when I spotted something on the shelf of the table. I bent down and picked it up; it was a small glass jar with a wide corked mouth. I grinned and laughed when I saw the berries inside it. _I should've known. The elves are too polite to throw anything I might possibly want away. After all, if I'd taken the time to wrap them up, of course I wanted to keep them. I wonder who I have to thank for all this?_ I pondered the diplomatic protocol of gratitude in Middle Earth while I sat down on the windowsill; still turning the jar absently and staring at the tumbling berries.

I looked out into the courtyard and saw a group of elflings running around playing tag and laughing. Their high voices sounded like bells. _I guess clichés are clichés because they're usually true._ The white cat was still sleeping lazily on the bench, but it had moved and was right smack in the middle of a sunbeam. _Garfield would be proud._ The birds were still flitting about, but there was no sign of the pink and red peacock I had seen earlier. There was a warm fall breeze blowing and just as I was beginning to think the cat had the right idea, I heard a light tapping on my door. Parts of Poe's famous poem flew through my mind as I stood and faced the door, "Come in," I said.

Lindir opened the door and walked in. "You wished to speak with me?" He said. He was wearing a deep green velvet tunic and trousers with sparkly embroidery at the high neckline and a light green linen shirt.

"Please sit," I said and gestured to the chairs by the fireplace. He nodded and closed the door. He sat in the chair nearest the door and waited for me to join him. I kept the jar inside my sleeve and hoped I could manage what I had to say without embarrassing him or me. "Lindir," I began, "First, I wanted to thank you for bringing me to Rivendell. You and Arwen were very patient with me and that wine was the best I've ever tasted."

He smiled and spoke slowly but still with that heavy, unfamiliar accent which made me have to concentrate very hard to understand him, "You are welcome. That was _miruvor_; it is a specialty of Imladris. I carry it whenever I travel, even short distances," he paused and continued, "You said 'first', there is something else you wished to say?"

"Yes. I spoke to Master Baggins today," I said, using the honorable title the elves always used for him. At this point, I brought out the jar and held it in my lap. Lindir glanced at it and a red tinge spread over the delicate points of his ears. "He told me what these are. I thought you might like to have them, for your friend. They're dried out and there aren't very many of them left, but they're yours if you want them. I'm afraid I couldn't find that vine again even if I tried and I don't really want to go back there if I can help it." I held out the jar to him.

Lindir took the jar in his hand and smiled. "That should not be necessary. There are seeds. I shall cultivate them for my friend. We elves have a knack for growing things," he said and winked. I thought for a second that he might have just made a subtle sexual innuendo, but then dismissed it. "Thank you for this gift; it will not be forgotten. Is there anything I could do for you?"

"Um, actually, I was wondering . . . how can I show my gratitude for everything that's been done for me? I mean, Glorfindel basically saved my life and you and Arwen and Elladan and Elrohir brought me here safely and Lord Elrond fixed my nose and gave me this beautiful room to sleep in . . ." I took a quick breath and continued, "And these clothes and the food and the cleaning and the washing . . . I'm not used to having everything done for me, what can I do or say to thank everyone and make myself useful?"

"You have come to it in the end, Little One. Every elf in Rivendell has pledged their service to Lord Elrond. Those that serve, serve out of love and because it is what they do best. It is not necessary for you to pledge yourself, or to feel guilty because you accept their service, but you may show your gratitude by using your abilities to give of yourself. Do you understand?"

I sighed and decided I had a lot to think about. "Yes, I think I do." I was suddenly feeling very trapped in that room and wanted to get out and away so I could think. "One last thing, Lindir. You've given me a lot to consider and I would like to find a quiet place outside to be alone for a while. Do you know a good place?"

"Of course. I know just the spot. Lord Erestor has a private garden; I am sure he would not mind if you went there."

We stood up and I walked toward the door, "You're SURE he won't mind? I wouldn't want to intrude."

"I am certain, Little One. In fact we shall ask him on our way there, if you need further assurance. Indeed, he has expressed interest in meeting you." Lindir hid the jar away inside his tunic and opened the door. "I would appreciate it if we kept the matter of the berries between us," he said and I noticed the blush come over his ears again.

"Your friend's secret is safe with me, Lindir," I replied as I stepped out into the hall.

The halls of the house were white stone and were more like breezeways, opening here and there to the gardens; only the rooms had doors and ceilings. The floors were made of highly-polished, honey-colored wood laid seamlessly; the changing directions of the grain were the only indication that the floors were not rolled out from one huge tree. As we walked, I was reminded again of Greco-Roman architecture and wondered if there was actually some historical connection between elves and the ancient art of my world. Of course the Greeks and Romans had never achieved the same delicate detail. The stonework looked almost like lace in places and the statues appeared to be real elves frozen in place. We continued on, side-by-side to a wing I hadn't been in before. After several turns, we arrived at a pair of large wooden doors that looked like mahogany. The carvings on these doors were different. Instead of vegetation, the details were of books, parchments, pens and letters in many different languages. I looked around and saw a pair of doors across the hall carved with images of animals; bears, eagles, horses and many others, some frightening and some beautiful.

Lindir followed my gaze and said, "Those are Glorfindel's rooms."

I realized the doors were carved to reflect the personality of the occupant. Erestor is a great scholar and Glorfindel a warrior and hunter. Bilbo's door was shaped like the one at Bag End. I wondered if the carvings of plants on my door were my subconscious telling me I'm a vegetable, but the doors in front of us opened and interrupted my thoughts.

Erestor stood in the doorway smiling. I couldn't remember hearing Lindir knock so I figured he'd heard us talking and anticipated it. He was as tall as me if not a little taller and was as dark and strong looking as Lindir was light and lithe. Since I am 6' 0" I estimated Lindir to be about 5'10" and Erestor to be about 6'2". Erestor had thick, black hair like Elrond's family but it was even longer, well past his rear, or where I estimated his rear should be. He was wearing a floor-length, thin black velveteen robe with no decoration save a blood-red satin ribbon around the neckline and hem. If it weren't for his sincere smile, he would have looked quite severe. His eyes were almost black but twinkled blue in the sunlight streaming into the hall from overhead. "Welcome to my rooms; I have been waiting for you." He and Lindir exchanged a glance that made me a little uneasy and got my spider-sense tingling.

"Our guest would like a quiet place to sit and think. I suggested your garden, Lord Erestor. I explained that you would not mind, but she requires assurance," Lindir said.

"Of course you may spend time in my courtyard whenever you wish," Erestor said and looked at me. "May I join you for a while, I have been reading and my eyes need a rest."

"Oh yes, my Lord," I said, remembering that everyone in this place was older and more deserving of respect than the Queen of England. "It's your garden, after all."

"Then I shall leave you in Lord Erestor's care," Lindir said and left us in the doorway.

Erestor led the way past an elaborately decorated parlor through a pair of French doors that opened into a lush formal garden. The hedges were tall and reminded me of the perfect privet hedges of royal English estates. Within the living fence were immaculately sectioned flowerbeds and paths of white pebbles which looked like they were laid out with a ruler. We strolled along in silence to the edge of a small pond with water lilies and what appeared to be koi. There were stone benches placed around it and we sat facing the pool. Erestor didn't speak for some time and I stared at the fish and let my mind wander. _"Alive without breath, As cold as death; Never thirsty, ever drinking, All in mail never clinking."_ It was a simple riddle straight out of _The Hobbit._ I even figured that one out before reading the answer. It calmed my mind.

"There is something troubling you, Little One." Erestor finally said.

I thought about that glance he and Lindir exchanged and began to think everything I said was being taken down and reported to Elrond. I didn't like that idea and thought maybe I should just stop talking to anybody. The old "name, rank and serial number" bit seemed a little harsh and ungrateful, but I was still nervous about revealing all that I knew was going to happen. After a long pause I sighed and looked up at him, "Honestly, my Lord, I don't know why I'm here, I don't know what I'm supposed to do and I have no idea how to get home or if I even WANT to go home."

"'Home' is an abstract concept. It is not a place, it is a feeling. You seem to know something of elves. Do you know that we are just visitors here in Middle Earth? We came here from across the sea many thousands of years ago and even though we have had settlements and cities here, we are all destined to go back to Valinor eventually." He said 'Valinor' with such feeling that I discovered I'd never really known what "home" meant and probably never would.

"But what am I supposed to DO? I was a warrior in a type of war that is not known here. My weapons were a technology that doesn't exist. I've never held a sword and have no training with bows or knives or maces or axes or any other weapons found in Middle Earth. The only real jobs I ever managed to hold down were crappy and boring. That's why I joined the army in the first place." Tears began to well up in my eyes and I turned my head away. _I can't BELIEVE I'm in a place thousands of fangirls would sell their grandmothers into prostitution to come to and all I can do is whine and cry!_

Erestor let me get a hold of myself without comment. Eventually, he spoke and at first I thought he was changing the subject for my benefit, but then I remembered the look he and Lindir exchanged, "You are hiding something." It was not a question. "When the time comes, you must tell Lord Elrond and Mithrandir everything. Any omission on your part will be considered a lie."

"My Lord, some of what I know I think would be dangerous to tell. It might _change_ things in a way that they shouldn't be changed. I can't really explain without telling you everything and I'm not ready to do that," I replied.

"Nevertheless, it is not for you to decide what to tell and what not to tell. You are not a child, but Lord Elrond and Mithrandir have wisdom and powers even I cannot comprehend. It would be more dangerous for you to tell only part than for you to tell all."

I was startled by how much sense that made and at first I couldn't think of anything to say; finally, I blurted out something that I'm sure made Erestor think I was a genius: "Wow!"

Erestor looked at me with the "eyebrows of doom" and I found that they still made me giggle.

"Well . . . I mean . . . um, what you just said makes a lot of sense. It also takes a load off my shoulders. Thank you, my Lord."

He smiled again and I felt better, "After all, do you think that Lord Elrond would have me as Chief Councilor if I did not have some wisdom myself?"

"Lindir knew what he was doing when he brought me here, didn't he?" I asked, remembering to mark "getting into a battle of wits with an elf" off my list of things to do.

"I asked him to bring you to me when he thought you were ready, yes. Have you considered the solution to your other problem?

"You mean what I can do here to make myself useful?" he nodded, "Hmmm," I stalled and gathered my strength. _I'm here and I might as well do my best to enjoy it. One thing I know is that I HATED the years I spent in food preparation; I hated KP; I hated anything to do with food service. I didn't get a Bachelor's degree and spend three years in the military to go back to it. What can I do? Let's see, I've been a secretary, manager, convenience store clerk, and retail salesperson. My military experience has been with phones and computers._ Then I heard a voice in my head, not my usual internal dialog, either; it was my mother's voice. "Be a doctor! Why do you fight it so hard? You'd be so good at it." She'd always wanted me to be a doctor since I was a little girl. She said I had a talent for healing and I could always make people feel better when they were sick just by sitting and talking to them. I helped her take care of both my dad and my grandmother when they were dying . . . I even changed their diapers. _Hey, I think I'm on to something! Besides, I was always good at first-aid training._

"I have some skills in first aid," I thought a moment and realized he might not understand that term, "I mean battlefield healing. It was taught to all soldiers in my homeland and I was especially good at it. Is there someone here in Rivendell who could teach me Elvish medicine?" As if I didn't know Elrond was the greatest healer in all of Middle Earth, "I have no magic, but I am a quick study and I may have a few things to teach as well."

"That sounds like a splendid idea. I shall discuss it with Elrond this evening. It would do your heart good to have some work to do and I am afraid we will have more use for healers than warriors before this age is ended."

For the first time, I felt as if I might have some worth in this world after all. I began to wonder where my services would be best used in the story that was playing out. I hoped I would be able to aid in Frodo's recovery somehow. I would hate to be shoved aside when things really got interesting.

Just then, Lindir came up one of the paths toward us. We stood and he and Erestor greeted one another. I kept quiet and listened. Lindir began speaking in Elvish and Erestor stopped him.

"Come Lindir, we must not be rude. Please speak Westron in front of our guest, if you have anything to say that is not for her ears, we should speak in private."

Lindir looked at me and said, "My apologies, Little One . . ."

Erestor broke in once more, "I fear I must also ask you not to use that particular form of address. Our guest may seem young to us, but she is a mature woman by her people's standards and I strongly suspect that we will find her wise beyond her years." Then Erestor looked at me, "You have my apology for using it earlier."

"Um, it's ok. I kind of like it. After all, I'm barely past the age of majority by Hobbit standards and not even close by yours," I said.

Lindir addressed me, "No, Lord Erestor is correct. Please forgive me, my Lady. My message is actually for you. Lord Elrond wishes for you to join him in the healing rooms at your earliest convenience. I believe he wishes to examine your injury."

When he said "injury", I self-consciously reached up and touched my nose lightly. I silently hoped that Elrond would be taking the cloth out of my nostrils. _I'll bet Elrond is not used to waiting for people, regardless of Lindir's use of "at your earliest convenience." Strictly speaking, that probably translates as "ASAP"._ "I will come at once Lindir, thank you. Um, I'm afraid I haven't actually been to the healing rooms, though. Could someone take me there?" I looked hopefully at Lindir and Erestor in turn.

"I would be happy to accompany you, my Lady," said Erestor. "I should like to speak with Elrond myself and this would be the opportune moment to discuss your idea with him as well."

"Then I shall take my leave of you both," Lindir said with a slight bow and went back the direction he had come from.

"You must forgive Lindir his abruptness," Erestor began, "Although we are all disturbed by recent events, Lindir is especially unnerved. He is always wary of visitors, but I'm afraid his shyness has blossomed to a new level entirely."

"He has been nothing but kind to me, my Lord," I said a little offhandedly. I was trying to think what I knew of Lindir from the books, movies and fanfiction. I recalled some fanfics I'd read that told of Lindir being subjected to particularly nasty torture at the hands of one of the incarnations of Morgoth and wished I could remember more of _The Silmarillion_. How much of it was true, I had no idea, but I took from Erestor's words that Lindir had reason to be watchful.

Erestor offered me his arm and I took it. He led me back the way we had come, through his rooms and into the house. We walked the halls in silence. As we approached the healing wing, Erestor spoke, "I see your mood has improved much; I hope this means that you feel comfortable and safe here. You are among friends; we will allow nothing to harm you as long as it remains in our power."

"Of that I am certain, my Lord. The question is, how long will it remain in anyone's power to keep anything safe?"

"The future will come soon enough; we need not hurry it along with worry. Let us hold on to merry moments as long as possible, we shall need the memories to sustain us though the dark times ahead."

Erestor's words echoed through my mind. _Of course he knows what's going on now. He IS Elrond's chief advisor, but he seems to understand that I know, too._ After a short walk, we entered a small room laid out similarly to mine with two beds and several chairs arranged around a fireplace. He motioned for me to sit on one of the beds and he pulled a chair closer and sat. I looked around and was reminded a little of a hospital room. There were narrow tables lining the walls and a large open window on one side with gauzy billowing sheers. The linens were simple, but the wood of the beds, chairs, and tables was carved.

We waited a while and Erestor seemed to become impatient. "I will inform Elrond that you are here," he said and left the room.

_Just like a doctor to keep me waiting!_


	11. Elrond's table and Bilbo's secret

A Visitor, Lessons, Elrond's table and Bilbo's secret by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**After combining the original Chapters 10 and 11, I found that they did not end where Chapter 12 begins. The major events will f****that**

**IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist.**

* * *

After Erestor left me, I did what I always do when I'm alone in an examining room: I started opening drawers and cabinets. The drawers contained rolls of gauzy bandages and various sizes of highly polished silver instruments. There were knives, scissors, and squeezy, forceps-looking things in sizes ranging from tweezers to pliers. There was a tall, narrow, china-cabinet type piece of furniture standing in a corner. In the top part were rows of corked, clear-glass bottles and jars, each with a single Elvish rune engraved on it. The bottom cabinets contained clean towels and linens and on the small counter between the two was a basin and pitcher combination much like the one in my room. Everything was impossibly precise and shiny and decorated beautifully, but most of what I found was at least vaguely familiar. One thing I noticed puzzled me; there were thick metal loops embedded in the wall behind the beds and in the ceiling. _Gruesome. Could this room have been a jail at one time? Maybe the slash fics had the elves' predilection for bondage spot-on?_ It was really too much. I didn't want to believe either possibility, but I decided I'd rather not know, so resolved not to even ask. In fact, I decided to just sit down on the bed and keep my hands to myself.

Luckily, I didn't have much longer to wait. Elrond entered the room with Erestor close behind him. "Good afternoon," he said and walked up to face me. He took my chin in his hand with no preamble and turned my head from side to side examining my nose intently. "You appear to be healing well. I believe we will be able to relieve you of those bandages in the morning." Then he released my chin and took a step back.

"That would be wonderful, my Lord," I replied. "I think I've been missing a lot not being able to taste and smell. I'd like to apologize again for ruining your lovely robe last night."

Elrond smiled. "Do not give it another thought. As I said, it was not my favorite." As he spoke that last bit he looked at Erestor with an expression that made me feel as if I was missing a private joke between them. "Erestor has told me of your conversation and I accept your offer to work in the healing rooms. While you are here, I asked Erestor to tutor you in Elvish as well. It will allow you to respond more quickly to your teachers as well as understand the runes on the healing herbs."

I wondered if maybe I had bitten off more than I was ready for. _God, I hate school. There had better not be any pop quizzes! Oh hell, if Viggo Mortensen and ten thousand fangirls can learn Elvish, I can too._ "I will do my best, my Lord," I replied.

"I understand you will be taking the evening meal in your room tonight?" I nodded. "That is well, you need to rest. I will have a draught prepared for you that will help you sleep and speed your recovery. You will meet the healers here in the morning after breakfast. Erestor will come to your room and take you to your lessons after the mid-day meal. I hope to see you in the dining hall at dinner tomorrow night."

"I'll be there. I'm looking forward to it. Thank you very much my Lord, for everything."

"Do not worry; you are stronger than you know. Goodnight," Elrond said as if he could see how stressed I was. He turned and walked out of the room.

Erestor followed him and at the door he turned and smiled, "_Quel du, tenna' tul're._" I watched them as they left, wondering where the hell I could find an Elvish to Westron handbook?

I got up when they left and walked towards my room a little distractedly. After a few wrong turns, I finally made it to my door. I stepped inside my room and saw in the middle of my bed, curled up in a tight, white fluffy ball was the cat. He twitched an ear in my direction, but did not lift his head. "Elrond just THINKS he's the Lord of the Last Homely House, huh kitty? We know better, don't we?" I could see through the window it was a little past sunset; the sky was still bathed in pinks, reds and blooming into purple in the east. I decided to make an early night of it and went over to the foot of the bed to change into my pjs. Took off my shoes, untied the dress and slipped out of it, laying it on the bed. I put on my pajama bottoms and noticed that the cuffs had been mended and a strip of dark blue cloth had been added to each so that they would be an even length and match. The worn-out elastic in the waistband had been replaced with a drawstring too. I put on the undershirt and slippers and then the over shirt. I stepped over to the mirror and noticed the little decorative pocket had a small bulge. I peeked inside it and found the circle of fabric I'd torn off the pants and used to pull back my hair when I was in the thicket with the twins. It was clean and also carefully mended. _Man, those elves don't miss a trick!_

I sat down on the windowsill and pulled my knees up to my chest. The valley was beginning to twinkle with lamps that reminded me of fireflies. I started to wonder about dinner and a few other things.

Suddenly, a small head peeped above the window sill and I was looking into the eyes of a curious elfling. I couldn't judge age or sex, but considering the distance between the window and the ground, the elfling had to be about the height of a ten-year old child. I smiled at him and the elfling said, _"Quel undome."_

_"Quel undome,_ to you too," I replied, wondering if I had just challenged the kid to a duel. The child laughed and hopped up on the window sill. _Are ALL elves born disgustingly graceful?_ I thought to myself as I noted that the child was in brown cloth leggings and a matching tunic. He was staring at my nose intently; his eyes were green.

"Does that hurt?" he asked.

"Yes, but only when anything heavier than the wind touches it."

"My brother had that same thing happen to him in battle and he said it didn't hurt a bit, not even when Lord Elrond fixed it!"

"Then he was lying," I said and hoped I wasn't challenging his family's honor by saying so.

"I thought so. It looked very painful and he was in a very bad mood until the bruises went away. Are you in a bad mood?"

"No." I laughed, "Actually, I'm in an excellent mood. A little thing like a broken nose can't overshadow the joy of Imladris, can it?"

"One would not think so, but there are elves here that seem to always be in a bad mood. Like my brother."

"Older brothers can seem that way. I have an older brother and when I was young he always acted like he didn't know me, unless someone was picking on me. He never let anyone else pick on me; that was his job." I grinned and he laughed merrily.

"It sounds as if our brothers have a lot in common. Is your brother a great warrior too?"

At his words I realized that sibling worship was as universal as sibling torture. "As a matter of fact, he is. He is a . . ." I hesitated, wondering if the child would understand the word "major"; I thought not. ". . . _captain_ in my country's infantry."

"My brother will be a great captain one day. Perhaps they will meet on the field of battle and be friends?"

"Perhaps. In the meantime, may I count you among _my_ friends?" I asked.

"Of course! I would like that very much!"

I heard the unmistakable sound of a mother calling and the elfling turned toward the courtyard. "How long have you been hiding from your mother? She sounds like she's getting worried."

"How did you know?" He asked and shifted guiltily.

"I know because your hearing is much better than mine. If I can hear her calling, you must've been able to hear her for some time," I said, raising my eyebrows. _Good Lord, now I'M doing it!_.

"I had better go," he said. "Will I see you again?"

"I hope so. I begin training with the healers tomorrow, but I'll keep an eye out for you."

_"Tenna' ento lye omenta,"_ he said and hopped out the window and ran off.

"Same to you," I said quietly to his retreating form, wondering if his sharp ears heard me. I was wondering exactly how I was going to get dinner when there was a light knock. "Come in," I said and stood to face the door.

The elven lady who had taken care of me all morning returned. She was carrying another, larger bundle of clothing, complete with matching shoes. "Good evening. I trust you are well?"

"Yes. What've you got there?" I asked and noticed her eyes were the same shade of green as the elfling's.

"I have several things, a dress for dinner tomorrow, a gown for you to wear to bed if you wish and a few simple frocks in the style of the healers. We will go to the clothier tomorrow afternoon to find you something more comfortable, if you are still interested."

"I'm definitely still interested. It looks like I'll be here long enough to need them!" I stepped around the bed to take the bundle from her and looked around. _I wonder where I'm supposed to put my clothes?_

When she spoke, I began to wonder if all elves could read minds, "There is a closet here behind this panel, the door slides into the wall." She walked between the bed and the window to the wall behind the headboard. She then put the palm of her hand on the wall and slid aside a pocket door which opened right to left noiselessly.

"Thank you! I was just wondering about that. The architectural detail hides that door completely. I never would've found it if you hadn't shown me. Does this mean that I'll be staying in the house? I didn't expect such an honor."

"It is customary for healers to stay in the house, so that they can come quickly when called, but if you find yourself in need of more space for some reason . . ." she smiled at me and I thought that maybe she'd just insinuated something sexual. _First Lindir, now her? Nah, it must be my imagination._ ". . .You may request larger accommodations in another wing of the house or even a house of your own nearby."

"No, I think this room will suit me fine, thanks. After all, it's no smaller than my barracks room; the only difference is that there is no toilet or shower."

"There are bath facilities in the healing wing and I will show you how to find the 'toilets' as you call them. There are many throughout the house, behind doors such as this one," she indicated my closet door. "I will teach you how to locate them and soon you will wonder that you never noticed them before."

I set the bundle of clothes on the bed, trying not to disturb the cat, intending to hang them up before going to bed. For the first time, I noticed my cloak was no longer on the bedpost. Just as I was going to ask about it, the elf saw the cat and spoke, "How long has he been here? Do you mind terribly? He has come to think of this room as his."

"Heavens no, I don't mind. I ADORE cats. Does he respond to Elvish?"

"He does not respond to anything except food, he is a cat," she said and laughed.

"Speaking of food . . ." I trailed off.

"Oh! My apologies! I will bring a tray from the kitchen immediately. Oh and you might want this," she said on her way out and placed a lovely silver handled brush with natural brown bristles on the desk. "I noticed as I was braiding your hair this morning that it is very thick. This might be easier to use than a comb, now that it is dry."

"_Hannon le, mellon nín,"_ I said as she whizzed out the door. I decided to take the opportunity to hang up my new clothes. I stepped inside the closet and found it had a long bar with several satin covered hangers on the left side. On the first hanger was my cloak. On the far wall from the door was a chest of drawers and on the outside wall were high windows that let in light from some source outside. I proceeded to hang up three sets of pale blue frocks which were ankle-length with high necklines and fastened up the front with buttons. The buttons only went from the neck to the waist and there were matching trousers underneath. They reminded me of what Neo wore in _The Matrix,_ except that his clothes were black. Next I hung up the dress I had worn that day. I also hung up a plain white linen nightgown that had flowing sleeves and a matching robe that tied at the neck. Last, I hung the dress I was to wear to dinner the next night. It was gorgeous dark-green velvet with pale-green silk sleeves and white jewels stitched into the hem and neckline. There were shoes of the same green velvet with matching jewel accents. I lined the velvet shoes, two pair of pale blue linen slippers and the pale green ones I had worn that day up against the wall under the gowns. "Wow! Those clothes would cost a fortune back home!" I said as I turned and walked back into the room.

I closed the door behind me and went to the desk to get the brush. I sat at the desk and began to wonder how to light the candle as it was getting pretty dark. I opened the single desk drawer and found a small box. I opened the box and lo and behold, it was filled with stick matches. I found the rough side of the box by feel and broke a couple of matchsticks before getting the pressure just right. Finally, I managed to light one and lit the candle. Then I started to undo the plait in my hair. It was very soft and very wavy because it had been plaited that morning while it was still damp. I brushed it out and turned to look at the cat. He was still there, but had sat up and was staring at the door, I soon heard a knock. I got up and opened the door and my elven friend was standing in the hall with a tray of food. She brought it in and set it on the desk. "Have you eaten dinner yet?" I asked her as the cat hopped down to the floor and began rubbing my legs.

"No, I go home at night and dine with my family. I heard my son speaking with you before I knocked earlier; I hope that he did not disturb you?"

"No, not at all; he's a very friendly boy, how old is he?"

"He is nearly fifty and at that age that I can hardly keep him out of trouble. His brother is on patrol in the south and he misses him." a shadow of concern crossed her face.

I marveled at this. She looked to be barely twenty herself. _I doubt I'll ever be able to judge elven age._

"It is time for me to be going home. The sleeping draught Lord Elrond prepared for you is on the tray. When you are finished, just leave the tray on the desk and it will be taken in the morning. Sleep well, _mellon nín_. I shall come back and take you to the kitchens for breakfast in the morning." Then to the cat, "_Khila amin, cam'wethrin_." The cat immediately followed her out the door.

I ate a candlelight supper of various textures of sweet and salty. I couldn't really taste much other than that. Everything on my plate was either white (bread) or green (vegetables) or red (meat). There was a slightly tart fruit too, but I couldn't place it. It wasn't something I'd ever seen before. Kind of like a bald kiwi without the seeds. The meal was fulfilling if not tasty and I soon found myself quite content. The room was cozy and I was comfortable so I took off my over-shirt and put it on the back of the desk chair. I placed my linen napkin over the plate, ostensibly to keep bugs away although I hadn't seen or heard a single insect since I had entered the valley. I picked up the glass with the potion in it and the candle and set them down on the nightstand. Then I kicked off my slippers, crawled under the covers, drank the draught, blew out the candle and waited for sleep. It didn't take long and I was out like a light.

I woke up feeling better than I ever had. I looked out the window to see the same purple sky I had seen last night receding westward. Apparently, my soldier's body-clock had reset itself to Rivendell time and I was up with the roosters, no alarm clock needed. The cat had found its way back into my room and was sprawled out in the crook of my knees. "Good morning, kitty!" He raised his head to peer at me through half-closed eyes and laid it back down. I carefully slipped out of bed on the window side so as not to disturb him. I stood in front of the mirror and was greeted by a happy face. My nose had reduced to only half-again its normal size and the bruises had faded considerably. My sunburn was now a very nice tan. I was not altogether beautiful, but I didn't feel like a monster anymore either.

I still looked like a battered wife, but now I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I supposed I could have covered it up with makeup, but there wasn't any and I wouldn't have bothered anyway. I poured some water from the pitcher into the basin and put the pitcher on the shelf. I went around the bed and collected the brush, basket, my over-shirt and slippers and on my way back grabbed a towel off the chest. I undressed and used the soap to wash up, I hadn't really done much to get dirty or sweaty the day before so I rinsed and dried myself, powdered all the important places, brushed my teeth and then brushed my hair.

I folded my pajamas and put them in the dresser, grabbing the makeshift hair band out of the pocket, and then lined my slippers up with the other shoes. Then I dressed in one of the frocks; it was fully lined, but I thought idly about bras and panties. _I'm going to need them eventually._ I brushed my hair again and pulled it back into a high ponytail. It was the best I could do. Soon there was a knock on the door and my day began. _Today is the first day of the rest of your life, make it count!_

I ate another bland meal in the kitchens and was taken to the healing rooms. I expected to see Elrond, but he wasn't there. Another healer sat me down on a bed and looked at my nose. "Um, I will most likely get nauseous when you pull those out," I said. "I've got a high tolerance for pain, but anything to do with noses usually makes me sick."

"You will have to get used to that here. Facial injuries are very common among the warriors," he replied.

"Believe me, I'll work on it, just have a basin handy, ok?"

He tugged on the end of one of the bandages and pulled it straight out. It must have been three feet long!

"Ahhhoohhwwww," I said and laid back on the bed. Another elf in a healer's frock came up next to me with a cloth soaked in something that smelled fresh and clean and put it against the back of my neck. _HEY! It SMELLS fresh and clean!!_ As I was marveling at my new sense of smell the first elf tugged the other bandage and pulled it out in one swift motion. "Yaaaaahhhhhhoouuch!" Again the elf with the cloth wiped my face and neck and I smelled the soothing liquid. My nausea came and went quickly. _Twenty bucks that's athelas!_ I took a deep breath through my nose and murmured, _"Athelas."_

The first elf smiled as if he was surprised and asked, "Yes; you know king's foil?"

"I do now. I won't ever forget that smell. Which jar do you keep it in? I want to remember the marking on it." He handed me the jar, I memorized the rune:

"That is the Tengwar letter that represents _Athelas,_" He said.

"_Hannon le._ I feel wonderful."

The rest of my morning was spent going over the different herbs and what they were for. I noticed some patterns and found that the best way for me to remember them was by smell. _The elves know so much about plants and flowers, and their uses. I'll never be able to match them, but maybe if I can just remember the basics, everything else will come._

"Plants will usually tell you (by their scent) what they might be good for," said my instructor. "Roses and lavender and vanilla, for instance, are soothing . . . and the ones we use for medicine usually smell a bit tangy; the bland plants are used as buffers or are mixed with other herbs. I will take you outside to see what the plants look like when they are growing, so that you can recognize them when you travel."

"Do dandelions have medicinal value?" I asked. "My great-great grandmother brought them with her across a great expanse of plains; as flowers, and for tea and medicine. My mother always thought of them as little suns when so many people thought of them as weeds."

"That sounds like 'lion's tooth.' Your women are wise. Lion's tooth is used to reduce swelling, to eradicate warts and to soothe calluses, bee stings, or sores. It also aids in increasing the production of mother's milk. SEE IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE"

I enjoyed the morning immensely and was sorry when my elven escort came to take me to lunch. I bid my instructor goodbye and left for the kitchen. She showed me where the utensils and bread were and we made sandwiches of cucumber, butter and a sweet, soft cheese**٭**. She gathered everything in a basket with a bottle of what looked like wine and we headed to her favorite spot in the valley. It wasn't far, but I never would've found it on my own. We sat down on a lush green lawn next to a small spring. We ate and drank the sweet fruity wine and I regaled her with what I had learned. She was very patient and polite and I was as excited as a kid on Christmas. When we finished our meal (the best I could ever remember) she took me to Erestor's rooms. She left me at the door before Erestor answered and went back towards the kitchen.

Erestor took me into his study where he taught me the Tengwar alphabet and gave me parchments to take to my room to study. It wasn't as boring as I thought it would be, but it wasn't as exciting as my morning, either. It was simply a matter of practice and memorization. He started me out with the letters that represented the medicinal herbs in order to facilitate my lessons in the healing rooms. He was patient and kind and I very rarely felt like a child, although it did happen from time to time. At length, I gathered up my parchments and he showed me to the door. "I will see you tonight at table," he said and then added, "I would like you to write the alphabet ten times tonight and show it to me tomorrow."

"Yes, my Lord," I said with a sigh. _Homework, ARGH!_ Then I turned and made my way back to my room.

I gathered my basket, cloak and towel and headed for the showers in the healing rooms. They were nicely tiled in the style of the bathroom I had been in the day before, but the fixtures were bright silver. I did my thing, toweled off my body and hair, put my frock back on and went back to my room. I was sitting at the desk, working on my homework as twilight was settling over the valley, I heard a knock. "Come," I said to the door.

The elven lady entered and saw me in my cloak at the desk. "How were your lessons with Lord Erestor?" she asked.

"Great, except he gave me homework," I grumbled.

"You can finish that later. Now, let us get you ready for dinner."

She helped me put on the magnificent velvet dress. I noticed she was still wearing the dress she had had on before, "Are you not dining with us?" I asked.

"No, I will eat with my family again tonight. We usually only dine in the great hall during feasts. Sit in the chair and I will do your hair." Soon, she had combed and braided the sides of my hair leaving the back loose. "Thank you very much. Is it time to go to dinner?"

"Yes, come with me." I followed her out into the hall. "There are a few things you need to know. There are no weapons allowed at Lord Elrond's table. There are guards at the doors, but guests are prohibited from wearing arms. Do not sit until Lord Elrond is seated. If there are toasts, only the males stand for them. _Miruvor_ is usually served with dessert, it is a VERY strong wine and I recommend you do not drink more than half a glass. After the meal, Lord Elrond will lead the way to the Hall of Fire, where there will be singing and entertainment. You may sit anywhere in the hall and you may come and go as you like. Do you have any questions?"

I couldn't help but grin, "It sounds like a traditional military dining-in to me! Complete with the warning about temperance."

She led me to a large dining room. The double doors were flanked with beautifully dressed guards and she motioned for me to enter and said, "I will see you tomorrow, have a good evening." She left before I could reply. There was a long table running the length of the room up to the dais. Chairs lined the outside edges of the table, which was draped with pale blue linen cloth and a dark blue runner with silver accents. There were already several elves and to my surprise, dwarves, milling about. A tall, red-haired male elf with deep, golden eyes offered me his arm and led me to a seat. He didn't speak and returned to the doors where I watched him leading other unescorted females to their chairs. I stood behind my chair and noticed the one on my left had several thick, brightly-colored cushions. _They've seated me next to Bilbo!_ I thought delightedly.

There were woven tapestries hung on the walls and the intricate details were nearly photographic. Soon, Bilbo joined me and we exchanged happy greetings. Although I had been directed to wait until Elrond arrived to sit, Bilbo casually pulled out his chair and sat down. I was glad to see he was exempt from this policy and no one even seemed to notice. Several elves and dwarves went out of their way to greet him and I realized the seat next to Bilbo at table must be a great honor. Gloin and company approached Bilbo reverently with a flurry of bows and "At your service and your family's" although I could tell this was not their first meeting that day. At length, Elrond arrived and blessed the meal eloquently. He sat and everyone else sat. The males (except for Bilbo) rose again and there were a few toasts, one to Galdor and his company from the Grey Havens, one to Gloin and his company from the Lonely Mountain, and a few others to various foreign dignitaries whose names I did not recognize. Then to my surprise, Elrond addressed me: "I would like to introduce to you all the newest healer of my household. She has traveled far and endured much to be with us tonight. It is my desire that she be made welcome in Rivendell."

I blushed furiously and stood, facing Elrond. I tried to steady my voice, but it came out in a strained whisper, "I . . .," I tried again, remembering that I'm an NCO, DAMMIT! "I am grateful for your generosity, my Lord. I only pray that by my service I can repay you and your people for your kindness and trust."

Elrond smiled gaily and replied, "That is all that is expected of you, _mellon nín_." He bade everyone to sit and as he took a bite of the appetizer, everyone else began to eat.

Bilbo could see that I was breathless and he spoke to me, "Well said, lass. Keep it short and to the point, especially when everyone is hungry. Long speeches before meals never made much sense to me."

I could spend hours describing the delicacies of Elrond's table. There was an appetizer of shellfish; Bilbo explained to me that this was a rare treat, brought by Galdor and his company from the Gulf of Lune. There were several courses of freshwater fish, poultry, pork, mutton and venison, each served with a different wine. By the time dessert was served I was very leery of the _miruvor_. I was light-headed from the wines served with dinner and I definitely did not want to embarrass myself. I had tasted every course and had a few sips of the wine that accompanied it, but I left much on my plates so that I would have room to try everything. The pastries that made up the dessert were light and airy. There was also flan-like custard and something resembling a whipped pudding. I tried each and restricted myself to one sip of _miruvor_ per dessert. Most of my conversation with Bilbo at the table was about the food. It seemed to be a favorite subject of his and he was able to tell me the ingredients of nearly every dish. The dwarves had apparently arrived that very day and were still conversing among themselves for the most part, not yet being comfortable with their elven hosts. I noted that Arwen was not at dinner and I wondered out loud to Bilbo where she might be.

"Knowing that one, she is probably sitting in a tree somewhere singing to the stars. This is not an official feast after all. She has just recently come back to Rivendell from Lothlórien and she prefers to keep to herself. Elrond thinks she is homesick, but I think she is love struck if you get my meaning," he said with a wink.

After dessert, Elrond stood and led the way to the Hall of Fire. I assisted Bilbo out of his chair and we left the dining room together. He walked slowly and when the others were far enough ahead that we wouldn't be overheard he whispered to me, "Would you like to go for a walk? I would like to share something with you."

"I'm sure I'll get plenty of time in the Hall of Fire Bilbo, I'd be delighted to walk with you."

We headed off in the direction of his room and he asked me to wait for a moment. When he returned, he was tucking something into his brown velveteen waistcoat and told me to come with him. We walked out through the main doors of the house and down a path that led away from the more populated areas. The path was lit well enough in the darkness, but was obviously not a busy thoroughfare.

When we had gone a little ways to a small alcove with a stone bench, Bilbo stopped and sat. "You must not tell anyone, they don't like for me to indulge too much in my old age . . ." he said as he pulled out whatever it was tucked into his waistcoat. He unwrapped a small pipe and pouch and began filling the bowl of the pipe with what looked like tobacco. He tamped it down and lit it with a match and took a long puff.

"Um, you wouldn't happen to have another pipe with you?" I asked hopefully.

He eyed me and laughed, "My word! I've never met a woman of the Big Folk who smoked! Of course, lass, of course! The elflings make a hobby of carving pipes for me, I have more than I could possibly ever use." He pulled an intricately carved wooden pipe from another pocket. "I always keep two or three handy; I have a habit of putting things down and not being able to find them again. Personally, I think someone is following behind me hiding them, but I haven't caught the menace yet." He filled the bowl and offered the pipe to me and lit it. I took a long deep puff and immediately sat down feeling dizzy. "Be careful, my dear. That is 'Old Toby' a very strong pipe-weed. Gandalf always picks some up for me whenever he is in Bree."

I reveled in the dizziness and replied, "Not to worry, Bilbo, I am used to strong smoke; it's just that I haven't had any since I left my home." We sat there for a long time, Bilbo teaching me how to blow smoke rings and me wondering what I did to deserve such enchanting company.

After what seemed like hours, there was a sudden crashing sound in the trees above us. It lasted for several moments and then there was a sickening _THUD!_

* * *

**_Quel du_: Good night (farewell)  
_Tenna' tul're_: Until Tomorrow  
_Quel undome_: Good evening (greeting)  
_Tenna' ento lye omenta_: Until next we meet  
_Khila amin, cam'wethrin_: Follow me, thief**

* * *

**CUCUMBER PARTY SANDWICHES **

**1 (8 oz.) pkg. softened cream cheese  
1 stick butter, softened  
1 pkg. Good Seasons mild Italian dressing (dry)  
1 (8 oz.) loaf party rye bread  
**

**2 cucumbers, unpeeled & thinly sliced  
Dill weed for garnish **

**Combine cream cheese, butter and dressing mix.  
Refrigerate for several hours or overnight.  
Spread on each slice of bread.  
Top with cucumber slice and sprinkle with dill.  
Serve immediately.  
Makes about 3 dozen.**

**NOTE: Especially good in summer when cucumbers are best.**


	12. Battlefield Medicine

Battlefield Medicine by Elaura

**IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist.**

* * *

I ran over to where the sound had come from with Bilbo hobbling after me as quickly as he could. What I found in the dim light was the body of an elfling. I recognized him as my friend from the windowsill. He was unconscious, lying flat on his back and his right arm and left leg were splayed out unnaturally.

"Bless me! Is he all right?" Bilbo gasped as he caught sight of the boy.

I knelt down beside the child and found he was not breathing. "SHIT! Go! Get help!" I yelled at Bilbo, going into sergeant-mode instantly. "Tell them to bring a board, long and wide enough to support him from head to toe! Not a stretcher, Bilbo, it has to be a good strong board!" I checked the boy's neck and found no pulse. "FUCK!" As Bilbo hobbled off in the direction of the house, I tilted the small head back, pulled jaw and tongue forward, pinched his little nose and breathed into his mouth. I watched for the rise and fall of his chest and then leaned over to start chest compressions. "Mandos won't have you on my watch dammit, stay with me!" I pleaded with the boy while I continued CPR. I had been doing this for what felt like forever when I heard several footsteps running towards us. Suddenly I was surrounded by elves, one of which was carrying a long, wide board.

"Don't touch him yet!" I yelled and breathed another breath into his mouth. I barked orders left and right as I continued compressions. "One of you take his arm and another his leg. DO NOT move them into any other position; hold them exactly as they are. Can you do that?" They nodded. "Ok, we're going to have to get that board under him as carefully as possible, without changing the position of his back or neck, they may be broken." There were hands under every inch of his body now; gently lifting him barely inches from the ground and someone slid the board under him from his feet to his head. I had stopped CPR just long enough for them to complete this maneuver and checked again for breath and pulse. There were still none. I straddled the boy's chest with my knees on the board to either side of him and resumed CPR.

"Now you must carry us very carefully, don't allow his arm or leg to change position and hold his head and body as still as possible." I glanced around looking for someone who was not involved in the holding or carrying, I spied a female elf in the crowd and yelled at her, "You, run back to the house and tell Lord Elrond he fell from a tree. He's not breathing and has no heartbeat. His arm and leg are broken. Now, run!" As I said "no heartbeat" several of the elves gasped. There was a heavy feeling of futility in the air and I said very sternly, "I'm NOT giving up on this boy, don't any of you dare!"

We made our way back to the house and into the healing rooms. Elrond was already out of his robe waiting for us, and the boy, the board and I were was placed on the bed, the elves continuing to hold the boy's arm, leg and neck still. Elrond then held his hand over the elfling's chest and was astonished. "His fëa is still here, and it is very strong!" He bent all his power on the boy and shortly bid me stop what I was doing. I reluctantly halted CPR and looked intently for the rise and fall of the small chest. As I was watching, I felt for a pulse at his neck and there it was! He was breathing on his own again and I got down off the bed carefully with the help of the elves who had been carrying us. While Elrond concentrated on whatever had stopped the boy's heart, I went to the drawer in which I remembered seeing scissors and began cutting off the boy's clothing. I cut painfully slowly around the broken limbs and soon we could see the full extent of the elfling's injuries. He had several black and blue marks on his ribcage on both sides and a terrible purple bruise on his right hip. His right arm was broken at the forearm and his left leg was broken at the thigh. There were no compound fractures, so mercifully he wouldn't have to worry about infection. _If he lives._ I thought sadly, but quickly pushed that notion out of my mind. Other healers entered the room and began tending the boy's wounds. I stepped back and took a breath. _This part is beyond me, I might as well let the experts take it from here._ I continued to watch closely and assist as much as I could, carrying water and towels to and fro and mixing herbs given to me by the others. As limbs were set and splinted, elves began to filter out of the room. The one holding his head was still there, speaking soothing words to the boy in Elvish. Elrond, satisfied that the boy would not stop breathing, gently moved his hands over the child's head and under his neck. When he came to the neck he said, "It is damaged, but I do not think he will be paralyzed," he said and looked at me, "but only due to your actions."

I sighed heavily and asked, "What do you have here to stabilize it? He'll try to move when he wakes up."

"You are mixing a sleeping draught which will keep him unconscious for a few days, but we have something to keep his head still." Elrond replied and moved his hands over the front of the boy down the middle of his body. "I am checking for any other damage to his back and organs," he explained to me, "there seems to be nothing more than bumps and bruises." The healers then spoke to the elf holding the boy's head and he held it very still while they slid the board out from under him from the foot of the bed. Then one of the healers took over stabilizing the boy's head and neck and the other elf turned to leave.

I noticed he was the red-haired elf from dinner and I asked him, "Do you know this boy? Has anyone notified his family that he's here?"

"I know him well, I will find his parents and bring them here myself," he replied.

"_Hannon le."_ I said tiredly.

"No, thank _you_, my Lady," he said quietly as he walked out the door.

Elrond then turned back to me with a concerned look on his face, "You are weary, and you should go and rest. I would like to discuss this with you in the morning."

"I'd like to stay at least until his parents arrive, if that's ok?" I asked as I watched the healers attach some kind of traction device from the metal loop on the wall to the boy's head. _Ah, so that's what those are for! Pretty clever for a race that doesn't know CPR._ Elrond finished his assessment and spoke to the healers again in Elvish then he sat down in one of the chairs by the fireplace. He motioned for me to sit across from him and I did.

"We will both stay. May I ask you about what you did?"

"Of course, my Lord," I answered.

He looked at me with an intense gaze and I began to feel a little uncomfortable as he spoke, "You said you have no magic, yet you kept this boy alive after his heart had stopped. I do not understand."

_Oh, so that's it, he thinks I've lied to him!_ "It's no magic, my Lord. It's a technique called cardio-pulmonary resuscitation. It's taught to all warriors where I come from. We've learned that sometimes a person's heart can be re-started if the damage is not too severe, and by breathing for them in the meantime, brain damage can be avoided."

"I see, can you teach this technique to my healers and warriors? It might save many lives."

"I'd be more than happy to, my Lord. The most difficult part is knowing when to start and when to stop. This boy was lucky that you were so close. I wouldn't have been able to keep doing that forever. At some point, one has to make the decision to let the patient go. Also, you have to make a quick decision whether or not to start at all. In a battlefield situation, you have to take into account how many other lives can be saved while you're trying to save just one."

"Yes, I see your point. Still, I would like for you to report to the training grounds tomorrow morning and begin teaching this technique to those of my captains who are in Rivendell. The healers will be there as well. After they have learned, they can teach those who are not here."

_The pupil becomes the teacher? I never knew I had it in me._ "As you wish, my Lord." Just as we were finishing our conversation, the red-haired elf returned with the boy's parents. Elrond and I stood and faced them. My sweet elven guardian was in tears and ran to the bedside. The male, whom I assumed was the boy's father, walked over to Elrond and talked with him quietly in Elvish. I walked over to the other side of the bed and spoke to my friend, "He's going to be ok. He's very strong and we got him back here quickly. I want you to know, he was never alone."

Her eyes never left his face as she spoke, "You were with him the whole time? They said you had magic that kept him alive when his heart stopped. Is that true?"

"It's true that he didn't die, but it wasn't magic."

I touched her hand which was resting lightly on the boy's chest. She took it in her own and looked up at me through tearful eyes, "I will forever be in your debt, _mellon nín,_" she choked.

"No, this is just what people are supposed to do for one another. I'm happy simply to call you my friend." I let go of her hand as her husband approached and I let him take my place.

I quietly left the room intending to find Bilbo to apologize. The re-haired elf was still standing in the hallway outside.

"My Lady," he began, "I wanted to thank you again for saving my nephew's life."

I shook my head, "No thanks are needed. Frankly, I didn't know I could do that. We'd only just practiced on dummies. I've never done it on a real person before. No one back home would believe I had the ability to handle that kind of situation. I suppose everyone thinks I'm weak. I was a sergeant, but most people just figured I held that rank because I was good at taking tests and going to boards. I had a few soldiers, and some of them knew they could depend on me, but here I feel useless and stupid most of the time."

"No one in Rivendell thinks you are useless and stupid. An elf's fëa usually departs for Mandos as soon as his heart stops. You kept his body alive, but more importantly, you kept his fëa with us. You must have great strength of will to accomplish that."

"The strength is in that boy, not me," I replied.

"You do not see your own worth yet, but you will. I am at your service, my Lady. Anything you desire you have only to ask and it shall be done."

He was so earnest I began to cry. "I'm sorry," I said. "I guess it's just the stress."

He wrapped his arms around me and spoke softly in Elvish. I was immediately comforted, but I started crying even harder. When I finally felt I couldn't cry anymore, he released me and I stepped back. "Can you tell me where Bilbo is? I would like to apologize for yelling at him. In fact, I should apologize to everyone. I shouldn't have shouted."

He smiled. "There is no need to apologize. Master Baggins was taken to his room by one of the healers." He saw my worried expression and quickly added, "He is well. He was just tired from having to move so quickly. As far as the elves are concerned, sometimes a situation requires harsh words. You did not give up and you did not let us give up, either. Gentleness would not have been as effective. May I accompany you back to your room?"

"Yes, please." I felt as if I might sway into the walls, my arms and legs felt like lead. He offered his elbow and I took it. I remembered Elrond's words to me from the night before, _"You are stronger than you think." I hope so._ We reached my room without speaking, at my door I turned, "Thank you. Goodnight." Then I remembered something, "I know you will want to be with your family, but Lord Elrond has asked me to be at the training ground in the morning. I'm afraid I don't know the way."

"I will meet you outside my nephew's room in the morning. I will take you there," he replied. "Goodnight, _Lle ume quell, astalder._"

"Goodnight." I turned and went into my room. My room was dark and I was exhausted. I kicked off my velvet shoes and collapsed on the bed. Luckily the cat was not there. I rolled over and faced the window and saw his silhouette on the windowsill. He jumped from the sill to the bed and curled up next to me, purring. I lay there petting him, and fell asleep.

* * *

_Lle ume quell, astalder_: You did well, valiant one.

**By the way, are my paragraphs too long? **


	13. Dinner with the Dwarves

More Battlefield Medicine and dinner with the dwarves by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist.**

* * *

My dreams that night were fitful, filled with disjointed images of creepy shadows and frightened children. I was being chased and eventually ended up falling off a cliff. Before I hit the bottom, I woke up suddenly, disoriented. I rubbed my face with my palm and remembered my sore nose a split second too late. "Ow, fuck," I muttered. My eyes were crusty and dry from crying the night before. I pushed myself up slowly expecting the cat to be there, but he was gone. I looked out the window and it was still dark. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I leaned over to my nightstand and poured myself a cup of whatever was in the teapot and set the cup and saucer in my lap. I was hoping for something caffeinated, but as I sipped, I tasted a light, unsweetened tea that reminded me somewhat of freshly-mown, summer grass. I was still sitting on top of the bedspread in my green velvet dress.

"My beautiful dress," I sighed. "It's probably wrinkled, has grass and dirt stains and long, white cat hair all over it." Sipping my tea, I pondered the events of the previous night and worked my mind around teaching elves CPR. "I've taught first-aid before. This shouldn't really be too hard. Of course, there's a world of difference between teen-age privates and thousand-year-old warriors." Finishing my tea, I set the cup and saucer back on the nightstand and rolled off the bed toward the window. The sky over the mountains in the east was becoming lighter. I opened the closet door; it was still lit somehow by a gentle glow coming in through the high windows. I slipped out of my dress, not looking too closely at it and hung it up. I counted two frocks and pulled one and a pair of matching shoes out of the closet and laid them on the bed.

"Where's the other one? I know I had three. Oh yeah, I changed out there by the desk last night, it must still be draped over one of the chairs." The basin had been emptied and cleaned and there was fresh water in the pitcher so I washed up and powdered as I had the previous morning. "Where's that brush?" As I was pulling my hair out of the braids, I walked around the bed to the desk. The brush was there, but the clothes I wore yesterday were nowhere to be found. Even the shoes were gone. My hair band was on the desk next to the brush, so I gathered them up, picked up the velvet shoes and went back the closet. I tossed the shoes into the closet and closed the door. I sat on the windowsill and brushed my hair; when I finished, I pulled it back into a ponytail and watched the sun rise up over the mountaintops.

I dressed and decided to skip breakfast and went straight to the little elf's room. His mother was sleeping in a chair next to the bed and didn't stir. His father, who was sitting in front of the fireplace, stood as I entered. _'Quel amrun, mellon nín,_ he greeted me.

"Good morning," I replied as I went over to the bed. The elfling's broken arm and leg were wrapped in bandages and suspended in devices from the loop on the ceiling much like the one attached to his head. I checked his fingers and toes for warmth and pinched his nails to make sure the blood was flowing to them. Then I uncovered his other foot and ran my thumbnail up his sole as I had seen my dad's neurosurgeon do many years ago. His foot twitched. I took a pair of scissors from a table nearby and raised his good leg by the knee. I tapped gently and the little leg kicked. I smiled as I let his leg down and covered it back up. "Those are good signs, they indicate he isn't paralyzed," I whispered to his father who had been watching me intently.

"It appears we have you to thank for that," he replied and gestured for me to sit with him by the unlit fire. "My brother told me what you did on the path; my wife and I are very grateful." As he spoke, he glanced over to his sleeping family and an expression of intense love was on his face. I marveled at that and could not think of a reply. "We are at your service."

I nodded. "It's my job; besides, he's my friend. I'm just glad I was there." I thought about telling him about meeting his son the other day, but just then, the red-haired elf came in carrying a tray of food and a cloth bundle.

"_Mae govannen,_" he said and set the tray on a nearby table. "Are you ready to go to the training grounds?"

"Yes," I said and stood.

He glanced at the bed with a look of relief and concern, "_Quel esta, ascarer,"_ he whispered and offered me his arm. He nodded at his brother and we left the room.

He led me through the house and out the front doors, down the short stone stair. We walked along a white stone path. "May I ask you a personal question?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"Your hair is red. Is it as rare among elves as it is among my people?" _Except out of a bottle,_ I added to myself.

"It is uncommon, but not unheard of. It is definitely more common among the elves of Rivendell, though I could not tell you why. My parents both have blonde hair, my mother's eyes are green and my father's blue. My wife's hair is brown and although our son takes after her, our daughter has red hair and eyes like mine."

"Oh, you're married?" I tried to hide my disappointment and knew my mother would be very disappointed if she were there. "Is your family here in Rivendell? Will I get to meet them?"

"No, my wife is in service to the Lady Celebrían, she went with her to the undying lands. Our children went with her."

"Do you miss them?" It was a dumb question, but I couldn't help myself.

"Yes, but not in the way you might think. Within elven settlements, time does not pass as it does in the outside world. Ages go by quickly and almost unnoticed. Only when we leave our homes and travel does it slow and we begin to feel the passage of time. We know that we will see one another again; to them it will feel as if we only parted a short time ago; to me it will not be much different."

As we walked, I could smell the sweet fall breeze even though the grass and trees were still in the full green of summer. I understood what he meant by "time does not pass as it does in the 

outside world." I was quickly losing track of the days and wondered if the seasons changed in Rivendell at all. "Do you know why your nephew was in that tree last night?"

"He often sneaks out at night and wanders through the trees. He has a bit of wood-elf in him; I believe he gets it from him mother's side," he smiled a mischievous smile that told me that was a family joke. "He was probably eavesdropping on you and Master Baggins."

"He dropped a bit more than eaves, unfortunately. I wonder if he fell asleep listening to us? We were there a very long time."

"That is likely, I often find him asleep in the trees in the mornings. He climbs high above the canopy and looks to the south for his brother's return."

I thought about my brother and wondered if I would ever see him again. We walked out of the trees into a wide glade. There were elves and dwarves sparring and a group in healer's frocks standing off to the side. I recognized Gimli and the dwarves from the dining hall although Gloin was not among them. Lindir was also there, speaking with an elf dressed in muted shades of green and brown.

My escort turned to me and handed me the cloth bundle he had been carrying. "This is for you. I was in the kitchen gathering food for my brother and his wife and I thought you might not have time for breakfast."

"_Hannon le,_ that was very thoughtful," I said accepting the bundle. "I suppose I should start my class."

"_Tenna' ento lye omenta, mellon nín,"_ he said and turned back up the path toward the house.

I set the bundle under a near tree and walked forward into the glade. "Good morning!" I said in a loud voice and the crowd stopped what they were doing and gathered around me. "Lord Elrond has asked me to teach you a technique from my homeland. I would like to start by telling you something about myself. I do not understand Dwarvish or Elvish and your accents in the common speech are often difficult for me to follow. If I ask you to repeat yourselves several times, please bear with me. If there is something you do not understand, ask questions. This procedure is not difficult, but understanding when and when not to do it is important. Also, if it is done wrong, you can do additional damage to the patient. Finally, I will teach this class as if you will be using this knowledge in battle. Of course it may be useful at other times, but as you are nearly all warriors and at one time I was a warrior myself, I think this is the best approach."

We began with introductions and I learned that the elf Lindir had been speaking with was from Mirkwood, although not with Legolas. When I asked him about it, he looked concerned and said he was unaware that the prince would be coming to Rivendell. _I probably shouldn't have said anything about Legolas, dammit. Think before you speak!_ I asked them what they knew of battlefield medicine and found that they were all well versed in things like wound treatment, splints, tourniquets and judging blood loss, so I decided to teach them about preventing shock first.

The morning passed and I covered injury identification and positioning of wounded. We discussed checking for pulse and breathing and clearing the airway. Since fire seemed to be a favorite weapon of the Enemy, I explained smoke inhalation and burn treatment and the healers offered information about different herbs and ointments that they could share with the others. I was pleased to find that the dwarves were very attentive and receptive and even seemed to open up a little with the elves.

By the time the sun was directly overhead; I was beginning to get a little hoarse and suggested we break for lunch. I walked over to the tree where my bundle was waiting for me and sat with my back against the trunk. I opened it up and found fruits, bread, cheese and something that resembled the salted meat the twins had shared with me. I was glad to finally be able to taste what I had been missing, but the meat WAS salted and I ruefully discovered I had not thought to bring something to drink.

I looked up from the bundle in my lap and was scanning the glade for a water fountain when Gimli and another dwarf walked up. Gimli spoke in a thick accent that reminded me of Scottish. _Peter Jackson got that one right on the nose._ "I see you have no water, Lass, would you care to share mine?" he asked and offered me a water skin. _Can EVERYONE in Middle Earth read minds?_

I accepted the water skin with a grateful, "Thank you," and drank several swallows.

"We would like to express our gratitude for you taking your time to teach us. Is there anything we can do to repay you?" he said while I was drinking.

"I can't think of anything at the moment, Master Dwarf," I replied and handed the skin back to him.

"Tell me, lass. You said you were a warrior. Pardon my observation, but except for that nose, you do not look like any warrior I have ever seen."

"Oh, no offense taken. A lot of my people would say the same. I was actually more of a messenger, although I was pretty good with the weapons we used. I'd be about as useful in a swordfight as a lace condom in a whorehouse, I'd have to admit."

He looked at me puzzled, "'A lace' what?"

"Never mind; just an expression."

"You may know that dwarves are excellent smiths, perhaps if you could describe your weapons to us, we could make them for you."

I grinned and replied, "I doubt if I could describe them well enough, but thank you anyway." _The M16/A2 rifle is a 5.56 mm, magazine fed, gas-operated, air-cooled, semiautomatic or three-round burst, hand-held, shoulder-fired weapon. So much for "describe the M16"._ Then I had a thought. "Master Gimli, could you teach me how to fight with an axe?"

"I would be honored, lass. I don't know how long we will be in Rivendell, but we could get you started with one at the least."

"It's a deal!" I said and stood. "I will find out when I can start and let you know. I'm still training with the healers in the mornings and learning Elvish in the afternoons, but I'm sure I can find the time." I rewrapped my bundle and brushed the crumbs off my lap and we headed back towards the middle of the glade.

I cleared my throat and said loudly, "Fall in around me!"

The small groups that had formed during lunch dispersed and gathered around me again. "This next part requires a volunteer." The elf from Mirkwood immediately stepped forward and I told him to lie down on his back. I knelt next to him and went over CPR step by step. I couldn't help but feel a thrill at being able to touch an elf as I showed the others how to check for injuries, pulse and breathing. When we got to mouth-to-mouth I could feel my face flush. The elves either didn't notice or more likely were too polite to appear as if they noticed, but there was a jolly murmur among the dwarves.

As I leaned over to show how to listen for breath while you look for the rise and fall of the chest, I felt his warm breath against my cheek. _He's just a private. He's just a dirty, nasty private. Focus, sergeant, focus!_ There were some questions then about armor and what to do when the victim is not on a flat surface and I was able to get back my train of thought as we discussed it. Then I showed them how to determine if the jaw is broken, position it and the tongue and clear a patient's mouth with the fingers. I didn't actually put my fingers into the elf's mouth, but demonstrated on myself and showed how to thrust the elf's jaw from the outside by putting pressure on his jawbone under his ears.

I thought for a moment if I would be able to get through the next part without actually touching the elf and realized it was more important to get the information across than to worry about propriety. I swallowed and dried my lips as much as possible. Then I explained the importance of covering the victim's mouth completely with their own and pinched his nose and tilted his head back. _Here goes._ I looked down at the elf and told him to breathe in as I puffed so that the others could see his chest rise. I took a small breath and leaned over his mouth, covering it with my own. He breathed in as I breathed out and it took all I could do to keep my mind on the task. Thankfully, the dwarves were paying too much attention to the demonstration and didn't comment.

I sat up and addressed the others, "Did you see his chest rise? That's what you are looking for. If it doesn't move or if the stomach rises and not the chest, you'll have to reposition the head and neck and try again." Then I went over chest compressions and timing and showed them how to place their hands in exactly the right spot. After a few questions, I stood and thanked my demonstrator. He hopped to his feet and walked back to his place in the crowd completely unruffled. _Now it's my turn,_ I thought and smiled at the dwarves.

I told them all to pair off and practice what they had learned. The dwarves looked at one another uncomfortably and after a few moments of letting them sweat I said, "It is not necessary for you to actually perform the mouth-to-mouth. You have all seen how it is done, just pretend. And don't actually do the compressions, either," I added. I had no intention of filling up the healing rooms with dwarves and elves with broken sternums. I went around to each pair, moving hands up or down and explaining some things again.

When I had visited each pair and was satisfied they knew what they were doing, I called them together again and sat down in the grass. They all took a seat and we discussed the delicate topic of when and when not to start CPR and how to determine when to stop. It was a grave topic and everyone took it very seriously. There was a lot to consider, including one's own safety in the middle of a battle. The elves brought up the fact that the fëa would often decide for itself when to depart and I asked them how they could tell when it left.

Lindir spoke up for the first time, "It is difficult to describe, but when it happens you will know it. An elf's body grows cold as the fëa departs, even when the air temperature is warm. 

Although elves have a great capacity to withstand injury and live, the fëa may leave when there is no injury to the body at all. It is a matter of will." Lindir had such a look of pain in his eyes I could not think of anything to say.

After a few moments of silence, Gimli stood and broke the tension, "Fine lesson, lass! I believe we all have a great deal to think about. I don't know about elves, but the best place for a dwarf to think is anywhere with a mug of ale in his hand."

I laughed and stood. "Thank you all for your attention. I believe Master Gimli is correct. It is time to call it a day."

The majority of the group filed past me saying "thank you" in more than one language I didn't understand. The Mirkwood elf was smiling and he winked and bowed as he passed and I began to think maybe he HAD noticed my discomfort. Finally, there was only Lindir, Gimli and me left in the glade.

Lindir addressed us both, "Forgive me, but I could not help but overhear your conversation earlier. Lord Elrond has instructed me that you should be provided anything you require. I have no doubt that he would include weapons in that instruction. If you would care to follow me, I am sure that we can find something suitable for you."

"I'll need Master Gimli to help me, do you mind?" I looked to Gimli as I asked the question.

"Not at all! Lead on Master Elf!"

Lindir led us down another path to what looked to me like a huge barn. He opened the double doors with a key and we entered. It was full of tables and practice dummies and targets and had bows, swords, axes and halberds hanging on the walls. In one corner was a grinding wheel and in another was a stack of wooden practice weapons. Gimli went straight to the axes and I walked up to one of the tables which was laid out with hand-held weapons and quivers filled with arrows. I picked up a short knife with a silver blade and beautifully carved ivory handle. It felt good in my hand and I turned to Lindir who was walking up to me. "Do these weapons belong to anyone?"

"They belong to the Lord of Rivendell and he wishes for you to have anything you desire. Do you like that knife?" He picked up a leather sheath that had straps on both ends. "You will need this as well."

I slipped the knife into the sheath and it fit perfectly. Then I saw a pair of hatchets and asked, "Are these for throwing? I would like to have something I could use at a distance, only two shots, but as they say, 'one shot, one kill'"

"Yes, and you will also need a belt to carry them. Try this one," Lindir replied and held out a thick leather belt.

I put the belt around my waist and tightened it. It had loops over each hip and the hatchet handles slid into them like six-shooters into a holster. _"Hannon le,_ Lindir."

"No need to thank me, my Lady. You have impressed Lord Elrond through your own actions entirely. I am sure that if you were to find yourself again as Glorfindel found you, alone and weaponless, Lord Elrond would not be able to forgive himself."

Gimli was taking down axes and swinging them while we spoke. Finally he came to one he liked, "Here lass, try this one. The length looks good and it is lighter than the others." I walked over to him and took it; the head hit the floor with a thump. "Swing it a few times and tell me how it feels." He wisely took a few steps backward.

I hefted it up with a grunt and swung it clumsily, "It's a little heavy."

"You will get used to it. It has to have some weight if you expect it to split an orc skull. Do you have a harness, Master Elf?"

Lindir took a harness off the wall and helped me into it. He took the axe from me as if it were nothing and slipped the long handle into the holder on my back. "Try to take it out of the harness, mind the blade it is sharp." I reached back and grasped at nothing; he readjusted the harness until I could grab the handle just under the blade comfortably. "Try it again."

I reached back and struggled to pull the heavy axe out of the harness. Eventually, I had it out and Lindir helped me guide it back into the sheath.

"We'll practice taking it out and putting it back in first," said Gimli. "One last thing, he said and walked over to the stack of practice weapons. "I have no intention of getting my own skull cleaved, so you'll have to start with this," he said as he pulled a wooden axe with weights strapped to the head from the pile.

"Will that be all you require, my Lady?" Lindir asked, "Would you not like to try your hand at archery?"

"I think this will be more than enough, Lindir, thank you. Do you think I'll be able to start practicing soon?"

Lindir led us out of the barn and locked it. "You have earned a morning off; the healers will not be expecting you tomorrow. I will speak with Lord Elrond about rearranging your schedule. It would not be wise to put off your lessons with Lord Erestor, however. He knew that you would be here today, but he will be waiting for you tomorrow afternoon."

I remembered my homework. "Yes, of course. Lindir, How do you say "my dog ate it" in Elvish?"

"_Hú nín mad ha,_ why?"

"_Hú nín mad ha,"_ I repeated. "Oh, no reason," I smiled and addressed Gimli: "Can I start training in the morning, Master Gimli?"

"Sounds like a fine plan, lass. Meet me at the training grounds at first light."

Lindir led us back to the training grounds. I picked up the bundle of food as we passed and we went back to the house together. Lindir bid us farewell at the steps.

"Would you like to join me for dinner, lass?" Gimli asked as he handed me the wooden axe.

I took it from him and replied, "I'd love to. Let me drop these things off in my room and I'll be right back."

I ran up the stairs and down the hall to my room and flung off the harness and belt, leaning both axes against the fireplace head down. I placed the knife and hatchets on my desk, straightened my frock and took a quick look around. The bed had been straightened and there was a clean frock and shoes lying on the bed. _Sweet! A laundry service!_ The cat was on the windowsill; I walked over and unwrapped the cloth bundle and set it in front of him saying, "Help yourself; if anyone comes looking for me, I'm eating dinner with Gimli!" He looked at me with an "I am a cat, I do not care how you occupy your time," expression and I left.

I met Gimli at the bottom of the stairs and we walked along in the twilight towards a group of cottages situated around a large house. "Now you will sample Dwarf cuisine. Not as fancy as Lord Elrond's table, but a sight more comfortable!" He led me into the house. It was more of a pub really; there were three or four round tables with several dwarves already eating and laughing loudly. The air was smoky and I wished I still had the pipe Bilbo had given me. The dwarf who was with Gimli at lunch came up to us with two mugs of what had to be beer; he gave me one and Gimli the other.

"Thank you!" I said as I accepted the cold mug. Gimli took me over to a large table where Gloin was sitting.

He rose and spoke authoritatively, "I have been hearing good things about you, my Lady! Please sit with us and share our meal."

"At your service and your family's Master Gloin," I replied with a deep bow.

Gimli laughed and patted me on the back hard enough for it to sting, "You may have these elves fooled lass, but you can't fool us! You are an oversized dwarf, are you not?"

"I'm flattered that you would honor me so, but as you can see I have no beard," I replied and we sat down on simple wooden chairs with plush cushions. _Thank God for tweezers or I would have, though._

"So you haven't! We won't hold that against you! Tell us about yourself, how did you come to Rivendell? Were you really found alone and without weapons?" Gimli asked.

"I was. But I can't tell you how I got on the road; I don't know myself," I replied as I took a good long pull from the mug.

Gimli took out a simple wooden pipe with a long curved stem and began filling it from a pouch at his belt. I looked at it longingly. "Do you smoke, lass?"

"I do, but I haven't got a pipe or any tobac . . . er, pipe-weed at the moment."

"We can remedy that!" Another long-stemmed wooden pipe was produced from somewhere behind Gloin and Gimli filled it from his pouch and handed it to me. "You drink beer and smoke a pipe; you've definitely got some dwarf in you, lass." He offered me the filled pipe. "You may keep that, if you like."

I waited for the inevitable bad joke: "if you don't have a little dwarf in you, would you like one?" But thankfully it never came. "Thank you very much, Master Gimli." I took the pipe and lit it myself and sat back to enjoy the company.

"Please lass, just call me Gimli. You'll probably be calling me much worse by the time we are finished training tomorrow."

"Training?" asked Gloin.

Gimli then explained to Gloin the arrangement we had made earlier. They continued to talk as I smoked and sat quietly and by the time I'd finished my pipe, the food arrived. There were all the things you would expect at a dwarf's table: thick slices of red meat drowning in gravy, bowls of mashed potatoes, and huge loaves of buttery bread. It was a hearty meal with hearty ale and I was made to feel like one of the family. There was laughter and music. When we finished eating, the dwarves all loosened their belts and refilled their pipes. Gimli refilled mine and we talked for a long time about his home. I was getting used to their accents and I could even understand most of their jokes. I asked Gloin about his adventure with Bilbo and everyone gathered around to listen to the tale.

Eventually, it was time for me to go back to my room and sleep it off. Gimli escorted me back to the house and as we staggered together I silently prayed I would not have a hangover in the morning. When we reached the steps I had a wicked thought and turned to him, "Gimli . . ."

"Yesh lass?" he slurred.

"If you ever have the chance to challenge an elf to a drinking game, take it. You're sure to win, they can't hold their ale."

"I'll remember that, lassh. Have a good rest; I'll shee you in the morning. Oh, and leave the hatchets and axe behind, you won't need them. Just bring the training weapon and your harness."

"Roger. Goodnight, Gimli. Thanks for everything." I patted my pipe and the pouch of pipe-weed he'd given me and turned and went back to my room.

When I got there, I went directly to the closet and undressed. I hung up the frock I was wearing and the one that had been on my bed. I straightened the shoes I'd flung in there earlier as well as the ones I was wearing and the ones from the bed. I put on my slippers and pjs minus the over-shirt and went back to my desk. I lit the candle and sat down to finish my homework. After a while, I poured myself some tea and sat back to rest my eyes. I thought about lighting the pipe, but remembered that elves weren't big on smoking so decided not to. Then it hit me. I didn't have anything to wear tomorrow! The elf lady was going to take me to the tailor yesterday, but my lesson with Erestor lasted so long I forgot. The healer's frocks were comfortable, but regardless of how cool Neo looked they weren't very practical for weapons training. "There's nothing I can do about it, now. I'll wear the frock if I have to," I muttered to myself. I took another sip of tea and finished my work.

When I was done, I blew out the candle, kicked off my slippers and crawled between the covers. I fell asleep trying not to picture myself swinging the axe and getting it caught up in my frock.

* * *

_'Quel amrun, mellon nín_: Good morning, my friend.  
_Quel esta, ascarer_: Rest well, impetuous one.  
_Tenna' ento lye omenta, mellon nín,_: Until next we meet, my friend.


	14. Training with Gimli

Training with Gimli and facing the inevitable by Elaura

**Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay in chapters, work has been killing me!**

**IMPORTANT NOTE Do NOT attempt any of the survival techniques or "medical" procedures described in this story. This is a work of FICTION. I am NOT a survivalist, I have no formal medical training and I am NOT a nutritionist.**

* * *

I woke suddenly and had the horrible feeling I had overslept. I looked out the window and the sun was already high in the sky. "SHIT! I'M LATE!" I jumped out of bed, yanked the axe out of the harness, shoved the training axe into it and threw it over my shoulder. I bolted out the door and ran as fast as I could through the house and down the path. I felt branches whipping my face as I raced through the forest, the harness bumping against my backside. The path seemed ten times longer than it had yesterday and I began to think that I'd gotten myself lost. Just as I was certain I WAS lost, I burst out into the training ground. The glade was full of people and they all turned to look at me. Elves, dwarves, men, _(men?)_ and hobbits _(hobbits?!)_. Just then, I noticed my feet were cold and wet. I looked down, my feet were bare. _Oh NO!_ I looked up a little higher, my legs were bare, too. _Oh SHIT!_ There I was, standing in the middle of the training ground, surrounded by all the free peoples of Middle Earth, wearing nothing but a harness and a training axe! "OH FUCK!" I yelled and sat bolt upright in bed. "Jesus, I hate those dreams!" I quickly checked the window; it was still quite dark outside. I sighed heavily and grumbled to myself, "It's no wonder I had a naked dream, I still don't have anything appropriate to wear today."

I rolled out of bed and opened the closet door. As I stood, I realized I did have a bit of a hangover, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I grabbed my cloak and headed for the door; on my way out I put on my slippers. I went to the kitchen still grumbling to myself, "No cigarettes, no coffee and nothing to wear! I don't even know where the fucking tailor is. Hell, even if I did, I don't know what I really need." I stumbled groggily into the kitchen and started rummaging through the cupboards, opening and closing them none too gently. I heard someone clear his throat in the doorway.

"A-hem. You seem to be somewhat agitated this morning, is there anything I can do for you?" Erestor asked.

I turned to him quickly and said in an exasperated tone, "Not unless you have a pack of Marlboros, a Mr. Coffee and a spare set of clothes hidden in that robe, my Lord."

"The first two I cannot help you with, for I do not know what they are, but if you tell me what clothing you require I may be able to assist you," he replied with a kind smile that made me feel like he could (and would) do anything just to make me feel better.

"Well, my Lord. I have a training session with Master Gimli this morning (he's teaching me how to wield an axe) and all I have are dresses and my healer's frocks. I don't know where the tailor is and I'm not even sure what I should wear anyway. And how is it that my clothes disappear and are returned clean as if magic ninjas are sneaking into my room while I'm gone?"

"'Ninjas?'" I shook my head and he continued, "Is that all that is troubling you? I think we can solve your clothing problem easily enough. "

"Bless you, Lord Erestor. What do you have in mind? I doubt the mall is open at this hour."

"'Mall'? I do not believe we have a 'mall' in Rivendell. I was thinking of Glorfindel's closet. His shoulders are broader than mine, and you are about the same height, I think his clothes will fit you."

I suddenly wasn't so sure, I really didn't want to be in the middle of a Glorfindel/Erestor prank-fic, "My Lord, wouldn't he be upset to find his closet was raided in his absence?"

"No, my dear. Glorfindel owes me a favor; I am transferring it to you. Besides, he is not the possessive orc others make him out to be; just because he slew a balrog does not mean he has the personality of one. He is very generous and kind. In addition, the elfling you attended in the forest is one of his favorite pupils. I know Glorfindel better than anyone else in Arda and he would be happy to lend you clothing, especially for training to fight."

"If you say so; lead the way, my Lord!"

Erestor took me down the hallway towards his room, we passed it and he opened the doors decorated in animal carvings with a key. He went directly through into the bedroom, but I decided it was wiser to wait in the parlor. Shortly, he came out with a pair of brown leather trousers and matching tunic, a beige linen shirt and a pair of travel-worn, brown leather boots.

"I think these will do nicely. Glorfindel has not worn them in a very long time, I doubt he even knows he still has them," Erestor said with a reassuring grin, but when he saw that I wasn't convinced he added: "Do not worry, _mellon nín_, I promise you Glorfindel will not be angry."

"Thank you very much, my Lord. I must get back to my room; I don't want to keep Master Gimli waiting."

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" he asked.

"Actually, two things. First, do you know where I can get a water skin?"

"You may have one of mine." He led me back out of the room and locked the door behind us. "You said two things, what is the other?"

"Where are my clothes going when I'm gone? What exactly is the protocol for the laundry service? Do I leave a note, or a tip?" I asked as he stepped inside his room to retrieve the water skin.

"If you leave your soiled clothing out in the open in your room in the morning, it will be taken and laundered for you by the time you return in the evening. There is no need to leave a note. What is a 'tip'?" He said as he handed me a clean, empty water skin.

"A tip is a custom of my people. It is a monetary "gift" left in return for good service. I'm still not sure I feel comfortable letting others do for me, my Lord. Lindir told me that the elves who serve Lord Elrond do it out of love, but they haven't pledged their service to me. I don't want to be a burden here. I feel I've already taken advantage of the hospitality of this household, you included."

"Nonsense. This is how things are done. There are elves whose only duty is to make sure our clothing is clean and in good repair. Those in service here are honored to serve everyone, you included. Would you reserve your skills from someone simply because you did not know them? Are you not honored to be a healer in Rivendell? It is the same for them, I assure you."

I thought about the many visitors in Rivendell. Surely the dwarves did not bring all that wonderful food all the way from the Lonely Mountain. "Since you put it that way, yes I AM honored to serve here. Thanks again, you've really saved my life."

He laughed, "I doubt that even a dwarf would have killed you for wearing a dress to the training field, but you are welcome, just the same. I will meet you here this afternoon, enjoy your training."

"I'll be here, my Lord."

I turned and hurried back down the hall to my room, I saw that the sky was getting paler, but dawn hadn't broken yet so I dropped off the skin and clothes and raced down the hall to the healing wing. I grabbed a roll of bandages out of an empty room and raced back. I pulled off my cloak and pajamas and began strapping my breasts down with the bandage. When I finished, I stepped into the leather pants. They were definitely long enough, but they were quite tight in the rear. Luckily, they laced across the front with a leather flap on the inside so I tied them loosely and hoped they wouldn't stretch out of shape by the time I could return them to Glorfindel and get my own clothes. I put on the linen shirt over my head and it fit very well. It laced over the chest and buttoned at the cuffs. I then pulled on the boots and although they were also a little tight, without socks I was sure they would be fine.

I brushed my teeth and hair, putting it back into a ponytail and vowed I would figure out how to put it in a bun later. I switched out the real axe for the training axe and filled my water skin from the pitcher. I put the tunic on and then I took the hatchets out of the belt and strapped it on, remembering to tuck my pipe into my tunic and attach the leather pouch to the belt. The harness went on over everything. Finally, I slung the water skin over my shoulder. I scanned the room and remembered to pull out my dirty clothes. Leaving my pjs, the frock from yesterday and my velvet dress on top of the unmade bed, I headed out to the training field.

I met Gimli just as the sun was peeking up over the mountains. "Good morning, Lassie! Now you look like a warrior!" He was wearing the same rugged, battle worn leathers he had been wearing the day before, the only addition was a battered pewter helmet. _Good thinking._

"Good morning, Gimli."

He had me kneel down and he took the wooden axe out of the harness. Then he took the weights off the head and put it back. "First thing you must learn is how to get your axe and put it away quickly."

After about an hour, when I had gotten the feel of where it was, he put half the weights back on the head and we continued. Several hours of "Again lass, faster!" passed and I WAS 

calling him worse things than "Gimli," but I'd finally gotten to the point that I could take my training axe out of the harness and return it without missing the sheath. "That is enough for today lassie; we will add the rest of the weight at our next session," Gimli said finally. "You have come a long way in a short time; do you wish to continue tomorrow?"

"Are you kidding me?! That was fantastic! Of course I'll be back tomorrow! I don't know exactly how long I'll be able to practice with you, but I'll find a way to be here at first light. Um, I'm sorry about the names I called you."

"It takes a good sight more than a few curses and names to offend a dwarf lassie, although you DID manage to teach me a few new words . . . what exactly does 'fuck' mean? It seems to be very versatile."

I laughed, "Let's just say it isn't something you'd want to repeat in polite company, Gimli. It's one of those warrior-words you wouldn't want your mother to know you know."

"You do not know my mother lass," he said and laughed heartily. "I would invite you to come have a drink with me, but I understand you have to go to your lessons."

"Unfortunately," I sighed. "Would you care to escort a lady back to the house?"

"Certainly lass. Let me know when you see one" he replied with a jolly grin.

I whipped out my wooden axe and held it to his throat, laughing, "I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground."

He disarmed me and threw me on my back in a flash and his axe was at my throat. I barely understood him through his laughter, "You would die before your stroke fell, lassie."

"I guess you're going to have to teach me how to do that faster, then."

"Would you like to sit and have a smoke with me before going back to the house?" Gimli asked as he helped me up.

"That's a great idea." We went over to the trees and Gimli helped me out of my harness, setting both of our axes against a tree. We sat with our backs against the trunk watching the many others who had arrived to train while we were practicing. We filled our bowls and lit our pipes and drank from our skins. It was a lovely day, warm with a breeze.

I was astonished at the speed and skill of the dwarves and elves as they practiced. I saw the elf from Mirkwood practicing with his bow. The target was on one end of the glade and he was on the other. He never missed the bull's-eye. He had fired the last arrow and was gathering them from the target, putting them back in his quiver when he noticed me watching him. He came over to where we were sitting and sat down with us, a little upwind. His hair was long and blonde and he looked like he could easily be kin to Legolas, at least as he was portrayed by Orlando Bloom. I emptied my pipe and put it back in my tunic as he began to speak.

_"Mae govannen"_ he greeted us. Gimli nodded and continued smoking. "I was watching you practice, my Lady. Is this your first lesson with an axe?"

"It was that obvious, was it?" I answered.

"You did well; Master Gimli is a very good teacher, it appears." Gimli grunted and smiled slightly at the compliment. I remembered the son of Gloin would not have forgotten his father's treatment at the hands of the Mirkwood elves.

"Yes, he is. Very patient, too," I responded.

"I'd like to talk to you about something you said yesterday." _Uh oh. Here it comes. I knew I should've kept my mouth shut._ "You asked about Prince Legolas . . ."

"Yes."

"A rider from Mirkwood arrived this morning. He is a scout for the Prince's party; they will arrive before sundown. How is it that you knew he was coming?"

At this, Gimli took the pipe out of his mouth and looked at me curiously. I prayed silently for a plot bunny to hop out and save me. _Don't lie. Lying is bad. It will come back to haunt you. Oh geez, where's that plot bunny?!_ After a pregnant pause that was just about to give birth, I decided to ease into an explanation.

"I had hoped to have a chance to explain myself to Gandalf first . . . but I don't think he'll get here for another several days yet." They both began to look at me with a mixture of awe and suspicion. I took a deep breath, "As you can see, I'm not from around here. In fact, I'm the only one of my people in Middle Earth as far as I know." Although, I was constantly looking for a Mary Sue to pop out from behind a bush and stun everyone with her beauty and talent. "I truly don't know how I got here, but where I'm from this place is part of a story. A legend, even. In any case, it is a story whose ending has already been written."

The elf had knitted his brow and was looking at me warily, "And are you a part of this 'story'?"

"No. I'm not. I shouldn't be here and I'm afraid that my existence here will change things and the story won't end the way it's supposed to."

Gimli had been silent, but now spoke quietly, "Then THIS story hasn't been written at all. Tell me Lass, what do you know of me?"

I decided to stick with things that have already happened. "I know that Dáin is still King under the Mountain. I know that the shadow growing in the east is a great worry to your people. I also know that you are concerned about the fate of those who left the mountain bound for Moria and that you've come to ask advice about them. Last, I know that your people have been visited by emissaries of Sauron who asked you of hobbits." Gimli stifled a gasp that told me I'd remembered correctly and when I said "Sauron" both the dwarf and the elf visibly stiffened.

The elf spoke then in a very grave tone, "And what do you know of the Prince's errand?"

"He is coming to report that a creature being held in Mirkwood has escaped." The elf's mouth dropped open.

Just then Erestor appeared, _You're a little late to be my plot bunny,_I grumbled in my mind. He'd approached noiselessly and was standing over us before I saw him. "I came to see if you were finished with your training. I think however, we will forgo your lesson this afternoon. It seems it is time for you to speak with Lord Elrond."

I stood with the feeling that I was being sent to the principal's office. Gimli stood too and resting his hand on the handle of his axe said in a protective tone that surprised me, "Master elf. I should like to accompany the Lady."

As much as I needed a friend, I was afraid of Gimli's temper so I spoke before Erestor could reply, "It's ok, Gimli. I knew this would happen eventually. I'll be fine." I picked up the harness and slung it over my shoulder.

"As you wish, my Lady. I will see you here in the morning?" Gimli asked, but it didn't sound as much like a question as a warning to Erestor.

"I'll be here, I promise." I looked at the elf who had stood when Erestor spoke to me. "I know you're worried. I swear I'm not one of the bad guys. I'd rather die than hurt you or your people."

Erestor turned up the path without another word and I followed him. I heard Gimli behind me: "Well done, elf! If she were in Mirkwood, your king would probably throw her in the dungeons!"

"Then let us be glad she came to Rivendell, Master Dwarf," he replied in a tone that sounded like regret.

I ran a few steps to catch up with Erestor, "I said something I shouldn't have, didn't I? I couldn't lie, you know. They would've known if I was lying or trying to hide something. You said so yourself."

He stopped and smiled at me, "You have done nothing wrong, _mellon nín._ In fact I am glad that you took my advice to heart. It is simply time for you to speak to Lord Elrond. You are strong enough now to face your destiny and you will need his guidance. It is a shame that Mithrandir is not here, but you will not have to tell your tale twice. It will be relayed to him when he arrives."

"And to the Lady Galadriel?"

A flash of surprise crossed his face but disappeared, "And to the Lady Galadriel."

We continued walking toward the house in silence. When we arrived, Erestor took me to another part of the house I had not yet seen. He led me into an enormous library and I saw that Elrond was sitting at a large table bent over many parchments. On one corner of the table, sitting very regally was the white cat. The cat watched us enter, but Elrond did not look up until Erestor spoke, "My Lord. The time has come. Our guest is ready."

Elrond looked up, "Please sit." He gestured to two high-backed leather chairs opposite his desk. He sat back and placed his hands together in his lap. I took my harness off my shoulder and laid it on the floor beside my chair. Erestor and I sat and I waited, nervously. Although 

the chair was comfortable, I wasn't. I sat at the position of attention with my feet flat on the floor and my hands on my knees as if I was at a board . . . or a court martial.

"Relax," Elrond said with a smile, but I couldn't. "You have nothing to fear. I can see you are not a spy of the Enemy. Begin by telling us who you are."

Since we had already been introduced, I assumed he didn't want my name. I began, "I am a sergeant in the United States Army. I realize this means nothing to you. The United States is a country that does not exist in Arda. Frankly, I don't know if Arda is, was or will ever be on my planet, which my people call Earth. Middle Earth is a place in a story written by Professor J. R. R. Tolkien, an author and linguist who lived in another country of Earth called England. He was dead by the time I came here. He wrote a history of the elves called The Silmarillion. He also wrote the story of Bilbo Baggins and his adventure with the dwarves to the Lonely Mountain, that book was called The Hobbit. He wrote the history of the Great War of the Ring in three books, beginning with Bilbo's one hundred and eleventh birthday and ending with Samwise Gamgee's return to the Shire after Frodo, Bilbo, you, Gandalf and the Lady Galadriel (the ring bearers) leave from the Grey Havens bound for the Undying Lands. There were also prologues and appendices which covered family trees, chronologies and the languages of Middle Earth." I paused to let this sink in and to gauge Elrond's response to it. The cat hopped from the desk into my lap and curled up after knitting for a few moments on my tunic. _At least the cat knows I'm harmless._

"I see. You have read these books?" Elrond had no readable expression on his face and I did not look at Erestor.

I began to pet the cat unconsciously as I spoke again, "Yes, my Lord. But I am afraid I don't remember much of The Silmarillion; I read it a long time ago. I do remember a great deal about The Lord of the Rings trilogy, though. I know that as written, Sauron as well as Saruman are destroyed. Frodo and Samwise, with the unlikely help of Gollum manage to make it to the Cracks of Doom and they destroy the One Ring.

Elrond stopped me here by raising his right hand, "You say that Saruman will be destroyed and Frodo will have the One Ring. Please explain these things."

"If I remember correctly, Mithrandir suspected the ring Bilbo stole from Gollum was Sauron's ring. Bilbo left his ring to Frodo when he left the Shire and came here. Mithrandir went to see Saruman about it and was imprisoned in Orthanc. Saruman was tempted by Sauron and is now in league with him but has his own plans of world domination. Mithrandir told Frodo to bring the ring here and Aragorn is leading Frodo, Sam, Pippin and Merry to Rivendell. Glorfindel will find them in the nick of time, but you should be prepared; Frodo is already being chased by the Black Riders and the Witch King of Angmar will wound him with his blade. He will be very sick when he gets here; a piece of the blade will still be inside him."

"You say you read this in a book?" Elrond asked.

"Yes," I replied with a sigh, "I don't expect you to believe me, but when Mithrandir gets here, I think you'll find I'm right."

"Then perhaps we should continue when he arrives. Your tale deserves much consideration. Erestor and I shall stay and discuss this. In the meantime, you may continue training with Master Gimli in the mornings if you like. You should report to the healers after the mid-day meal beginning tomorrow. Erestor will make arrangements to tutor you in the evenings. I would expect you have not eaten yet, and you look tired. Go to the kitchens and eat and rest. You have nothing to fear, my dear. You have done nothing wrong. Be at ease."

I set the cat on the floor and took my leave. "Thank you for your understanding, my Lords," I said and the cat followed me out into the hall.


	15. A trip to the tailor

A trip to the tailor and Legolas' stern warning by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**You guys and my mom is starting to bug me about naming characters. I didn't want to because I'm afraid the names will sound too contrived (and I'm trying to see how far I can go before I really, **_**really**_** have to name them). Any feedback on the subject of character names would be especially appreciated.**

The cat and I had a one-way conversation as we walked: "Wonderful; from suspect to celebrity back to suspect in 48 hours. That must be a record, Kitty. I don't suppose you could show me where the Lane Bryant is around here? I wonder if they'll be able to make me a prison-orange jumpsuit?" I wandered the halls deep in thought until I reached my door again. The cat stayed with me, and the thought crossed my mind that that was kind of odd for a cat. "Have you been assigned to guard me, Kitty?" I stood my harness and training axe next to the real one. "At least they haven't confiscated my weapons." I left the belt on and decided to strap the knife to my right calf. I wasn't used to being without my Gerber and it made me more comfortable to have the knife with me. It was still mid-afternoon and the sunlight was streaming in through the window. The bed was made, but there was no sign of the clothes I had left out that morning. I remembered the bundle of food I had left for the cat the day before and couldn't remember if it had been there last night, but it was definitely gone, now. "Well, let's go to the kitchen and get something to eat." As we headed towards the kitchen I was still talking to the cat who was close at my heels. "What am I going to call you? You probably already have a name in Elvish, something unpronounceable I bet. You look a little like Mr. Bigglesworth before he lost his hair, but your nose isn't squashed. Hmmm. How about Macavity?" The cat rubbed my legs and I took that as a "yes." "All right, Macavity, let's go get some vittles."

When we arrived in the kitchen, I found it was already occupied. Exactly where I'd met him the other day sat Bilbo, surrounded by parchments again. He had a mug of ale at his elbow. "Good afternoon, Bilbo!"

He looked up and grinned, "Good afternoon, my dear! How are you today?"

"Could be better, but at least I'm not in the dungeons . . . yet. I'm very sorry for yelling at you the other night. Really."

"Pish-posh! Don't think another thing about it. It's nice to see a woman who can take charge of a situation. I dare say it's hard to get elves to take a person seriously; sometimes I have to get quite stern with them myself. What's this about dungeons? Rivendell doesn't have any dungeons that I know of. Sit down and tell me about it."

I couldn't picture Bilbo getting stern with anyone, except maybe a Sackville-Baggins. I rummaged through the cabinets and the cat jumped up on the table and sat in the middle of the parchment Bilbo had been bent over. I found some bread and meat and cheese and used my knife to cut them into sandwich sized pieces. I cut up some extra for Macavity and grabbed a mug and filled it from a keg in the corner and sat across from Bilbo. I took a swallow of the ale; it was much lighter than the dwarves' beer. "I had to speak with Lord Elrond about who I am and what I'm doing here and I'm afraid he thinks I'm either crazy or dangerous or both."

I was putting a couple sandwiches together and sharing with the cat while Bilbo gathered up his papers.

"If Elrond thought you were dangerous, you would have a more fearsome escort than a cat, my dear." Macavity looked at Bilbo then and I imagined he could be quite fearsome if anyone tried to take his food from him; for that matter, I was sure Bilbo would put up a fight as well. "I think I know you well enough to know you aren't mad."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me," I replied and my mood lightened. "I was going to visit the boy when I was finished eating. Would you care to join me?"

"Certainly. I've taken quite a shine to him these past few years. He reminds me of Frodo. He's so inquisitive and always has time to listen to an old hobbit's tales."

We finished eating and I cleared the table. We stopped at Bilbo's room so that he could drop off his parchments. Macavity apparently had business elsewhere and left us at Bilbo's door. We reached the elfling's room and found his uncle sitting with him. "How is he?" I whispered.

The elf stood and smiled. "He is better. He opened his eyes this afternoon. He is very sore, but he was able to move his fingers and toes."

"He's a strong lad," said Bilbo. "He'll be right as rain soon enough, mark my words."

I walked over to the bed. The boy was sleeping and there was a rosy glow on his cheeks. Bilbo walked up beside me and said quietly, "Is there any doubt in your mind lass, that you are welcome? You were meant to be here, the Valar do not make mistakes."

The elf looked at me questioningly, but didn't speak. I smiled at him and then looked down at Bilbo's grey head; it barely came up high enough to see the elfling. The boy did look something like Elijah Wood. His hair was dark brown, but straight and long like the other elves. His green eyes were closed but normally they were very large and curious. "Where are his parents?" I asked his uncle.

"They have gone to their home to change clothes and eat. When they return, would you like me to take you to the tailor? My brother's wife told me that she had intended to take you there but had not had the chance before the accident."

"I would like that very much, if it isn't any trouble. These clothes belong to Glorfindel and I'm afraid I'm stretching them in all the wrong places."

"Master Baggins," the elf then addressed Bilbo, "would you care to accompany us?"

"No my boy. I think I shall go back to my room and have a rest. I never did like shopping overmuch, unless it was for food," Bilbo replied with a jolly chuckle and turned and hobbled toward the door. "You will let him know I came to visit, then?"

"Of course, Master Baggins. He will be very sorry he missed you."

After Bilbo left, we sat in front of the fireplace. I realized that even though there were similar fireplaces in nearly every room, I had yet to see one lit. I asked about it, "Does it really ever get cold enough in Rivendell to have a fire?"

"Yes. Do not be fooled by this mild weather. In winter, even the influence of the elves cannot hold back the chill. We may not feel the cold as you do, but some among us are more susceptible than others. Besides, a warm fire in winter sets a lovely mood, does it not?"

"Yes, very cozy. I will be happy to have one when winter comes, if I'm still here."

"Oh, are you planning to travel? Perhaps back to your homeland?"

"I have no idea. I don't know if it's possible to return to my home. Truth be told, if I had the choice I would never go back."

"Do you not have a family? A home?"

"I'd miss my mother and her husband. My brother and his family, too, but I have no husband or children of my own and I'm certain they would all be just fine without me. As for a home, my home has always been wherever I happened to be. I've traveled and lived in many lands and never really got attached to any one place."

"You may yet find a home and you are still young enough to start a family."

"Maybe by elven standards, but by the standards of men, my biological clock has just about run out. I am no Dúnadan. I'll have 30 or 40 years more if I'm lucky, but having a child at my age is unlikely, even if I DID find Mr. Right."

"The only thing one can be certain of in life is that nothing is certain. Only the Valar know how your story will end."

I was struck dumb by his choice of words. After several long minutes with no sound except for the elfling's breathing, his parents arrived and we both stood. The boy's mother went straight to his bed and touched his hand. His father walked up to us. The two exchanged words in Elvish and I walked to the other side of the bed facing my friend.

"He woke today. I hope that this accident will teach him to be more prudent, but somehow I do not believe so," she said.

"You wouldn't really want him to change, would you? His love of life is too precious to be replaced with fear," I replied and a mental picture of Orlando Bloom flitted through my mind. _He must really give his mother fits._

"You are right, _mellon nín,_ but his carelessness will be the death of his father and me."

"I doubt it. I've never heard of a parent dying of fear yet," I smiled and she grinned back.

Then the red-haired elf spoke, "I am taking our guest to the tailor, I shall return this evening. Please tell him that Master Baggins was here to see him, if he awakes."

"I will. Make sure she gets everything she needs," then to me, "I am sorry I could not take you myself."

"I understand, goodnight."

The males did that half-nod, half-bow thing and we left the room. It was still late afternoon as we walked out of the house. The western side of the valley was sinking into shadow and the mountaintops in the east were bathed in an orange glow. The tailor's "shop" was really just a small house down the path halfway between Elrond's house and the dwarf cottages. The path widened in front of it and there was a male elf sitting in a beautifully carved rocking chair on the stone porch. He was hand-sewing something which he put down as we approached. _"Mae govannen"_ he said as he stood. He was a little shorter than me and had brown eyes and long brown hair pulled back on the sides and plaited together down his back.

"Good afternoon," I replied, with a slight bow. The bowing thing was pretty natural for me because of my time stationed in Asia and I was really getting the hang of the accents.

"Our new healer needs clothing," my escort said and gestured to me.

"Are the frocks I sent insufficient, my Lady?" the tailor asked.

"Oh no. They fit perfectly, but as you can see I have need of clothing in addition to those for healing." I replied, indicating Glorfindel's clothes. "I am also in need of, uh, _undergarments._"

"'Undergarments'? What sort of undergarments?" he asked.

I blushed. _Where the hell is this modesty coming from all of a sudden?_ "Can we go inside? I think I need to show you something." We went into the house as I explained, "I need clothes to train in. Like these. They're borrowed and I want to return them before the leather molds to my body shape." I took off the belt and tunic and began unlacing the shirt.

The tailor gestured to a screen and I went behind it and pulled the tunic off over my head. "I need you to see this," I said and the tailor stepped around the screen.

"Oh, I see," he replied when he saw the bandages wrapped around my breasts.

"I guess I'm a little bigger in the chest than elven women. I need something to support these when I'm not wearing a dress with a bodice. Something I can wear under my healer's uniforms, too. I can draw a picture of what the women in my home wear, if you like."

"That will not be necessary. I believe I have seen what you need. I have been acquainted with many Edan women in my long life, my Lady," he said with a wry smile.

I smiled and made a mental note that at least some elves didn't have any problem having relationships with human women. "There's something else . . ." I trailed off.

He raised his eyebrows and waited for me to continue.

"There's this thing that happens every month. I don't have a clue if it happens to female elves, but if you've known Edain you probably have an idea what I'm getting at."

He laughed quietly, "Yes, my Lady. I know what you are referring to. As a matter of fact, something similar does happen to female elves. I will have the appropriate garments made for you. May I take a few measurements?"

"Yes, please. As you can see these trousers are a little tight in the rear. I really like the brown leather and the tunic is nearly perfect."

He was moving quickly around me with a knotted piece of string, taking down notes on a piece of paper on a table near the screen. "Please remove the bandages so that I can get an accurate measurement of your bust."

"OK." I unwrapped the bandages as I continued, "Do you need me to unlace the trousers, too? My tummy and butt are a little squashed."

"Yes, that would be helpful." He was very professional, but I caught a twinkle in his eye and the corners of his mouth turned up slightly when I lowered my trousers over my butt, keeping my pubic area covered. _Now what in Middle Earth would an elf see in me? Maybe he likes a little "junk in the trunk"? No wonder elves are merry._

He stood on my right side and wrapped the string around my chest over my breasts, then dropped it around my waist and finally my rear. His warm fingers barely brushed my skin as he worked, but I felt my face get hot and knew I was blushing again. "You may dress now. I am finished," he said as he jotted down the last of the measurements. He went back around the screen and I could hear him shuffling some cloth and speaking quietly in Elvish to my escort while I dressed.

"Um, I'll probably need more than one set. As I said, I like the leather pants and tunic, but I'd like at least one more pair of trousers and two or three shirts, if it isn't asking too much. I'm sorry if I'm assuming a lot, one set is just fine, I mean." I was running on at the mouth. I really didn't know what to expect, or what would be too much.

"If you have no other clothing at all, as I have been told, you will need two more pairs of trousers in addition to the leather and at least three shirts. Do you plan to wear these clothes instead of dresses? I understand this is the custom of your people."

_Just like the army, no secrets._ "Yes, that would be wonderful." I stepped back around the screen and found he had laid out several bolts of fabric on a table. They were all complementary shades of autumn leaves and muted greens. "This is lovely," I said as I picked up an end of rust-colored cloth that felt like Egyptian cotton.

"I believe these would suit your complexion and hair color," the tailor stated.

"You have quite an eye for fashion. These are perfect. Do you make boots as well?"

"I do not, but I will have them made for you. Are those comfortable?" He nodded to the ones on my feet.

"They're actually a little tight across the arch, but the length is good. A half-size larger would be nice."

"Then if that is all you require, I will have the clothes delivered to your room within a few days. It has been a pleasure meeting you," he said with a wink and a bow that told me he hadn't missed my embarrassment and probably enjoyed it.

"_Hannon le,"_ I replied and we left.

As we crossed the threshold there was a company of elves I hadn't seen before passing in front of us. They all had pale blonde hair and their eyes in the twilight looked almost neon blue. _This has GOT to be the group from Mirkwood._ I spotted the Mirkwood elf from the training ground and knew that I was right. He saw me and he and the elf he had been walking with stopped and walked up to us.

"_Mae govannen,"_ I said and bowed.

"This is the lady I spoke to you about, my Prince." _Oh my God! It's Legolas!_

"It is a pleasure to meet you, your majesty," I said and bowed again.

Legolas was as handsome as I had imagined. His pale, perfect skin glowed in the deepening dusk and the last ray of sunlight over the ridge struck his head making his hair look like a halo of silver. He gazed at me intently through those neon-blue eyes and I felt my knees buckle. Then he sternly said something that made my heart shatter: "My lady, I do not know how you were aware of my errand, but it is my desire that you do not speak of it again. I will not suffer a spy amongst my people. Please stay away from me and my company."

"Um, uh," I stuttered, "I'm sorry. Please, let me explain."

"I have urgent business with Lord Elrond. I will seek you out if I feel the need to speak with you again."

_Don't call us, we'll call you._ I was crushed. "Of course, your majesty," I said and bowed, looking at the ground. They turned and left without another word.

_I will NOT fucking cry!_ "Well, that didn't exactly happen the way I'd pictured it," I laughed to cover the hurt. My companion was staring after Legolas with a stunned look.

"My lady, I know that Mirkwood has been under attack for a long time, you should not take the prince's words personally. His people are very wary of strangers."

"Oh, I understand. If I were in his position I wouldn't be too friendly either. He's got bad news and I'm sure what he has to tell Lord Elrond has injured his pride, let alone the fact that many of his people were killed because of it."

"Is this what he asked you not to speak of?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Don't worry, I'll honor his wishes. I need a drink, do you mind if I find my own way back to the house? Thank you very much for bringing me to get some clothes."

"It was my pleasure, my Lady."

He went back towards the house and I walked up the path towards the dwarves' cottages. I walked straight into the main house and found Gimli smoking his pipe at a table with a mug of beer in front of him. He stood and grinned when he saw me. "Lassie! I was afraid the elves had locked you up!" He saw the grim look on my face and added, "have a seat, lass, I'll get you a drink."

I sat at the table and filled my pipe and lit it. When he returned with a mug of beer I looked up at him and said glumly, "At least you aren't mad at me."

"Why would I be mad at you, lass? Anything that makes these elves uncomfortable suits me right down to the ground!"

"I thought you might be a little unnerved by what I said earlier. You aren't even worried about how I knew those things?"

"It's true you surprised me, but dwarves are excellent judges of character. I know you have no evil in you. If you have knowledge of what is going on in these troubled times, it is just as dangerous for you as it is for me. You did not lie even though it would have saved you from whatever consequences you suffered at the hands of Elrond. If you wanted to cause trouble, you wouldn't have come here, you would have kept your mouth shut and made for Mordor, would you not?"

I smiled. "I suffered no consequences from Lord Elrond. He probably just thinks I'm crazy, but he did say that I could continue to train with you in the mornings, if that's ok with you?"

"Excellent! I think perhaps we should meet here from now on, though. I do not relish the company of elves."

"Sounds good to me," I said as I drained my mug.

We sat and chatted over a couple more mugs of ale. Other dwarves began to arrive and I stayed for another excellent meal. We didn't talk anymore about what I knew and Gimli didn't seem concerned about how I knew it. I resolved not to tell him about Legolas. I was afraid it might hinder the development of their friendship and that friendship was WAY more important than my disappointment. Eventually, I thanked him for the meal and the company and made my way back up the path to the house. Gimli offered to walk me home, but I told him I would be fine and that I would meet him again first thing in the morning.

When I got back to my room I lit the candle and found my clean clothes folded neatly on my perfectly made bed. I hung them up and found the green velvet dress had been cleaned and hung back up in my closet. I sat on the chest at the foot of the bed and pulled off the boots, undressed and folded Glorfindel's clothes and put them on the chest beside me, leaving the bandage in a pile on top. Macavity was sleeping on the windowsill and didn't even seem to notice I was there. I put on the nightgown and washed my face and brushed my teeth. I was pleased to see that the bruises on my face were nearly gone. I brushed out my hair and practiced putting it in a bun with the ponytail holder. It worked pretty well and I took it down and left the cloth ring next to the basin on the table. I sat at the desk and went over my homework to keep it fresh in my mind. I was going back to my lessons with Erestor tomorrow and didn't want to forget what he'd taught me. I poured myself a cup of tea and by the time I finished it, I was ready to go to sleep so I blew out the candle and crawled into bed. 

I thought about my day and the stress finally got the better of me. I cried myself to sleep, hoping things would settle down a little before Gandalf arrived so that I could rebuild my strength for that meeting.


	16. The tale is told

The tale is told - Or - Excuse me while I wipe the drool off my chin by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**Serious Mary Sue alert! It's my story, I couldn't help myself. Don't worry, her utter happiness won't last long. 8-) And she has a name (finally)! On a side note, I have reached to point where the story was before the great crash. **

The next several days passed uneventfully. I trained with my wooden axe with Gimli in the mornings, worked with the healers in the afternoons and continued my lessons with Erestor in the evenings. I began packing my breakfasts at night and taking my lunches with Gimli in the dwarves' common house I'd begun referring to simply as "the pub." I took my evening meals in my room after my lessons with Erestor. I washed Glorfindel's shirt every night after doing my homework and hung it up to dry in the window. The elfling was recovering quickly and my bruises disappeared. I did not encounter any of the elves of Mirkwood again, except when they paid the healing rooms occasional visits for injuries from sparring and at those times I only said what was absolutely necessary. Apparently, they were living in an area on the other side of the house from the dwarves' cottages. I ran into Bilbo a few times and we had merry chats, occasionally returning to our little alcove for an after-dinner smoke. Macavity came and went as he pleased. My new clothes were delivered and fit me to perfection. The undergarments were there; they were made without elastic, but the ingenious design and lightweight fabric supported without being painfully tight or excessively hot. The next day I left Glorfindel's clothes out to be cleaned and took them to my lesson with Erestor that evening. He helped me write a "Thank-you" note in Elvish and promised to leave it and the clothes in Glorfindel's room for me. As I said earlier, I had completely lost track of time so I was surprised when I heard the news of Gandalf's arrival a few days later.

Erestor and I were completing my lesson and after giving me my assignment for the day, he said in a matter-of-fact tone, "Mithrandir arrived today. Lord Elrond has asked me to bring you to his study. They will be waiting for us."

I swallowed nervously and thought, _Thanks for giving me a heads-up._ I gathered up my work and we went to the library. Elrond was behind his large desk and Gandalf was sitting to his right. Neither of them rose when we entered.

Gandalf looked much as I'd expected except that instead of resembling Ian McKellen, he looked more like Professor Tolkien himself. He had long grey hair, bushy grey eyebrows and a long bushy grey beard, but something about him reminded me of the famous profile picture of Tolkien where he is smiling with his pipe in his mouth and wearing a brown fur-collared coat and scarf. He wore a friendly, fatherly smile as Elrond introduced us.

"You are the lady Elrond has been telling me about? You might be pleased to know that you were entirely accurate in your recounting of what occurred between Saruman and myself."

"It is an honor to meet you, Mithrandir. I am not pleased that Saruman is no longer an ally of the free peoples of Middle Earth; I know that he was a friend of yours once."

"Please, be seated," Elrond gestured to the same chair I'd I sat in the last time I was summoned to his study.

Erestor and I sat and Gandalf addressed me: "I understand you have more knowledge that you wish to share?"

"Wish to? I wouldn't say that I wish to, but I have to. As Lord Erestor pointed out to me, it would be more dangerous to tell you some and not all of what I know, but I'm afraid of the consequences nonetheless."

"You will not be punished for speaking the truth, my Lady. Despite what Prince Legolas may believe, I know you are not a spy," Elrond said, mistaking my meaning. By this time, I was getting used to discovering that every elf seemed to know every thing that went on. ESPECIALLY Elrond.

"Actually, my Lord. I'm not afraid for myself, I'm afraid of what might be changed if you knew what I do. For instance, I know the manner and the timing of when Boromir of Gondor will die. It could possibly be prevented, but he will gain his salvation in death. In addition, his death results in a chain reaction in which Denethor, Steward of Gondor commits suicide. If Boromir lives and Denethor is still alive when Aragorn arrives to assume his rightful place as king, Denethor will resist. He might even go to war over it. Boromir, being a loyal son would fight on his father's side. Faramir as well, I imagine. But with Boromir and Denethor gone, Faramir will honor the ancient oaths of the steward and accept Aragorn as King of Gondor. That is just one example, my Lords. Lord Erestor also pointed out to me that unfortunately I am not wise enough to determine what to reveal and what not to. It is for you to decide what to do with the information once I've shared it," I looked directly at Gandalf as I spoke.

"Erestor has given you good counsel. Elrond has told me of how you were found and your explanation of your homeland. Please tell me what you know of the events of Middle Earth here and now," Gandalf said.

I began with what Gandalf didn't know of the hobbits' flight from the Shire, their adventures in the Barrow-downs and their meeting with Tom Bombadil. _Frodo talked in his sleep my eye! Maybe I was in the story all along and Tolkien just chose not to mention me for some reason._ Gandalf was relieved when I told him that the hobbits met with Aragorn in Bree, but was very concerned about the attack on Frodo at the camp at Weathertop. I continued the tale and warned him about Caradhras and his fall in Moria. He was particularly interested in his battle with the Balrog and his ascension to the role of White Wizard. In the middle of my tale a female elf came into the study with a tea service. I thankfully accepted a cup as my throat was getting quite dry. I recounted everything I could remember and Gandalf, Elrond and Erestor asked for clarifications and details occasionally. Sometimes, I would remember something I'd left out and have to go back, but for the most part it went smoothly. I was surprised at how much detail I could recall. After many hours, I came to a close with what I could remember of the appendices. Elrond paid special attention to what I could tell him about Arwen and although he was proud of his foster son and pleased to hear his grandson would one day inherit the throne of Gondor, he was saddened by his daughter's fate.

"That's all that I know, my Lords. Do with it what you feel is right. I only ask that you remember that as Professor Tolkien wrote the story, the ring and the Evil One are destroyed. There is no guarantee that if you attempt to change the events or the timeline that the outcome will be the same."

"You are quite right. We have much to consider. I believe it would be wise for you to refrain from discussing our conversation with anyone. Not even Aragorn. We will confer with Galadriel but it is well that no one else know what has or will come to pass. You would be in great danger if Sauron or Saruman discovered you." Gandalf paused for effect and then continued, "It is well past midnight and you must rest for your training session with Gimli in the morning." He rose to his feet, "I shall speak with you again." He held out his hands and I stood and put mine in his; they were warm and surprisingly strong. "You have nothing to fear, my dear. You have done well, thank you for your honesty."

His eyes were bright and compassionate and his words were gentle. I immediately felt an enormous weight lift from my mind and was truly relaxed for the first time since my bath. "Thank you. Goodnight." I turned to leave, but something popped into my head and I stopped. "Frodo is in grave danger; the Black Riders will nearly overtake him at the ford. He will have nearly faded by the time he gets here. I would like to assist with his treatment if I may?"

"Yes, I would like you to suspend all your other activities when he arrives. The healers tell me you are quite talented, I believe your skills will be useful," Elrond answered.

"Thank you, my Lord. If I remember correctly, he will be here in two days," I replied and left the room.

I performed my nightly rituals and rose the next morning to meet Gimli. He had instructed me the day before to bring my hatchets. When I arrived, there was another dwarf there; he looked to be somewhat younger than Gimli and his black beard was shorter than Gimli's red one. Gimli explained: "This is my sister's son. He is skilled in throwing weapons. It is something I never learned myself, perhaps he can teach us both."

I greeted Gimli's nephew and we started our lesson. We began by standing about fifteen feet from the broad side of the pub. There was a circle drawn on the wood with what looked like white chalk. He took one of the hatchets and I took the other one. He showed me how to stand, wrap my fingers around the handle the correct way, and use my muscles and joints to snap it so that it would travel through the air end over end and stick. The first several times I threw it, it hit the wall sideways and bounced off. He explained to me what I was doing wrong and demonstrated a few times, hitting the target dead center every throw. Eventually, I managed to get the hatchet to stick about 7 out of 10 times but was still missing the circle by a mile. Gimli and I took turns throwing the hatchets and although mine stuck more often than his, he always managed to hit the wall inside the circle.

"You are focusing on the target, are you not?" Gimli's nephew asked me.

"Yes, aren't I supposed to?" I answered.

"No, at least not with a stationary target. The circle is not moving; you should be concentrating on your stance, on your muscles and on the feel of the weapon in your hand as you release it. After it leaves your hand, you have no more control over it. You could close your eyes and jump on one foot and it would not affect whether or not you hit the target. Close your eyes and throw it again."

"OK," I said disbelievingly, closed my eyes and threw it again. "THUMP!" I could tell by the sound it had stuck.

"Open your eyes, lassie," Gimli said. I opened my eyes and there, right in the middle of the white circle, was my hatchet. I looked at Gimli and he was grinning from ear to ear. "Well done!" he said.

Gimli and I kept at it until I felt like my arm was about to fall off; then we went inside to rest. The pub was empty except for the three of us. The dwarves got themselves a beer and I had to be satisfied with water since I was going to work after lunch. Gimli's nephew produced some sandwiches from the kitchen and after we ate we smoked our pipes and chatted about our morning.

"I won't be able to meet you again for the next several days, Gimli. I'll be needed in the healing rooms," I said.

"That's fine, lassie. You've done well! When we do continue your training, I want you to bring the real axe. You need to get used to the weight of it. You should be proud of your progress."

"I am, Gimli. I have the best teacher in Middle Earth; I wouldn't want to disappoint him. Until we meet again, my friend."

I took my leave and went back to my room to clean up and change. My afternoon with the healers was spent preparing for Frodo's arrival. One of the bedrooms near the healing wing was set up with healing herbs and tables with surgical instruments. By the time we were finished, it looked like a suite in a high-end private hospital. There was an air of concerned anticipation among the healers and I began to get nervous.

Elrond came and inspected the room. He had us move a few things around, but he was satisfied with our work. Before he left, he turned to me, "Do not be nervous. My healers tell me you are very competent as well as compassionate. Frodo will need both."

"Thank you, my Lord," I replied with a small smile.

When all was ready, I went to Erestor's rooms. I showed him my homework and he corrected my mistakes. We talked a little about Frodo and reviewed the Elvish names for the different medical herbs and instruments so that they would be fresh in my mind and I wouldn't cause unnecessary delay. Soon, the lesson was over and for the first time, Erestor did not give me any homework. What he did give me was a small book. I accepted it curiously.

"This is a book of songs and poems. You will have need of something to occupy your mind in the long hours of waiting in the days to come," Erestor said.

_"Hannon le, Hodoer,"_ I replied.

Erestor smiled and said _"Quel kaima, Elear."_

I left and headed back to my room. I was looking at the book and thinking about Erestor calling me "Visionary" and I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I turned a corner 

and ran right into Legolas. I jumped back dropping the little book and blurted out: "OH! I'm so sorry, Prince Legolas. I wasn't watching where I was going."

Legolas bent and picked up the book and handed it back to me saying, "It is I who should apologize, my Lady. I should have heard you coming. I was preoccupied with my own thoughts as well. I was actually looking for you; the healers told me I could find you in Lord Erestor's rooms."

"Yes, he's teaching me Elvish," I said and then wondered why I felt it necessary to explain myself especially considering how he spoke to me before.

"If you would care to walk with me a while, I would like to speak with you," he said.

His tone had softened considerably since our first meeting and I wondered what had brought about this change. "Of course, your majesty."

He led the way out into a courtyard off the hall. It was a clear night and the moon and stars were beautiful. He was wearing a silver-blue, Nehru-style jacket that came down to his knees and glimmered in the starlight. We came to a stone bench next to a bubbling fountain and he gestured for me to sit. He remained standing. His eyes shone like blue ice in the night. The fangirl in me couldn't help but stare at him. He didn't look like Orlando Bloom, really. It was more like Orlando Bloom looked like him. The same way that Jamie Foxx looked like Ray Charles and Will Smith looked like Muhammad Ali. The actors resembled the real people, but the real people were so much more, well, THEMSELVES.

"There are several things I wish to say to you. I will start with that which is most difficult for me. I apologize for how I spoke to you upon our first meeting. I have spoken to Mithrandir and he has shown me the error of my judgment."

"You don't need to apologize, your majesty. I understand you are under a great deal of stress. The nature of your errand is unfortunate and I'm sure you are still grieving for your lost kin."

"That is no excuse, my Lady, though you are most gracious for offering it. But you bring me to something else I wish to say: please call me Legolas. I am not now in my father's court and I leave my royal heritage at home when I travel."

"As you wish, Legolas, I accept your apology." Between his comforting tone and the romantic setting, I began to get all tingly. He looked to the sky and I noticed how his hair had taken on the appearance of a silver halo again. I spoke before I let my mind go too far down that road because I was sorely tempted to jump him then and there, "Was there something else?"

"Yes, I wish to thank you for the care you have shown my kin in the healing rooms and for honoring my request. They reported your kindness as well as the fact that you did not speak with them unless it was required for their treatment."

"You're welcome. I didn't see any reason to be rude and I did agree to stay away from them."

He smiled at me and I melted inside, "Although I do urge you to continue to be wary of what you say, I rescind my request that you stay away from my people."

"Funny, I didn't take it as a request, Legolas. It sounded a lot more like a command at the time," I grinned up at him and he smiled again. I knew we had to get somewhere populated pretty damn quick so I stood up.

"You have my apology for that as well, my Lady. I should not have addressed you as if you were one of my father's subjects. Are you expected somewhere? I would like to repay your kindness, if you would allow me."

"Apology accepted. I don't think I have any pressing engagements. What did you have in mind?"

"Come with me," he replied mischievously and grinned.

_Down girl. He doesn't mean that. He CAN'T mean that. Oh please God let him mean that. I swear I'll go to church everyday for the rest of my life if you could just let him mean that!_

He led me down a path that mirrored the one that led to the dwarves' cottages. Legolas left the path and took my hand and led me a short way through the trees. His hand was warm and delicate, yet stronger still than Gandalf's and I wondered if he could feel my pulse racing. We came to a clearing around which several large tents were erected. In the center of the clearing were gathered all the elves from Mirkwood. Some were sitting on the grass and talking, some were playing stringed instruments and others were singing and still others were dancing. I hadn't noticed before that there were female elves with Legolas when he arrived, but those that were there were obviously also from Mirkwood. There were sparkly lanterns scattered around and I was reminded of the parties in Mirkwood Thorin and company were accused of crashing in The Hobbit.

Legolas turned to me, "Have you eaten?"

"No," I admitted. I could smell food and I hoped none of the elves could hear my stomach rumbling.

Legolas continued to lead me through the clearing into one of the tents. It was filled with tables laden with all sorts of fruits, vegetables, meats, cheeses and (of course) desserts. He let go of my hand and gave me a light china plate. He explained each dish to me and served me small portions of everything. Legolas was happy and charming; very different from our first meeting. At the end of the tables, there was a large keg. He set his plate down on the last table and poured us each a glass of what looked like sangría without the floating fruit. I accepted the glass; he picked up his plate and led the way back into the clearing.

He returned the greetings of the many elves we passed and we sat on the grass near the outer edge of the circle.

I tasted the wine, it was light and fruity. I set my glass down next to me and asked, "You left this party to come and talk to me?"

"Yes, and no," He replied. "After my conversation with Mithrandir this afternoon, my words to you weighed heavy on my heart. I am perhaps too proud and it took me several hours to decide the best way to apologize to you." He looked at me with an expression the fangirl in 

me said was affection, but my rational mind wouldn't believe it. "I arranged this feast with you in mind."

_And I thought the mouth-to-mouth was hard! If this is a dream, I can do anything I want, right? I can jump his bones and turn this feast into one big orgy! But if this isn't a dream I can screw up everything by being too forward. Play it cool, girl. Play it cool. Think graceful. Think Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis._ "You are most kind," I said as I picked up my glass. I was proud of my self control until I bumped the glass against my teeth and spilled wine down the front of my frock. _Way to go Grace!_ "Oh shit!" I exclaimed and attempted to brush the wine off my chest, watching the pink stain spread across the pale blue.

Legolas laughed in that Asian-Elven way I had become accustomed to. He called to another elf that was walking near and the other elf glanced at me and ducked inside the nearest tent. Legolas took my plate and glass from me and set them on the grass. He stood and offered me his hand. I took it and he led me to the tent. Inside, the elf he had called to was laying out a lovely golden dress on a cot. "You may change into this if you wish, I will wait for you outside," Legolas said. The other elf filled a basin with water and handed me a towel and left the tent without comment. I quickly stripped to my skin, wiped myself down with the wet cloth and put on the dress. It felt as light as spider's silk and shimmered gold. There were no shoes, so I folded up my "bra" and healer's frock and put the shoes I was wearing on top and went barefoot. I checked a mirror that was standing in the corner. My hair was still up so I pulled it down and stuffed the ponytail holder into one of my shoes. I smoothed my hair, pinched my cheeks and bit my lips, gathered up the bundle and carried it outside.

"You may leave those here, they will be returned to you in the morning," Legolas said and I turned and put the clothes on the cot.

"That dress is lovely on you," he said as I exited the tent again.

I felt my face flush. _"Hannon le,_ it is much more comfortable, too," I replied as we walked back over to our spot.

Someone had refilled our glasses while we were gone and we sat and continued our meal. I commented on each dish and asked questions about the exquisite flavors. Legolas seemed almost childlike, taking a great deal of pleasure in my reaction to his little party. I vowed to myself not to drink too much, I was having enough trouble controlling my hormones sober, besides I had important duties to attend to the next day.

Legolas was curious about my home and people and although he stayed away from any topic that might bring up my knowledge of Middle Earth, he asked me several questions about my activities since I came to Rivendell. He was particularly tickled with my descriptions of Gimli and Bilbo and my training with the axe.

When we finished eating, he invited me to dance.

I glanced at the graceful elves and had serious doubts. "I don't think I know any elven dances, thank you just the same," I declined.

He stood and offered me his hand, "You would decline a dance with Prince Legolas of Mirkwood?" he said in a greatly exaggerated pompous tone, "Such a thing is unheard of!"

"I thought you said you left your heritage at home, O prince," I replied wryly.

"Only when it suits my purpose, my Lady. Dance with me or I shall have you beheaded," he said with a brilliant grin that would light up the dark side of the moon.

I threw my head back exasperated and took his hand. "I warned you. Don't go showing up in the healing rooms complaining of broken toes tomorrow. I won't have the time to deal with it. I'll dance with you, but only if you promise never to ask me to sing."

"Sing? You sing? Of course you MUST sing for us!" _Oh fuck, what did I get myself into?_

"When I sing, cats cover their ears, Legolas. No singing!"

We walked into the circle and he slowly showed me the steps to the dance. He was a strong lead and rarely allowed me to make a turn the wrong way. I enjoyed myself despite my misgivings and at length we went back to our glasses so that I could rest. Legolas was showing no signs of being tired, but he could see that I was. Our glasses had been refilled again and our plates had been removed and replaced with one large tray of desserts. _If I were back home I would think these elves are trying to fatten me up and get me drunk._

Legolas started in on the dessert tray immediately. "Have a bit of a sweet tooth, do we?" I asked.

He grinned sheepishly and had a little bit of cream on his nose when he looked up. _Don't touch it. He knows it's there, he has to. He's testing you. Whatever you do, don't reach over there and wipe it off!_ Naturally, I reached over and wiped it off. Then I did something brazen, I smiled and licked the cream off my finger. I had intended to say something vixen-ish, but I was startled by how good the cream tasted. "Hey! That's really good!" I said instead. "Which one is that?" I asked looking at the tray.

"This one," he said and picked up a square of some sort of white cake with cream on top. He offered it to me and I reached out to take it from him. He snatched it away at the last second and laughed.

"If I had my wooden axe you'd be in trouble, elf!"

He laughed and extended his hand; I slowly reached for it and he pulled it away again. "Now I know why dwarves don't like elves!" I said and took a drink. Then I tried another tack, I leaned forward and opened my mouth and closed my eyes. I knew I was asking to have the cake smeared all over my face, but at least then I'd get to taste the damn thing.

"It is never wise to tempt an elf, my Lady," Legolas said.

"I trust you, Legolas. A prince would not do something so base as to smear food on a Lady."

"You are correct." I heard him lean forward and suddenly it occurred to me he might not have been referring to the cake. I felt his warm breath for a split second and then felt his lips on mine. Just then, my brain exploded and I died.

The end.

* * *

Just kidding.

The kiss lasted what felt like an eternity and when he pulled away I thought I was going to faint. I wobbled a little with my eyes still closed and my mouth still open. Then I felt the cake in my mouth and he said, "Now, that was worth the toll of a little kiss, was it not?"

"Delicious," I mumbled with my mouth full, not sure if I was referring to the cake or the kiss. I opened my eyes and he was grinning. "That was just wrong, Legolas," I said after I'd swallowed and the oxygen made it back to my brain.

He looked at me innocently and asked, "What do you mean?"

"It's not nice to tease Mother Nature. You'll pay for that, elf."

"I look forward to it, my Lady."

I drained my glass and sat back trying to figure out if what I thought just happened really happened. Legolas had me off guard and he knew it. "Now, what were you going to sing for us, my Lady?" he asked.

"Sing? Oh, um what would you like to hear?" I answered before I realized what I'd said.

"I knew you would come around. Sing us something from your homeland."

"Us? Um, what do you mean us?" I looked up and saw that several elves were walking toward us. _Oh shit. How did I get myself into this? One damn kiss and I'm putty in his hands. I'm so lame._ "Right. You will pay, Legolas," I said as sternly as I could muster. The only song that came to mind was one my mother used to sing to me. I'd decided on it before I'd considered the words, but it was too late. The tune was already in my head and I couldn't think of anything else. When the other elves were situated around us, I found my glass had been refilled again by the magic ninjas and I took a drink. Here goes:

"_Tell me why the ivy twines,  
Tell me why the stars do shine,  
Tell me why the skies are blue,  
And I will tell you just why I love you. _

_Because God made the ivy twine,  
Because God made the stars to shine,  
Because God made the sky so blue,  
Because God made you, that's why I love you."_

It was short and sweet and I managed to stay on key. There was no sound in the glade and I looked around, puzzled at the complete lack of response.

"Who is 'god'?" Legolas asked and I finally understood.

"God is what my people call Eru, Legolas."

"Ah. Please sing it again, the tune was lovely."

I sang it again and watched the elves listen. They seemed to be hanging on the words. When I finished, the elf I met at the training grounds spoke, "Thank you. Do you know any others?"

"Yes," I replied, amazed that they hadn't run screaming away covering their ears. I can carry a tune in a bucket, but I'm no incredibly talented, outrageously beautiful, Mary Sue. I decided to lighten the mood and hopefully prevent them from asking for another song so I sang the next thing that popped into my head:

"_Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey  
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?  
If the words sound queer and funny to your ear, a little bit jumbled and jivey  
Sing 'Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy'  
Oh! Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey  
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?"_

When I finished this time there was laughter. I grinned and said, "Ok, that's all I know. It's someone else's turn now."

Legolas leaned over and whispered, "That was not so bad, was it?" I felt goose bumps all over when his breath brushed my ear.

"No, but just remember, payback is a bitch."

He looked at me quizzically and I decided not to explain. I just smiled a saccharine sweet smile and a look of understanding dawned on his face.

We continued drinking and laughing and picking at the dessert tray while the others sang and danced. Our back and forth teasing stayed on the fringe between playful and sexual. Eventually, I felt the need to relieve myself and tried to stand. I couldn't. _Uh oh._

"Legolas?" he looked at me when I spoke. "Um, I need to go to the little elf's room and I can't stand up."

"Pardon me?"

"I have to, you know, relieve myself. I don't know where to go and I don't think I could get there on my own if I did."

"Oh, I see. Let me help you." He stood and was a little wobbly himself. I began to giggle.

"Hey, I may be sloshed, but I thought elves weren't affected by alcohol."

"I am perfectly sober, my Lady," he said and blinked several times.

"Yeah, and I'm the queen of Rohan," I replied sarcastically.

I looked around and saw that many of the elves had passed out where they sat.

"To my knowledge, there is no queen of Rohan," he replied and helped me stand. I leaned heavily on him as we walked behind one of the tents. "The wine is from my father's own 

cellar. We may not be affected by the spirits of the Edain, but I assure you, this is much stronger. Have you not tried _miruvor?_ This wine is similar."

"No kidding? I thought maybe the reason I couldn't feel my legs was because I was paralyzed."

We made it around to a small, outhouse-type tent. I stumbled inside and found a portable version of the toilets in the house. "An elf porto-potty!" I said and giggled. I finished and stepped out. Legolas was waiting for me and I leaned on him again.

"Do you wish to go back to the house, my Lady?" There was something in his voice that sounded as if he weren't quite ready for the evening to be over.

"Nope. But I think I'm done with the wine. What do you want to do?"

"If you would care to take a walk with me, there is a place I would like to show you."

"Lead the way!"

As we passed the last tent, he stopped and leaned me up against a tree. He stepped inside and came out with a blanket. We stumbled through the trees away from the tents for a while giggling. Soon I could hear the sound of rushing water and when we broke through the trees I saw something that took my breath away. There was a narrow waterfall emptying into a small pond. There were water lilies floating on the surface, with their petals closed tight. The moon's reflection rippled on the black water. Legolas spread the blanket near the water's edge and we sat. Rather he sat gracefully and I fell into him.

"Sorry," I said as he caught me.

"Not at all, my Lady."

"Please, Legolas. Call me Elaura. If you don't, I'll start calling you 'your majesty' again."

"As you wish, Elaura, I would not want that."

The way my name sounded as it rolled off his tongue made me think maybe it was a mistake to ask him to use it. I shivered, half from the chill in the air and half from my raging hormones. _There's no way he could possibly know how much danger he's in right now,_ I thought.

He saw me shiver and pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Legolas," I warned him. "I'm a tipsy woman at her sexual peak. You are walking a perilous path."

"I would think that you had passed 'tipsy' many hours ago," he said and I could hear his merry laugh through his chest.

"Did you plan this?" I asked and sat up and looked at him. "You got me drunk on purpose, didn't you? That's so . . . so . . . MALE!" I exclaimed with mock indignation.

He grinned and said something I did not expect, "May I brush your hair?"

"Huh? Um, ok. Sure."

He pulled out a silver handled brush from under the blanket and moved to sit behind me. I hadn't realized it, but he was a good two or three inches taller than me. He began brushing my hair and it felt very, very good. "I'll bet you do this with all the girls," I murmured dreamily.

"In truth, I have not ever brushed a female's hair. Elf women usually prefer to do it themselves and I have never known an Edain woman before."

I perked up a little, "Never? That seems a little odd to me. You're not exactly an elfling, Legolas. How is it that you've never met a woman before?"

"I did not say that I have never met a woman. I have simply never been close enough to one to ask this liberty. Your hair is different from ours. It is thick and curls. I admit I have desired to touch it from the first I saw you."

"This isn't foreplay, is it? You're serious," I said and turned to look at him.

He nodded and smiled innocently. "If you would please turn back around?"

I did and he continued to brush carefully. Every now and then he came across a small tangle and worked it out. "Legolas," I started, my curiosity getting the better of me, "That kiss. Why did you do that?"

"Should I not have done that? I apologize if I was too forward. I often act before considering the consequences."

"No, no. I enjoyed it very much. In fact, you can do that anytime you like. I was just wondering if you meant anything by it. Were you really just trying to get around to asking me if you could brush my hair?"

"I find you attractive, Elaura. In a way that rarely strikes me. Your way is very different, even from other Edain. You are blunt as I am often accused of being. You are also very honest and kind. I enjoy your sense of humor, though I must admit sometimes I do not understand you."

"That's ok, most people don't understand me, even back home." I shivered, this time definitely from the cold and Legolas stopped brushing my hair and pulled me back into his chest, wrapping his arms around me again."

As much as I would like to tell you that we made mad passionate love all night, in reality he held me that way in silence until I fell asleep. Just before dawn, he roused me and took me back to the house. We walked hand-in-hand and at the foot of the steps of the front door, we said our farewells and he kissed me for the second time. I felt my toes curl. It was a short, closed-mouthed kiss. We smiled at one another and he turned back down the path. I went up the steps without looking back and began my day.

**  
**_**Hannon le, hodoer:**_** Thank you, wise one.  
**_**Quel kaima, elear:**_** Sleep well, visionary. **


	17. Wanna see something REALLY scary?

Frodo's arrival - Or - Wanna see something REALLY scary? by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**Is it me, or are the chapters getting longer? I'm on a roll!**

I still felt a little tipsy, but thankfully I had no hangover. I couldn't really tell if I was high on the warm fuzzy feeling I had about Legolas or the wine. I found myself singing softly as I gathered up my things and headed for the shower. I hummed and sang "I Could Have Danced All Night" from My Fair Lady all the way down the hall and during my shower. I had to scrub my grass-stained feet in particular. When I was done, I toweled off and put on my healer's frock and returned to my room. As I was laying out my dirty clothes and finishing up with my hair I realized two things. One was that my ponytail holder was still inside my shoe, which was still in the Mirkwood elves' compound. The other thing was that I had lost the book Erestor gave me. I could not for the life of me remember where I'd put it down. The last time I could remember having it was when Legolas picked it up off the floor when I ran into him in the hall. "Damn! That's why I should NOT drink! I hope I didn't leave it in the courtyard, Erestor is bound to find it and then I'll really feel like a schmuck. 'Thank you so much for the book, Lord Erestor. I loved it so much I lost it within an hour of you giving it to me.'" I sighed and wondered what the hell I was going to do with my hair; I had to get it out of my face somehow.

Just then I heard a soft knock on my door. I wasn't expecting anyone, Frodo should definitely not have arrived yet; it was barely dawn. I went over and opened it. It was the elf from the tent last night. _"Mae govannen,"_ she said and smiled. She had in her hands my healer's frock and shoes and on top was the book Erestor had given me. _Hey! My first plot bunny! Just in time, too._

_"Hannon le,"_ I said, relieved. "Wait a second; I'll get the dress you loaned me last night. It hasn't been cleaned yet, I'm sorry." I took the bundle and turned toward the bed where I'd left the dress to be laundered.

"You may keep the dress, it is a gift from Prince Legolas," she replied.

"Come on, let's be honest. Legolas doesn't wear dresses, does he? It has to belong to someone. He can't give away someone else's clothing; that's just not nice."

"I assure you, my Lady. That dress was the prince's to do with as he pleased." I raised my eyebrow at her and began to wonder if Legolas was a closet transvestite when she continued, "He had it made for you. I have known him for a very long time; he rarely has to apologize but when he does, he does it well."

"Please tell him 'thank you' for me." It dawned on me that the dress had been made in a matter of hours. _Magic toilets, magic wine glasses and magic tailors. No wonder the fact that I just appeared out of nowhere doesn't seem to bother anyone around here._

"I will, my Lady." She bowed and left.

I picked up the book and flipped through it. There was a bookmark that I hadn't noticed before. I opened it to the page marked and read the title; it was the "Song of Beren and Lúthien." There was a note written in Elvish on the bookmark, which was just a slip of parchment.

"I guess Erestor had an assignment for me after all." I pulled out my papers and translated the signature. "Hmmm, 'Ever yours, LEGOLAS? Oh, I've got to translate this!" I pulled my hair back with the ponytail holder and sat down at my desk with the bookmark. It took me about an hour to translate and once I had it written out I sat back and read it over and over. It read:

_Take this kiss upon the brow!  
And, in parting from you now,  
Thus much let me avow -  
You are not wrong, who deem  
That my days have been a dream;  
Yet if hope has flown away  
In a night, or in a day,  
In a vision, or in none,  
Is it therefore the less gone?  
All that we see or seem  
Is but a dream within a dream._

_Ever yours,_

_Legolas_

"Wow. I never would have pegged Legolas to be a goth." I had an "Alice in Wonderland" moment and felt I should recognize the poem. _Just a glitch in the matrix, I guess._ The sun was just over the mountaintops and I was feeling a little sleepy again. I picked up the dirty laundry from the bed and put it on the chest. I noticed that the frock had not been cleaned and put it with the other things. "I suppose even elves can't do laundry that fast. I'm sure someone will come for me when Frodo arrives, I'll just lie down and rest a little longer." And that's exactly what I did.

Some time later there was another knock on my door. I rolled over out of bed and opened it. My instructor from the healing rooms was in the hall. He told me Frodo was on his way from the ford. I told him I'd be right there and he turned and went back down the hall. I brushed my teeth and straightened my hair and headed out.

When I got to the room we'd prepared for Frodo he wasn't there yet. There were a couple of healers already there so I leaned on the windowsill and waited. It wasn't long before there was noise in the hall. I stood up and went to the side of the bed closest the window. There was a table with surgical instruments on my side and on the other side was a basin of water with _Athelas_ already steeping. Elrond himself carried Frodo in and laid him on the bed. Gandalf was right behind him. This was one time Peter Jackson didn't even come close. Frodo looked ghastly. His brown hair was greasy and matted; he was drenched with sweat and his skin was cold and clammy and was an awful shade of grey. There were deep, dark circles under his eyes that made him look like he'd been beaten. There were scratches over his hands and face that were oozing very dark blood and his lips were almost black, as were his fingernails. He opened his eyes and the irises were white; the only color in them was the broken blood vessels in the whites of his eyes. I gasped when he looked at me, but his eyes were unfocused. Immediately I started cutting off his shirt, his waistcoat and vest were already gone. His injury was on my side, Frodo's left shoulder.

Elrond came around to my side and held his hands over the injury; a blue glow appeared between them and Frodo's shoulder. "Yes, there is still a piece of the blade in him. It is working its way toward his heart and it is very close." Gandalf stood on the other side of the bed with his staff in his hand. There was a glow between Gandalf and Frodo as well; the air was nearly crackling with magic and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. Elrond spoke in single words which I understood very well, he asked first for a small knife. He made a cut deep into the wound which, although it had happened days ago, had not healed and had begun to fester.

The smell of rotting flesh mingled with the smell of _Athelas_. I expected Frodo to flinch when he was cut, but he didn't twitch or make a sound. A healer at the head of the bed swabbed the blood and pus away as Elrond followed the path the Morgul-blade had tunneled towards Frodo's heart. Elrond said another word and I opened the wound wider with a pair of bent-fork type retractors.

All the while, Gandalf murmured in a language I did not know and the glow between him and the hobbit intensified. After a time, I heard a commotion out in the hall and I looked toward the door. A dark man in travel-stained clothing stood in the doorway holding the shoulders of a sandy-haired hobbit in front of him and Glorfindel was visible behind them. They were all covered in soot and had very concerned looks on their faces while a healer was speaking softly to them. Aragorn turned to Glorfindel who took his place behind Sam and then stepped forward and took the place of the healer at the head of the bed. Elrond asked for a pair of long thin forceps, I handed them to him and took the knife and dropped it into a large jar on the table filled with liquid. Soon, Elrond withdrew the forceps and between its tiny jaws was a nasty-looking piece of black metal.

He smiled gravely and looked at Gandalf who held out a small crystal vial. Elrond dropped the metal shard into the vial and Gandalf corked it and hid it away in his robe. Elrond handed me the forceps which I also dropped into the jar. Aragorn bathed the wound with the _Athelas_ while I handed a small curved needle threaded with white silk to Elrond. He sewed up the wound from the inside out as Aragorn continued to rinse it. They were both murmuring quietly in yet another language I didn't know as he sewed. The whole surgery couldn't have lasted more than an hour and a half. When he was finished, I snipped the end of the thread with a pair of scissors and took the needle from Elrond and dropped it into the jar. Aragorn washed the wound again and I began to gather up the bloody cloths and instruments. I put them on a tray and covered them with a clean cloth and carried them out past Sam and Glorfindel to a healing room. Two more hobbits were in the hall and they both looked at me.

"Don't worry young hobbits, he's going to be just fine," I said to them and smiled gently as I passed. When I returned, Elrond and Aragorn were just finishing up bandaging Frodo's shoulder.

Gandalf, Elrond, Aragorn, and Glorfindel gathered in the chairs by the fireplace and began a hurried, hushed conversation as Aragorn kindled a fire. Sam came forward and helped me remove Frodo's wet trousers. Another basin of water with _Athelas_ was brought in by a female healer and the three of us bathed Frodo's entire body.

Sam started to wash Frodo's right hand and found it was clenched in a tight fist. He looked up at me with a frightened look on his face. I turned to where the others were sitting, "Excuse me, Mithrandir?"

They all looked up at me questioningly.

"There is still something in Frodo's right hand," I said to Gandalf. I knew it was the ring.

He stood and walked over to the bed, "So there is and there it shall stay. Do not think on it my Lady, let it be." Gandalf looked me dead in the eye, "Can I trust you to make certain it does not leave his possession while he is asleep?"

I nodded solemnly and said, "I would give my life to see it done, Mithrandir."

He nodded, satisfied, and returned to his seat.

Sam, who had stood quietly by, patted the back of Frodo's clenched fist. "You'll be all right now, Mr. Frodo. They've got that nasty thing out of you," he said in a soothing tone and looked hopefully up at me.

"He will, Sam. I promise," I said in response to his pleading gaze. "You've taken excellent care of him. Elrond, Gandalf and Strider are very powerful, I have no doubt in my mind that Frodo will be up and around in a couple of days, you'll see."

"It weren't me, milady. If it wasn't for Strider and that good elf there," he looked over to where Aragorn and Glorfindel were sitting, "we never would've made it to Rivendell at all."

"'All that is gold does not glitter,' Sam," I said and he looked at me with wonder.

"And that's a fact, milady," he replied.

We finished drying Frodo and I covered him with a couple of warm thin blankets from the dresser in the corner. Frodo's eyes were closed now and some of the color had begun to return to his face. The little trickles of blood here and there were a much brighter shade of red too, but he was still deathly pale. I checked his pulse at his neck and his skin was cold to the touch. His pulse was slow and weak.

I spoke to the healer who had helped us bathe Frodo, "He needs something to sleep in and I think Master Samwise could use a bite to eat."

"I will see to it," she answered and left the room.

"Sam, I think Pippin and Merry might like to know that Frodo is still alive. Would you go tell them? They are in the hall and I'm sure they would want to hear it from you. I'll stay right here while you're gone.

Sam looked like he didn't want to do it, then he relented. "They've got as much right to be in here as I do, even more. They're his own flesh and blood. I'm just his gardener."

"I think the room is full enough as it is, you tell them he's ok and that they should go to the kitchens and get something to eat. They can peek in the door if they want to see him, but I think we'd better just have you in here until this crowd thins out."

He smiled and looked pleased that I was going to let him stay. He touched Frodo's hand again and said, "I'll be right back, Mr. Frodo, don't you be going anywhere without me." Then he turned and went out into the hall.

I dipped a clean cloth in the basin and mopped Frodo's brow. He looked to be about the same age as the elfling, and then it occurred to me, he was. He left on his adventure on his fiftieth birthday, same as Bilbo. I turned to the fireplace, "Is anyone going to tell Bilbo that Frodo is here?"

Gandalf answered me, "I will tell him in the morning. There is no reason for him to see the boy like this, it will only worry him."

For the first time, I was irritated with Gandalf. I turned back toward Frodo and thought, _Bilbo is not a child! He deserves to be treated like an adult. For that matter, Frodo is no 'boy' either._ I sat back on the windowsill and watched the males talk. _Men! No matter what race, they all think they know what's best for everyone. Wait a minute, why am I so pissed all of a sudden?_ I rubbed my face and smelled the _Athelas_ on my hands and my mind cleared. _Let's see, Frodo wakes up on the 24th of October. He was asleep for what? Four days? That makes today the 20th. Oh no. Great timing, Flo. September may have disappeared, but my body clock is still on schedule. Hold on to your hats boys, we're in for a bumpy few days._

I looked up and saw Sam and the two hobbits from the hall standing in the doorway. I stood up and walked over to them. Sam was speaking, "There! I told you he's alive. Now, go get something to eat. I'll stay with Mr. Frodo."

One of the hobbits turned to leave, but the other grabbed his elbow and said, "I think Pip and I should stay too. What if he wakes up?"

I spoke to him then, "Master Meriadoc, I presume? Your cousin is in good hands. He will not wake for another few days. Go get cleaned up and get something to eat, I'm sure you must be starving and the elves have a fully stocked kitchen." He still looked doubtful so I continued, "They have meat and bread and sweet cakes and ale . . ."

Pippin spoke up, "sweet cakes?"

"Yes, Master Peregrin, and mushrooms," I replied.

"Mushrooms?" Merry asked and I heard at least two stomachs rumble.

"Master Samwise and I will look after Frodo, you two go on." Just then, the healer returned with a tray of food and a shirt hung over her arm. I took them from her and asked, "Would you be so kind as to escort these two good hobbits to the kitchen?"

She smiled down at them, "Of course; I would be honored," she replied and winked at me.

She led them down the hall and I took the tray over to the windowsill and set it down. "You go ahead and eat Sam, while I put this nightshirt on Frodo."

"Thank you, milady. I don't think I could've managed to get rid of them myself. Mr. Merry can be awfully pig-headed, if you get my meaning."

I leaned Frodo up and pulled the white nightshirt over his head as Sam watched me closely. He obviously wanted to help, but the bed was too high. He'd only been able to reach Frodo's arms and legs while we were bathing him. I made a mental note to make sure there were plenty of cushions for his chair. I knew wild horses would not be able to drag him away.

As I was guiding Frodo's right hand through the sleeve and pulling down the shirttail under his bottom, Sam spoke: "Milady? How is it that you know our names?"

There was an almost imperceptible change in the volume of the conversation by the fire as I replied, "Gandalf told me your names, Sam."

"Beggin' your pardon, milady. I'm not callin' you a liar or anything, but Gandalf weren't there when we left the Shire. He didn't know Mr. Pippin and Mr. Merry was comin' with us.

"Of course he did, Sam. Gandalf just missed you in Bree. I'm sure Mr. Butterbur told him all about it." The volume by the fire went back to normal. _Geez guys, I'm not stupid!_

I heard my name mentioned and looked in the direction of the voice and saw that Glorfindel was standing, looking at me. I walked over to him; he had soot on his face and hands and I remembered that he and the others kept the Black Riders from turning back from the rushing water at the ford with fire.

_"Mae Govannen,_ Glorfindel," I said and bowed.

"It is good to see you again, my Lady," he replied. "I see you have made good use of your time in Rivendell. I believe I have something that belongs to you."

He reached into his tunic and something sparkled in his hand. "My necklace! Wherever did you find it?" I exclaimed and took the little gold cross and chain.

"When I returned to the bridge, I found it on the bank of the river."

"Thank you! Thank you for everything, Glorfindel. You saved my life that day; I'll never be able to repay you."

"I am pleased to see that you have recovered from your injury, that is all the payment I require. If you will excuse me, there are matters I must attend to."

"Of course, my Lord. Thank you again. _Tenna' ento lye omenta._"

He grinned broadly and said, "Indeed you HAVE been making good use of your time, _híril nín_ S. my Lady!" At that he turned and left the room.

I looked down at the gold necklace in my hand. The clasp was bent, but not broken so I bent it back and put it around my neck. It felt so strange to have it again, something unexpected from home. I held it up and looked at it hanging from my neck. I felt tears roll down my cheeks and wiped them away. I sniffled and took a deep breath and turned around with my back towards the fireplace, I walked to the near side of Frodo's bed and mopped his brow again; his skin was warming. I looked at Sam. He'd finished the food on the tray and was sitting on the windowsill with his knees pulled up and his chin resting on them. He was fighting sleep. I went over to the fireplace and pulled the chair Glorfindel had been sitting in over to the side of the bed; then I walked up to Sam and said quietly, "Sam, wouldn't you be more comfortable in the chair?"

He slipped off the sill and went and climbed into the chair. "Thank you, milady. This is much more comfortable."

"You're welcome, Sam." I pulled another blanket out from the cabinet and draped it over Sam's lap. He was asleep within seconds.

I picked up Sam's tray from the windowsill and put it on a table by the door. Sam's chair was facing the head of the bed on the window side. The afternoon sun shone through his curls. Frodo had not so much as fluttered an eyelash since he arrived and was still breathing a little too shallow for my comfort. There wasn't anything else I could do at the moment so I walked over to the fireplace and stood by it warming my hands. They weren't cold, but it just felt good.

Aragorn was in the chair nearest to me and as he stood, a strong musky scent mixed with the smell of a campfire wafted by me. His hair was greasy, but not matted and his grey eyes were clear and the only part of him that was not covered in dirt or soot. Except for his hands, which he had washed before taking over at Frodo's bedside. "My Lady," he addressed me, "I should like to have a word with you. Please accompany me to the kitchen; I am certain you are as ready as I am for a meal."

"Yes, my Lord," I said and followed him out of the room.

He spoke quietly and more clearly than anyone I had met so far, "My Lady, Gandalf and Elrond have told me a little about you. You were very helpful with Frodo and the hobbits. You have much skill in healing. However, Frodo is still gravely ill. I do not believe you should be giving the halflings false hope."

"My Lord, there is no such thing as false hope. Either there IS hope or there isn't. Would you prefer that I give them no hope at all?"

"No," he replied simply and seemed to be still considering what I'd said when we reached the kitchen.

The place was a mess, but Pippin and Merry were not there. Macavity, on the other hand, was helping himself to their leftovers while two elves busied themselves with the cleanup. Aragorn spoke to them in Elvish and we sat at the table. Macavity turned and swished his tail under Aragorn's nose and he sneezed.

"Bless you," I said automatically and moved Macavity's plate a little farther down the table.

"Thank you," Aragorn replied and rubbed his nose. Soot came off on his hand and he looked at it and chuckled. "I must look horrendous and smell worse! I suppose I should go and get myself clean."

"You're no worse than I was when I first got here, my Lord." Two plates and glasses were put in front of us. I stood and picked mine up. "I think I'll take this back to Frodo's room." When I got to the door I turned back, "You shouldn't make your lady wait for you, my Lord. She won't care that you're dirty, she'll just be glad you're safe." I left without waiting for a reply.

When I got back, neither Frodo nor Sam had moved and Elrond was gone. Gandalf was staring at the fire, puffing on his pipe; he did not look up. I set my plate and glass on the table by the door, Sam's tray was gone. I went over to Frodo and checked his pulse. It was a little stronger and his lips were just turning a pale pink. His forehead was cool, but not cold. I went back to the table and picked up my plate and glass again and sat in the chair Aragorn was in earlier.

I ate and drained my glass then I checked on Frodo again and pulled Sam's blanket up under his chin. I told Gandalf I would be right back and went to my room to get my book and papers. I tucked the bookmark back inside the book and went back to Frodo's room. When I arrived, Gandalf stood and stretched. "I shall be back later," he said and looked at Frodo. Then he smiled and as he left said, "Well done, my dear."

I turned my chair around to face Frodo and pulled it up closer to the bed. Then I took out the bookmark and read the poem on it again. I sighed a silly girlish sigh and opened the book to the "Song of Beren and Lúthien" and read it, referencing my papers when I came across a word I didn't know.

Every thirty minutes or so I would stand up and check Frodo and Sam again and put some more wood on the fire. Neither stirred and no one came back to the room until well after dark. As I was sitting there, staring at the firelight dancing on Frodo's pale face, his right hand, which had been half on and half off the side of the bed, opened. I watched the golden ring fall from his hand and it seemed to be moving in slow motion as it hit the wood floor on its edge and rolled until it struck my left foot and fell flat.

The sound seemed very loud to me, but Sam did not move. I looked down at the ring warily. "So, you thought you'd try your luck with me, did you? How stupid do you think I am?" I leaned forward intending to get up and get a pair of forceps to pick the evil thing up when I looked up at Frodo. _Look how small and sick he is._ I then looked at Sam. _So loyal, so brave and yet so fragile._ I had a mental picture of the pain and suffering all the hobbits would have to endure over the next year, only to return to find their beloved Shire ravaged by Sharkey's men.

_You could save them from all that. You could take the ring to Mordor yourself, you already know the way, and you wouldn't even need Gollum. The hobbits could go back to the Shire and prevent Saruman from ever getting a foot-hold. You know what's going to happen, you can fix everything. Sauron doesn't even know you exist._

I was leaning down now, my fingers almost touching the ring when I felt an all too familiar ache deep below my belly. I stopped. "Oh HELL no. A premenstrual woman with THE ONE RING?! There wouldn't be a male alive in Middle Earth by morning. Not a chance." I got up and went to the table, picked up a pair of forceps and went back and picked up the ring. "Sorry Charlie, I'm crazy enough as it is," I said and tucked the ring under Frodo's pillow. His hand went immediately under the pillow and he moaned softly. I stepped back, but Frodo did not open his eyes or move again. I went back to my chair and waited for my relief.

**The poem on the bookmark : **

**Take this kiss upon the brow!  
And, in parting from you now,  
Thus much let me avow -  
You are not wrong, who deem  
That my days have been a dream;  
Yet if hope has flown away  
In a night, or in a day,  
In a vision, or in none,  
Is it therefore the less gone?  
All that we see or seem  
Is but a dream within a dream. **

**I stand amid the roar  
Of a surf-tormented shore,  
And I hold within my hand  
Grains of the golden sand -  
How few! yet how they creep  
Through my fingers to the deep,  
While I weep - while I weep!  
O God! can I not grasp  
Them with a tighter clasp?  
O God! can I not save  
One from the pitiless wave?  
Is all that we see or seem  
But a dream within a dream? **

"**A Dream within a Dream"  
By Edgar Allen Poe **


	18. The Council Convenes

The Council Convenes by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**I wrote this chapter and was nearly finished when I realized I had the events backward and had to do a massive rewrite. **

**Mary Sue alert. But don't worry, it isn't too far-fetched (I hope). Oh and it won't last.**

Eventually, Gandalf returned. I stood up and gave my report of Frodo's condition. He hadn't moved. His pulse was a bit stronger; his skin a bit warmer and pinker. The bandage would probably not need to be changed until morning. I looked at Sam; he'd hardly even shifted except to snuggle with the blanket a little bit. I considered telling Gandalf about the incident with the ring and was still trying to decide when he raised his bushy eyebrows and cocked his head slightly.

"Was there something else you wanted to tell me?" he asked.

I was beginning to get used to people invading my thoughts and replied, "Yes. The ring fell out of Frodo's hand and rolled to me. I know how dangerous it is and I'd determined a long time ago that if I ever got near it I wouldn't even consider touching it . . ."

"But?" he looked at me gravely.

"But it tempted me. It saw my weakness and played on it. It knew that I wanted to help them, that I want to be a hero and save everybody and make everything right. That I want the end of the story to really be 'And they all lived happily ever after.' But I couldn't. I had my chance to be a real leader and I let it go. I put the ring back under his pillow and he took it back. I could've saved him in that moment, but I didn't." I sighed dejectedly and stared at the floor.

"You see that as a weakness, my dear? You believe that you have failed? Perhaps if you were stronger you could have used the ring for the good of all?" I nodded. "No. Your compassion is your greatest strength. There are enough leaders and heroes in this world. Without someone behind them, urging them on," he looked at Sam then, "caring for them in their dark hours, even heroes would falter. No, my dear. That which is wrought by evil can not be used for good." He put his hand on my shoulder and I looked in his eyes, "You have done well. Do not ever doubt it."

"Thank you, Gandalf. I'll try to remember it." I bent down and gathered up my papers and book, then I looked up at him, "Gandalf? Who counsels the counselor? Who supports you in your darkest hours?"

"Me?" he chuckled softly. "I am never alone, child. The trees, the grass, the earth, the animals . . . they are always guiding me. I have the memories and thoughts of countless creatures great and small with me always."

I stood and noticed for the first time that Gandalf's form, which outwardly resembled a fragile old man with many years of toil weighing on him, sometimes betrayed his true self. Sometimes, he really WAS a fragile old man, weary of his responsibility. I reached down and ftook his wrinkled hands in mine and met his curious gaze. "Gandalf, there will come a time when you will be alone. When you will feel that all of Arda has abandoned you to your fate. Don't believe it. They love you, not just as their guide and mentor, but as a beloved friend."

He smiled and squeezed my hands. "'Weakness' indeed! Sleep well, my dear."

"Goodnight, Gandalf," I said and left the room.

I returned to my room and put my things on my desk. I found that my clothes had all been cleaned and put away. The training clothes I had borrowed from Glorfindel were folded neatly on the chest with a note on top; the boots were next to the chest on the floor. I read the note:

"Erestor informed me that you were concerned I would be unhappy that you borrowed these. On the contrary, consider them my gift to a budding warrior. May they serve you as well as they did me. – _Mára roime_ Q. Good hunting, Glorfindel."

I smiled and put them inside the chest; next to my own training clothes and my knife, hatchets and belt. I took out my pipe and pouch, grabbed a couple matches and my cloak and decided to go out into the courtyard and have a smoke. Instead of going through the house, I sat on the windowsill, swung my legs out and hopped down. I considered turning left towards "Casa de Mirkwood" or right towards "the pub" but instead I walked forward for a while, enjoying the cool breeze and the stars. Soon I began to hear hushed voices. I came to a small fountain and sitting at the base of it with their backs against the pedestal were Pippin and Merry smoking their pipes.

"Good evening, Master Meriadoc, Master Peregrin," I said.

They jumped to their feet, dropping their pipes. "How's Frodo?" they asked in unison.

"He's doing much better," I exaggerated, unless you consider being half-alive instead of half-dead 'much better'. I sat on a stone bench nearby and began packing my pipe. The hobbits picked up their pipes and sat near my feet.

"Has he opened his eyes yet? Has he said anything?" asked Pippin.

"No, he's still sleeping. He'll probably sleep for a few days. You two look much better, too." They had washed and changed clothes and had apparently found combs for their curly brown locks. Even the hair on their feet appeared to have been brushed.

"Thanks milady," said Merry. "How's Sam?"

"He's sleeping too. He hasn't left Frodo's side."

"He's a good hobbit, that one," replied Pippin.

I remembered the countless slash-fics about Sam and Frodo and decided to get the truth. "Yes he is," I said and lit my pipe. "He's absolutely devoted to Frodo. What do you know about him?"

"Well, milady. Sam's family's been with the Bagginses for generations. He was workin' with his old gaffer at Bag End since before he could talk. When his dad got too old, he took over the gardenin', and a lot more besides," answered Merry.

"I can see that. He's more than just a loyal servant, isn't he, Master Meriadoc?"

"Aw, please milady, just call me Merry. And this here's Pippin."

"Pip for short!" added Pippin.

"Then you'll have to call me Elaura. Don't tell the elves, though. They seem to think I'm a lady. Now, what's the deal with Sam and Frodo?"

"Well, mi-, sorry, Elaura," Merry began, "Frodo went to live with Bilbo when Sam was pretty young. Up 'till then, everybody (except Bilbo, a' course) treated Sam like he wasn't very smart. Frodo always treated Sam like he was just as smart as any other hobbit. Bilbo even let him sit in when he was teachin' Frodo his letters and Sam picked it up pretty good. Sam took to followin' Frodo everywhere he went and Frodo (bein' Frodo) acted like he really wanted Sam around, except he wasn't actin' like everybody thought. You see, Frodo was an only child and always wanted brothers and sisters. Now, his old gaffer never let Sam forget he was a servant, but Frodo never treated him like one."

"When Merry and I went to visit, Sam was just like one of the family. We all grew up together," inserted Pippin.

"Except you're not grown up yet, Pip," Merry bumped shoulders with Pippin as he said this.

"So Frodo's like a big brother to him?" I asked.

"Frodo's like a big brother to all of us," answered Merry, "but Sam's the one who really takes care of us. Once, when Sam came with Frodo to visit, Pip and me was stealin' apples from Farmer Maggot's orchard and Pip fell out of the tree. Sam carried him all the way home."

"We knew we were in for it that time, right Merry?"

"We never would've gotten caught if you'd kept hold of that branch, Pip."

"I think I understand now. Thank you," I said. I noticed that they looked a lot more alike than Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd. For one thing, they both had brown hair and brown eyes. They looked to be about the same height, too. Pippin had a much younger look about him, but it might have just been his bubbly personality. Merry was definitely the more talkative of the two, with Pippin interjecting occasionally with details. I yawned involuntarily and emptied my pipe in the grass. "I think it's time for me to get some sleep. I'll see you two tomorrow, then?"

"We'll be comin' to see Frodo in the morning. Goodnight!" said Merry.

"Goodnight," repeated Pippin.

"Goodnight," I replied and walked back towards my room.

"Never saw a lady of the Big Folk who smoked before Merry, have you?" I heard behind me.

"Nope."

I climbed back in my window, put my pipe and pouch away in the chest and changed into my nightgown. Macavity was in the middle of the bed, so I pushed him over and went to sleep.

The next morning, I went to Frodo's room just as dawn was breaking. Gandalf and Elrond were there looking over Frodo and Sam was awake. There was another healer there changing Frodo's bandage. I was relieved to see that the ring had been hung around Frodo's neck on a sturdy silver chain. I finally convinced Sam to go get a bath and change by promising him I wouldn't let Elrond or Gandalf leave until he returned.

"I'll be right back, Mr. Frodo," he said and left with the healer.

Elrond was checking Frodo's eyes when I approached the bed. The color was coming back into them and I was surprised to see that they were brown, not blue. His lips were pale pink and the circles under his eyes were fading, but still there. His skin was no longer grey, but very pale.

"How is he this morning?" I asked.

"His fëa is stronger. He is definitely on the mend," replied Elrond.

Elrond and Gandalf stayed until Sam returned, and then took their leave. The next few days passed without incident. Frodo had many visitors: Bilbo, Pippin and Merry, Arwen and Aragorn, and of course Elrond and Gandalf; but he never woke. Sam would talk to him constantly; Bilbo would read to him; Pippin and Merry would go on and on about the wonders they had seen that day; Arwen and Aragorn would speak little, but always came to check on him several times a day, sometimes together, sometimes separate. I didn't see Legolas or Gimli or Erestor or Glorfindel at all. Sam and I both took our meals in the room. Gandalf would always come and sit with Frodo at night and Elrond was always there with him in the morning when I arrived. Sam helped me bathe Frodo daily and on the third day, we washed his hair and with the help of the elven hair-syrup, carefully worked out the mats.

On the fourth day, Frodo woke. Elrond had come and gone and Sam and I had just gone to the kitchens to get breakfast; we'd left Gandalf with Frodo. By the time we returned, Frodo was asleep again. Gandalf told me Frodo had awakened and spoke with him and I knew what was coming. It wasn't long before preparations were being made for the feast and I had to convince Sam to go get cleaned up and change. He was still disappointed about not being there the first time Frodo woke up, but around lunchtime I managed to get Sam to go take care of himself by telling him Frodo would be up by the time he came back.

I went back to my room, grateful for the respite, my period had started the night before and although I knew which herbs would relieve the cramps and bloating, I was still more tired than usual. The undergarments the tailor had made were comfortable and extra thick pads attached to the inside with buttons. It was weird, but effective. I spent the rest of my afternoon getting ready for the feast. I laid out my green velvet dress and shoes and grabbed my stuff and headed for the shower. I decided to wear my hair down, with just the pale green ribbon holding it out of my face. When I was ready, I checked myself in the mirror. I had 

acquired some red berry juice and took a second to use a little on my cheeks and lips. I heard bells ringing and knew it was time. I headed towards the main hall. When I arrived, there were many people of all races milling about. I spotted Gimli and went over to him.

"Good evening, Lassie! You look lovely!" he said enthusiastically.

I grinned, "Thank you, you look quite handsome yourself, Gimli." He was wearing a long dark brown velvet tunic over matching velvet trousers and his beard was freshly washed, combed and braided.

When everyone began filing into the hall, I spotted Legolas and he approached me. "You look beautiful," he said and bowed, "May I escort you to your seat, my Lady?"

"Yes, thank you," I replied and curtsied. He was dressed in a sparkly silver robe and had a small silver circlet on his brow.

All were situated according to the book. Arwen was looking radiant under her canopy; Gandalf, Elrond and Glorfindel were on the dais looking like kings of legend. Aragorn and Bilbo were conspicuously absent. Frodo was sitting next to Gloin, and Pippin, Merry and Sam were sitting together. I had the honor of sitting between Legolas and Gimli. You might imagine that the conversation would have been fantastic in that seat, but actually, Legolas was locked in conversation for nearly the entire meal with Galdor to his right and Gimli was deeply engrossed in conversation with the dwarf on his left. I'd been in such a situation before. The last Army Ball I'd gone to I was seated between the two most obnoxious men in my company. The commander had arranged it that way specifically so that they couldn't annoy one another. Of course in that case, they both learned ahead of time that they were at the same table and neither showed, so I ended up sitting at a half-empty table between two place cards. I did the same thing at the feast that I did that night, I ate and drank in silence and watched the people around me.

Eventually the wonderful meal came to a close and Elrond and Arwen led the way to the Hall of Fire. When I entered the hall, Elrond was seated and Frodo and Bilbo were already reunited and deep in conversation with Sam seated nearby. Pippin and Merry were wandering around with their eyes wide and their mouths open gaping at all the sights and sounds. The dwarves had apparently decided to retire after dinner because none ever entered the hall. Soon, Aragorn arrived and Elladan and Elrohir shortly thereafter. I stood by, watching the merry gathering and witnessed many happy reunions. I sat alone near a pillar across from Frodo. Sam had fallen asleep and Bilbo and Aragorn had gone somewhere together. Frodo looked as alone in the crowd as I felt and before I knew it I had fallen into a dreamy, hazy, half-sleep. I was awakened by a hand on my shoulder, it was Legolas. I looked up at him and he smiled and knelt on one knee next to me.

"I apologize for being distracted at dinner. I greatly wished to speak with you."

"Don't worry about it, Legolas. There are many great people here and many great tidings to discuss. I honestly don't know why I was even invited, I am merely a healer. I saw no other servants of the household at the table."

"You are not merely a healer. You are a guest of Lord Elrond and an ambassador of your people," he replied.

"What good is an ambassador who can't report back?"

Legolas looked puzzled. Gandalf had apparently not told him about my past and although we discussed my people the other night, I didn't go into detail about how I got here. "Do you mean that you can not return to your people?"

"Legolas, I am the only one of my people in Middle Earth. Now that I have spent some time here, I do not see what is worth going back for."

He had a pained expression that broke my heart as he spoke, "Then you are alone? I was told that you were found alone, but . . ." he interrupted himself. "Were your people attacked? Are they all dead?"

"Perhaps they are alive and I am the one who is dead and this is the afterlife. Either way, they are gone and I am here."

"I am very sorry, Elaura. I did not know," he said and took my hand.

"I'm okay, Legolas. I was alone when I was with them. I can't really explain it. There are worse places to be than here, anyway."

He looked as if he were going to speak again, but just then Bilbo began his song and the hall was quiet. By the time he was finished, I felt tears in my eyes. The hall erupted in applause and Lindir asked him to sing it again. Something Lindir said then comparing mortals with sheep did not sit well with me, but I let it slide. Not long after, Frodo and Bilbo left the hall. The elven minstrels began a song of Elbereth and Legolas sat at my feet holding my hand and we listened. I slipped back into the half-sleep and imagined flying through a starry sky.

I was brought back to reality by a tugging on my hand. Legolas had stood and was urging me soundlessly to follow him out of the hall. I stood and followed, making no noise except the rustle of my dress. He led me into the trees and appeared to be looking for something in the darkness. He found it eventually; it was a very large, tall tree with many branches that were close together. Without speaking he began to climb. He looked back at me and held out his hand.

"You want me to climb a tree? In this dress?"

He grinned. "Yes, I won't let you fall, I promise."

"Sure, why the hell not?" I answered and began to climb.

I was instantly brought back to basic training. There was a "confidence course" that had an incredibly high ladder with unevenly spaced logs for rungs. I've always been afraid of heights and I still don't know how I got up and over that ladder. I remember repeating the word "shit" over and over until I reached the top where I asked the drill sergeant, who was attached to the ladder with a strap, "Do Al Qaeda have a tendency to hide at the top of very tall ladders?" I found myself doing it again, "Shit, shit, shit, shit." I couldn't look down and I couldn't look up, I just focused on the next branch. Legolas was never far away and when we reached the canopy, he allowed me to pass him and he climbed behind me. Soon he told me 

to stop and we sat on a pair of branches that formed a fairly solid seat. I had my eyes closed tight and was clutching the branches on either side with both hands.

"Open your eyes, _meleth nín_ S. my love."

I opened my eyes slowly, assured by the confidence in his voice and startled by the endearment. _Maybe it doesn't mean what I think._ I gasped at the sight. We could see the entire valley from where we sat. The Bruinen ran through it, a silver strand glittering in the moonlight like diamonds. The voices of the elven minstrels wove around us from far below. "Legolas! This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!"

He pried my hand from the branch and I held it and I felt him looking at me, "I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen as well, until I met you."

_OK, it's hard to mistranslate that one._ I wobbled and nearly lost my balance, he reached forward instantly and steadied me. I swallowed, but my throat was dry. "Um, pardon my skepticism, I mean, I'm not saying you say that to all the girls, but I don't see how you can possibly feel that way. I mean, LOOK at you, there isn't a single elf in Middle Earth you couldn't have. You hardly even KNOW me. Besides, I know how to use a mirror."

"I cannot understand your self-doubt. Though you are not elf-kind you must know that all beauty is not what one sees in a mirror. That is why I say 'until I _met_ you'. You are lovely to look upon, but it is not your dress or your hair or your body that I find draws me to you. It is your heart and your strength. Every new thing that I learn about you makes me love you the more."

"Love, Legolas? Perhaps 'love' is a word that elves use more freely than mortals. I will tell you this and take it to heart; mortals do not bandy that word about. They do not give their hearts easily. We may not give up our fëa when our hearts are broken, but we suffer just as deeply if not more so because we live with the scars. A mortal heart may seem a temporary plaything to you, but it is the only one I have and I protect it."

"I do not see your heart as a plaything, nor do I see it as temporary. I have already lost my heart to you, if you were to give me yours, I would keep it always, throughout my life."

"You could stand by and watch me die, knowing that our fëa would be parted forever? The Eldar and Edain are not meant for each other, Legolas. As much as I have dreamed of this moment, if I let you commit yourself to me, knowing your fate, it would be selfish and I could not truly say that I love you."

"You are saying that if you love me, we can not be together and that if we are together it means that you do not love me? This is something I do not understand."

"Legolas, I DO love you. That's why I can't let you give me your heart. I would be condemning you to ages of heartache or worse."

"Perhaps. Perhaps I would prefer a moment of love to many lifetimes without it. I have already lived many life-spans of mortal men and have not found love; now that I have I will not let it slip through my fingers."

I remembered the hopelessness in the poem he wrote to me. I felt my throat getting tight and my eyes begin to water. _If I let this happen, it won't change the story. I'll be dead long before Aragorn; Legolas will still go with Gimli across the sea. He's right here, right now. All I have to do is reach out and accept him. God! I thought the ring was tempting. Think! Think of an argument, think of something!_ "What about your father? Would he not be appalled at you giving your heart to a mortal woman?" It was lame, but it was worth a shot. Last thing I needed was to be on the bad side of a freakin' king.

"My father?" he said it like he was shocked that I would even think along those lines. "My father has never wanted anything more than the safety of his kingdom and the happiness of his people, myself included."

"Legolas, I need time. I know already what my heart wants. I must ask you to promise me one thing, on Elbereth, on everything you hold sacred."

"I would promise you anything my duty would allow, Elaura."

It was a good answer, the words 'my duty' told me everything I ever needed to know about him. "You must promise me you will not give up your immortality. You will not allow yourself to fade," _you will not suffer Arwen's fate,_ I added to myself.

He was torn, I could tell. He hadn't expected me to make such a demand. "If I promise you this, will you bind yourself to me?"

"I will consider it, Legolas. I understand a year's engagement is traditional among the Eldar? Let us give it that time, then. I will give you my answer in one year."

He took both my hands in his and looked me in the eyes, "Then I will make that promise. _Gwesto-im, gerich veleth nín._ S. I swear, you have my love. I will not give up my fëa nor my immortality, by Elbereth."

I did not understand all of his words and memorized them to translate later. The tears began to flow and I leaned into his embrace. I knew what I had just done; I had given up my heart to the most unlikely being who ever lived; someone I had been in love with since I saw the animated version of The Lord of the Rings when I was a little girl. I cried a very long time and he held me without speaking. The song from the Hall of Fire wove around us.

I fell asleep in his arms and as the sun came up over the mountains he woke me. We watched the sunrise together without words. When the sun had cleared the mountaintops, we climbed down and walked hand in hand back to the house.

We stopped at the foot of the stairs and I stood in front of him, _"Na-den pedim ad, meleth nín _S. Until we speak again, my love," he said.

"_Le annon veleth nín_ S. I give my love to you, Legolas," I answered and then we kissed under the light of the new day.

I turned and went back to my room, feeling as if I was floating on air. I immediately went to my desk to translate the words Legolas had used. It was burned into my mind. "_Gwesto-im, gerich veleth nín._ . . . I swear, you have my love". I sat back and let it wash over me.

_This can't be happening. I've waited my whole life for this and now that it's happening I don't believe it. I'm not unnaturally beautiful, or talented. I'm no great warrior. I'm just me and Legolas loves me. If I ever wake up from this dream I'll KILL the bastard who woke me up!_

Eventually I roused myself and went to the shower. I cleaned up and changed into the gold dress, wondering what I was supposed to do that day. I knew that the Council would be sometime soon and wondered what I was supposed to do. There was a soft knock on my door.

"One moment," I said and opened the door; it was Erestor. "Yes, my Lord?"

"I apologize if I woke you, Lord Elrond is holding a council this morning and would like you to attend." he said.

"It's very kind of him to think of me. I'll be there, my Lord," I replied.

"The bell will herald the time, my Lady," Erestor said and left.

I didn't expect to be able to talk to Legolas at the council, but I looked forward to seeing him again. The council occurred just as Tolkien had written. I sat outside the main circle and I was the only female there. I was slightly amused that Elrond and Gandalf stuck to the script even though I'd already given them the Cliff's notes. Frodo was looking a little out of his depth but healthy and well rested. Bilbo was seated next to him and behind them sat Sam, looking as if he were trying very hard not to be seen. Introductions were made (though Sam and I were passed over and we exchanged a mutual glance of relief); the only person in attendance I hadn't already met or at least seen before was Boromir. I knew him immediately because he was wearing the horn of Gondor and looked like he could've been related to Aragorn. They were easily the same height, their hair was about the same color and length and their eyes were the same light bluish-grey. Boromir was broader in the shoulders and chest than Aragorn though, and his dress and demeanor was more regal. Aragorn was in his travel stained clothes again but was calm and rested; Boromir looked travel-weary and edgy. At one point early on I met Legolas' eyes and he smiled. I smiled back and nodded slightly.

I was awed to be present at such a momentous occasion. I listened carefully and was amazed that even Tolkien's telling was not as moving as actually being there. Although I knew how it would go I was still hanging on every word. At length it came to a close and as I expected, everyone was very busy after the Council so I went back to my room to read and work on translations. After about an hour or so there was a knock on my door.

"Yes?"

The door opened and Erestor walked in. He smiled broadly when he saw me hard at work with my parchments. "Lord Elrond would like to speak to you in his study."

"I'll be right there," I replied and Erestor left. I straightened my dress, smoothed my hair and headed to Elrond's study. When I got there, Elrond, Gandalf, Aragorn and Legolas were seated; Gandalf and Elrond behind it and Aragorn to my right and Legolas to my left. I smiled at Legolas as I walked in and stood in the middle of the group, in front of the desk. 

There was no chair for me. My lighthearted mood left me,_ Uh-oh. Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this?_

"Yes, my Lord. You wished to see me?"

"We have been discussing your situation," Elrond said.

"My situation?" I repeated.

"Mithrandir and I have told Prince Legolas and Aragorn of the danger you might face if Saruman or Sauron were to find you. We have not discussed the details, but they understand the importance of keeping you safe."

"Keeping me safe," I repeated Elrond's words again waiting for the other boot to drop.

"We have decided that the safest place for you to be is Mirkwood. King Thranduil's realm is well protected," Gandalf stated authoritatively.

"Mirkwood, I see," I said and it began to sink in. _They want to get me out of the way. My safety? How about your safety?_ "So, _'WE'_ have decided I'm to go to Mirkwood until all this blows over, is that it?" I was starting to get angry. "What's wrong with Rivendell?"

"I do not have as many warriors as King Thranduil, many of my people have already crossed over the sea," Elrond replied. "Prince Legolas assures me Thranduil would be more than happy to have you at his court." Aragorn and Legolas remained silent.

"Legolas has assured you." I set my jaw and turned to look at Legolas, "It was your idea to send me away to Mirkwood, was it?"

He nodded "yes" and cocked his head with an innocent look that told me he had no idea why I was getting upset. _You'll figure it out soon enough, buster!_

"King Thranduil's palace is beautiful, you will be very comfortable there," said Gandalf, reading my growing fury and trying to head it off.

"A gilded cage?" I answered, tipping my hand. I remembered Éowyn's ire at being left behind and it fed my wrath. _They all think of me as a weak woman with no place in any of this. So much for being an ambassador._ Then I really got going, "The most brilliant minds in Middle Earth and all you can think to do is imprison me in Mirkwood?! I could believe this of all of you, but I have a hard time believing that the Lady of Lórien thought this was the best course." I could feel the tension in the room rise.

"In truth, the Lady did not agree that taking you to Mirkwood is the only option, but she could not offer a safer alternative," Elrond replied.

"Safe? May I remind you that thirteen dwarves and Gollum managed to escape from Mirkwood?"

Legolas bristled and stood up taking a step toward me, "The creature had help from the orcs, Elaura!"

I spun on him, "Oh no! It's back to "my Lady" for you, your majesty! Orcs or no orcs, a thief with a magic ring or no, you all KNOW that Mirkwood will be a target of the Enemy before this is over and I'll end up locked in the dungeons for my own safety," then I leveled my eyes and lowered my voice and added, "and yours." Legolas looked at the others one at a time with an expression of shock.

Aragorn put up his hand indicating for Legolas to calm himself and sit down. Then he spoke to me quietly, "Then you will not go?"

"Of course I'll go!" I snapped at him. "I'm used to taking orders that don't make any sense, but I don't have to like it!"

"The instances you have referred to were of those trying to get out of Mirkwood, not trying to get in, my Lady," Gandalf said calmly, "Are you implying that if you were to go there you would attempt to escape? You are not being ordered to go, you will not be imprisoned, and you would be a guest of the King."

"No, I would not attempt to escape; a 'guest' can't escape can she? I assume I'll have to stay within the palace walls? So much for not being punished for being honest. I suppose you can guarantee that the palace won't be attacked? Won't be overrun?"

"The palace walls have never been breached, my Lady," Legolas replied in a reassuring tone tinged with hurt and anger.

"Still, there are no guarantees," Elrond stated gravely.

"I see, and when should I expect to leave?" I asked, trying to control my temper.

"The party from Mirkwood will go east when the Fellowship departs. You will go with them," Gandalf replied.

"Well, at least that gives me a month, if I recall correctly. By your leave, Lord Elrond, I will continue my training with Gimli and the healers and my lessons with Lord Erestor until that time."

"As you wish, my Lady," Elrond said evenly.

_As I wish, sure._ "Am I excused, my Lords?"

"Yes," Elrond replied.

"Good day," I said and spun on my heel, pointedly not looking at either Legolas or Aragorn on my way out. I ran into Erestor who was just reaching for the doorknob on the other side as I was opening it.

He saw the grim expression on my face and asked, "Is everything all right, my Lady?"

"I'm fine, my Lord. Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. Just FINE!" I replied and pushed past him trying to get as far away as possible before I screamed or burst into tears.

The last thing I heard was Aragorn's voice, "No Legolas, give her time to calm down."

I smiled grimly at that. "Arwen must be a pistol when she's mad," I said under my breath.


	19. Many Apologies

Many Apologies by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**Mary Sue alert! I can't help it, it just keeps happening! The story is writing itself, I'm just the messenger. If you think it's fun, you try having so many voices in your head. Actually, I'm having a ball. Hope you are enjoying reading as much as I am enjoying writing! **

**By the way, one more chapter to go… evil smirk**

**Just a reminder, I claim ownership of none of J.R.R. Tolkien's original plot or characters; however, Elaura and her story Typically Atypical are Copyrighted 2006.**

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I left the library intent on finding a place I could be alone, but every turn yielded people. Elves, men, hobbits, dwarves, the house was absolutely CRAWLING with people. They all looked at me, as I rushed through the house, with expressions of concern; some even had to step aside quickly to let me pass. _God! How can I get away from all these people?_

I burst out the front doors and down the steps breathing heavily and feeling quite suffocated in my attempt to stifle the tears that were threatening to fall. I wanted to scream, but there was no place in Rivendell I could release it that some elf would not hear and come running. I found myself racing down the path to the training grounds.

When I finally reached the glade I found Glorfindel surrounded by a troop of elflings. He heard my approach and was already making his way toward me with a very concerned look on his face.

"My Lady, is something the matter?"

"Yes, Glorfindel, and no. I just need to break something, kill something, and/or beat something to a bloody pulp before I explode."

The elflings were looking on from where Glorfindel had left them. "I see; I believe I can help you. Come with me."

He motioned for the tallest of the elflings to come to him and he led me toward the weapons barn. He spoke to the boy in Elvish and the elfling returned to the others and resumed their lesson. Then he turned to me, "Is there something you wish to discuss?"

"Not yet, Glorfindel, maybe after I release some of this tension."

He led me into the barn to a corner stacked with practice dummies. On our way, he took a silver bladed sword from the wall. He set up one dummy which rather looked like an orc and handed me the hilt of the sword. "Destroy it, my Lady. You will not stop until I see nothing recognizable."

I didn't have to be told twice. I raised the blade above my head and brought my full strength down on the blackened head, growling like an animal as I struck. The blade was sharp and the head split like a melon. Sand poured from the wound and I swung the blade at its neck. 

The remainder of the head went flying. I then laid into the chest of the beast with a mighty grunt.

Glorfindel had stepped a safe distance away and was watching me, "You will lose your balance that way, spread your feet apart and thrust at its heart," he said in a serious tone.

I remembered my "warrior stance" and pulled the hilt back to my face, then stepped forward and jabbed. The sword went clean through the chest and more sand poured out.

"You are not half-finished my Lady, perhaps you should rest?"

"Like hell I will!" I said and pulled the blade out, taking my next shot between the dummy's legs. Sand fell out of the canvas shape and I heard Glorfindel shift and clear his throat behind me. My next swipe took off the dummy's right arm and the next its left. _"Tis but a flesh wound!"_ flew through my mind and I began to laugh as I cut off its legs and it fell over.

Finally out of breath, I slowed my attack. Laughing hysterically, I pounded at the torso until the blade began to strike the earth beneath.

"My Lady? I believe it is dead now."

I tried to control my laughter and stood, "Yes (breath) I think (breath) I got him! (pant-pant)." I lowered the sword and turned around to face Glorfindel. I was grinning and I saw that he was laughing as well.

"Do you feel better, my Lady?"

I took a deep breath, "Yes, I do."

Glorfindel stepped forward and looked down at the lump of sand and canvas, "I should hope never to be the object of your wrath, my Lady."

"Oh God, Glorfindel! I've been such an ass," I said and sighed heavily. "They just want to keep me safe, that's all. What on earth makes me think I would be useful to anyone in the war to come?"

Glorfindel was still looking at the dummy, "I would not turn down your blade in a fight, my Lady."

"It was a surprise attack," I giggled, "I'm quite certain he wasn't ready for me."

"I can not foresee any creature being ready for your fury."

"Oh, and that's the worst of it," I replied, remembering the look of shock on Legolas' face. "I can't imagine poor Legolas has ever had a woman speak to him that way before."

"If Prince Legolas has never felt the anger of a female, I should think it is high time he did. Do you wish to tell me about it now, my Lady?"

"Are you sure you aren't expected back at the class?" I asked and motioned in the general direction of the glade.

"They will be fine without me. You must know that as a leader one must attend to warriors' hearts as well as teaching them to fight?"

"Of course, we were taught that in my country. The two basic responsibilities of a leader are the accomplishment of the mission and the welfare of the soldier."

"Then let us find a quiet spot and discuss this," Glorfindel said and led me out of the barn. He took the sword from me and replaced it on the wall.

We walked around the back of the barn to a small stream, he motioned for me to sit down on a rock nearby and he sat next to me. "Now, tell me what the _urquin_ have done to you."

"_'Urquin?'_" I asked, not recognizing the term.

"'Orcs', my dear, I forgot Erestor has not yet taught you Quenya."

"There won't be time, now. I'm to leave Rivendell in a month."

"Then we must get this sorted out quickly. You will not wish to waste time being angry with your _melindo_."

_'Melindo?' I recognize that one, he means my "lover." Maybe I'll never get used to everyone knowing my business._ "How did you know, Glorfindel?"

"I can hear it in your voice. I can hear it in the way you say his name."

I smiled. "Yes, of course. Is it true the Eldar can tell by speaking with someone whether or not they are married?"

"Yes, in fact I can hear that you were married, and you were also once with child, but something happened and you have neither husband nor child now."

I nodded, "Do elves have any understanding of divorce? Of a marriage breaking before either partner has died? Do you even have a word for it?"

"We have no word for the parting of spouses; it has been known to happen, though rarely. Fëanor's wife left him. Then again, many marriages have been sundered when the wife or the husband has passed over the sea or died. On the other hand, some Eldar have been known to unite in body without being wed, Galadriel and Celeborn were lovers for some time before they finally united in heart. Was it not this way with the man you called your husband? You united in body but never in heart?"

"Yes, we thought we were in love, but when life got hard the marriage couldn't withstand it. I never felt about him the way I do about Legolas, though. As for the child, I was pregnant only once and I miscarried early."

_"Ai, haryal nyérenya_ Q. Alas, you have my grief, such a thing does not happen among the Eldar."

"In the end, it was probably for the best. My husband and I would've tried harder to stay together if we'd had the baby and then we would've just been miserable with each other that much longer."

"I see. Now what happened to make you so angry?"

"Well, I was summoned to Lord Elrond's study, he and Gandalf and Aragorn and Legolas decided I should go to King Thranduil's court. They think I'll be safe there until Sauron is defeated."

"This angered you because you wish to fight and you do not wish to be hidden away. And because they made the decision without you."

"You know women pretty well, don't you Glorfindel?"

"I have known many women, both Eldar and Edain, but more importantly I recognize a warrior when I meet one and the worst thing one can do to a warrior is take him or her out of the fight."

"I should never have spoken to them that way, though. I was so angry I could barely contain myself. They truly just want to keep me safe, I know that."

"No one is safe now. You may have a place in this that even you do not suspect. Do you wish for me to speak on your behalf? I may be able to convince Lord Elrond to allow you to stay. You may be an asset in the defense of Rivendell before all is said and done; I would be happy to instruct you."

"No, thank you Glorfindel. I will find a way to apologize and I'll go to Mirkwood. The last thing Legolas needs in his journey is to be worried about me. Who knows? They will probably need another healer in Mirkwood. The palace will come under attack eventually. I accept your offer of instruction, though. That sword felt very good in my hands. Gimli is teaching me how to wield an axe, but I can see where a sword might come in handy as well."

"A month is a short time, but I have taught many in the same length of time. When would you like to begin?"

"I will tell Gimli to meet me at the training grounds in the mornings; we will be needing the targets now, anyway. Perhaps he won't be offended if I split my time between axe and sword."

"May I make a suggestion?"

"Of course!"

"Remember your rage, it will serve you well, but keep a cool head. Do not let it get in the way of your accuracy."

"I will, my Lord. May I ask you one last question?"

"Yes."

"How does one apologize to a Prince, an _istar_, the future king of Gondor and the Lord of Rivendell?"

He laughed, "The same way one apologizes to anyone, with sincerity."

"You're a big help, Glorfindel."

I hopped off the rock and we walked back to the glade. The elflings were hard at work and off to one side sat my little friend, watching them. Glorfindel bid me farewell and I walked over and sat next to the boy. He had his arm in a sling and a crutch was propped against the tree he was leaning on. He was also wearing a dark green neck-brace. He grinned at me, _"Mae govannen!"_ I said.

_"Gîl síla erin lû e-govaded vín!_ S. A star shines upon the hour of our meeting!," he replied. _"Le hannon, híril nín_ S. I thank you, my lady, for saving my life."

_"Buion na 'ell, mellon nín_ S. I serve with joy, my friend," I answered. "How are you feeling? I'm sorry I haven't been to see you, I've had my hands full lately."

"I understand. Father told me the _perian_ was very sick, but you saved him too! Are you an _istar_?"

"No silly, I'm not a wizard. It wasn't me who saved Frodo, either. That was all Lord Elrond and Mithrandir. Now tell me how you're feeling."

"Oh, I am well," he answered a little dejectedly.

"But you wish you were better so that you could be with them?" I said and motioned to the group in the glade.

"Yes. I am weary of being tied up in these bandages. I wish to run and climb and train again."

"It won't be long, _mellon nín_. I hope that you'll remember this the next time you're eavesdropping and fall asleep in a tree."

_"Goheno nin, híril nín,_ S. Forgive me, my lady, my lady mother did chastise me greatly for that."

_"Ú-moe edaved,_ S. It is not necessary to forgive, just be more careful. To tell you the truth, you can learn a lot by eavesdropping, but sometimes you regret ever hearing it. When you eavesdrop, sometimes you only hear part of a conversation and then you get the wrong idea. I listened in on an argument between my parents once and didn't stay for the apologies, I was afraid for a week that they didn't love each other anymore."

"I will take your advice, my lady. I will not eavesdrop anymore. Not on purpose, anyway."

"I'm glad to hear it. Now, I have apologies of my own to make. _Na-den pedim ad, mellon nín_ S. Until we speak again, my friend."

_"Navaer!_ S. Farewell!"

I left him and walked toward the house, wondering if I should apologize to them all together or one by one. My decision was made for me when I ran into Aragorn on the path.

"Well met, my Lord," I said.

"_Suilad_ S. Greetings my lady, I was looking for you."

"I was discussing matters with Glorfindel. I want to tell you first that I'm sorry. I should never have behaved that way. I don't know what came over me; you all have my best interests at heart, I know that."

He smiled, "I am not unacquainted with the feelings of women. I understand why you were angry and I accept your apology. I wish to speak with you about Legolas."

"Yes, Legolas. Was he terribly angry? I feel just awful about him especially. He looked so surprised at my reaction. He doesn't have much experience with women, does he?"

"No, he does not. He was not angry with you and he understood your ire after I explained it to him. If he is going to give his heart to a woman, he must get used to their moods. But that is what I wish to speak to you about."

"Yes, go on."

"He has offered you his heart?"

"Yes."

"You realize that as one of the Eldar, but more importantly because he is who he is, that once you accept it he will never give it to another, even after your passing?"

I swallowed hard. "You mean that widows and widowers do not remarry?"

"Most of the Eldar fade when their spouse dies, but I understand you made him promise that he would not. Some that do not fade remarry. Legolas will not. I know him well, we have been friends for many years and I have never known him to break a promise or to take back something once it is given."

I took a deep breath, trying to wrap my brain around Aragorn's words. "Are you suggesting that I don't accept his love? That we do not bind ourselves to one another? I will take your advice on the subject very seriously; I know you face a similar dilemma."

"As you have said, I must make the same decision. I do not offer advice, I simply wish for you to know all the facts before you decide."

"Thank you, my lord. But may I offer you my thoughts?"

"Please," he responded.

"Don't you think that as elves, Legolas and Arwen may better understand the risks than we do? Imagine living millennia knowing that one had a chance at love and passed it up out of fear. We mortals can fool ourselves into thinking we're being noble in sacrificing our happiness; we have but a short time, in comparison, to keep up the ruse. They have plenty of time to ponder the truth. If they have already offered their hearts, isn't it possible that they have truly already given them and that we are thinking too highly of ourselves believing we have any choice in the matter at all?"

He chuckled softly, "You have given me much to think about. It is good to speak with someone who is in the same situation. Promise me one thing, for my friend's sake . . ."

"If you will promise me the same, my lord," I answered. I had a good idea what he was about to ask.

"Aye, I will. Promise me that you will make your time with Legolas something that will sustain him when you are gone."

"I'll do my best to fill our short time with joy and laughter and love, Aragorn."

"I will do the same for Arwen."

"It's a deal! Do you know where I can find him?"

"I believe he said that he was going to 'the most beautiful place' to think. Do you know what he meant?"

"I believe I do, thank you." We said our farewells and I headed in the direction of the tall tree. It took some looking, but I knew it by the position of the branches. I climbed with determination, barely considering the height and my fear. It was nothing compared to the apprehension I felt about apologizing. Soon, I could see his form, perched on the branches we had sat on the night before.

"Legolas!" I called up to him, I knew he'd already heard me climbing, but there was no way I was going to take a chance of surprising him way up here. He looked down at me and offered me his hand, I was shaking. He pulled me up facing him, the late afternoon sun made the tracks of recently shed tears glisten on his face. I felt my heart torn to pieces. I forgot my fear.

I swore to myself that I would never make him cry again. "Oh Legolas, I'm so sorry! I don't have the words to tell you how sorry I am! I should never have spoken to you that way. I understand you just want me to be safe. Please, please forgive me."

_"Gerich faer vara, meleth nín_ S. You have a fiery spirit, my love, there is no need to apologize for that."

I'm not apologizing for that, Legolas. I am apologizing for hurting you. I swear I'll never do it again, just please forgive me."

He smiled and his face shone like the sun, "Do not swear something you can not guarantee. Aragorn tells me it is common for those in love to say and do hurtful things to one another, both accidentally and on purpose. I realize now that making such a decision in your absence was hurtful as well. Please accept my apology; I am simply not accustomed to the ways of love."

"You have no reason to apologize to me. I hope to keep you ignorant of some of the 'ways of love' Legolas. Your heart is too precious for me to chip away at it with petty arguments."

"Would you keep a child from ever running again simply because he fell and scraped his knee? Nay, do not protect me from you. I would rather know you completely; in truth, though your rage was a surprise, it is endearing to me."

"'Endearing'? Then can you tell me why I find you with tear-tracks on your face?"

"I wept when I heard you climbing, for I had just been wishing that I could share this beautiful sunset with you and then you were here. Such happy coincidences always bring tears to my eyes."

_So childlike. May you never grow up, my love._ I turned to watch the sunset and as it sank below the ridge I whispered, "_Gerich veleth nín an-uir,_ Legolas S. You have my love forever."

He pulled me into him with my back to his chest and held me tightly, "And you have mine."

The sunset was indeed beautiful. As I sat watching it, I felt no pain, no worry; I was completely at peace. Legolas began to sing softly:

_That time of year thou mayst in me behold  
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang  
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,  
Bare ruined choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.  
In me thou see'st the twilight of such day  
As after sunset fadeth in the west;  
Which by and by black night doth take away,  
Death's second self, that seals up all in rest.  
In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire,  
That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,  
As the death-bed, whereon it must expire,  
Consumed with that which it was nourish'd by.  
This thou perceiv'st, which makes thy love more strong,  
To love that well, which thou must leave ere long. ŧ_

I wondered if he was referring to leaving me on his quest or me leaving him when I die. Either way, I was crying again. I'd cried more since I got to Middle Earth than I probably ever cried in my life. It was very freeing.

I was amazed at the paradox in Legolas. He always seemed like springtime and dawn, a child in the bloom of youth; I could not fathom his dark side, the side of him that had been alive 

and been fighting for the lives of his kin against the issue of Dol Guldur for hundreds of years. I decided to ask him about it, risking the serenity of the moment.

"Legolas, how can I reconcile the paradox in you?"

He looked at me and although I expected him to be confused by my question he wasn't. In fact, he'd read my mind apparently, because he answered it, "Do you not have facets? Can you not be childlike yet motherly, can you not save lives and yet still take them at need? Are you not all seasons in one? The Eldar may seem a paradox, but we are no more puzzling than mortals."

"What puzzles you about me?"

"I do not understand how mortals can be so serious all the time. I would think that if one has less time, one would attempt to enjoy it all the more. Battle and death are grave, but when the lament is done many mortals continue to allow the memory to haunt them and darken all their days."

"I see your point, Legolas. I have no explanation, perhaps it is that we lack the confidence that the Eldar place in Mandos. We are uncertain of our end; we do not have the memory of Valinor to sustain us."

"Ah, but I was born in Middle Earth as well. I have no proof but the tales of those who came before me that my fëa will be sustained. Yet still I have no fear of death."

"You seem to have no fear at all." I said, almost to myself.

"Nay, there is one thing I fear. I fear failure. I fear that others may come to harm as a result of my action or inaction."

I smiled ruefully, "That is my greatest fear as well."

"But not your only fear?"

I looked down and grabbed the tree branch, "No, not my only fear."

He grinned, "Were you not afraid when you climbed up here without me?"

"Oh I was, I am, but I was more concerned with apologizing. You still haven't said you forgive me."

He laughed and hugged me tighter, "I forgive you, _meleth!_ Look! The stars are shining, are you ready to descend?"

"Only if you go first," I said and my fear of heights washed over me again.

He laughed, "There is no other way down." He began to climb down and I climbed after him, clutching every branch until my knuckles were white.

At the bottom, I sat and looked up at him, "I'll never get used to that no matter how many times I do it."

"You are a brave one, Elaura."

"Brave? You think I'm brave? I was terrified."

"Bravery is not a reflection of what one does without fear; it is what one accomplishes in the face of fear."

"I'll take your word for it. Speaking of fear, I still have three more apologies to make."

"Come, dine with me. Apologies are much easier on a full stomach."

"Ok, you talked me into it."

He led me back to the Mirkwood compound where the evening meal was already being served. We sat in the grass and ate another delicious meal. There was not as much food as there had been my first evening with him, but it was just as good and this time I didn't have to pay a toll to eat the cake, although I would've gladly done it.

To my surprise, there were no jealous glances at me from the female (or male) elves. Everyone seemed genuinely happy that their prince had finally found love. There was much singing and dancing in the open field. The elves were merry as usual and I felt safe and happy. Soon though, I remembered my mission and had to say goodnight.

I stood and said, "As much as I hate to leave, I can't sleep with this on my conscience. I have to go, Legolas."

He walked me back to the house again and I wondered if I could make it the next month without giving in to my hormones . . . let alone an entire year!

At the steps, he pulled me into his strong embrace and kissed me passionately. I was lost in the sensation, his touch, his taste, his smell. By the time he broke the kiss my head was swimming; I couldn't feel my legs and I nearly lost my balance.

"'Not accustomed to the ways of love' my eye. Where'd you learn that, then?" I asked.

He smiled mischievously, but said nothing.

"Good point, I probably don't want to know. Goodnight, Legolas."

"_Losto mae, lóthminei nín_ S. Sleep well, my unique flower," he said and went back down the path.

I turned and walked up the steps, still a little lightheaded. I figured the best place to start looking would be Elrond's study. I knocked and heard his voice, "Enter, my lady."

_Here goes._ I opened the door and found Elrond and Gandalf sitting where I had left them and Erestor and Glorfindel were in the chairs Aragorn and Legolas had been in earlier. I stepped 

up to the desk and began, "My lord Elrond, Mithrandir, my lord Erestor, I wish to apologize for my behavior earlier. I had no right to be angry with you. You have much more important issues to think about than what happens to me, I appreciate that you have given my welfare consideration at all. Thank you."

"It has been a long time since I have had to consider the feelings of a female," began Elrond. "As you know, my daughter has recently returned from Lothlórien and my lady wife passed over the sea more than five hundred years ago. I accept your apology and I ask your forgiveness for assuming too much on your behalf. I have to admit I was puzzled at first by your response, but Glorfindel has explained it to me."

I turned and smiled and bowed my head gratefully at Glorfindel; he grinned back.

"I also accept your apology, my dear." It was Gandalf. "I must confess, I knew you would be unhappy with our making this choice for you, but I did not guess you would respond so forcefully. If I had, I might have prepared Legolas. I trust you have made up with him already?"

I blushed, "Yes, thank you." I turned to Erestor, "My lord, you have been kind and patient with me. I have no excuse for shouting at you, would you please forgive me?"

He raised his eyebrows, "Only if you explain to me what 'fucked-up' and 'neurotic' mean, my lady."

"Perhaps that can wait until my lesson tomorrow evening, my lord?" I asked hopefully.

"It can wait, you are forgiven," he answered.

"I will go happily to Mirkwood, my lords. Thank you again for your consideration and your forgiveness. If there is nothing more you wish to say to me, I am quite sleepy."

"Go and rest, my lady," Elrond replied. "Sleep well and do not concern yourself with this matter again."

"Yes my lord, goodnight." I turned and left the room, relieved. I went straight back to my room and went to bed.

* * *

**ŧ Shakespeare's Sonnet #73 **


	20. Legolas has a fright

Legolas has a fright - Or - What's a couple of fingers between friends? by Elaura

**Author's Notes: :D**

The next morning I rose before dawn. I put on the required undergarments and dressed in my own training clothes. The soft brown leather pants fit like a glove. I pulled a rust-colored shirt out of my closet put it on and laced it up the front, covering my gold cross. I pulled the well-tailored leather tunic on over the shirt and put on my boots, tucking the pants legs into their tops.

I found a medium-sized leather pack in my chest. I wasn't sure how it got there, but I figured I'd need it so I put it and my water skin on the bed. Next, I took out my weapons. First, I strapped my knife on my right calf. Next, I put on the belt and attached the hatchets and pipe-weed pouch. I put the real axe into the harness and strapped it on, comfortably but securely. I hid my pipe away in my bag, pulled back my hair and slung the water skin and the bag over my shoulder. I grabbed my training axe and headed out.

I went to the kitchen and packed something for breakfast and lunch. I felt efficient, competent and dangerous. I filled my water skin on my way out.

I hadn't spoken to Gimli yet, so I turned right toward the pub. I found him alone, sitting on the porch looking at the pale morning sky. "Good morning, Gimli!"

"Good morning, Lassie! You look like you are ready for battle! Shall we begin?"

"Actually Gimli, I have a favor to ask you. I know you aren't over fond of elves, but I have accepted Glorfindel's offer to train me with a sword. I was hoping, with your blessing of course, that we could continue our training at the regular training grounds and I could split my mornings between axe and sword. If you don't like the idea, I can find another time to train with Glorfindel . . ." I looked at him hopefully and smiled my sweetest smile.

"You needn't use your feminine wiles on me, lass. It won't work. You are correct that I do not like the company of those arrogant . . . humph, well, nevermind that. It is a good plan, lass. No dwarf would ever come between a warrior and her training. We needed to start with a target anyway."

"Thank you, Gimli. I promise I'll work twice as hard. I understand our time is limited."

"Aye, lass. Not to worry! I've trained lesser warriors than you in a shorter amount of time."

I basked in the compliment. I also marveled at how similar his words were to those of Glorfindel. I'd known for a long time that warriors of all races have a common thread in their psyche and I was glad to see that Middle Earth was no exception.

We arrived at the training ground to find it already filled with people. The elves of Mirkwood, Legolas included, were practicing archery. Aragorn was there sparring with Boromir. To my surprise, several of Gimli's company were there as well. Glorfindel was there with the troop of elflings and my injured friend was near them.

"Perhaps we should arrive earlier tomorrow, Gimli?"

"It is not the quantity, lass; it is the quality. Now, we'll spend the first hour relearning what your muscles have forgotten. I assume you have not forgotten how to curse?"

"Never!"

"You know the drill, lass. Ground your training axe and bag and begin!"

I proceeded to take out my axe, assume my warrior stance, and replace it in the harness over and over for the next hour. Although I slipped once or twice and sliced my fingertips (but not badly), Gimli never relented his constant mantra of "Again lass! Faster!" I began to feel like he was showing off for the others at my expense.

Eventually I cut myself one too many times and yelled, "You fucking sadistic dwarf! How much blood do you want from me?!"

"He leveled his eyes at me and said, "Good lassie. Use that, but control it."

His words were familiar and I calmed myself. I focused on the mental picture of the harness and axe behind me. I felt a matrix-like slowing of time and began to get it right every time. After another twenty minutes or so I smiled evilly at Gimli.

"Would you like a rest now, lassie? I think you should switch to the training axe and practice with the dummy."_ I guess he caught my look._

Glorfindel approached with a sword in his hand, it was the silver-bladed one from yesterday. Two tall elflings carried an orc-shaped target dummy toward us. "Will you be needing this, Master Dwarf?" he addressed Gimli.

"Aye," Gimli grunted in response.

"Thank you, Glorfindel," I said.

"Take some water lassie and let's get started!"

I sighed, "Yes, Master." _Ass._

The elflings set up the target and Gimli showed me how to stand and a few simple strokes. To the neck, to the head and turning, to the back of the legs. I practiced these with the training axe, first slowly and then faster. It had all the weights attached and it began to dawn on me that my upper body had become much stronger. I grunted and heaved and eventually got the three strokes down pretty well.

After another two hours and many, many curses in as many languages as I could remember, Gimli shouted, "Enough!"

I was startled. "Why'd you yell at me? I'm right here, dammit!"

He grinned, "Because I've been telling you to stop for five minutes, lassie."

I sighed and let the wooden axe head fall between my legs. I was sweating heavily. "Oh, sorry! I guess I was concentrating."

"You're a quick study, before I leave I want to spar with you," Gimli said.

"If you promise not to take my head, Gimli. I kind of like it where it is."

"I make no promises, lass!" he laughed and we took a break, watching the others for a few moments.

Pippin and Merry had arrived and were with Aragorn and Boromir. They were teaching the hobbits how to use the weight of their opponent against them. It looked at first like the men weren't really taking them seriously, but after landing on their butts at least once each, Aragorn and Boromir began to pay more attention.

I caught sight of Legolas and had a wicked thought. "I'll be right back, Gimli." I walked over to where Legolas was standing; he had nocked an arrow and was aiming at the target, where he had already hit several bull's-eyes. He was explaining to his companion how important it was to focus on one's stance and release, regardless of distraction. _Perfect timing!_ I leaned towards him and as he released, blew in his ear in a move very reminiscent of the scene from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Just like the movie, Legolas' arrow flew wild. He looked at me nonplussed and I grinned and spun on my heel, walking back toward Gimli, hearing the sounds of not-too-muffled laughter behind me.

"Good one lassie! I suppose I'll have to forgive you for taking up with him."

"You know?! Does EVERYONE know?" I looked around the training grounds and everyone was staring at me, smiling. "Just like the damn Army, no secrets!" Legolas was grinning at me from across the field.

"It isn't as if you could hide it, lass. You practically glow," observed Gimli. "You should know an elf can't hold his tongue when he's pleased with himself, either."

"I'll keep that in mind," I replied.

"Well lass, I suppose it's time for you to work with your sword. I'll see you here first thing in the morning?"

"Yes, I wouldn't miss it, Gimli."

He left me and walked over to the other dwarves.

Glorfindel stepped up to me. "Are you ready to begin, my lady?"

"Certainly, Glorfindel. Please, call me Elaura, I'm not much of a lady when I have a weapon in my hand."

"So I have observed," he replied and I remembered relieving the dummy of his jewels the day before.

He handed me the sword and told me to take a sturdy stance. I did so and he made a few adjustments. Over the next three hours, he taught me the basic moves: thrust, parry and block. He wasn't as insistent as Gimli and I had no reason to curse or even get frustrated.

"You aren't taking it easy on me, are you?" I asked him when we finished.

"Not at all, when the time comes for sparring, you will not be asking that question," he answered with a wry grin and took the sword from me.

I sighed and took a long drink of water. I picked up my bag and training axe. "I've got to get going. I'm expected in the healing rooms after lunch." I watched Legolas for a few moments and a song came to my mind, "The Noose" by A Perfect Circle. I hummed a little of it and thought about the words:

_So glad to see you have overcome them  
Completely silent now  
With heaven's help  
You've cast your demons out  
And not to pull your halo down  
Around your neck and tug you off your cloud  
But I'm more than just a little curious  
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends  
To the dead  
To the dead _

_Recall the deeds as if they're all  
Someone else's  
Atrocious stories  
Now you stand reborn  
Before us all  
So glad to see you well_

I shifted uncomfortably. Glorfindel, who had heard me humming the dark tune, looked at me. "Is there something wrong, Elaura?"

"I was just thinking; I've never actually killed anything before. I mean, I've been trained, but it never came down to it. In fact, killing has always been a matter of duty. I swore an oath in my country to obey orders and that was an order we all expected to get someday, but fighting for my life and the lives of people I've grown to love . . . hell, Glorfindel, I can't even say I've ever loved anyone before. Now I'm in a place and time in my life that I can surely expect to, if not be in a battle, be in the middle of its aftermath. The cause is worthy beyond doubt and the people are close to me. This is a fantasy world to me, and yet it is more real than anything I've ever faced."

He turned to face me and I continued to watch Legolas over his shoulder. "Elaura, killing is never something to be taken lightly. Am I to take from your words that your people do not fight on their own lands? For their own people?"

"Yes. My people are not familiar with war. We send our warriors all over the world to defend the weak and honor treaties, but we do not take lands as our own. Some come home and some do not. There is no enemy common to all people in my world, only differing points of view."

"Is it not the same here? The _perian_, Legolas, the dwarf, they have left their own lands to fight among strangers. They will meet not only creatures of the Enemy, but men who have been beguiled by Him."

"The threat on their homes is imminent, though. My people have not been sundered by war in our own lands for generations. We have been attacked, but we always took the battle back to the other guy." I continued, "My people are used to flash and bang and 'shock and awe'. We use weapons that can be fired from great distances and we cheer when they hit their mark. I was barely given any instruction in hand-to-hand combat. Will I be ready to be covered in the blood of my enemy?"

"No one is ready for that _mellon nín,_ it may happen, it may not. You may find yourself with the blood of your enemies as well as that of your friends mingled on your clothes. Those who live will sing lament for the dead and be praised by the living. Merry days and love will be found in between. Such things must be won by those who have the will."

I looked in his eyes and smiled. "Forgive me, Glorfindel. I guess I'm just letting my fears get the best of me. Thank you for training me . . ." I turned to walk away and he caught my elbow.

"We are all afraid; it is nothing to be ashamed of. If you did not take battle and killing seriously I would not train you. One must know the value of life to be able to take it for a just cause, otherwise no cause is just."

"Thank you," I whispered and looked up at Legolas one more time. He was walking toward us with his bow slung over his shoulder. He was grinning, but when our eyes met his smile faded and was replaced by an expression of tenderness. He greeted Glorfindel with reverence and Glorfindel took his leave with a nod.

"There is something wrong, _meleth_?" Legolas asked me, but it wasn't really a question.

"Walk with me back to the house?" I replied, it wasn't really a question either.

He nodded and we walked slowly away from the grounds, through the forest away from the path. He spoke quietly, "I watched you this morning. You are a fierce warrior. I had no idea."

"Thank you. Most people wouldn't think I had it in me."

"Then they are not looking."

"Even you didn't see, you just said so."

"It is easy to see what someone wishes them to see; it is more difficult to see what people try hard to conceal."

I wanted to deny it, but I couldn't. I was hiding too much.

He read my mind again, "I do not refer to that which Mithrandir has told me you can not reveal. I refer to your anger, your hate. The part of your strength which you must draw upon when compassion and diplomacy have been exhausted."

"But you've seen my anger as well as my fear. They're petty and I don't hide them well."

"All beings express irritation, you may not see it in the Eldar, but it is there. I could see in your irritation that you had an inner fire, but when that fire is fed with your determination, it bursts forth brighter than I could have imagined. Many have a dark side, but not all can focus and control it."

"You've pegged it. I DO have a dark side and it gets the better of me sometimes."

"It is a difficult transition, _meleth nín,_ not so simple as taking off these clothes and putting on healer's dress. I often feel my bow in my hands when it is not there."

"How do you come down from it? How do you reset your mind from killing to saving, from hate to love?"

"I listen to the world and sing its song."

"I don't hear what you hear, Legolas. I am not an elf."

He stopped us then, "What do you hear now?"

I closed my eyes and listened; the breeze was rustling the leaves in the treetops, there were birds singing and somewhere nearby a very small creature was scrabbling through the leaf litter. I heard voices in the distance and even the faint rushing of the Bruinen. Legolas stepped in front of me soundlessly and took my hands and I heard the cacophony change into melody and harmony. The scratching of the creature's claws against the dry leaves took up the rhythm of the song. As I stood there I felt surrounded by beauty and peace.

Slowly, gently Legolas' voice caressed my mind:

_Fair tree! for thy delightful shade  
'Tis just that some return be made;  
Sure some return is due from me  
To thy cool shadows, and to thee.  
When thou to birds dost shelter give,  
Thou music dost from them receive;  
If travellers beneath thee stay  
Till storms have worn themselves away,  
That time in praising thee they spend  
And thy protecting pow'r commend.  
The shepherd here, from scorching freed,  
Tunes to thy dancing leaves his reed;  
Whilst his lov'd nymph, in thanks, bestows  
Her flow'ry chaplets on thy boughs.  
_

_Shall I then only silent be,  
And no return be made by me?  
No; let this wish upon thee wait,  
And still to flourish be thy fate.  
To future ages may'st thou stand  
Untouch'd by the rash workman's hand,  
Till that large stock of sap is spent,  
Which gives thy summer's ornament;  
Till the fierce winds, that vainly strive  
To shock thy greatness whilst alive,  
Shall on thy lifeless hour attend,  
Prevent the axe, and grace thy end;  
Their scatter'd strength together call  
And to the clouds proclaim thy fall;  
Who then their ev'ning dews may spare  
When thou no longer art their care,  
But shalt, like ancient heroes, burn,  
And some bright hearth be made thy urn. ŧ_

I dreamt of a tall, broad tree with many far-reaching branches leafing out in spring. Birds and squirrels made their homes there. I saw the tree come into bloom in summer and watched as a man and a woman sheltered under it in the rain. I saw its leaves change with the coming of autumn and witnessed its naked branches bending with the cold winter winds. Many years passed and although trees around it were hewn, the tall tree stood until finally its years were spent and its leaves did not come in the spring. It finally fell and an old man came and gathered up its broken boughs. I could feel the warm glow of his fireplace as he burned its wood.

I opened my eyes. I was in the healing rooms, but I was seeing this one from an angle I hadn't seen it from before. I was flat on my back, looking at the ceiling. I was startled to say the least. I made to sit up and felt warm hands holding my shoulders, it was Legolas, he had a very relieved expression on his face.

"Be still, Elaura. You are safe," he said gently.

"What the hell? What happened? How did I get here? We were in the forest, you were singing about the tree . . ."

"I carried you here, _meleth nín_. You fainted."

I would've sat bolt upright if he hadn't had his hands on my shoulders, "I what?! I've never fainted in my life!"

"I would not lie to you."

I relaxed, the effort had made me dizzy and I didn't like the idea that Legolas thought I was accusing him of lying. "I'm sorry Legolas, it's just . . . I'm confused. How long have I been here? How long have I been out?"

"The sun is setting. You have been unconscious for several hours."

I closed my eyes and let it sink in. I wiggled my toes, no boots. I flexed my legs, no pants. _HEY!_ I raised the blanket that was draped over me, I was wearing the nightgown that I had hung up in my closet that morning. "Um, Legolas? Who undressed me?" I blushed. _Weird. Plenty of guys have seen me naked, why should I care if he has?_

He laughed, "It was not me. A healer went to your room to get that gown and she changed your clothing while I waited in the hall."

I sighed, relieved. "How long do I have to stay here? I have a lesson with Lord Erestor this evening."

"If Lord Erestor wishes to have your lesson he will have to come to you. Lord Elrond has instructed me not to allow you to get out of this bed until he returns."

"I suppose you are enjoying this, now that you can see I'm not dying."

"It is partial repayment for distracting me on the training grounds, yes."

"Partial? I think imprisoning me in this bed is payment enough."

"Do you think so? I have not missed a shot in two hundred years. Because of you, I must start the count again."

"You should listen to your own teaching. How can you tell someone else not to be distracted when you allow yourself to be?"

"I was not prepared for such a distraction."

"That's the nature of a distraction, Legolas. Something you aren't prepared for. You have to admit, though your ears are obviously sensitive and it's not really likely that they would be tickled in battle, maybe you should work on your concentration?"

He raised an eyebrow at me and sighed, "I will not win this argument will I?"

"Nope," I replied and grinned.

Elrond entered the room then with Gandalf behind him. Legolas was on my left, next to the window and Elrond came up to the right. Gandalf was near the foot of the bed and seemed to be looking at something on the floor.

"You are awake," Elrond said. _Thank you Captain Obvious._

"What's up, doc? Am I dying?" I couldn't help myself, I felt giddy.

Elrond smiled, "You are pale and your eyes are slightly unfocussed. When was the last time you ate?"

"I packed a breakfast," I replied.

Gandalf, who was bending over, stood with a bundle in his hand, "And here it is, still wrapped up neatly."

"OK, the last thing I ate was dinner last night, before I came to your study my lord, but I was on my way to lunch when I fainted."

Eyebrows of doom, "I recommend you stay in bed for another day, my lady."

"No my lord, please. I promise I'll eat before my training session in the morning."

"Elaura, listen to Lord Elrond, you pushed yourself too hard this morning," Legolas pleaded.

"I only have a month to learn how to defend myself. I can't afford to spend a single day in bed!"

Legolas looked at me sternly; the pleading tone was replaced with something I hadn't heard since the first time we met: irritation. "You will have my own warriors to protect you. You will not need to defend yourself."

"I don't doubt the skill of your warriors, Legolas, but a great lady once said, or rather will say, 'Those without swords can still die upon them.' I won't be defenseless ever again."

"Elaura, Edain are fragile. . ." Gandalf visibly winced when Legolas said "fragile" and I felt my face get hot.

I did my best to control my temper, "Legolas, I know what you mean by 'fragile' and I really appreciate the fact that you didn't elaborate by saying 'Edain WOMEN are fragile', but if you ever call me 'fragile' again I will rip out your throat with my bare hands!"

He stood his ground and spoke evenly, "I grant that you will need to continue your training, but I will NOT lose this argument. You WILL stay in this bed until Lord Elrond says otherwise if I have to hold you down myself. There is nothing that I want more than for you to walk out of this room, but not if it means you will have to be carried back in again tomorrow."

I heard the sincerity in his voice and relented, "All right _meleth,_ you win. I'll be a good girl, I promise," I smiled and realized there wasn't nearly as much sarcasm in that as I thought there would be, in fact, there was none at all. _What the hell is happening to me?_

Everyone in the room relaxed at the word _'meleth'._ I addressed Elrond, "My lord, may I at least go to the . . . um . . . "_Shoot, I still haven't learned the Elvish word for 'toilet'!_ ". . . bath, by myself?"

"Yes my lady, as long as there is someone close enough to hear if you feel faint again," Elrond replied with a smile that told me he knew what I was talking about. "I will have food 

brought to you," he continued, "Please stay in the bed unless you absolutely must get up. Prince Legolas, should I send in a healer to sit with the lady?"

"No my lord, I will stay," Legolas replied and bowed.

Gandalf smiled and winked at Legolas and a slight pink tinge blushed over the tips of his ears. "You will make sure she doesn't sneak off, my boy?"

"I will, Mithrandir," Legolas replied and bowed again.

"Goodnight, my lady," said Elrond and he walked out the door.

Gandalf chuckled softly and inclined his head and left. I wiggled my fingers at their backs, "Goodnight, my lord. Goodnight Mithrandir." I figured they heard me even though they were already gone.

_Well, at least I have another day to figure out how to explain "fucked-up" to Erestor._

Legolas sat on the windowsill and looked up at the sky. The stars were just twinkling into view. "After I eat, I would like to take a shower, Legolas. I feel gross."

"I am sure that 'gross' is not a good thing. Would you not prefer a bath? It would be better if you stayed off your feet."

"Yes, I suppose you're right. I wouldn't want to faint again and have you carry me back here naked." The pink tinge returned to his ears. _Hey, this could be fun!_

Just as I was about to experiment with Legolas' modesty, an elf came in with a tray of food. It smelled wonderful and there was more than enough for both of us. _"Hannon le,"_ Legolas said to him and accepted the tray. The elf smiled and bowed then turned and left.

Legolas set the tray on my lap and helped me sit up. I felt another wave of dizziness wash over me and went limp.

"Elaura?" I heard the worry in his voice.

"I'm ok, just a little dizzy. I'll be fine after I eat." I picked up a piece of sliced apple and chewed it slowly. Legolas was staring at me. "Please, eat something. You missed lunch too, didn't you?"

"Yes," he replied and took a small sandwich from the tray.

"I'm sorry I scared you. Your song was lovely, I was still dreaming about it when I woke up."

"My mother taught that song to me, she would sing it while we walked through the forest."

"I heard the song of the forest, too. The wind in the trees, the birds and the animals. Your voice blended with it in my mind. It was very peaceful. I always feel at peace when you are with me, Legolas. Will you stay with me tonight? I hate sick rooms."

"Yes, I will stay. You choose a strange occupation if you dislike sickrooms, _meleth nín._"

"It's different when one is the patient." I picked up a sandwich and bit into it, the sweet tangy flavor of tomato filled my mouth. Juice ran into my hand and it burned like a sonofabitch. I remembered the cuts on my fingers from the axe. I picked up my napkin and wiped my hands, my right one continued to burn. I looked at it and stared.

Legolas saw me staring at my hand and spoke, "What is it, Elaura? What is wrong?"

"My hand, Legolas. Where I cut myself today on the axe, it's turning green."

He took my hand and looked at it and said one word: "Spiders . . .," and bolted out the door.

Very soon he returned with Elrond and Gandalf. Elrond took my hand and looked first at Gandalf and then at Legolas; he looked puzzled, "There are no spiders in Rivendell."

"Where did that axe come from, my dear?" asked Gandalf in a calm, matter-of-fact tone.

"Lord Elrond's weapons barn. Gimli picked it out when Lindir took us there after I taught the class on CPR. What's going on? What's this about spiders and why is my hand turning green? Geez, it burns!" I said and started shaking it as if that would make it stop.

"It is alright, Elaura," Legolas began, "Spider venom is not lethal . . ."

"But? I can hear a 'but' in there! Out with it!"

"However, it has been known to fester to the point of amputation if not treated quickly and properly," he finished.

"Great, just call me Captain Hook. What IS the proper treatment and how much time does 'righty' have?" Legolas looked at Elrond desperately but did not answer me."

Gandalf spoke, "We will have to seek out the remedy. As Elrond has said, there are no spiders in Rivendell; his healers have no experience with spider venom. Legolas must consult with the other elves from Mirkwood, the remedy may yet be found in time."

"What exactly is 'in time' and how exactly did spider venom get on my axe?"

Elrond answered me gravely, "I do not know how long, it depends on your health and keeping your hand as still as possible. We can begin treatment at any time, but we can not allow the infection to spread. I intend to find the answer to your second question personally, my lady."

A healer entered the room then and Elrond spoke quickly to him in Elvish, so fast in fact that I didn't catch any of it. Legolas looked at me and I tried to stay calm. "I will return as quickly as I can. _Avo 'osto, meleth nín_ S. Fear not, my love." He bent over and kissed me.

"Go, I'll be fine. What's a hand anyway? I've got two," I giggled and smiled, trying to reassure him.

The healer had busied himself with washing my hand and laid it in a basin with clean, warm, _Athelas_ water. Elrond had removed his robe and rolled up his sleeves. Gandalf stepped to my left where Legolas had been and all the glowy crackling magic that happened with Frodo began again.

"Hey, I'm not asleep here. Would someone tell me what you are about to do?" Elrond picked up a knife, "Hey now. I haven't been anesthetized yet!"

"I am about to open the wounds and allow as much of the poison to bleed out as possible. I am sorry, but I can not administer anything to numb the pain, it would also slow the flow of blood."

"I had a feeling I wasn't going to like this. Could I have something to bite down on at least?"

Gandalf put a leather wrapped stick in my left hand and as I was putting it in my mouth I looked up and was staring at Aragorn. _When the hell did he get here?_

"I met Legolas in the hall; he explained to me what has happened. Try to stay calm, _mellon nín,_ the faster your heart beats, the faster the poison will travel through your system."

I took the stick out of my mouth, "That's gonna be pretty tough considering what Lord Elrond has in mind." I put the stick back in my mouth.

"Just look at my eyes. Try to focus on nothing but me, Elaura."

I locked eyes with Aragorn and bit down on the stick. Elrond began to cut. I screamed into the stick and bit down as hard as I could. Aragorn was murmuring in a low voice and I tried to stay focused on him. Elrond made another cut and I screamed again. I felt the warm blood fill my hand and run down the sides of my fingers.

"Once more and I will stop, Little One," Elrond said in a fatherly tone. "You are doing well."

I felt the last cut and nearly blacked out in the middle of my scream. This cut was much deeper than the other two and my head began to swim when the foul stench of rotting flesh reached my nostrils. As the pain began to recede a little I realized I'd been squeezing the hell out of Aragorn's hand which was holding my left hand to the bed; his right palm was against the side of my head.

The healer was massaging my arm towards the hand, stimulating the blood flow in that direction.

Elrond looked up and turned toward me; he had placed his body between me and my hand during the operation. "The infection is deep my child, and it is spreading fast. I am afraid you have already lost two fingers, but I will wait to amputate them until after treatment."

I spit the stick out onto my chest, still gripping Aragorn's hand tightly through the pain. "I guess I'll never play the clarinet again," I laughed weakly. The four looked puzzled. "It's a reed instrument you probably don't have here anyway. It was a joke, gentle people." They all smiled and Gandalf chuckled. "Gee whiz guys, I'm the one who's losing body parts, lighten up."

When the blood had been flowing for about ten minutes or so, the healer began applying a very tight bandage, beginning at just below my elbow and wrapping towards my hand. He wrapped each finger separately then placed my hand into a clean basin of _Athelas._

I released Aragorn's hand and he flexed his fingers a few times, grinning, "You have quite a grip, my lady."

Gandalf picked up the stick from my chest, examining the deep bite marks in the leather, "And a strong bite as well."

"My lady mother always told me to chew my food." I took a long, deep breath. "Now, about that pain medication?" My whole arm was beginning to throb.

"Of course, I will have a tea made for you immediately. I am impressed, I expected you to lose consciousness, Little One," Elrond said with a smile.

"What? And miss out on holding hands with the future king of Gondor? Are you nuts, my lord?"

"You had better not let Arwen or Legolas hear you say that, my lady," Gandalf grinned through his beard.

"I'd just tell them I was delirious from the pain, Mithrandir."

The tea arrived and Aragorn helped me sit up enough to drink it and then lowered me back down gently. I yammered on a few moments longer and lost consciousness.

**ŧ The Tree by Anne Finch **


	21. The game's afoot or rather, a hand

The game's afoot; or rather, a hand by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**I'm having a CSI moment! **

I came around slowly. I opened my eyes and groggily tried to focus on the ceiling. It looked cloudy. I lolled my head toward the window. I could see the sunlight glowing orange and red through the pale yellow halo of the top of Legolas' head. He was seated, resting his cheek on my left hand which he was also holding. I could not see his eyes.

My whole right arm was throbbing and felt hot. I lolled my head to look at it and found a cloth drape blocking it from view. I tried to lift my hand, but it was strapped down. My throat felt dry.

"Legolas," I whispered and he raised his head to look at me.

"You are awake! Thank the Valar!" he exclaimed and kissed my hand.

Up from the chairs by the fireplace stood Elrond, Gandalf, Aragorn and Gimli. _Gimli?! What's he doing here? Oh, it's dawn and I didn't show up at the training ground._ Glorfindel stood in the doorway.

"Sorry I missed you this morning, Gimli, Glorfindel. I should have sent someone to tell you I wouldn't be there."

"Not to worry lassie. We were informed last night. There's quite a fuss over that axe of yours."

"I should say so. Wait till I get my hands on the jackass . . ." I trailed off. "Or maybe I should say hand?" I looked around the room for someone with something to say. They all looked at Legolas, _Fuck! Not good!_

Legolas held my hand firmly, "Elaura, you still have both your hands. I was able to find some antidote for the venom among the herbs my people brought with them from Mirkwood . . ."

"Dammit! I can hear the 'but' in your voice again. Spit it out. _Estelio nín, meleth_ S. Trust me, love, I was ready to wake up to find I had no right hand at all. Just tell me, I'll be ok."

"I'm sorry, Elaura. Lord Elrond had to remove two of your fingers and half of a third. It could not be helped."

"Well thank God he operated while I was asleep! I would've bitten right through that stick." I grinned. "No wonder the sucker hurts! The infection was stopped then?"

Elrond spoke, "Yes. It was stopped."

"Anybody know where the damned venom came from?" I asked with a raspy voice.

Simultaneously, Legolas helped me into a bit more of a sitting position and Aragorn stepped forward and poured me a cup of tea, handing the cup and saucer to Legolas to hold for me. I picked up the cup shakily with my left hand and took a sip. _Yummy, tastes like chai._

Gandalf answered me; I detected a note of anger in his voice, "No. I have confirmed the venom is of the spiders of Mirkwood, but there is no history of that axe having ever been out of Rivendell. The venom could have been on the blade for years and kept its potency, even so, the venom would not have gotten on the blade simply by killing a spider with it. It had to have been put there intentionally."

"Is there any way to determine how long the venom has been on the blade? When was the last time it was sharpened?" I asked.

Elrond looked at Glorfindel and he stepped into the room. "The weapons are sharpened regularly, my Lord. That axe should have been sharpened shortly after I left to patrol the Greenway. Probably the same day I found Elaura at the bridge."

The amateur criminologist in me was thrilled at the chance to solve a mystery, "Mithrandir, could the venom have withstood the sharpening of the blade?"

"No my dear, good thinking. You have narrowed the time frame somewhat," he replied raising his eyebrows.

"Who has access to the barn? I noticed you and Lindir had to open it with a key, Glorfindel."

"Only a few, the captains of the guard, myself, Lindir, Lord Elrond and Lord Erestor. The doors are never left unlocked when one of us is not present," he replied.

I sighed, "I have no question in my mind that none of the lords or captains of _Imladris_ would have tampered with it. If it happened after I took the axe to my room, anyone could have done it. My window is easily accessible and I do not lock my door. But then that leads me in a nasty direction."

Legolas spoke incredulously, "Someone may have targeted you specifically, Elaura? Why?"

I rubbed my eyes with my left hand, Gimli's face was getting red and he was growling. Legolas had an expression of grief mixed with shock and a fiery glow in his eyes. Gandalf was thoughtfully chewing on the stem of his unlit pipe and Elrond and Glorfindel were exchanging very quiet words.

Aragorn spoke up, "There may be many reasons why someone would want to do Elaura harm. She is a stranger; she has knowledge and skills of another land as well as this one. Some believe she has magic. There is also the possibility of jealousy; someone wanting to show Legolas how fragile Edain are."

Legolas stiffened and looked at me, whether he was getting angry on my behalf or expecting me to be upset over the use of the word 'fragile' I couldn't tell.

"Or," I was trying to knock the cobwebs out of my brain, "Consider the method. The perpetrator had to know that the venom would be discovered. Maybe they even knew Legolas 

would recognize it before any major damage was done, not wanting to kill or maim too badly. Perhaps he or she wants us to believe someone in the party from Mirkwood was involved. Has anyone expressed undue interest in my wellbeing or the investigation? Was anyone particularly helpful in finding the antidote?"

Before anyone could answer, my right hand twitched involuntarily, causing a particularly harsh pain and I hissed loudly. Legolas held my left hand and I squeezed it hard until the pain passed. "Well that just jumbled my thoughts. Sorry."

Elrond concluded his hushed conversation with Glorfindel and looked at me. "Until we have discovered who is behind this, I do not wish for you to be alone, my lady. As we all have duties to which we must attend, I suggest we stay with you in shifts. Arwen and Erestor will be the only members of the household other than ourselves who shall be permitted to be alone with you."

"All right. I'll agree to that. Gimli, I need you to do something for me."

"Anything lassie," he replied. There was an undercurrent of guilt in his angry voice.

"I want you to make a soft but sturdy ball that will fit in my right hand. Also, something that I can use to increase the strength in my left arm and the dexterity in my left hand. I want to get back to training as soon as I can get out of this bed."

"Elaura, the poison is still in your system," Legolas objected.

"I know, _meleth nín._ I won't push too hard, I'll do everything Lord Elrond advises. I just don't want to wait until my right hand is completely healed. I don't want to be another burden in the war. I guess if it'll suck if I cannot even lift a cup on my own. It will NOT be okay if I can't use my other hand for anything."

Gimli patiently waited for me to finish my rant, and then turned to Legolas for what looked like permission. I should have been offended, but I wasn't. "Yes, Master Dwarf," Legolas acquiesced.

"It shall be done, lass," Gimli responded enthusiastically. "I will see to it at once," he said and unceremoniously departed.

I leveled my gaze and spoke firmly when I was sure he was out of earshot. "I know some of you may be thinking Gimli could have had something to do with this. He has no fondness for elves, I'll admit. However, if any of your fathers had been imprisoned in the dungeons of the Lonely Mountain I'm sure you would feel the same toward him. He is not now, nor will he EVER be a suspect, understood?" I looked at each person in turn daring them to challenge me and each nodded silently.

"Now, is there any way I can get some food and a bath? The smell of rotting flesh is dissipating and the smell of filthy human flesh is becoming overpowering," I grimaced as I tried to sit up a little more _Why does my chest hurt?_

"I will send for some food, but the bath will have to wait, my lady," answered Elrond.

I gave him a pleading look.

"I will send in Arwen and a female healer to help you wash, but you are not to get out of that bed."

"Yes, my lord. Thank you very much," I said gratefully.

"My lord," Legolas stood and addressed Elrond, "I will stay until Lady Arwen arrives.

Elrond smiled and bowed. "I will be back later." He turned and left the room.

Gandalf and Aragorn sat down and spoke quietly, Glorfindel approached the bed. "I will be ready to resume your training as soon as Lord Elrond releases you. _Á tulta tuolya, á lorë vandë_ Q. Summon forth your strength, sleep well."

"Thank you, Glorfindel," I replied, trying to memorize his words for translating later.

He and Legolas exchanged a farewell bow and as he left, Legolas sat back in his chair.

I yawned. "What time is it?" I asked sleepily.

"It is sunset," Legolas answered.

"Sunset! I thought it was morning. I slept for twenty four hours?"

Legolas grinned, "Yes _meleth_ why did you think I was so worried? You lost a lot of blood when Lord Elrond removed your fingers. I feared your fëa would depart."

"No wonder I feel weak. Was I really that sick?"

Gandalf and Aragorn stood and came over to the bed, "Yes," replied Gandalf grimly. "There was a moment when we thought we had lost you, my dear,"

I was amazed, "Over a couple of fingers? I figured Lord Elrond would just tie 'em off and chop. Why was it so delicate?"

"The bones in your two middle fingers were infected and had to be removed up the wrist, Elaura. Your little finger had to be removed at the second joint," Aragorn answered."

I glanced at Legolas, his face was contorted with grief and tears were in his eyes. "Oh for heaven's sake. They're just fingers, Legolas. I'm fine." I reached out to him and he took my hand in both of his. "Legolas, you must be stronger than this. I can never let you live through my death if you are going to mourn so much over a couple of fingers. I have seven and a half left."

He smiled despite himself.

"That's better. Now where the heck is my dinner?"

"A good appetite. That is a step in the right direction," said Gandalf cheerfully.

"And you, Aragorn. Stop looking so grim. If you promise to cheer up I'll let you stay until Arwen gets here," I winked at Gandalf.

Aragorn blushed.

"You're a little too old to be shy, Aragorn," I teased.

Gandalf chuckled and Aragorn looked at Legolas with a pleading look, Legolas just grinned and shook his head slowly.

My hand twitched again and I took in a sharp breath, "Ow, fuck that hurts! What does it look like? Can I see it?"

Aragorn answered, "No, my lady. It is not bandaged and has been left open in places to drain."

"Not very sanitary if you ask me," I replied.

"That drape goes all the way around and your hand is soaking in an antiseptic bath to prevent further infection."

I tried to sit up again and was reminded quickly of the pain in my chest. "Hey, can anyone explain to me why my chest feels like somebody hit me with a battering ram?"

Aragorn and Gandalf looked at Legolas again _Damn! I hate it when they leave all the bad news to him._

"_Meleth,_ during the operation you stopped breathing and your heart stopped beating. One of the healers you taught performed C-P-R," he said it slowly, like he wasn't sure of the letters.

"No kidding?" I marveled, "Karma is my friend! Shit, Legolas, no wonder you were scared. I would have been out of my mind watching someone do that to you. Wait a minute, were you watching?"

"Yes. You asked me to stay with you and I said I would. I left you only long enough to find the antidote."

I made a mental note to be very careful what I asked of Legolas. I looked toward the door and Arwen and a female healer were entering.

"Good evening, my lady," I said and smiled.

"_Mae aduial_ S. Good evening, Elaura. _Man mathach?_ S. How do you feel?"

"I feel pretty good, considering. I'll feel better when I'm clean." I watched as she prepared the water and cloths herself as the healer looked on. Aragorn assisted her and they exchanged loving glances but no words.

Legolas stood and walked around the bed and whispered something in Arwen's ear. She nodded and smiled at him. Gandalf walked towards the door and turned to Legolas. "Come, dear boy. I need to ask you a few questions." They stepped out into the hall together.

Aragorn kissed Arwen on the cheek when they finished and he left without a word.

"Well, now that all the males are gone, let's get this over with," I said cheerfully and pulled the blanket down with my left hand. My gown had to be cut in half from the right side of the collar all the way down in order to get it off and the healer was sent for another one while Arwen gently helped me wash. She sang a sweet tune in Quenya as she worked and I decided to listen instead of talk.

My chest was bruised in the middle just over the sternum and I checked it gingerly. I felt no breaks and was impressed. _I guess I'm a pretty good teacher after all._ My gold cross was right where I'd left it and over all I was in pretty good shape. I noticed that I'd lost some weight and gained some muscle here and there.

I was embarrassed a little when Arwen washed my hairy legs. Elves had no noticeable body hair, but she didn't seem to care one way or the other so I relaxed. I suppose a hairless Edan would have been stranger to her. I took the cloth from her and washed all the important parts before the healer returned. They dried me and wrapped me in another gown that was already split up the side, my right arm was left bare and then covered with a cloth.

They were packing up to leave and I realized they hadn't done anything with my hair. "Hey, aren't you going to wash my hair? My scalp itches like crazy."

Arwen just smiled a brilliant smile and they left the room.

"Damn! She could've at least brushed it. Wait a second; I'm not supposed to be alone." Just as I was about to call for someone, Legolas opened the door and stepped in.

He picked up a basin and pitcher and walked around to the head of the bed. "I asked Arwen if she would let me wash your hair, _meleth._ Do you mind?" he asked.

"Of course not, sounds like a lovely idea. I wondered what you whispered to her."

He carefully washed and dried my hair, singing softly. It felt wonderful. Then he braided it and set the pitcher and basin by the door.

He sat down in the chair next to the bed and there was a light knock on the door. "Come in," I called.

In walked four hobbits. Pippin and Merry walked to the right side of the bed and Frodo and Sam stood at the foot.

"Hi guys!" I said cheerfully. Legolas nodded at them.

"Good evening," they said in various ways. Pippin peeked under the drape and his eyes went wide. He turned an unattractive shade of green as Merry slapped his hand away. I giggled.

"Curiosity killed the cat, Master Peregrin," I said with mock sternness. Just then, Macavity hopped up on the windowsill and jumped into Legolas' lap.

"Speaking of cats," I said and smiled as Macavity swished his tail under Legolas' nose and Legolas twitched it like a rabbit.

"How are you feelin' milady?" asked Sam.

"I feel great now that I'm clean, Sam. Thanks. To what do I owe the honor of your company, my fine hobbits?"

Frodo spoke shyly, "Sam tells me you took very good care of me while I was ill, my lady. I haven't thanked you yet and I wanted to know if there was anything I could do to return the favor?"

"No need to thank me, Frodo. It was truly an honor to aid in your treatment." He blushed. "There is something you guys could do for me, though."

"Yes?" he asked.

"I'm starving! Could you find out what is taking my dinner so long?"

Frodo smiled a shy smile and replied, "Yes, we can do that."

"I'll fix you up something myself, milady!" said Sam.

"Thanks!" I said and they bustled out the door. Merry and Pippin, who still looked a little pale, were muttering back and forth.

I sighed deeply and watched dreamily as Legolas petted Macavity.

"Are you feeling sleepy, _meleth nín_?" Legolas asked.

"Getting there, my sweet. I just want to stay awake long enough to eat. What was it Mithrandir wanted to talk to you about?"

He took a deep breath, "Mithrandir inquired if I knew of any of my people who are not pleased with my love for you. I know of none. He also asked if I have any enemies who might try to do me harm through you."

I could read the guilt in his eyes. "Legolas, regardless of motive, the responsibility for this lies solely on the perpetrator; the evil in his or her heart. You have done nothing to feel guilty about. Had I lost my entire arm or even my life I would not hold you responsible for it. Besides, it is just as likely I have made an enemy all by myself."

"I do not see how. You have been nothing but kind and compassionate. I have not heard anything said against you."

"If I recall correctly you didn't trust me yourself at first, my dear."

"I was wrong. But I would not have done harm to you even so."

"Not everyone thinks as you do, Legolas. Some people allow their fears to fester until they feel they have no choice but to eliminate the threat."

We sat in silence for a while, considering the gravity of the situation.

"You do not feel safe in Rivendell any longer, do you _meleth nín_?" Legolas asked after the long silence.

"Any one who feels safe in these troubled times is fooling themselves, Legolas."

The door opened and in walked Sam carrying a tray. Behind him was Erestor and then the other three hobbits looking very pleased with themselves.

"I found these four in the kitchen," Erestor said and smiled. "They told me you had sent them on a very important quest."

"I certainly did, and it appears they have accomplished their mission with great success." The tray was overflowing with bread and sweet cakes. Buried somewhere underneath it all I could smell stew.

Sam waited for Legolas to prop me up into a sitting position and I gritted my teeth through the pain in my chest and the stretching of my arm which was still strapped down. "Could you loosen that strap a little, my Lord?"

Erestor reached under the drape and loosened the strap, but just a tiny bit.

"Thank you, my Lord." I spread my napkin and began to unload the bread and cakes to get to the stew. You may all help yourselves, there is enough here to feed an army."

"Naw, Merry could eat all that himself," said Pippin and Merry pushed him grinning. "You know it's true, Merry!"

Legolas was surreptitiously eyeing one of the sweet cakes so I picked it up and handed it to him. "Eat, silly. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't mean it."

"My lady. I see that you will not be able to attend to your translations for a while. May I continue your lessons here?" Erestor inquired.

"I would like that very much my lord. I will try to learn how to write with my left hand as well. I'm not sure how well my right one will ever work. I can't even move it right now."

"I see you are getting weary, my lady. I will return tomorrow and we will resume your lessons. You still owe me an explanation," he grinned as he saw that I remembered my promise to explain "fucked-up" and "neurotic" to him. _Drat!_

"_Le cenithon ned lû thent, hîr nín,_ S. I will see you in a short time, my lord, I said trying to show his lessons weren't forgotten.

"Mae pennen, híril nín. Losto mae, S. Well said, my lady. Sleep well, he replied and left.

I had eaten my fill and there was still a lot of food left on the tray. I yawned and stretched as much as my aching body would let me. "Sam that was wonderful, thank you. Would you dear hobbits like to finish what I couldn't eat?"

Pippin jumped up from the arm of the chair he was sitting on and came to the side of the bed. "Thanks, Elaura! We ate dinner almost two whole hours ago and I was feeling a mite peckish."

I gathered up the cakes and bread and pushed the tray towards him. He reached up and carefully brought it down and turned towards the others. Even Frodo took something, though less eagerly than the others.

"The mushrooms in the stew were perfect, Sam," I said as I swallowed the last bite of bread I had soaked in the gravy.

"Thanks, milady. That's me old gaffer's recipe."

"Well, if you fellows don't mind, I'm going to drink some tea and go to sleep."

"We'll see you tomorrow, then my lady," answered Frodo and herded the hobbits out the door with the tray.

"Goodnight," I called after them.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Elaura?" Legolas asked.

"Would you mind lighting the fire? I'm feeling a little chilly."

He put Macavity on the foot of the bed and bent over to tuck the blanket under my chin. He kissed my forehead and went to light the fire.

Suddenly, Macavity jumped to the windowsill staring into the night and hissing.

Legolas was at the sill in two steps, gazing out into the dark, listening intently.

"What was it?" I whispered.

"I saw only a shape in a black cloak running soundlessly into the trees."

"An elf. . ." I pondered.

"Most likely." Legolas turned from the sill, his brows were furrowed.

"I've never seen Macavity hiss at anyone before. He seems quite oblivious to most people, regardless of race."

"Cats can sense the intentions of others, even those they consider friends."

"Yes, I had a cat once who loved me to death until I wanted to give him a bath, then he'd run like hell. He just knew."

"Exactly."

Legolas went to the door and opened it speaking with someone in the hall.

When he'd finished and come back in I asked, "Is there a guard outside my door?"

"Yes, Lord Glorfindel thought it would be a good idea."

"Up 'til now I would have said that was silly, but now I'm not so sure."

Macavity stayed on the windowsill and Legolas took his seat next to the bed. When I finally couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, I fell asleep. I had nightmares of dark shapes chasing me.


	22. Elementary, meldanya Carnesîr

Elementary, meldanya Carnesîr (my dear Watson) by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

****

Just a reminder, I claim ownership of none of J.R.R. Tolkien's original plot or characters; however, Elaura and her story Typically Atypical are Copyrighted 2006.

I awoke the next day with bright sunshine in my face. I couldn't tell whether it was morning or afternoon, but at least I knew it wasn't dawn or dusk. The chair Legolas had been in the night before was now occupied by Gandalf.

"Hello, Gandalf!" I said as I wiped the sleep out of my eyes.

"Good morning my dear," he replied. "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept soundly enough, but I had terrible nightmares."

"Between the poison in your body and the shadow Legolas saw, that is understandable."

"Where is Legolas?"

"He has gone to speak with his people. He must be smitten with you; he hasn't spent more than a few minutes out of this room since you fainted."

"I've been in love with him for years, Gandalf. I simply can't see what he sees in me though."

"There is no doubt he has been in love with you for centuries, dear girl. Every male has an image of their ideal mate in their heart; they simply must wait until she arrives."

"I'm fairly certain Legolas wasn't expecting 'Ms. Right' to be a mortal, Gandalf."

"Perhaps he wasn't that specific. Is it not enough that you are kind, compassionate, intelligent and fierce? I have no doubt he would not trade even one of those characteristics for a woman with pointed ears."

"It's a good thing he didn't ask for ten fingers and ten toes," I grinned and he chuckled. "Hey, I was thinking, who carries spider venom around? After all, it couldn't have been planned . . . nobody knew I would be here. I mean, nobody from Mirkwood knew I was here until they got here. It seems like an odd thing to carry around for no reason."

"I had considered that myself. It is possible that there was another intended victim and you were a trial run, or perhaps the villain decided you were a better target than the one he'd planned."

"But if I weren't the intended victim, whoever it is certainly tipped his hand early. I'm sure more of the antidote is being located as we speak if it hasn't already."

"It has. The herbs are being stored here now and the healers have been instructed how to prepare and use it."

"Curiouser and curiouser."

"Indeed. Your weapons have all been taken to be cleaned and sharpened. None but the axe had any sign of poison. They will be locked away until you are ready to retrieve them. I took the liberty of cleaning and sharpening your knife myself. You will find it under your pillow."

"Thank you, Gandalf. I feel safer already, although I'm not sure how good I would be with my left hand . . ."

"Better than you would be without it, my dear."

"You've got that right. I wonder if I'll be able to wield the axe at all? I'm not sure what I'll be able to do with just my index finger, my thumb and half a pinkie."

"You are determined, I'm sure you will find a way."

"How does my hand look? It sure made Pippin sick to see it."

"It is gruesome of course," he smiled, "But it will heal. The scar will be long and may always be blackened, but it will only be visible from the inside; the back of your hand is unblemished."

"What's going on with the investigation? I can't believe there's a mystery to be solved and I'm stuck in here."

"Glorfindel has his captains interviewing the soldiers, Erestor is questioning the household staff and Gimli is finding out what the dwarves may have seen. Aragorn has gone to speak with Boromir and his men and as you probably already suspected, Legolas is turning his camp upside-down looking for evidence of the venom."

"Not that I think any of the hobbits could be involved, but they are quiet and always turn up in the darndest places. Is it possible one of them may have seen or overheard something without realizing its importance?" When I said "overheard" a bell went off in my mind.

"I will talk to them myself when I leave you. Is there something on your mind?"

"Yes! The elfling! The one who was injured. He has a habit of sneaking around eavesdropping. I know he hasn't been out much, and he's not as quiet with his crutch, but there's a chance he's heard something."

"I will inform Erestor and Glorfindel. His parents serve in the house and the boy is being trained by Glorfindel. Can you think of anyone else?"

"Not unless you speak 'cat' Gandalf. The only other witness might be Macavity."

"I may be able to get something out of him. Cats are notoriously close-mouthed. They seem to feel it is beneath them to speak with those who walk on two legs."

I laughed. I'd been joking about talking to Macavity, but Gandalf was quite serious.

"For the time being, a guard has been posted outside your window as well as in the hall. They are Glorfindel's most trusted warriors. They will keep you safe until you leave Rivendell."

"And then what, Gandalf? What if the guy is one of the elves of Mirkwood and we don't catch him before I leave. I'll be a sheep traveling with a wolf."

"You are no sheep my dear, and there is only one wolf. You will also be traveling with many lions. I deem you will be as safe as one can be nowadays. Once you reach the palace, Thranduil will protect you as if you were his own daughter."

I grinned. _Heckuva father in law, King of Mirkwood. Aslan himself._ "Gandalf, what will happen to the person who did this if he's caught?"

"That will depend on who catches him. The punishment will be different if he is caught by Elrond than it would be if he is caught by Legolas, as you might imagine. If the villain is unmasked in King Thranduil's realm, there is no telling at all.

"Is there any standard punishment? I'm sure the consequences would be more dire if I had died, or if I were an elf."

"There is no capital punishment among the Eldar. Even for murder; in truth a punishment worse than death is imprisonment. Elves are free-spirits. Limiting them to a cell is terrible for them. If the one responsible is indeed an elf, he may be exiled or sent across the sea to be judged by the Valar."

"What if he was simply deluded? Maybe he thought he was doing the right thing? If he sees me as a threat to the safety of the Fellowship for instance. He could be forgiven for taking such a drastic measure, could he not?"

"I have found very few creatures beyond all redemption; we shall have to reserve judgment until he is found and questioned. It would depend a great deal on you; could you forgive him?"

I attempted to flex my right hand and it hurt like the devil. I winced. "I am quite angry about it now I admit, but I believe I could forgive. I'm just glad I didn't take up archery," I laughed.

"You have a kind heart, my dear."

"Well, maybe I'd hurt him a little and then forgive him."

At this point, Elrond opened the door and walked in. Gandalf remained seated. "Good morning, my lady," he said as he raised the drape over my hand.

"Good morning, my lord. How does it look? Can I see it?"

"Are you certain you wish to see it? It is time to close and bandage it."

"Do I get anesthetic this time?"

"Yes, we are not concerned with keeping the blood flowing this time, quite the contrary."

"How about you give me the anesthetic and I watch you close it?"

Elrond smiled, "You have a stout heart. I will allow it. I will have to call a healer to assist me."

"I'm a healer, my lord. I can assist you. We can lay the instruments across my lap and I can hand them to you. Just give me enough anesthetic to take the edge off."

"As you wish, my lady; I will prepare everything myself."

"Could you unstrap my hand for a moment so I can see it?"

"If you are certain . . ."

"Oh definitely!"

He took away the drape and unstrapped my hand and I lifted my arm to look. It burned as the blood began to circulate and the open places felt odd because of the breeze. It looked small and alien. There was a slice going down the center of my palm from between where my middle two fingers used to be to my wrist. It was already stitched closed, but there was a sort of tube with one end sticking out between my index finger and what was left of my pinkie and the other end sticking out at my wrist.

Gandalf propped me up on several pillows then so that I was in a near sitting position.

Elrond set about preparing the draught and laying out the instruments on a cloth across my lap. Finally, he threaded a needle and put it on the cloth.

I turned my hand so that I was looking at the tips of my remaining fingers. The tip of my pinkie was already closed with the skin from the front of my knuckle pulled over the top and stitched up on the palm side very neatly.

The palm side of my whole hand was blackened and I wondered how much of that color would remain after it healed. I could see then that if I hadn't gotten the antidote I would've easily lost my hand, maybe even above the wrist.

I turned it over and although the backside was bruised, especially along the middle, it looked pretty normal; except that it was much narrower than it should've been and puffy.

By this time, Elrond had prepared the drink and handed it to me. I took it in my left hand and lowered my right so that Elrond could strap it down again. I didn't need to twitch or jump during the operation. I drank the draught, it was a little bitter, and we waited for it to take effect.

Soon I was feeling no pain and fighting to stay focused. Gandalf remained standing and was ready to assist if I got too loopy.

"Hiya, Gandalf!" I said, giggling. It was the first time I had called him that in front of the elves.

"I think she is ready, Elrond," Gandalf said and chuckled.

I was able to see what Elrond was doing this time and I grinned but tried to keep the giggling to a minimum.

He started by pulling the tube out and washing the wound with _Athelas_.

"YEOUCH! That hurt!"

"Perhaps you would rather a little more anesthetic? Mithrandir can assist me, if you would like to sleep."

"No, I'm fine now. That tube just really hurt as it was coming out."

He asked me for several instruments in a row, a pick looking thing, a pair of tweezers, etc. At one point he asked me to hold a flap of skin back with a pair of forceps while he stitched it. Nothing else hurt nearly as much as that first pulling of the tube, although the needle stung a little with every stitch. There was very little bleeding and when there was I swabbed it away with a dampened cloth.

When he was finished, he unstrapped my hand and let me look at it. He did a fantastic job. I was amazed at how small the stitches were and how perfectly he managed to fit the skin together with no puckering at all.

"It looks great, my lord!" I was still giddy. "Thanks! Can I have some more of that ante . . . anet . . . that feel-good drink?"

Gandalf was grinning and Elrond was clearing the instruments off my lap.

"I had an excellent assistant, my lady. Here is the rest of the draught. You will be asleep soon."

I drank it down and wasn't bothered in the slightest by the bitterness this time. "Thish ish good shtuff! Goodni . . ." and then I was asleep.

The next time I woke up it was dark outside. My arm was no longer strapped down, but my hand was bandaged all the way up to my elbow and laid across my belly. I was no longer propped up in a sitting position, I figured Gandalf and Elrond had lowered me back down after I fell asleep.

Macavity was sleeping soundly at the foot of the bed and I could see the tops of Legolas' and Aragorn's heads over the backs of the chairs by the fireplace.

"What's a girl got to do to get some food around here?" I called to them, cheerfully.

They both stood up and turned toward the bed. I noticed Legolas' bow and quiver next to his chair and Aragorn was wearing his sword. Legolas spoke, "Good evening _meleth nín_, how do you feel?" Before I could answer he said "Besides hungry." _Ooh, he's learning._

"I feel great. I feel like I could take on the hordes of Mordor . . . right after I eat."

"Perhaps she is spending too much time with the hobbits, Legolas," Aragorn said with a smile.

"How do you really feel, _meleth_?"

"My hand and arm throb, Legolas, but my chest isn't sore anymore and I don't feel lightheaded or sick."

"That is good to hear. Aragorn and I were just discussing the investigation. I am afraid we have not learned anything new."

"I didn't really expect you to. If it's an elf that's behind all this, he's not likely to make a mistake that would get him caught."

"The Eldar are not known for poison. It is considered the act of a coward," Aragorn said.

"In my land, most poisoners are women, historically," I mused.

"We have determined the intended victim had to be either you or Master Gimli, Elaura," Legolas added.

"And nobody except for the other dwarves knew he was coming here and NOBODY knew I would be here until I or they arrived. It brings me back to who carries spider venom around on the off chance of using it?"

"None of the elves of Rivendell admit to having been in Mirkwood or had contact with any Mirkwood elves before they arrived," Aragorn said.

"Hey," I began as everything began to fit in my mind, "If someone wanted Gimli harmed, say a dwarf, would it not be to their advantage for everyone to think an elf of Mirkwood was behind it? Or maybe even an Edan who happened to be in love with an elf of Mirkwood?"

Legolas looked at me and narrowed his eyes, "That would mean that Master Gimli could still be in danger!"

"The dwarves knew Gimli would be here. A dwarf would be the last person suspected of using a poison from Mirkwood!" Aragorn exclaimed.

"But the elf in the black cloak . . ." I wondered aloud.

"Possibly a trick of the night. Or there may be some other reason for an elf to have been out there," offered Aragorn.

"You were looking out the window a good way, Legolas; could there have been someone much closer that you didn't see because you were focused on the retreating form in the cloak?"

"Aye, there could have been, but only if he were very still. I believe Master Gimli should be warned," Legolas said and went to the door to speak with the guard.

Legolas returned after a few minutes and reported that the guard had gone to inform Elrond and summon Gloin and Gimli to the house.

"Wouldn't it be a kick in the ass if my injury was just an accident?"

"If you mean to say that it would be ironic, I would agree with you," Aragorn answered.

"I wonder if there are any females in Gimli's company? We wouldn't be able to tell, would we?"

"Probably not. They do keep to themselves and the females are difficult to distinguish from the males," Aragorn replied.

"It's the beards, right?" I said and rolled my eyes.

"That is what I was going to say, my lady," Aragorn said not understanding my amusement.

I looked at Legolas, who was facing the window and had been silent for several minutes. He had an expression of barely contained rage on his face and his hands were balled into fists. I looked at Aragorn and tilted my head to indicate he should look at Legolas; he caught it and looked. He immediately put his hand on Legolas' shoulder and turned him to face him.

Aragorn spoke to him gently, _"Mellon nín, henion rúth lín_ S. My friend, I understand your anger."

"You can not! I have so much as accused my own kin of this heinous act!" Legolas cried in torment. "I searched every tent, every bag! I questioned their honor, their loyalty!"

"We have all been questioned and every room of the house was searched, Legolas. The use of spider venom was intended to point to your people. It is quite understandable; and there is still the question of the elf you saw. No one has admitted to being out last night, someone is still lying," Aragorn replied calmly.

"In my land, the people closest to the victim are the first to be suspected. The spouse and close friends. That would have made you the prime suspect, Legolas," I said and he looked at me astonished, but his hands relaxed a little.

"I never thought you could have done it, Legolas," I said quickly, "And your people love you. They understand you only wished to find the truth. Can you imagine how Gimli will feel if it turns out that one of his own people wanted to do him harm and I ended up collateral damage?"

His expression softened. "He already feels responsible; this will be very hard on him."

"Exactly. Someone wanted to hurt him and drive a deeper wedge between the elves and dwarves. It was very hard for Gloin to come to the elves for advice in the first place, I'm sure of it. Had the plan succeeded, the Fellowship would have been broken before it even began. That would have been a true tragedy."

Erestor opened the door then without knocking. "Lord Elrond would like for you to come to his study, Aragorn, Legolas. Master Gloin is already there, but Master Gimli could not be found."

"Oh shit!" I exclaimed and sat up. Macavity also sat up, alarmed. "Get me a sling, I'm going to help look for him." I threw the blanket off and swung my legs over the side of the bed.

All three of them took a step toward the bed as I turned and took my knife from under my pillow. "You must stay in bed, Elaura," Legolas began.

"You wanna tie me down, _meleth_? You'll have to. Stop staring at me and help me tie this gown!"

Legolas looked at Aragorn but Aragorn just sighed and said, "Unless you wish to tie her down, I suggest we take her with us."

"Thank you. You and Lord Erestor go on; we'll be there in a few minutes."

Legolas tied the gown with strings along the right side and I found a sling in one of the tables. As soon as it was situated we headed out into the hall, Legolas with his bow and me with my knife. I was barefoot.

We arrived at Elrond's study and found Elrond, Gandalf, Glorfindel, Erestor, Aragorn, Gloin and Gimli's nephew. Everyone turned to look at me and Gloin came up to me.

"My lady, I grieve that you may have sustained such a grave injury at the hands of one of my people," he said.

"I understand how you must feel, Master Gloin, but Gimli's welfare is more important right now. Are any others of your company missing?"

"You should be in bed, my lady," Elrond spoke before Gloin could answer me.

"I suspect Legolas and Aragorn didn't feel inclined to wrestle me into bed and tie me down, my Lord. Do you?"

He gave me the eyebrows of doom, "No, but I do suggest you put on some shoes."

"Yes, my lord. As soon as I can."

Gandalf stood and motioned for me to sit in the chair he had been occupying. I went over and sat, although I would not admit out loud that I was already winded. Macavity, who had followed us, jumped into my lap.

"Who was the last to see Master Gimli?" Gandalf addressed Gloin.

"I was," The dwarf with the black beard answered. "I brought him some food in his workshop this morning. He has been designing some devices to aid in the lady's recovery."

I smiled and sighed. _Just like him._ "Are any other dwarves missing? Have any of them been acting strangely?" I asked.

Gloin answered me, "I called them together to find Gimli when we were summoned, only one did not respond. A female."


	23. A Dangerous Dwarf

A Dangerous Dwarf meets her match by Elaura

**Author's Notes: Sorry for the wait!**

_I smiled and sighed. __Just like him.__ "Are any other dwarves missing? Have any of them been acting strangely?" I asked. _

_Gloin answered me, "I called them together to find Gimli when we were summoned, only one did not respond. A female."_

"Well, what are we all standing around for? Somebody should be looking for them." I exclaimed.

Elrond dispatched Glorfindel to round up the warriors and Erestor was sent to gather a search party from the house. Aragorn and Legolas departed to inform Boromir's men and the elves of Mirkwood. I remained behind with Gandalf and Elrond.

"They must have come from The Lonely Mountain along the Old Forest Road through Mirkwood. She's been planning this for a long time," I pondered aloud. "But why Gimli?"

"The answer to that question will have to wait until they are found," Gandalf answered.

"I was foolish to think that I was the intended target. It made no sense."

"Perhaps not so foolish. No one has yet admitted to being outside your window last night, my lady," Elrond answered.

"That could've just been a lover on their way to a midnight tryst, my lord."

Macavity looked at me and I felt he was irritated. "Ok, you wouldn't have hissed at an innocent lover, I'm sorry to have suggested it," I said to him and he laid his head down, appeased.

My hand was throbbing and I winced. Gandalf saw and spoke, "I shall escort you back to your bed, my lady. Elrond will keep us informed."

It was not a request and I was feeling a little queasy so I didn't argue. Macavity hopped off my lap and I stood to leave. "If you insist, Mithrandir."

"I do," he replied.

"You will keep me posted, my lord?" Elrond nodded.

We went back to my sickbed and I lay down slipping my knife back under my pillow. I sighed heavily and looked out the window.

"Gimli can take care of himself, my dear."

"If he can see it coming. This female is sneaky. She wanted to make it look like I did it . . . or one of Legolas' people used me to do it. I don't like being used, Gandalf."

"Yes, but you have flushed her out. Your people must be just as sneaky for you to have discovered this plot."

"My people have figured out more ways to commit murder and mayhem than you can possibly imagine, Gandalf. There is an entire industry devoted to figuring out whodunit and why . . . and how. There are even children's board games, although the dwarf with the spider venom in the training grounds is not one of the options."

As we waited, my stomach growled. I'd forgotten in the excitement that I was hungry. Gandalf chuckled and stepped into the hall. When he returned I asked, "Is there still a guard outside my door?"

"Yes, I asked him to send for some food, I could eat a bite myself."

"I wouldn't think that I need a guard anymore. I doubt if anyone is out to get me."

"Perhaps, perhaps not. One never knows. There are still many reasons to keep you safe. The arm of Sauron is long indeed and it is likely that the dwarf responsible was beguiled somehow."

"I'll bet it's jealousy. It's the oldest motive in the book. 'Look for horses, not zebras', that's what my mother always says."

"She must be a wise woman."

"Believe me, she is."

* * *

_Mother's baby girl. I wish she could see me now,_ I thought.

Gandalf saw the far away look in my eye and sat in the chair next to the window. "Is there something you would like to talk about?"

"I was just thinking of my mom. She'd be proud, I think. She always wanted me to find the love of my life and be happy. I'm as close to happy as I've ever been right now, despite everything."

He smiled, "I imagine she would be quite proud of you. Your lot is not an easy one and you are bearing it with strength and grace."

"For the most part, I suppose. I DO let my temper get the best of me sometimes. I'm sure it frustrates Legolas to no end."

"The time is long past for Legolas to be alone in this world. He has borne much responsibility with little cause for joy. Temper or no, you have brought him much happiness and now he has a reason to come back from this quest."

An elf entered with a tray of food. _"Hannon le,"_ I said as she put the tray on my lap. Again, there was enough for an army. "Help yourself, Gandalf."

He took a piece of bread off the tray and one of two bowls of a white soup.

I fumbled a little with the spoon in my left hand. I didn't remember having this much trouble with Sam's stew. "This is going to drive me nuts, Gandalf. My left hand has always been fairly useless."

"You will learn; I do not get the impression you allow your frustrations to get the better of you."

"Sometimes I do. I was on several medications before I came here, though interestingly enough I haven't much missed them."

"Perhaps your illnesses were not of the body, but of the spirit?"

"You may very well be right, Gandalf."

We finished our meal in silence and when the tray was empty I laid back and stretched. "Do you think it would be ok if I had a smoke?"

"You have been with the elves too long; you are beginning to read minds," he replied and took out his own pipe and weed.

"Shoot! I don't have mine."

"We can share, if you do not mind."

"Of course I don't mind!" We proceeded to smoke the long curved pipe, handing it back and forth. Gandalf had been amusing me with elaborate, colored smoke rings for some time when there was a quiet knock on the door.

"Enter," I called.

Bilbo stepped into the room. "Good evening lass! Good to see you are awake and enjoying," he took a deep sniff, "Old Toby, I believe!"

"Yes, Bilbo. What else, my friend? Please, join us," Gandalf said with affection. He stood and pulled up a chair for Bilbo who climbed into it and filled and lit his own pipe.

"It's good to see you, Bilbo. How are you?" I asked.

"Fine, fine. How are you? I understand you had a bit of a scare and misplaced a finger or two."

"I think Legolas was more scared than me Bilbo, but you're right; I have mislaid a couple of digits. Keep an eye out for them, won't you?"

"I will at that!" he laughed. "You know I had my own adventure with the spiders of Mirkwood. Nasty creatures! Though I don't recall any of the dwarves losing body parts over it."

"I was wondering about that myself. Why do you suppose it was so nasty for me Gandalf? The tales I've heard don't mention any lasting effects, though Legolas recognized it right away."

"It is the silk, my dear. When a victim is wrapped in the silk it retards the infection. One who is stung and not subsequently wrapped up by the spider is then susceptible to the infection. After all, if the venom always resulted in death, its use to the spider would be limited."

"I see. Does the antidote contain silk, then?"

"No, but it is often used by the elves to bandage a wound until it can be treated," Gandalf replied.

"I'll have to remember that when I get to Mirkwood. Thank you."

"Are you going to Mirkwood, lass?" asked Bilbo, "I do enjoy King Thranduil's company. He is quite a good fellow once you get to know him."

"I'm looking forward to meeting him," I said and winked at Gandalf. "Tell me your tale of Mirkwood Bilbo, please?"

"Of course, always nice to find a good listener."

Bilbo told the tale and Gandalf and I listened obediently. By the time he finished, Bilbo and I were quite tired. He said his goodbyes and I drifted off to sleep.

I was awakened by a knock. I looked at the door and rubbed my eyes. Gandalf stood in the doorway speaking to someone; I couldn't hear them. When he stepped back inside he was concentrating.

"What is it? Have they found Gimli? Is he ok?"

"He has been found, my dear. He is well."

"Was he alone?"

"No."

"Was she with him?"

"Yes."

I was getting tired of Gandalf's cryptic, one-word answers. "For heaven's sake Gandalf, tell me what happened!"

"We have been summoned to Elrond's study; I believe all will be revealed there."

"All right, help me up. What time is it?"

"It is 3 o' clock in the morning."

"No wonder I'm sleepy." Gandalf helped me stand and I grabbed my knife automatically. I had not removed the sling before so I resituated it and we left.

We walked slowly down the quiet halls toward Elrond's study. I was leaning a little on Gandalf's right arm and he was carrying his staff in his left hand.

When we arrived, the crowd from before was there, in addition was Gimli, holding a cloth to his forehead; blood was running from underneath a dent in his iron cap. There was also a dwarf with bloody blonde hair and beard being held on either side by Gimli's nephew and another dwarf I had not met. The blonde dwarf was fighting like a cornered Tasmanian devil and screaming in Dwarvish.

"YOU!" the dwarf yelled when I walked in.

Legolas and Aragorn stepped in front of me but I stood my ground gripping my knife tightly. "Me," I replied and met the dwarf's eye. I pushed between them.

"I suppose I have you to thank for this," I said and lifted my arm.

"You should be dead! You and that #&!" It was obviously a nasty Dwarvish curse aimed at Gimli because he took a step forward and Gloin had to restrain him.

"Perhaps we would be if you had been more competent," I said with a smile and the dwarf flew into a rage. I've always been good at pushing people's buttons and this was easy.

Erestor stood from his seat on the other side of Elrond's desk and offered it to me. I accepted and went and sat down, but I did not relax and kept my left hand closed tightly around my knife.

Elrond spoke, "Now that all parties concerned are present, please explain what has happened.

"Aye," Gimli was nearly growling. "I was searching her quarters and found this," he held up a clear bottle with a vile-looking green liquid in it and set it on Elrond's desk. "I was bringing it to my father when she attacked me on the path . . . with this," he reached behind him and produced a hammer of elven make.

"That blow should have killed you, Gimli! Your skull is thicker than an orc's!" she raged. "Yours and your father's!" she gave Gloin a scathing look. "Asking elves for help! Taking up with HER!" she attempted to point at me but the dwarves flanking her held her back.

"Jealousy," I muttered under my breath and shook my head. "Not that I think it would matter at this point, but we're just friends."

"Friends? Dwarves have no business being friends with elves and men! The dark visitor was right, Dáin will be the ruin of us all, Gloin! You will see."

Gandalf glanced at Elrond at the mention of the 'dark visitor'. Elrond spoke, "There is no doubt as to this dwarf's guilt. She has admitted it. She has attacked guests of my household and attempted to make it appear as if the elves of Mirkwood were responsible. She owes a debt to many, but it is the Lady Elaura who has lost the most as a result of her actions."

I knew what was coming and I tried to ball my bandaged hand reflexively, pain washed over me and I saw red.

"My lady, Master Gloin, Prince Legolas and I have discussed the matter and we leave it up to you to decide who is to dole out the punishment," Elrond looked at me as he spoke.

I stood and walked in front of her, still gripping the knife in my left hand, "No, she has not done me the greatest harm. She has shamed her own people. She has put the very fate of Middle Earth in jeopardy. I leave it to her own kin to decide her punishment."

Gloin stepped forward, "My lady, it is traditional for the one who is wronged to take the beard of the offender to mark them so that all can see their shame. That right is yours."

I looked over my shoulder at Gimli, he nodded in agreement. I swallowed hard, knowing that if I did it I would have an enemy for life. "Is there no other way?" I asked Gloin. He shook his head "no."

"See! She is a coward! She cannot even take what is hers by right! You would call this &#! 'friend', Gimli?"

I sighed and nodded at Gloin. He held the end of her long, braided beard as she struggled and cursed. I slung the sheath off my knife and with an even stroke cut off the braid and dropped it on the floor.

I turned to Gimli and said, "Come with me Gimli, and I'll see to that nasty cut." Without another word, I left the room. Behind me I could hear Gimli placing the hammer on Elrond's desk and the female dwarf screaming and cursing.

Gimli caught up with me in a few strides and as we walked in silence back to my room, he took my knife and re-sheathed it and handed it back to me. When we arrived, I put my knife back under my pillow and he helped me prepare a basin of _Athelas._ I carefully worked his dented cap off with my left hand. "Who IS she, Gimli?" I asked as I dabbed at the gash just above his hairline.

"She is Thorin Oakenshield's daughter's daughter," he answered as he contemplated the dent in his cap. "She has always had a fire in her belly over the treatment of Thorin at the hands of the elves. Dáin believed that her hatred would be tempered once she met them. I fear that like her mother's father she will not gain wisdom until it is too late."

"You understand that she's been fooled by the servants of Sauron? She also seems to have had some love for you once."

"Once," he said and a faraway look passed over him for a second and then it was gone, "But there is hardly any room for love in a heart that is so filled with hate."

I put my hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry, Gimli. What will happen to her now?"

"Now she will be put in shackles and the rest of her beard and head will be shaved. My father will take the company back to The Lonely Mountain and gather the warriors against the coming threat. She will do her penance in Dáin's service. She will not see battle unless it comes to the very doorstep of the mountain. That is her punishment."

"I take it she is a warrior and it is a hard sentence to not be able to fight?"

"She is no warrior, lass. No true warrior uses poison and attacks an unarmed dwarf from behind."

"You were unarmed?" I asked astounded.

"Aye lass, but I was not unready. I knew she had been following me. When I was certain, I turned away from my father's cottage and took a path into the forest. I reached a sharp turn in the path and spun to meet her as she lunged and her first and only blow connected. There was a short struggle, but to be sure she got the worst of it. That was not my blood on her beard."

"But why did it take so long to find you?"

Gimli laughed. "She is nearly as big as me, lass. I had to knock her out to carry her and she kept waking up. It was slow going."

I laughed at the thought of Gimli having to drop her every ten yards or so and punch her again. "Why do I get the feeling you enjoyed that part?"

"Because I did, lassie. I knocked her senseless at least four times for every finger you lost, and six times for the little one."

I finished tending to Gimli's wound by dabbing a little balm on it to numb the pain and prevent infection. "There, now all you need to do is pound the dent out of your helmet. Do you have a headache? I can mix something up for that."

"Yes, lass. But don't tell anyone, especially not the elf."

I mixed the herbs and added a little water, "I won't tell a soul, Gimli. I promise."

He drank it down and set the cup on the table. Then he did something I didn't expect. He set his cap on the table and took my good hand in both of his. There was a catch in his voice and he did not raise his eyes to meet mine.

"Lass, I can never tell you how sorry I am about this. If I'd 'a known, I would've taken her head before allowing this to happen."

"Don't be offended, Gimli, but you're as bad as Legolas. I don't hold you responsible and it certainly isn't the end of the world. Bad things just happen sometimes and if we tried to take responsibility for every one, we'd never have time for any fun."

He cleared his throat and picked up his cap. "I've got some very interesting designs in my workshop to help you hold your axe. I'll need to take some measurements when that bandage comes off," he was changing the subject and I let him.

"Sounds great Gimli. I'll come looking for you when I'm ready to go back to training."

"You won't have to, I'll be back tomorrow. Now you get some rest, lass."

"Goodnight, Gimli. Will I see Gloin again before they leave?"

"He will come to say goodbye. He's taken quite a shine to you, lassie," he said from the doorway and then left.

I lay down on the bed and pulled my covers up. I slipped the sling off and hung it on the headboard. Then I rolled onto my left side to look out the window. I could hear crickets and the night birds singing and I quickly fell asleep.

I did not dream and I woke with the dawn. When I opened my eyes at first I thought I was dead and the angels had come for me. I blinked hard and realized I was looking at Legolas sitting in the window with the sunrise behind him. _No wings, I should've caught that._

"Good morning, _meleth nín,_" I said and smiled.

He turned and looked at me with a joyful smile that lit up the room. "Good morning. I have been waiting for you to wake up. We have but a few short weeks together and I want to spend as much time with you as possible."

"You'll have to get used to my need for sleep and food, Legolas. I can't change it."

"Not to worry. It gives me time to attend to my responsibilities to my people."

"You've spoken to them then? They forgave you instantly for questioning them, I'm sure."

"Yes, you were correct. They understood. I do not like having to apologize and I have had to do it too often of late."

"Practice makes perfect, my dear. Now would you help me get cleaned up? I'd like to go back to my room and change and brush my teeth and I'm sure my hair needs to be re-braided."

"Of course."

I got up and he helped me put on my sling. We walked back to my room together. When we got to my room, he stopped in the doorway.

"I have never been in a lady's bedroom before," he said and the pink tinge came back to his ears.

"Legolas, you've been in my sickroom for two days. It's got a bed in it, hence a bedroom."

"That is different."

"This is the only room I've got, either come in or stay in the doorway. I'm going to change in the closet anyway."

He stepped in and closed the door.

"Have a seat; I'll call if I need you to help." He sat in my desk chair and looked nervous.

I rolled my eyes and changed my plan; he was obviously not going to relax. "I've got an idea. I'm going to grab my clothes and you take this basket and I'll go take a bath. Sound good?"

He looked relieved, "Yes." I handed him the basket and my gold dress and I picked up my shoes.

"Come on then." We went to the bath room and he put my things down next to the tub.

"You wait by the door and I'll let you know if I need any help." He left and I took off my sling and gown and slipped into the bathtub, trying to keep my bandages and my hair dry.

After the bath, I struggled and fought with my dress and shoes and put the sling back on. Then I went over to the sink and discovered I could not open any of the containers in the basket. I lined them up on the sink and called Legolas.

"_Meleth_? I need help."

He came to my side and knew my problem instantly. He grinned and began opening the containers.

"This really sucks, I feel helpless. I thought about trying to open them with my teeth . . ."

"You must learn to ask for assistance. There is no shame in it."

"I'll make a deal with you, you get over being shy and I'll get over being proud."

"Are you saying that one is as likely as the other?"

"You catch on quick, sweetie-pie," I said and tweaked his chin.

He laughed, "Call me when it is time to close them," he said through his laughter and left the room.

I powdered myself and found that brushing my teeth with my left hand was really awkward. I poked myself in the cheek several times when the brush slipped out of my mouth; I got very frustrated.

"Ok, I'm done," I called and Legolas came in and closed the containers and picked up the basket and gown. "Let's just put that stuff back in my room and take the brush outside. I think you'll be more comfortable that way."

"Thank you, _meleth,_" he said.

We dropped off the stuff and went out into the early morning sunshine. We didn't go far from the house, just to the fountain I found Pippin and Merry sitting against the other night.

I sat down on the bench and handed Legolas the brush. He began to undo the braids and was singing softly to himself.

"Do you really enjoy this as much as I do, Legolas?"

"Yes, your hair holds the shape of the braids even after I have taken them out. It is lovely. Would you like to wear it down today?"

"I would, but I'm afraid it will get caught in the sling and pull. Better go ahead and braid it."

"As you wish, _meleth nín._"

He brushed and braided my hair. He was very gentle and I found myself closing my eyes. A song came to me and I began to hum.

"What is that song you hum? It is beautiful. Sing it to me."

I laughed, "Are you sure you want to hear it?"

"Yes, I like to hear you sing."

"Ok, you asked for it."

_Somewhere over the rainbow  
Way up high,  
There's a land that I heard of  
Once in a lullaby.  
Somewhere over the rainbow  
Skies are blue,  
And the dreams that you dare to dream  
Really do come true.  
Someday I'll wish upon a star  
And wake up where the clouds are far  
Behind me.  
Where troubles melt like lemon drops  
Away above the chimney tops  
That's where you'll find me.  
Somewhere over the rainbow  
Bluebirds fly.  
Birds fly over the rainbow.  
Why then, oh why can't I?  
If happy little bluebirds fly  
Beyond the rainbow  
Why, oh why can't I?  
ŧ_

By the time I finished he was done with my hair and sitting next to me. "It is a sad song?" he asked.

"That depends on which side of the rainbow you're on, Legolas."

He smiled and cocked his head slightly, "What side of the rainbow are you on?"

"Until Frodo's quest is complete, I'm afraid we're all on the wrong side of the rainbow."

"Then we must take our joy when we find it. Come." He held out his hand and stood up, I took it and he led me down the path towards the Mirkwood tents.

We were greeted with laughter and merry songs. There was the luscious scent of bread baking in the air. I felt as if I'd just crashed a Renaissance Festival. It was quite impossible not to be happy in that place.

The music reminded me somewhat of Enya, but there were male voices too and the harmony was something I'd never imagined was possible. He led me to the tent in the middle and the tables inside were laden with food. I held my plate and told him what I wanted and he filled it for me. At the end, he filled two wine glasses and I followed him out into the clearing. He returned for his own plate after he got me situated. I nibbled and sipped and watched the elves singing and dancing.

"I suppose I have nothing better to do than eat, drink and be merry; I might as well relax and enjoy myself," I said to no one in particular. A pair of elves who were walking near looked at me and smiled and nodded in affirmation.

One of them approached, "_Gîl síla erin lû e-govaded vín_ (S. A star shines upon the hour of our meeting)."

" _Mae govannen(_S. Well met)!" I replied.

"Sad times come on their own, without hurrying them along with anticipation. Do not waste the joy of the moment considering the past or future. There is nothing one can do to change either."

"_Mae pennen_ (S. Well said), I shall take your advice, _mellon nín_."

He grinned and offered me his hand, "Would you care to dance with me?"

"I'd be delighted." I took his hand and he led me to the middle of the clearing. We danced a while and he was very careful of my hand. He didn't allow me to make many missteps and I enjoyed it very much. Eventually, Legolas stepped up to us grinning. My dance partner put my hand in his.

"_Hannon le, mellon nín_ (S. Thank you, my friend)," Legolas said.

I curtsied to the elf and he bowed to me and left the circle to rejoin the one he'd been walking with.

"I enjoy watching you dance, _meleth,_ you seem much more relaxed now."

"I am," I answered. "But I am a little tired, could we go sit down?"

"Of course." He took me back to our plates and we sat and talked and ate and drank.

I began to feel a little sleepy and I yawned. He noticed even though I tried to hide it.

"Shall I take you back? Lord Elrond will want to check on you."

"Yes, please."

We walked back to the healing rooms and I lay down. He sat in the chair by the window and sang me to sleep.

I awoke several hours later; Legolas was gone and Erestor was in his place. My bandages had been changed so I assumed Elrond had been and gone.

"_Mae govannen, hîr nín_ (S. Well met, my lord)," I greeted him.

"You are awake. Very good."

He poured me a cup of tea from a pot on the windowsill and I raised myself up and set it on the bed next to me. "_Hannon le,_" I said and took a sip.

"Now, about that explanation . . ."

_Shit!_


	24. Explanations and frustrations

Explanations and frustrations by Elaura

**Author's Notes: The long awaited explanations!**

"Yes, the explanation . . .," I gathered my thoughts.

"I believe the words you used were 'fucked-up' and 'neurotic'? I understood 'insecure' and 'emotional'," Erestor replied helpfully.

"Hm. Let's start with neurotic. It's not a real medical term, at least not anymore. In my land we have doctors who treat people who have illnesses of the mind and spirit. Neuroses were once considered a disease of the mind. Those doctors got a lot more specific about their diagnoses so they could charge more and the term 'neurotic' was abandoned," I stalled.

"I see, but what does it mean?"

"It is a 'catch-all' term that refers to any mental imbalance that causes distress, but does not prevent rational thought or an individual's ability to function in daily life. You might say it's like being temporarily hysterical."

"Oh, I can understand that you were experiencing that. What is 'fucked-up'?"

_Oh boy. Think! He's old as dirt, but how much does he really want to know? Then again, he IS a scholar._ "My lord, that one is a little harder to explain. The root word, 'fuck' is just a nasty curse word. A word that as my mother used to scold me should never be used in mixed-gender company. However, it's probably the most over-used word in my language."

"It's actually very versatile," I continued. "It can be used as a verb, noun, adjective, adverb, interjection, or an exclamation. I was using it to describe how I felt. I was confused and my mind was going in all different directions. If something is just plain 'fucked' it means that it is messed up. It's just wrong. 'Fucked up' is just that much more wrong. We had a term in my army: FUBAR . . . F-U-B-A-R. It means 'Fucked-Up Beyond All Recognition'. I really feel like I should apologize for saying it in front of you, or anybody else."

He smiled, "No my lady. I thank you for explaining it. The Eldar may seem innocent and pure to you, but we have been a very violent and emotional race. We have similar words in our own languages and in days long past they even crossed my own lips."

"I'm glad you understand. I'll try not to use those words in public anymore just the same. This explanation was awkward for me; I don't want to have to do it again."

"Now that you have educated me, let us get on with your education. I took the liberty of bringing your book from your room. I want you to read it to me in Sindarin and explain to me what you have just read."

I took the book and found Legolas' poem and my face flushed.

Erestor smiled. "I am very sorry, I am certain that is private and I should not have read it, but I must admit that I did," he said. "The prince has a way with words, does he not?"

"Yes," I said and put it back in. "Shall I start with the page marked, my lord?"

"As you wish."

We spent the next several hours going over the Song of Beren and Lúthien. Whenever I got to a word I didn't understand, Erestor explained it to me. At length, we wrapped it up and we agreed that he would bring parchment and pen to my next lesson so that I could start practicing writing with my left hand.

"_Na-den pedim ad, hîr nín_ S. Until we speak again, my lord."

"_Navaer_ S. Farewell.," he replied and left the room.

I decided to get up and move around. I was feeling better all the time and I was getting stir crazy. I got up and straightened my dress and hair. I slipped on my shoes and stepped out the door. There was an elf in the clothing of the house guard standing in the hall. _They are still guarding my door? Funny, I didn't notice him this morning when Legolas and I left. Maybe they don't bother when he's with me?_

"_Mae govannen,_" I said and didn't wait for an answer. "I'm going for a walk, I wish to be alone, but you may accompany me if you must."

He nodded and walked silently beside me.

I took the path to the training field, hoping I wasn't too late to watch the warriors. It seemed to be late afternoon, though I had lost all track of time and days.

When we arrived, the grounds were still full. Elves, men and hobbits. There were no dwarves today, I thought they were probably preparing to leave Rivendell.

I sat down with my back against a tree trunk and a silly little song my mother used to sing came to me. My guard stood nearby, but not too close, so I sang it to myself:

_If you go down to the woods today, You're sure of a big surprise  
If you go down to the woods today, You'd better go in disguise. _

_For ev'ry bear that ever there was, Will gather there for certain, because  
Today's the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic. _

_Ev'ry Teddy Bear who's been good, Is sure of a treat today.  
There's lots of marvelous things to eat, And wonderful games to play _

_Beneath the trees where nobody sees, They'll hide and seek as long as they please  
'Cause that's the way the Teddy Bears have their picnic _

_If you go down to the woods today, You'd better not go alone  
It's lovely down in the woods today, But safer to stay at home. _

_For ev'ry bear that ever there was, Will gather there for certain, because  
Today's the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic. _

_Picnic time for Teddy Bears, The little Teddy Bears are having a lovely time today  
Watch them, catch them unawares, And see them picnic on their holiday. _

_See them gaily gad about, They love to play and shout;  
They never have any cares;  
At six o'clock their Mummies and Daddies, Will take them home to bed,  
Because they're tired little Teddy Bears. _

_Picnic time for Teddy Bears, The little Teddy Bears are having a lovely time today  
Watch them, catch them unawares, And see them picnic on their holiday. _

_See them gaily gad about, They love to play and shout;  
They never have any cares;  
At six o'clock their Mummies and Daddies, Will take them home to bed,  
Because they're tired little Teddy Bears. _

I had closed my eyes and was picturing all the little teddy bears in my mind dancing and playing hide and seek. When I opened my eyes I was surrounded by elflings in training gear. Glorfindel and my guard were standing nearby, grinning. I blushed furiously. I had not heard anyone approach.

"Sing it again!" said my little friend with the crutch.

"What's a teddy bear?" asked another.

"Teddy bears are little fuzzy dolls that resemble bears. The children of my homeland often take them to bed to sleep with," I explained.

"Teach the song to us, please!" another elfling pleaded.

"I have a doll I sleep with; it's a squirrel!" exclaimed a female elfling standing in the circle.

"Ok," I said and pulled my injured friend into my lap. He was as light as a feather, even though he was the size of a ten-year old child. I sang the song, verse by verse until the elflings were singing along with me. We laughed and sang and soon the whole training ground was filled with merry laughter. Pippin and Merry had joined our group and were dancing a jig, much to the amusement of the children.

I laughed and looked up to Glorfindel, "I'm sorry if I've interrupted your lessons, Glorfindel."

"Not at all, there is always time for laughter. What need would there be to learn to fight if there were nothing worth fighting for?"

The sun was setting and I addressed the crowd, "It is nearly six o'clock, my little teddy bears. Time for your mummies and daddies to take you home to bed!"

My friend hopped up on his good leg and helped me stand. He was very strong for his size. "_Hannon le,_ Little One. Now off with you. I'll come back tomorrow and see you all."

As the crowd dispersed, I saw that Legolas, Aragorn and Boromir were standing across the field watching. They were all smiling. I shook my head and dusted off my dress.

I walked over to them and as I was approaching, Boromir said something I couldn't hear and Legolas blushed. Aragorn was laughing.

"Did I miss something?" I asked.

"Boromir was just saying what an excellent mother you would make," Aragorn replied and Legolas blushed again.

"Thank you, my lord," I said and bowed to Boromir. "Alas, motherhood was never in my stars."

"You are young enough, dear lady. There is still time," Boromir said and grinned as Legolas shifted uncomfortably.

"Let's not put the cart before the horse, my lord. I don't know how they do things in Gondor, but in my country, marriage generally comes first," I replied. I was tickled that Legolas was barely able to contain his discomfort. He was obviously not used to discussing such delicate matters in front of other males.

"Come, we must stop teasing poor Legolas. He looks as if he might dart for the tree line at any moment," Aragorn came to his rescue.

"_Hannon le, mellon nín,_" Legolas said to Aragorn.

"Not to worry, Legolas. I happen to know of a certain Dúnadan who is treading the path to marriage and fatherhood himself," I said and winked at Boromir. It was Aragorn's turn to blush and shift.

Boromir laughed. "Come, I would like to introduce you all to the hospitality of Gondor. Please, dine with me."

"I can't answer for your companions, but I'd be delighted, my lord."

He offered me his elbow and I took it. The four of us walked through the forest on a new path towards a gathering of tents I had not seen before. It was much more familiar to me than anything I had seen yet. The tents were very small and simple and gathered around a large wooden table and a campfire. There were horses nearby inside a rough-hewn log fence.

The table was set with wooden plates, bowls and utensils and there were pewter mugs at each place. A large keg was set on a tree stump near the circle.

"It has none of the splendor of the White City. Were we in Minas Tirith we would be dining on silver plates and drinking from crystal goblets, but alas, my errand was pressing and I could not bring such finery with me," Boromir apologized.

"I'm certain your company will make up for it, my lord," I said and he seated me at the table. It was much like a normal picnic table with benches rather than chairs. "Please tell me of your city."

Legolas sat next to me and Aragorn sat across from us. Boromir sat next to him and another man served us.

Boromir spoke proudly of the White City and the lands of Gondor. Its fields and farms; its marketplaces and the grandness of the Citadel.

"And what of your family? Are you married? Have you any children?" I asked politely, thinking I already knew the answers.

"Ah, you wish to know of the line of the Stewards? My father, Denethor II, is a great and powerful ruler. He is wise and kind, though he is quite weary of late. How I miss the evenings we have spent, my brother Faramir, my father and I, sitting around the fire in my father's study discussing the honor and deeds of our ancestors. Our father longs for a time when he shall have grandchildren upon his knee. Faramir has not yet found a wife, but it is certain he shall. He is wise and fair of face. As for myself, one special maid has won my heart. I intend to ask for her hand when I return home. The sun verily rises and sets upon her and the moon is in her eyes."

I had not expected such depth of feeling from Boromir. He spoke wistfully of home and family and my heart broke to know that he would never see his fair maiden again. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I swallowed hard.

Legolas noticed. "Is there something wrong, Elaura?" he asked, concerned.

"No _meleth,_ my hand is just throbbing a little," I lied. I guessed that he knew I was lying, but he didn't press the issue.

"We have something for that, my lady!" exclaimed Boromir and he handed me a full mug of sweet mead.

The meal consisted of venison, prepared to perfection, vegetables and fruits and breads of many types. Legolas cut my meat for me without my having to ask and over all I felt the evening was quite enjoyed by all.

I was happy to have had time to get to know Boromir a little and hoped someday to be able to tell Faramir about it.

The evening was clear and cool. The stars were bright in the sky. The night creatures sang a happy song and the men were relaxed and comfortable. I was reminded of many nights I spent back home around a bonfire, drinking beer and talking with my friends and family. Legolas even seemed to be enjoying the evening, though he spoke little.

Aragorn and Boromir discussed their travels and experiences. They were amused to find they had much in common and I was pleased to see that Boromir's initial suspicion of Aragorn was wearing off. They could have been old friends.

Eventually, I felt myself dozing. I heard my name and laughter and I shook myself awake.

"You are not yet healed, my lady," Boromir was speaking. "Perhaps you should take your rest?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I hope you don't think I was bored? I've enjoyed this evening very much."

"Of course not! It is obvious you are just sleepy. You should take your teddy bear and go to bed," Boromir winked and gestured toward Legolas who nearly fell out of his seat at the comment.

"You are wicked, my lord," I said and laughed. "I would defend my poor Legolas' honor if I had my axe."

"His honor and yours are intact, my lady. I have heard tale of your wrath and I would not wish it to be directed at me. You have my apologies, my lady, Master Elf," he stood and bowed graciously.

"Apology accepted," I stood and curtsied. I elbowed Legolas and he bowed, still a little off-balance.

"Goodnight, my lady," Boromir said.

"Goodnight, my lord. Goodnight Aragorn," I replied and Legolas bowed again.

We left the camp and walked along the path; I was holding Legolas' right elbow.

"Why do you tease me so, _meleth?_" Legolas asked. There was no hurt in his voice, just curiosity.

"Because it is so easy. You are too shy and modest, Legolas. Though I would not want you to change."

"Love is a private matter among my people. It is discussed with reverence behind closed doors and only with the closest of friends.

"This from the elf who kissed me on our first outing? In front of everyone?"

"Such displays are acceptable, they are from the heart. It would be less natural for me to resist touching you or kissing you . . . or holding your hand. It is the lighthearted discussion of love that I find uncomfortable."

"Well, among my people and apparently men in Middle Earth as well, matters of the heart are discussed more openly, though perhaps that is why some people no longer take it as seriously 

as they should. I can't promise you that I won't tease you, but I won't do it among the elves. Is that ok?"

"I shall attempt to be less uncomfortable as well. I would not have it said that I expect you to make every compromise."

I stopped and kissed his cheek. "Are you for real?"

He grinned and cocked his head; his eyes twinkled in the starlight. "I am real." Then he kissed me.

I felt all the blood rush from my brain to my lips. The forest faded from my sight and I closed my eyes. The song of the night was drowned out by the sound of my heart beating in my ears. I saw bursts of light behind my eyelids. Suddenly, I was drowning, sinking into a warm pool of thick liquid. I felt nothing but the touch of his soft lips and his warm breath. Just as my legs gave out beneath me, he broke the kiss and grabbed my arms, under my shoulders.

"_Meleth!_ Are you all right?" I opened my eyes to face a very worried elf.

I caught my breath and got my balance. "Gee whiz. You faint once and everybody acts like you're made of glass. I'm fine, Legolas. This time it was the kiss." I smiled. "I've never felt anything like it before. I think I could lose my way and be caught in it forever."

"You are sure?" he narrowed his eyes.

"I'm sure. Didn't you feel it?" I regretted the question as soon as it left my lips. I really didn't want to know if he didn't feel the same.

"If you are asking whether I felt myself lost in the kiss, yes. But I did not lose my balance. If I had not held you, you would have fallen."

"I suppose you will have to hold me when you kiss me from now on, then."

"I will remember."

We continued on the path back to the house. He took me directly to the healer's wing and I began to wonder when I would be allowed to sleep in my own bed again.

There was a clean gown on the freshly made bed. I picked it up and looked at Legolas. He bowed and stepped out of the room. I changed and draped my dress over the back of a chair. I went to the door and opened it; he was waiting with his arms crossed leaning against the wall; one of his knees was up with one foot flat on the wall.

I turned and sat in a chair by the fireplace. He kindled a fire. It struck me that I felt comfortable sitting in silence with Legolas. We didn't have to talk all the time. I was always relaxed with him.

Sometimes I was too relaxed. I soon fell asleep.

I woke to see a new dawn. I was in the bed, under the covers. Legolas was sitting in the chair by the window, his eyes were open, but I sensed he was not fully awake. I decided to lay there watching his reverie.

He wore an expression of peace and the warm glow of the morning sun shimmered on his pale skin. I thought it would be creepy to see someone sleeping with their eyes open, but it wasn't. Eventually, his eyes focused and I could tell he was awake.

"Good morning," I said quietly.

"Good morning," he answered. "How long have you been watching me?"

"Just a few minutes, were you dreaming?"

"In a way. I was walking through the forest of my home, with you. You might call it a dream, but it is more real than a dream. I could hear the trees, smell the grass and feel your hand in mine."

"Sounds lovely," I sighed. "Legolas, I'm ready to get out of this sickroom and get back to work. Has Lord Elrond said anything to you about it?"

"He has not, but I am sure he will release you soon. Let us take our breakfast here and wait for him."

"Ok, but this is the last morning I'm spending in this bed, regardless of what Lord Elrond says."

"_Meleth,_" he began sternly, but I cut him off.

"Unless he gives me a very good reason, Legolas. It's just my hand, now. I don't feel sick at all anymore."

An elf brought a tray and as we were finishing it, Elrond finally arrived.

"Good morning, my lord. Can I go back to my own room, now?" I asked before he had even had time to greet us.

"I believe so; I will look at it to be sure," he began to unwrap the bandages.

"Are you sure you want to see this, Legolas? It's not pretty," I said.

"I have seen the effects of spider venom before. I will stay."

"Don't say I didn't warn you. OW!" The last of the bandage had stuck to the scabs and stung when they were pulled off.

"It is healing fast. I do not think it will need to be re-bandaged," Elrond said as he was examining it. "I have brought a glove that will keep pressure on the stitches and keep it clean."

He produced a leather glove that looked like it had been rolled with a cookie cutter. It had tiny diamond-shaped holes all over it, except the palm and pinkie, and it was stretchy. The leather was soft and he slipped it on over my fingers; the thumb and index finger went into short sleeves and were left bare, the pinkie was covered completely.

I raised my hand and looked at it. It still looked alien, but much more useful. "Do I have to keep wearing that sling?"

"You must not try to use the hand until the stitches come out. The sling will not be necessary unless you cannot refrain from using it."

"I won't use it. I promise."

Legolas looked at me, "Do not promise what you can not guarantee, _meleth nín._"

"Ok, I'll try. Is that better?"

Legolas nodded and Elrond grinned.

"It looks great! Can I at least use my thumb and index finger?" I touched the tip of my thumb to my index finger and tried to touch it to my pinkie and winced.

"If it hurts, do not attempt it, my lady. That is all I will say. You may return to your duties in the healing rooms tomorrow, if you wish."

"Sounds good to me, my lord."

I hopped out of the bed and looked at my hand above my head. I flexed my wrist a bit and although it moved normally, it felt different and there was pain if I stretched it too much.

"I will examine it again tomorrow, good day," Elrond said and departed.

"Now I can go see Gimli! He wanted to take measurements."

Legolas smiled.

"You don't have to go with me. I'll be saying my goodbyes to the dwarves. I got the impression the men of Boromir's company were preparing to leave, too. Your people weren't planning on leaving early, were they?"

"No, you will leave when we leave, _meleth,_ Mithrandir believes our departure will not be as obvious this way."

"We'll be a decoy, then? A diversion?"

"I do not think that we should need a diversion. There should not be anyone looking for the departure of the Fellowship or of a party of elves returning to Mirkwood."

I thought about Caradhras, "Don't be so sure. Be watchful, Legolas. Saruman knows more than you think. His spies are everywhere. He knows Mithrandir's every move."

"Mithrandir knows Saruman for what he is, now. He will not be deceived again."

"You're right. Come and help me change," I said and grabbed my knife from under the pillow.

We went to my room and I went to the chest for my training clothes. They were all there, mine and the ones Glorfindel had given me. The last time I remembered wearing them was when I was standing in the forest before I fainted. It amazed me how my things always seemed to find their way home.

Legolas was standing in the doorway. "I'm going to need a lot of help with this stuff, don't go getting modest on me."

He shrugged gracefully and stepped into the room. I grabbed a mustard-colored shirt from the closet and laid it on the bed.

"Would you open those containers in the basket again, please?"

He did and set them on the bed. I struggled with the heavy pitcher in my left hand and nearly spilled it before he came around the bed and took it from me. He poured some water into the basin and I washed my face and brushed my teeth.

Legolas retreated quickly and was standing by the desk, trying to not look too interested, but soon he was fascinated. I remembered feeling like a bug in a jar in Elladan's and Elrohir's camp what seemed like ages ago. This time I was more amused than unnerved.

"What is it that is so fascinating, Legolas? The twins watched me the way you are watching me now. Is there something interesting in the way I clean myself?"

"I can not speak for them, but I have never seen so much effort put into washing before. You scrub so hard and pay such close attention to every crease and every tooth."

"I don't suppose elves get quite as dirty as Edain, despite what I have been told to the contrary."

"It is not only that. You are more meticulous than even the Edain that I have known."

"Have you known any Edain females, Legolas? If your only exposure to Edain hygiene has been Aragorn, I'm not surprised you're amazed. He cleans up nice, but I get the feeling he can go months without a bath if he has to."

Legolas made a polite sound of neither affirmation nor denial.

I finished washing and went to my dresser in the closet to pull out a "bra". _Uh oh. There's no way I can put this on by myself._ I decided then that panties were out of the question. _Thank GOD my period is over!_ I stepped out of the closet still wondering what I was going to do about the bra. _I could go without it, but I want to at least do a little sword training today._

"You look puzzled, Elaura," Legolas said, reading my expression.

"I have a problem. I need to put this contraption on under my clothes, but there's no way I can do it myself."

His brows furrowed. "I . . . I can help you if you turn around, perhaps?" His voice cracked at the end; I had to try hard not to laugh.

"Only if you're sure . . ."

"It is necessary, is it not?"

"Yes. I'll go ahead and put my pants on first, though." I dropped the bra on the bed and picked up the pants. Legolas leaned over the bed and picked up the bra, holding it up gingerly by the straps. When it fell into its normal shape in front of his face, his eyes went wide and his face went pale and he dropped it.

I couldn't help myself; I giggled and stepped into the closet. I leaned my butt on the dresser and pulled the pants on one leg at a time. It was slow going, but eventually I got them up and discovered I could not tie them with one hand. I situated the flap and pulled the leather laces as tight as I could and held them as I stepped out of the closet holding my nightgown around my waist with my chin.

"Legolas, could you tie these for me?"

He stepped up to me and tied them in a neat bow and retreated again back to the foot of the bed.

I dropped the gown and picked up the bra and turned around, facing the open closet door. "Now for this bra . . ."

"Bra?"

"It's short for 'brassiere'. I couldn't tell you where that name came from. Some of them can be extremely uncomfortable, but the tailor of Rivendell is a genius. They are required for support."

I pulled my gown up over my head and dropped it on the floor. I did my best to get the bra over my head, but by the time I had both my arms in it, it was twisted hopelessly. "Help," I said meekly.

Legolas dutifully stepped up and straightened it.

"I see now why it is difficult for you. I apologize for my hesitation."

I felt his breath on the back of my neck and goose-bumps rose on my skin.

"Thank you, Legolas," I said quietly, willing my heartbeat to slow. "Could you hand me my shirt, please?"

He handed the shirt to me and I heard him walk back around the bed. I slipped it on over my head and fumbled with the laces. "Why does everything have to have laces? Hasn't anyone invented the zipper?!" I threw my arms up in frustration.

"Relax, Elaura. I will help you." He came toward me, turned me around and tied the laces, then buttoned the cuffs.

I looked up at him, disappointed in my helplessness. "You might as well stay on this side of the bed, I'm going to need you to fasten my belt and get those damn boots on."

"Do not be so angry with yourself. You will heal and you still have your thumb and index finger. You will be able to do everything you could before." He smiled reassuringly.

"Thank you." I sat on the windowsill and he brought my boots to me. I dusted my feet with powder and they went on fairly easily. I handed him my knife and he strapped it to my left calf. Then I put my tunic on and straightened it. _At least this thing doesn't have any laces._

Finally, I stood and he put my belt around my waist. He was standing in front of me and leaned forward to bring it around the back; I felt my heartbeat speed up again.

"Legolas? Remember what you said about it being unnatural for you to resist the urge to show affection when it is from the heart?"

He stood up straight and was fastening the belt. "Yes, _meleth._"

"Please don't be offended, but . . . what if the urge comes from a little lower?"

He looked stunned, but I could tell he knew exactly what I meant.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Please forget it. Don't run screaming from the room, please," I said as quickly as I could get the words out of my mouth.

He grinned and I relaxed. "I will not run away from you, but we should not have this discussion in your bedroom. We will talk about it later?"

I sighed and rubbed my face, "Ok. Thank you. Well, shall we go find my weapons?" I stopped and rummaged through my pack for my pipe and pouch; I slipped them inside my tunic.

Legolas raised an eyebrow.

"Um, you did know I smoke, right?"

"I had smelled it on you, yes."

"I'm sorry. Does it gross you out? I mean, if you really hate it, I'll quit."

"It does not disgust me, if that is what you are asking. The scent is very strong, but it is a natural smell. It is something like the smoke of a campfire. You derive pleasure from it; I would not ask you to give it up."

"You can't be real," I said incredulously.


	25. Home

Home by Elaura

**Author's Notes:**

**  
Insert standard disclaimer here. :)****  
**

When I glanced back into the chest at my pack and water skin, I got a funny feeling. The kind of feeling you get when you think you might need something but can't figure out why. Whenever I get that feeling and don't listen to it, I always regret it. So I grabbed them; this time I slung the skin over my head so that it rested on my left.

"Ok, NOW I'm ready."

"Are you going on a long journey? I thought you were going to see the dwarves," Legolas laughed.

"I always listen to my inner voices Legolas, and today they are telling me to bring these."

"But your pack is empty."

"For now," I replied and smiled.

He was leaning with his back against the closed door, holding something behind him, grinning.

"What? Did I forget something?"

He nodded and his eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Well, spit it out," I said and cocked my head to the side.

He brought the silver handled brush out from behind his back and laughed. I went over to the mirror and saw that my hair was quite a mess. It had pulled out of yesterday's braids and was looking wild. I rolled my eyes and turned to him, giggling.

"You were NOT going to let me go out like this."

"Of course not, _meleth._"

I took off my pack and put it on the bed then sat in the desk chair in front of him.

Without a word, he took out the braids and brushed my hair and re-braided it, one on each side meeting a long plait in the back.

When he finished, he set the brush on the desk.

"Thank you," I said and stood and picked up my pack again.

"You are welcome."

"Shall we go?"

He turned and led the way back to the front steps. I wondered if he was going to go all the way to the dwarf cottages with me. We turned right and walked at a leisurely pace along the path towards the pub.

The sky over the valley was clear blue and the air was crisp with the promise of winter. I noticed many things I hadn't seen before. There were purple and white flowering vines winding up the trees lining the path and bees still flitted from bloom to bloom. A little chameleon scurried across the path a few feet in front of us. Birds sang in the canopy above.

When we reached the clearing, he spoke, "Master Gimli has seen our approach; he is waiting for you. I will speak to Glorfindel about your weapons and meet you at the training grounds."

"Ok, see you there."

He leaned toward me, placed his hands over my ears and kissed my forehead. He then went back down the path and I turned toward the pub. Gimli was waiting for me on the porch.

"Good morning lassie! You are looking well."

"I feel pretty good, too." I lifted my hand to show him the bandages were gone. "You said you wanted to take some measurements?"

"Aye, lassie. Come with me to my workshop."

I followed him to a cottage nearby. It looked more like an efficiency apartment converted into a smithy. There were hammers of every size lining the walls and an anvil in front of the fireplace. He led me to a long table that came just higher than his waist and was a little higher than my knees.

He picked up a contraption that looked like a metal embroidery hoop with a sturdy, five-inch long, three-inch wide, curved piece of metal attached. It had springs with five finger-sized loops dangling toward the center. "First things first. This is to strengthen your left hand."

I held out my left hand and he strapped the curved metal piece to my forearm and put the loops around the first joint of each of my fingers and thumb. "The tension of the springs can be adjusted." He showed me the butterfly nuts along the outer edge of the hoop.

I flexed my fingers all together and then one by one. It worked surprisingly well, although when I tried to flex each finger separately, they all wanted to move together.

"Practice just one at a time, holding the other fingers straight. It will help your dexterity."

"It looks like a torture device, but I think it'll be great, thanks!"

He un-strapped it and I put it in my pack. Then he picked up a small, egg-shaped ball made of leather. "This is for your right hand. Don't squeeze it, I wouldn'a want you to reopen the wound. Just hold it so I can check the size."

It fit perfectly in my narrow palm and I could manipulate it fairly well with my thumb and index finger. "Feels good to me Gimli, thank you."

"Good, now let me take some measurements and I'll take you around to say your farewells."

I dropped the ball into my pack and held my right hand as flat as I could on the table. Gimli traced around it with a piece of charcoal and then used a knotted string to get the length and circumference of my remaining digits.

"What have you got in mind, Gimli? Can I see your designs?"

"No, lassie. It is a surprise. But when it is finished, you should be able to hold your axe without the fear of losing control. Will you continue to wear that glove after it is healed?"

"Yes, I think so. It's really comfortable and I think it looks cool."

"'Cool'? The holes should provide ventilation . . ."

I giggled, "Um, yep." I decided to let it go.

"Come, then. My father is anxious to return home and report to Dáin."

He led me back out of his "workshop" and to the pub. We entered and nearly all the dwarves had their packs and gear laid out, ready to depart. One particular female was conspicuously absent.

Gloin approached me and bowed deeply, "My lady, it is with great fondness that I bid you farewell."

"At your service and your family's Master Gloin," I replied with an equally deep bow. "It is truly my honor to have met you."

Gloin grinned, "Such a fine, courteous lady. Do not let these elves mold you to their ways! You will always be welcome in my home and in the homes of my kin. His majesty, Dáin, King Under the Mountain has granted me the authority to bind his kingdom in friendship to those I deem worthy. I extend this friendship to you; as well as my heartfelt apology for the injury done to you."

"You needn't apologize for the actions of another, but I accept your offer of friendship and it is my dear wish that I will meet you again."

"I have something for you, my lady." He turned and motioned for Gimli's nephew to bring him a small box that was on a table nearby.

He presented the box to me and I opened it. Inside was a gold signet ring with a single Dwarvish rune. I was dumbfounded.

"Wear this ring and all Dwarves will recognize you to be a friend of King Dáin."

I took it out and put it on my right index finger; it fit perfectly over the leather sleeve. "Thank you, Master Gloin. I will wear it with honor." My voice cracked as tears welled up in my eyes. I leaned down and hugged him, much to his surprise. Much to my surprise, he embraced me firmly and when he let go I stood up straight. I remembered an old Irish blessing my mother taught me and felt it would be appropriate:

"May the road rise to meet you,  
May the wind be always at your back,  
May the sun shine warm upon your face,  
May the rain fall soft upon your fields,  
Until we meet again,  
May Aulë hold you in the palm of His hand."

I turned to Gimli's nephew and offered him my left hand. He grasped my forearm and chucked me on the right shoulder. Then I turned to Gimli, "I'll let you say your farewells in private, Gimli. I'm going to the training grounds," then to the rest of the dwarves, "Goodbye, my friends." I left the pub and headed back towards the house, sniffling.

As I was walking, I saw a flash of white out of the corner of my eye. Soon, Macavity was walking along the path next to me. "Good morning, Macavity."

He didn't acknowledge my greeting but walked with me all the way to the training grounds. When we arrived, he left me at the edge of the clearing and climbed the trunk of a near tree.

The grounds were not as full as they had been the day before. Glorfindel was there with his troop of elflings and several elves were sparring. There was no sign of the hobbits and there were no men in the glade either. I spotted Legolas with his bow on the other side of the field and went over to him.

He slung his bow over his shoulder and reached for my hand. "That is a lovely ring," he said looking at it.

"Yes, Gloin gave it to me. He said that any dwarf I meet will recognize it and know that I am a friend of King Dáin."

"That is an honor, is it not?"

"I certainly think it is. I guess it's like being named 'Dwarf-friend."

Glorfindel joined us. "Would you like to collect your weapons, Elaura?"

"Oh yes. Are they back in the barn?"

"They are being stored with the others, yes. Come."

We followed Glorfindel to the weapons barn and he unlocked the door. I let my eyes adjust to the dim light and saw that the dummy I had annihilated had been completely cleaned up except for a light coating of sand on the dirt floor.

Legolas was admiring the bows hung on the walls and Glorfindel collected my axe and hatchets. "Can we adjust the harness so that I can reach the axe with my left hand, Glorfindel?"

"Of course." I slipped off my pack and he helped me put on the harness and re-adjust it so that I could grab the axe just under the head with my left hand. I wasn't quite strong enough to pull it out. I grumbled. "I'll need the training axe again. I can't practice with the full weight of the real one yet. I guess I'll have to start all over."

"Do not be discouraged _mellon nín,_" he said as he went to the stack of training weapons and pulled out a wooden axe, setting it against a nearby table. "In the end, you will be a better fighter having the ability to use both hands equally well."

I looked at my right hand, "'Equally well'? Right now they both feel equally useless."

Glorfindel handed me my hatchets and I slipped them into the belt without too much difficulty.

"One must crawl before one can walk. Let us find you a sword."

I glanced at Legolas; he wore an expression that was an odd mixture of reverence, awe and a kid in a candy store.

Glorfindel and I stepped up to a table that was laden with short to medium length blades. He picked up one with a leather wrapped hilt that looked to be a little less than three feet long. It was slender and the blade glinted pure silver and was engraved with Elvish runes. He put it in my left hand.

"Swing it, how does it feel?"

I swung it awkwardly from left to right. "The sword feels good, but it's weird holding it in my left hand. I'm sure it'll get more comfortable with practice, though."

"Yes. May I attach the sheath to your belt?"

"Please."

Glorfindel attached the sheath to my belt on the right side so that I could reach across comfortably and grasp the hilt. I stood back, wishing I had a mirror. _I may not be the most dangerous warrior in Middle Earth, but I'll bet I look pretty scary._ "Thank you, Glorfindel."

Legolas turned to look at me. He cocked his head and furrowed his brow.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I asked.

Glorfindel seemed to read his expression and stepped a respectable distance away as Legolas walked toward me. "_Meleth,_ I am torn. I greatly desire your safety and for you to be able to defend yourself . . ."

"But?"

"But I would do anything in my power to prevent you from ever having to use those weapons." He assessed me with his eyes, from the head of my axe down to the tip of my sword. "I would see you in gold and jewels rather than such deadly adornments."

"Ah, then where would the warrior you fell in love with go?"

He sighed and smiled, "You are correct, I do not wish for you to change; however, when these days of dread are passed, would you grant me the honor of becoming better acquainted with your more gentle qualities?"

"You mean you want me to try being a girl sometimes?"

He grinned, "Occasionally."

"It's a deal, my sweet. You supply the gold and jewels and I promise I'll wear them."

Legolas picked up the wooden axe and I picked up my pack and we walked back toward the door. Glorfindel locked it behind us and led the way back to the glade.

I looked at the sky and the sun was directly overhead. "Thank you very much, Glorfindel. I'd love to get in a little practice after lunch. Will you have time?"

"I will be here, _mellon nín._"

I nodded and realized I hadn't packed any food. "Legolas, are you hungry?"

"No, but I would gladly accompany you to the kitchens. It would be ill advised for you to miss any meals until you are stronger."

On the way to the kitchens we stopped at my room; I dropped my pack on the chest and Legolas set the wooden axe against the fireplace. He helped me take off the harness and set it against the fireplace as well. We proceeded to the kitchens where I made sandwiches and filled my water skin. We found a nice spot in the sunshine and sat in the grass.

Legolas lay back in the grass and stared at the sky while I ate. "Do you see anything in the clouds?" I asked between bites.

"Mmm?"

"Shapes, you know like animals, in the fluffy clouds?"

"Yes, there is a swan," he said and pointed to a cluster of cotton balls over our heads.

"Oh, I see it," I said as I leaned back and nearly fell over. I tried to catch myself and remembered at the last second not to use my right hand so the sandwich in my left hand went flying. Quick as a wink, Macavity jumped out of a nearby tree and scarpered with the meat.

Legolas was laughing freely by this time. Since I wasn't ready to start another sandwich, I lay back and watched the clouds float by. Legolas patted his thigh in that pan-reality gesture that 

means: "Don't lay in the grass silly, put your head here," so I scooted over and rested my head on his thigh.

I don't know exactly how long we lay like that because I drifted off to sleep. When I opened my eyes, we were still in the grass, but he was sitting up with his legs stretched out in front of him with my head in his lap. I was surprised I never felt him move. He was leaning back on his hands, watching me.

"How long have you been watching me sleep, _meleth nín_?"

"Long enough to see you dream. Do you remember it? Your brow was creased and you sounded worried."

"No, I don't remember the dream, but I do remember feeling like I was being followed."

"Perhaps you were, that cat always seems to be near you."

"I think he has taken me to be his pet human," I grinned up at Legolas.

He moved a stray wisp of hair away from my eyes with his fingers. "There was something you wished to discuss."

I thought for a moment and remembered the awkward question I asked that morning in my room. "Um, only if you feel comfortable with the subject."

"Matters of the flesh should not be ignored between two hearts that wish to become one. Especially not if the hearts belong to beings as different as we."

"Do you suppose Arwen and Aragorn have discussed such matters? They have known each other for some 70 years and are not yet wed."

"That is their own business _meleth,_ should we not leave it to them?"

I felt like I'd just been gently scolded, it stung a tiny bit and reminded me that I was not speaking to someone of my own age, race or time. I sighed.

"Regardless, I do not have 70 years to wait and if I did I wouldn't want to. I am a hasty creature and patience is not one of my strongest virtues."

"Do you not wish to wait the year you asked?"

I could detect no recognizable emotion in his voice, neither hope nor doubt. "I am torn, Legolas (to use your words). My heart and body have made up their minds; I want you for the rest of my days. Sometimes I can barely keep from throwing myself at you, especially when we touch."

"However?"

"However, my brain tells me that being wedded to you in body and soul is selfish. One reason of course is that you have great trials ahead of you and I should not be a part of that . . ."

"The other reason?" he interrupted. I still could not read him.

"The other reason is that, well, I don't feel worthy of you. Because you are an Eldar, because you are a prince and because your internal and external beauty is beyond my reach. I really don't know if I'm explaining this well, but I feel as if I've been given a gift beyond my wildest dreams by mistake and if I accept it as my own, someone will figure it out and snatch it away."

He watched me in silence. Suddenly it occurred to me that I had finally talked him out of the crazy idea that he loved me and I felt my heart break. I held my breath.

"You are afraid."

It was the truth. I nodded, left mute by the simplicity of it and his ability to lay my heart bare with three words.

"Such is the way of love; we both risk much. You see clearly what is at stake for me, but you hide from yourself what you fear to lose." I looked at him puzzled. "You have protected your heart for so long, perhaps you have forgotten why."

I considered my past. I'd always been willing to sacrifice; my freedom, my body, but never my heart . . . why? I was relieved when I had the miscarriage, relieved when my marriage broke up, relieved when my father and my grandmother died. Why? As soon as my mother became ill, I began to toughen myself. I wore the mask of compassion and tender care, but sealed my heart away again.

"I am selfish, Legolas. I've never given my heart to anyone, not completely. I pretended very well of course, had many relationships with people who believed I loved them, but I never really did."

"Alas, my heart weeps for the pain you must have endured to have locked such a precious gift away from the world."

"That's just it, Legolas. I don't remember any true pain, but I know that I have always lived with the fear of it. I've always learned primarily by watching others; I saw others have their hearts ripped to shreds by disease and death and I somehow found a way to keep it from happening to me."

"Then what you have already missed is worse than anything you could possibly lose now."

I couldn't look at him anymore. I felt an intense rage welling up within me. I closed my eyes and fought it back. "Do not fight your anger, Elaura. Not now, not here. You are safe and we are alone."

"You don't understand!" I shouted and raised myself up. "I want to hurt you! I want to rip you limb from limb!"

"You wish to remove the possibility of love and happiness. You wish to destroy your hope, for that is your protection and that is what you feel you deserve. You are more accustomed to suffering and loneliness, they are your security. Real safety and trust are foreign to you."

"Stop it! Stop it!" I twisted around to face him. "I don't want to hear anymore!"

"You do not wish to feel. I will not allow you to lock yourself up again, now that I have breached the walls."

"Just shut up, Legolas!" I pushed him with all the force I could muster, tears of rage and frustration streamed down my cheeks. His body absorbed my efforts and didn't budge. He was looking directly into my eyes.

I felt like I was about to explode. I didn't know whether to jump and run or lay down kicking and screaming. I wanted to hit him, just to wipe that blasted tenderness right off his face. I let go. I leaned my head back and let out an ear-piercing scream. Birds flew off in all directions.

He didn't flinch, he didn't cover his ears.

When I was done, I slumped forward into his arms and cried, gripping his tunic until my hands ached. He held me for a very long time and I cried so hard that at times I couldn't breathe. I held on to him as if my life would slip away if I let go.

Eventually I found myself repeating "I'm sorry" over and over. I didn't know how long I'd been saying it or if I could ever stop.

"We all have much we regret _meleth nín,_ but the time for regret is past for you. You have the chance now to overcome your fears and open your heart to the world. If not to me, then to others. Shield your heart no more; the fear of loss is always worse than the reality of it."

Finally, the tears stopped flowing and I relaxed. My breathing slowed and he began to rock me slightly. My chest felt like it had exploded and when I opened my eyes I expected to find our little haven covered in blood. The world had changed. My vision was sharpened and colors were brighter, as if I had always seen the world through a veil and that veil had finally been lifted.

I looked up into his eyes; they were midnight blue and glassy as if he had been crying with me. He leaned down and kissed me tenderly. I did not float away or sink into oblivion this time. This time I was hyper-aware, aware of the fact that every moment our lips touched I was losing part of myself, I was losing something I would never see or feel again unless he was with me. I was in love and I was lost, but Legolas would always be my home. "Finally," I whispered into his lips, "I am home."

He needed no explanation.


	26. Book 2

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Book 2

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	27. The First Day of the Rest of my Life

**The first day of the rest of my life by Elaura**

**Just a reminder, I claim ownership of none of J.R.R. Tolkien's original plot or characters; however, Elaura and her story Typically Atypical are mine.**

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Legolas smiled. "Are you not afraid anymore _meleth nin_?"

"I'm terrified, but not of loving you. I feel like the whole world has shifted. Not geographically, I've been down that road before, but _reality_ has changed. I feel like I just stepped into the real world from a dark tunnel."

"Then I welcome you. It is good to have you here with me, at last."

"You're stuck with me now, Legolas. For better or for worse, I'm never letting go."

He looked down to where I was still holding his tunic. Gently he took my right hand away and turned it palm-side up. There was a red stain spreading across the leather.

"Perhaps in the future you should not hold on so tightly?" he said and raised his eyebrows.

"Damn! I think I should go have a look at it. I hope I didn't pop any stitches, I don't think I could bear Lord Elrond's Eyebrows of Doom again."

Legolas stood and offered me his hand. "'Eyebrows of Doom'?"

"Oh, you know what I mean. You had to have noticed it at the Council. The way he raises either one or both of his eyebrows when speaks of doom. I think it must be his favorite word."

He laughed as we walked toward the house. "I had noticed it. Lord Elrond has a way with grave matters. He has been witness to many of the greatest and most terrible events of three ages."

"Yet his face still lights up with mirth sometimes," I replied. "The dwarves think elves are silly or even slightly mad; I think that if I lived to be thousands of years old I would need a little madness to survive."

"Say rather that we are 'merry'. The Eldar experience all emotions deeply, Edain are well acquainted with displays of anguish, yet they are reserved in times of joy. Elves show both equally."

"Your antics may take me by surprise sometimes Legolas, but don't you ever change. How a senior citizen such as yourself can make me feel like I'm in love with a child, I'll never know."

"'Senior citizen?' Age is a relative concept. In comparison to Lord Elrond, I am but a child; he is younger than the Lady Galadriel and she is younger still than those who were awakened in Cuivienen."

"And that would make me a hairless monkey by comparison," I laughed, wondering if they even had monkeys in Middle Earth.

"You are by no means hairless _meleth,_ and what is a 'monkey'?"

I let the reference to my hairy body slide. _No monkeys, check._ "A madman in my own lands named Darwin postulated that humans evolved from a type of hairy animal that walks primarily on two legs. We call those animals primates or less accurately, monkeys."

"You are saying that you are less evolved? To me that appears to be backward thinking. Should it not follow that because the race of men came after the Eldar that they are more evolved?"

"The race of men was awakened after the Eldar, but they have not been fruitful and multiplying as long."

"But they have been multiplying at an amazing rate. And you are forgetting that the Valar themselves were older and perhaps wiser when the race of men was awakened. The ages of the Eldar in Middle Earth are nearly at an end, the race of men is just now coming to the fore. I would imagine that men will prosper far longer than the Eldar."

I was stumped. "I don't know how you did it, but I'm convinced. I always thought that Darwin was a little whack-o, anyway. I've met plenty of animals who were smarter than humans. Take Macavity for instance."

We had reached the healing rooms and I prepared a basin of _Athelas_. I took off the ring and handed it to Legolas then peeled off my glove and let my hand soak for a few minutes. After the blood had washed away I inspected it carefully.

"I think I stretched a few stitches, but they didn't pull out. The blood just seeped out between them."

"Are you certain you do not want Lord Elrond to look at it?"

"Heavens no. I'm a healer, remember? See, it's not even bleeding anymore. I'll just fold up a bandage inside the glove to keep a little extra pressure on it for a while. It'll be fine."

"If you are certain."

"Legolas, I promise to leave the archery up to you if you promise to leave the healing up to me."

"I will not make a promise I can not guarantee."

"Well said, my dear." I pulled my glove back on over a square pad of bandage and Legolas handed me back the ring. "Well, I think Glorfindel is probably waiting for me."

"Let us return to the training grounds then," he replied.

We walked out of the house and although with my hatchets and sword I couldn't bounce too much, I half-skipped along the path. Legolas was laughing at my exuberance and something came to me.

"Legolas?"

"Yes?"

"I thought that elflings were considered adults by the time they reached 50 and were usually married by the time they turned 100. Why is it that so many of the elflings here in Rivendell are at or near 50 and still act and are treated like children?" I was thinking of the little eavesdropper in particular.

"It is the same in my father's realm. In years past it was required that elflings reach maturity earlier in life. In times of peace and prosperity all races have the luxury of extending the days of youth. Is it not so among your people?"

"Yes. There was a time in the not too distant past when it was acceptable for a girl as young as thirteen to marry and start a family and men may have had many young wives in a lifetime; however, by the time I left, I knew many men and women who were still children into their twenties. They lived sheltered lives and had little responsibility. In truth I have met people well into their twilight years still acting like teenagers."

"It is natural for parents to wish to extend the childhoods of their children. To shelter them and keep them innocent as long as possible. Eldar parents are no exception."

"If that's the case and you and I do manage to have a child someday I'll be in my grave before he or she hits puberty."

He looked at me sidelong and smirked. He stopped me in a half skip and whispered, "Then we should not waste too much time before begetting a child after we are united." He winked and stepped down the path.

My jaw dropped open and I felt myself blush. "He didn't. You didn't." I called after him as he strode away. "Now who's teasing who, elf?" I said as I ran to catch up with him. We arrived at the training grounds before I could think of a really good comeback.

The elflings spotted us and ran up. "Sing us another song!"

Legolas was still chuckling merrily; I didn't know whether it was over his finally getting me back for teasing him or at the elflings.

"Are you finished with your lessons?" I asked looking for Glorfindel.

"Oh yes. We finished ages ago. Lord Glorfindel told us you would be here and we were waiting for you," replied the little girl who had said she slept with a squirrel.

"All right, one song and then I must begin my lesson."

The elflings cheered and laughed. Legolas leaned against a nearby tree and crossed his arms, still grinning.

"Ah, let me think . . . I have one:"

"_There once was a farmer who took a young miss,  
behind the barn to giver her a . . .  
Lecture on horses and chickens and eggs,  
he told her she had the most beautiful . . .  
Manners that suited a girl of her charms,  
a girl that he wanted to take in his . . .  
Washing and ironing and then if she did,  
they could get married and raise lots of . . .  
Sweet violets,  
Sweeter than the roses,  
Covered all over from head to toe,  
Covered all over with sweet violets." *_

I was watching Legolas and his eyes widened at the end of the first line and then he smiled and shook his head slowly when the next one began.

The elflings giggled and cheered and begged me to teach it to them. I did and they learned it fast.

"Please sing us one more!" pleaded my sweet little eavesdropper. His sling and crutch were gone, but he was still wearing the neck brace and he walked with a slight limp.

"I'm sorry, but the sun is setting and I need to get in some practice with my sword before dinner. Run along, little teddy bears." I ruffled a few heads as they passed me on their way up the path.

"You have quite a few admirers _meleth,_" Legolas commented as he watched the herd of children depart.

"Yes and they are closer to my own age than you, my sweet." I grinned and he laughed.

"Perhaps you would rather give your heart to one of them?" he asked through his laughter.

"I might have considered it, by my heart is no longer mine to give." I took his hand and we walked over to where Glorfindel was standing; he was pretending not to be listening to us, though the sly smile on his face told me otherwise.

Legolas and Glorfindel exchanged a brief nod in greeting.

"I was concerned you would not make it back, Elaura. They were becoming impatient," Glorfindel said gesturing to the retreating children.

"You have my apologies for keeping you waiting; I will not be tardy again."

Glorfindel took my right hand and turned it over. He saw the stain on the glove.

"Is this what kept you? I hope you have not damaged yourself further."

"Yes, partly. But it is quite all right. I'll just have to be more careful in the future."

"Your majesty," he said to Legolas who appeared to be uncomfortable with as a great warrior as Glorfindel addressing him with such respect. "Would you care to assist me? Your _melda_ (Q. beloved) has much to catch up on. It is easier for me to instruct when I can stand back and watch."

"I would be honored to assist you, _hîr nín_ (S. my lord)."

Glorfindel handed Legolas his sword and helped me get comfortable with the mirror image of my usual stance. I unsheathed my sword and caught the tip on the belt awkwardly.

"I know this is strange to you. Remember to pull the blade straight out of the sheath until it is completely free and then begin to turn your hand."

Glorfindel proceeded to re-teach me block, parry and thrust paying close attention to my grip, stance and the position of my arm. Because it felt less natural and my left hand and arm had a tendency to go spastic occasionally, it was rough going.

Legolas was particularly aware of where my blade was in relation to him and he stepped deftly back whenever I got a little too close.

They were very patient with me, even when I became frustrated, and as the light was fading, Glorfindel and I made arrangements to meet the next morning.

"Thank you, Glorfindel," I said with a bow. "Until tomorrow."

"_Namárië_ (Q. Farewell)."

Legolas handed Glorfindel back his sword and they exchanged silent bows again.

We went back towards the house and I remembered I still had a lesson with Erestor. "Legolas, I have to meet Lord Erestor for my Elvish lesson. Would you like to meet me afterward for a late dinner?"

"I would enjoy that. I will be waiting for you by the fountain," he replied.

"See you later, _hún nín_ (S. my heart)."

He smiled and watched me ascend the steps to the house. I grounded my belt, hatchets and sword in my room. My pipe and pouch fell out of my tunic when I took off the belt, so I put them both inside my pack. I found my book had been returned to me from the healing room where I'd left it, so I picked it up and headed toward Erestor's rooms.

He opened the door before I knocked. "It is good to see you out of the healing rooms, my lady."

"It's good to be out, my lord." I took my usual seat at his desk. I reached for a piece of parchment and picked up the quill pen with my right hand without even thinking.

Erestor noticed the bloodstain on my glove, "I trust you have not been overzealous in your weapons training? I will have to speak with Glorfindel . . ."

"Oh no!" I interrupted, "I didn't do this at training, I . . . um, it's nothing, actually. Didn't even pop a stitch. I'll be more careful until it heals."

I was very pleased to find that I could still hold the quill and write with my right hand, though eventually it began to cramp up and I had to stop. Erestor did not give me a writing assignment for the next day, but he did tell me to read a particular poem and explain it to him at our next lesson. I bid him goodnight, picked up my book and took it back to my room.

I left the book on my desk and straightened my tunic and hair then went to find Legolas.

I found him by the fountain surrounded by hobbits. Frodo, Sam, Pippin and Merry were all sitting in a row in front of the bench and Bilbo and Legolas were sitting side by side on the bench. The hobbits were all smoking and chattering and Legolas was smiling broadly, obviously enjoying their company.

I was astonished to see that Legolas was sitting in a cloud of pipe-weed smoke and did not seem to mind at all. _Somebody got that one wrong. I wonder where the idea that elves don't like smoke came from, the books or the movies or maybe it's just a myth perpetuated by fanfiction writers?_

"Good evening, my friends!" I said as I approached.

"Evenin' milady," replied Sam and Merry.

"Good evening, my lady," said Frodo as he stood and bowed.

"Good to see you out and about, lass!" exclaimed Bilbo.

"Hi, Elaura!" said Pippin and Merry elbowed him.

"Be polite, Pip!" Merry scolded.

"She said we could call her that! You did, didn't you Elaura?" Merry elbowed him again.

"Yes I did and I meant it, Pippin."

Legolas stood and offered me his place on the bench.

"Thank you _hún nín,_" I said and sat.

Bilbo and Frodo looked at me and Legolas and then at each other and grinned.

"Can we see your hand?" Pippin asked eagerly and the other three young hobbits turned to him abashed.

"PIPPIN!" they exclaimed in unison.

"Don't mind them, Pip. I'll be happy to show it to you, if you promise not to turn green again," I said and laughed.

"You oughtn't to encourage him milady," said Sam.

"I'll bet Legolas is thinking he oughtn't to encourage me Sam," I replied. "Besides, it's odd-looking but it's all stitched up. Nothing gruesome about it now."

I took off the ring and Bilbo spoke, "That is a beautiful ring. I have one very much like it. Did Gloin give it to you?"

"Yes, would you hold it for me?" He held out his hand and examined the ring as I stripped off the glove and carefully removed the bandage. The wound was still clean and the bandage didn't stick. Although Frodo was more interested in Bilbo's explanation of my ring, Pippin, Sam and Merry were staring at my hand with their mouths open. I could not resist the urge, so I thrust my hand out toward them suddenly, jumping and yelling "BOO!"

All three of them fell back on their bottoms, dropping their pipes.

Legolas, Bilbo, Frodo and I burst out laughing and when the three young hobbits caught their collective breath, they joined us.

I held out my hand again and slowly turned it over and back. Pippin reached out to touch it and Merry slapped his hand away.

"You can touch it if you like," I said and Pippin reached out again, "Just remember, I'm a girl and I usually don't hold hands until the second date."

Pippin yanked his hand back. "I've never held hands with a girl before!" he exclaimed and everyone laughed again.

I started putting my glove back on, leaving out the bandage.

"Does it hurt bad milady," asked Sam.

"It doesn't hurt at all unless I try to use it Sam, thank you for asking."

Bilbo handed me my ring and I slipped it on my finger.

"Do you gentle hobbits mind if I steal your elf away? I haven't had dinner yet and he promised to dine with me," I said and stood.

"Are you going to the kitchen? I could use a bite to eat myself," Pippin declared and stood to come with us.

"PIPPIN!" Sam, Frodo and Merry exclaimed again.

"What?!?" he asked, confused.

"Let's let them leave and I'll explain it to you dear boy," said Bilbo.

I smiled and said, "Goodnight" and Legolas bowed. I couldn't see it in the dark, but I was pretty sure the tips of his ears were tinged with pink.

"You can't blame that on me Legolas," I said when we were far enough away that the hobbits couldn't hear.

"I do not. How was your lesson?"

"It was great! I can still hold a pen and write!"

"You see _meleth,_ your injury will not prevent you from anything you wish to do. I wish that you would be more patient with yourself. You are so patient with others."

"I've always been like that _hún nín,_ I've always expected myself to do everything right the first time. When I was a little girl, I never understood why I could not do anything as well as my older brother. He seemed to be good at everything."

"I was the same way. The first time I saw my father shoot an arrow I was convinced that I could do it too. I could not understand why I could not pull back the string. When he gave me my first bow, it was much smaller and although I could pull back the string, when my arrow did not hit the target I threw it down and cried. Children do not understand that many years of practice are required."

"It's hard for me to picture you throwing a tantrum, Legolas. Are you sure you still want me to go to Mirkwood? Imagine the stories I'll hear about your childhood! Little Prince Legolas running around the palace naked at bath time, perhaps?"

He took a deep breath and as we approached the light of the house I could see this thought had not crossed his mind until now.

"There will be no secrets between us, that is for certain," he finally said and sighed.

I giggled and took the steps two at a time. When we arrived in the kitchen there were two solitary figures sitting in the poorly lit room at opposite ends of the table. Each had a mug in front of him.

"Good evening, Gimli. Good evening, Lord Boromir," I said and they both rose.

"Good evening lassie!" Gimli replied and then added, "Master elf."

"Good evening my lady, Legolas," replied Boromir.

Legolas bowed to them each in turn. I could see that neither was particularly enjoying his first night in Rivendell alone.

"Are you two staying in the house, now?"

They both nodded in response and sat down.

"You'll find more cheer in a graveyard," I sighed and muttered to myself. Then aloud, "Well if you gentle-people don't mind, I haven't eaten dinner yet. I hope I will not be disturbing you."

"Not at all, lass. Would you care to have a drink with us?"

"I would indeed, thank you. I took a mug from the shelf and held it under the spigot of the keg with my left hand. Boromir, who was closest to me, turned the handle. "Thank you, my lord."

"Have a seat, Legolas," I said and went to the cupboards. "I'll fix up a tray for everyone. Never a good idea to drink on an empty stomach and I'll bet these two haven't had a bite to eat since their people left."

I ignored their protests of not being hungry and made a large tray filled with sandwiches, sliced meats and cheeses, bread and fruit. My right hand proved very useful and luckily the meats and cheeses were soft enough for me to cut with my left hand. I carried the tray to the table grasping the handle with my left hand and holding it underneath with my right.

Despite their protests to the contrary, Gimli and Boromir were obviously starving because they both dug right in.

Now, I'll say right now, I may not be young or beautiful, I may not be a great warrior or singer, I wouldn't even call myself a chef, but I know my way around a kitchen and being from Louisiana, I've thrown my share of impromptu parties. Once Gimli and Boromir had their bellies full, the mood lightened considerably. Even Macavity came to share in the bounty.

After a few mugs of ale, we were all talking and laughing. I regretted then not bringing the hobbits, but apparently they were attracted by the smell of food and the sounds of merrymaking because it wasn't long before they joined us and I stood to help Sam prepare some more food.

Eventually, even Gandalf and Aragorn showed up and I found myself serving the entire Fellowship plus Bilbo and Macavity. I hummed happily to myself as the others chatted behind me. _Mother always said if you cook, they will come._ The table was full so I hopped up on the counter. The kitchen counter has always been my favorite place to sit and there's no finer sight than happy, satisfied males. I'm not too modest to say that I impressed six races that night with my culinary wizardry (if you're wondering how I got six, don't forget the feline race).

Bilbo was the first to show signs that he was getting tired. I hopped off the counter and leaned down to him. "Bilbo, I'm getting a little sleepy, would you mind walking me back to my room?" I asked quietly.

"Capital idea, lass! I was just thinking about bed myself." Then as Frodo stood to assist him, "No, no, Frodo my lad, don't get up. I have the honor of escorting this lady to her room. Enjoy your evening!"

"Gimli, will you be at the training ground in the morning?" I asked.

"Yes lassie! Ready to start up again?"

"Most definitely. See you then."

To my embarrassment, the entire company stood as I left. I blushed and bowed, falling back on the habits I learned in Okinawa. "Good night, my lords."

"Good night my lady," they each replied. Pippin waved.

Bilbo and I walked down the hall to his room. I stopped at his door and he turned around, "I thought I was escorting you back to YOUR room, lass."

"I'm sorry Bilbo, I've just remembered I have to go by the healing rooms and get a fresh bandage. Next time, perhaps?"

"Definitely. Sleep well, my dear."

"Sleep well, Bilbo."

He closed the door behind him and I went back to my room.

I didn't feel like working on my homework so I tucked my book inside my pack, intending to read it the next day. It took me a long time to get undressed, but layer by layer I managed. Eventually, I had all my training clothes folded on the chest and I put on my old comfy blue pjs. I crawled into bed, happier than I could ever remember being. That night, I dreamed I was flying.

* * *

******* "Sweet Violets"**** by Joseph Emmet, 1882 (Quoted text is a variation my mother sang to me when I was a little girl) Link is sung by Dinah Shore arranged by Cy Coben and Charles Grean. It was recorded in 1951 and released by RCA Victor Records. **


	28. Many Happy Days and Nights

**Many Happy Days and Nights by Elaura**

I awoke the next morning just as the sky was becoming a pale grey in the east. I lay there in bed for a few minutes, cozy and warm under the covers, thinking about the previous day and enjoying the fact that I'd finally slept in my own bed again.

"Mmmm. Nice." The air in my room was chilly and Macavity was curled up near the foot of the bed. I missed waking up to Legolas sitting near me, but I realized I would have to get used to it.

Eventually, I got up, slipped on my slippers and padded over to the fireplace. I kindled a small fire and the room warmed up nicely.

I put on my cloak and picked up my basket, leaving my ring on the desk as I left for the shower in the healing wing. It was slower going than usual and the warm soapy water stung my hand, but it felt so good to be able to clean myself and get back to my normal routine. I washed the glove too, hoping it wouldn't get stiff as it dried. Legolas had left the lids on the containers loose so I didn't have any problem using them and I remembered to do the same when I closed them.

I brushed my teeth in the shower and dried off. I put my pjs and cloak back on, grabbed the basket and walked back to my room, the rubber soles of my slippers squeaking on the hardwood floors.

I put down the basket by the desk, draped the glove over the hearth and sat by the fire and combed my damp hair. I wasn't looking forward to fighting with my clothes so I sat there, staring into the fire for a little while. _I'll have to find a tinder box before I leave. Matches are good, but they get wet and eventually run out._

Soon I had to get going. I pulled a bra and a dark green shirt out of the closet. I fought with the bra for what seemed like forever, but I eventually got it straight. I put on my clothes, each time I got to the laces, I pulled them tight with my left hand and used my right carefully to tie the bows.

I was pleased with how well my hand still functioned and silently thanked the Valar that I didn't lose any more of it. The hardest part was my boots, I powdered my feet and pulled and tugged until they were on.

I put on the belt and adjusted it so that the sword didn't interfere with the hatchet on the right side and vice-versa. Then I switched the wooden axe and the real one again, leaning the real one back up against the fireplace. I found my ponytail holder and pulled back my hair. It wasn't easy doing it with my left hand, but I managed.

Finally, I checked my pack and grabbed my water skin and went to the kitchen to eat breakfast and pack a lunch. I was happy to find that the kitchen had been cleaned and I hoped the party hadn't left it for the kitchen staff. I nibbled some fruit and bread and made a couple of sandwiches, then wrapped them up in a cloth with a few small sweet cakes and put them in the pack. Then I emptied what was left in my skin and refilled it; I slung it over my head.

I walked back to my room and put on my harness and glove, banked the fire and headed out to the training grounds, leaving Macavity sleeping peacefully on my bed. I put on my ring on the way out and flexed my right hand as much as I could. The glove had stiffened a little while it dried, but not too much. I resolved to find some saddle soap for it.

The sun was coming up over the mountaintops and the air was sweet and fresh. Morning Glories climbed the trees and had their pretty little faces open to the sun. I stopped in the middle of the path and closed my eyes, listening to the music of the valley. I heard the sweet song of the birds, the breeze rustling in the trees and the faint bubbling of the Bruinen. After a few moments, I heard a soft crunching in the leaf litter and opened my eyes. To my left I saw a white-tailed doe stepping lightly through the trees. I watched her for a bit and then crept away silently down the path.

When I arrived at the training grounds I found Gimli standing with Aragorn, Legolas and Boromir off to the right and Glorfindel with his elflings taking up a large part of the glade to my left. I stood and watched the children for a moment and their sparring took on the appearance of a dance. They were graceful and deadly.

I walked over to the small group of males and said, "Good morning, my lords."

Legolas smiled and bowed, Aragorn and Boromir nodded their heads and replied, "Good morning, my lady."

Gimli exclaimed, "Good morning lassie! I have something for you."

"Is it what you were making for me? You can't have finished it already!"

"Aye! Dwarves can work very quickly, especially when properly motivated." He pulled out something half-leather, half-metal from his pack, "Here, try this on."

The men and Legolas looked on curiously.

I slid my hand into a stiff leather cuff attached to a flat piece of metal that fit into my palm, extending out between my index finger and what was left of my pinkie, curving into a flat hook at the end. "It's amazing, Gimli," I marveled.

He took my hand and buckled two leather straps connected to the flat piece of metal around the back of my hand.

I lifted my hand and examined the hook. "Can this be sharpened? It could be a useful weapon in and of itself."

Aragorn and Boromir raised their eyebrows and Legolas tilted his head slightly. I imagined they were a little taken aback by my suggestion.

"Aye, lass. That it could. Good thinking. Just don't go around patting people on the back!"

I struggled to pull the training axe out of my harness. It still had all the weights attached and Legolas had to help me. When I had it in my hands, I held it near the head with my left hand and balanced the handle in the cradle of the hook in my right, holding it steady with my thumb and index finger.

"How does it feel?" Gimli asked.

"Backward. Let me try it the other way." I switched hands and found I had a fairly solid grip on the axe. "Hey! This is amazing! Maybe I won't have to start over after all!"

Legolas started to protest, but Gimli cut him off, "No, lass. You shouldn't be using that hand until it's healed. We'll get your left side strengthened and then you can decide which way you like better later." Legolas nodded in approval.

Gimli was busy taking the weights off my axe and I unsheathed my sword. I switched it to my right hand and could grip it as well. "This is going to be great, Gimli! Thank you so much!!!"

I sheathed my sword and pulled out a hatchet. I held it in my right hand. I went through the motions of releasing it and there was a sharp pain in my wrist. I hissed and dropped the hatchet, holding my wrist. Legolas took a step forward and I shook my head; he stopped. "This one is going to take a while," I said through gritted teeth, bending over to pick up the hatchet. "One thing I can see already is that the handles are going to get caught on the hook during the release. Can you carve them down a little, Gimli?"

"Aye. I thought of that. I will take some measurements and then you can give me back the device and the throwing axes and I will shave the handles down. In fact, let me take the axe as well and I will shape the handle in places to give you a better grip, right-handed and left."

"After training today, right?"

"You are as stubborn as a Dwarf!"

"And you are a genius, Gimli."

I reluctantly let Gimli take off my "hook". I put my pack down next to his and put the training axe back in the harness behind me. I took off my ring and pulled off the glove to make sure I hadn't started bleeding again. The stitches were clean and I turned my wrist a little. It hurt and I realized I would have to get used to the fact that the bone structure was different.

I turned my palm to face the males and said, "See; I didn't hurt myself. It's just fine."

Aragorn reached out and took my glove from me. "I see you have gotten this wet, my lady. I have a wax that will keep the leather soft." He reached into his tunic and produced a small wooden jar. He opened it and rubbed the contents into the glove, it smelled like nutmeg.

"Thank you. Yes, it got blood on it yesterday and I washed it this morning." I watched as the leather darkened.

"My lady, I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed last evening," Boromir said. "It turned out much better than I had expected when I entered the kitchen."

"Home is where the heart is, my lord," I said and glanced at Legolas, "And the heart of the home is the kitchen. I had a wonderful time myself. I'll tell you a secret if you promise not to repeat it."

Aragorn continued to work the wax into the glove and Gimli was fussing over his pack, but I could tell they were listening.

"There's a woman under all this and she likes to do all that woman stuff. Cooking, cleaning and gardening. She's really quite good at it." I grinned.

"You will make someone a fine bride someday my lady," Boromir replied and looked at Legolas, who was pretending to watch the elflings.

"That's the plan my lord," I said as Aragorn handed me back the glove and I slipped it on. It was much softer. I put the ring back on, "Thank you my lord, it feels much better."

Gimli stood up and spoke, "Enough of this chatter. Time to get to work, lass."

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, Gimli."

We walked away from the others and I began relearning how to take the axe out, assume my backward stance and put it back in. I tried to picture the harness in my mind and Gimli was much more patient with me this time around. I knew what I was doing, but I had to retrain my spastic left hand and arm to act right.

Occasionally I would glance up and see Aragorn, Legolas and Boromir practicing archery. After a while, they switched to swords and Legolas took out his long white knife.

I practiced for three hours without the weights and at the end I was getting it right about seven out of ten times. My hand was beginning to ache just from so much contact with the handle and Gimli called the session to a halt.

"Let me take some measurements now," he said and took out his knotted string. I put the hook back on and held the axe both left-handed and right-handed. He measured and notched it and then measured and notched the hatchets. "I'll fix these and sharpen the metal on the device. I'll bring them back tomorrow."

"Thank you Gimli," I said as I popped the cork off my water skin with my left hand and it went flying. "Crap!" I retrieved it and Gimli took it out of my hand as I drank.

He carved a groove into the wide end of the cork and tied a thin leather string around it. I handed him the skin and he replaced the cork and tied the other end of the string around its mouth and handed it back to me.

"You are definitely a genius Gimli, thank you again. For everything."

"It is the least I can do, lass. After all, if it weren't for me . . ."

"I'll say it one last time," I cut him off, "It's not your fault! It's not anybody's fault, Gimli. She's just mean and a little crazy. She'll be punished and that'll be the end of it."

He grinned, "I'll not argue with you, lass. There may be a woman under those clothes, but there's a stubborn warrior with a sword standing in front of me."

"And don't you forget it, Gimli!" I laughed. "I'll meet you here in the morning. It's time for me to work with Glorfindel, now."

He put my hatchets into his pack and carried my axe, "Work hard, lassie! Bring your other axe tomorrow and I will make adjustments to it as well." he said and walked toward the path out of the field.

"I will," I called to his back, picking up my pack and walking over to where Glorfindel was standing.

"Are you ready to begin or would you like to rest a few moments, Elaura?" he asked as I approached.

"I think I'll rest a minute, my hand is aching a little," I replied and sat on the grass nearby.

The injured elfling was with the group now; I was astonished at how fast he was healing. He still wore the neck brace and the others were careful of it, but he was grinning and seemed to be very glad to be training again.

I had the feeling I wouldn't be allowed to leave without teaching the little ones another song, so I tried to remember one. I was idly making a necklace out of a few late clover flowers and another little ditty came to mind. I smiled and began humming the tune quietly.

After a few moments, I stood up and dusted myself off. "I'm ready to begin, Glorfindel."

He nodded and we commenced my session. A few hours later, I'd improved much and he'd started sparring with me in slow motion, showing me how to counter his strokes with my own.

He stopped and sheathed his sword and I did the same, guiding it with my right hand carefully. "You have done well, Elaura. I am pleased to see that you are more relaxed and patient with yourself today."

"I have hope, Glorfindel. I have joy and I have love. It would be hard to darken my mood. Shall we meet again tomorrow?"

"And every day thereafter. You shall begin working with my other students soon."

"I'd enjoy that!" I replied and sat down by my clover necklace. I opened my pack and dug out my lunch. I leaned back against a tree and watched Legolas and Aragorn locked in a deadly dance of blades.

Glorfindel returned to his students and they broke for a rest. The elflings gathered around me, giggling and pulling out their own lunches. The female and the elfling in the neck brace sat near me.

"Will you sing us another song?" she asked hopefully, picking up the clover necklace and putting it on the boy's head like a crown.

"Yes, then I have to go to work in the healing rooms," I replied taking a drink from my skin.

Several of the children cheered and I saw many of the adults in the field sheathe their weapons and step closer, Legolas, Boromir, Aragorn and Glorfindel among them.

"Ok now, let's see if you can learn it the first time through:"

"_I'm looking over a four-leaf clover  
That I overlooked before.  
One leaf is sunshine, the second is rain,  
Third is the roses that grow in the lane.  
No need explaining, the one remaining  
Is somebody I adore.  
I'm looking over a four-leaf clover  
That I overlooked before."*_

The children squealed with delight and the adults were smiling and chuckling to themselves. I sang it again as I packed up my lunch and the children sang along with me. I kept out the sweet cakes and when we finished I said, "You may have these, but you must share."

The elflings took them from me, breaking them apart and sharing so that each child got at least one bite.

"_Hannon le, híril nín_ [S. Thank you, my lady]," said the littlest warrior.

I took his little head in my hands and kissed his forehead, "_Glas nín, penneth_ [S. My pleasure (joy), young one]," I replied.

I picked up my pack and stood up and dusted myself off again. I left the little group; they were singing the song to each other and laughing as they gathered up their things.

I stretched and walked up to Legolas, who was still standing with the men and Glorfindel. "I'm off to work. Is anyone else leaving?"

"I will escort you back to the house, _meleth,_" Legolas replied and offered me his elbow.

"Until we meet again my lords," I said to the others and took Legolas' elbow.

They nodded in response and we left the glade, I did not see Aragorn again until the week before we left and then only in passing.

"I hope you know many more songs, Elaura. They will insist you sing to them from now on," he said as we walked.

"I'm going to have to think hard; I've just about exhausted my store of childhood favorites."

"They are wonderful songs. I should like to have met your lady mother."

"I wish you could meet her," I said and sighed.

"'Meet'? I understood that your people are dead. Is she still alive?"

"I never said they were dead Legolas, I just don't know. I only know that they are not in Middle Earth and that I have no way of getting back to them."

"I do not understand."

"I promise I'll explain as much as I know after this is all over."

"Then it is part of what Mithrandir told you not to discuss?"

"Yes. That is another reason why our union must wait _hún nín,_ I want you to know everything before you commit yourself to me and I can't tell you yet."

"I understand, _meleth_. I trust in Mithrandir's judgment, but you can not tell me anything that will turn my heart away from you."

We were at the steps again. I leaned up and kissed him quickly. "Thank you, that means everything to me. Will I see you after my lesson with Lord Erestor?"

"Yes, I will meet you at the fountain again," he replied with a smile and I turned and went back to my room to clean up and change.

The healers took me to the gardens that afternoon to show me what the herbs looked like while they were growing. I was amazed to find that the seeds the Mirkwood elves had given them were already poking up through the dirt.

My instructor released me early and I had time to go over the poem before meeting with Erestor. My lesson went well and he gave me another assignment before we parted.

I met Legolas at the fountain afterwards. He was alone that night and had packed us a picnic supper. We went back to the spring where he first brushed my hair and we ate and cuddled for several hours.

My days and nights went on like this for the next several weeks. My hand healed well and the stitches came out within a week. Gimli's adjustments to my weapons made an enormous difference and I wore the hook all the time, learning many other uses for it. Gimli had sharpened the edges and brought the end to a deadly point then gave me a thick leather sleeve to cover it warning me only to take it off in battle. I spent an hour every night working with the device he made to strengthen my left hand and the ball he made for my right.

I also became acquainted with the elves I would be traveling with over many dinners in the Mirkwood compound. They were very friendly and helped my Elvish by only speaking to me in Sindarin. Legolas and I continued to spend all our spare time together, discussing our hopes and dreams for the future.

By the time Aragorn and all of Elrond's scouts returned and the final decisions were made to depart, the trees of Rivendell were naked and a biting wind was blowing down from the mountains.

I was sparring with Gimli both left and right-handed by then and had relearned how to throw the hatchets with both hands. Glorfindel was surprised at how well the hook allowed me to switch hands with my sword.

I felt competent with all my studies, but as Legolas had said, it takes years of practice to become an expert at anything and I'd only had a little over a month.

During the last week of our stay in Rivendell, Legolas introduced me to his horse and told me I would be riding the beautiful dapple grey mare to Mirkwood. She had a black mane and tail (which were plaited) and ivory hooves. He introduced us and he taught me how to ride her without a saddle. Since I couldn't speak to her the way the elves did, she allowed me to use a bridle and reins.

I already knew the basics of caring for a horse; my grandmother had bought me riding lessons when I was thirteen and they taught me how to use a curry comb and maintain a horse's frogs. She was a gentle mare and we became comfortable with one another quickly. It helped that Legolas spoke with her and let her know I was an inexperienced rider.

The hobbits had regained the weight they'd lost on their journey to Rivendell and spent the evenings of that last week together in the Hall of Fire. Frodo and Sam spent their days with Bilbo while Merry and Pippin explored the valley.

I rarely saw Gandalf, Aragorn or Elrond.

******* "I'm Looking Over a Four-leaf Clover"**** by Mort Dixon, music by Harry Woods, 1927 **


End file.
